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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve recently found a adorable fwb who we’ve both discovered likes being very sub and I’m/were looking for like minded couples to advise us on how to proceed and expand on our experiences so far...but....I’ve messaged a few couples to see if they fancy meeting for a drink and a chat or a demonstration or play but nothing......and yes we will sort out a couples profile soon and we’ve both read forums and done research online but seek the personal approach so any help is appreciated |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I would probably say that whilst this may be a good place to use as a resource your best bet is to do research yourself, there are some very good books around; 'screw the roses send me the thorns' is a very helpful starting point.
Also there are a number of fet events around, go along to those or find your local munch (a social for fet lovers) and get yourselves to that.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the reply,I was thinking that a event like that maybe too much too soon,sensory overload as it were and a informal chat and meet may have been better for us personally |
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There ae fetish sites out there with advice blogs/pages, also look for fetish sites with forumsas there you will likely find help for any questions (dunno about meetups but some sites show local munches or events). |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Thanks for the reply,I was thinking that a event like that maybe too much too soon,sensory overload as it were and a informal chat and meet may have been better for us personally "
I understand that but they will be very welcoming of newbies, everyone was one once |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah totally I agree with you.....cheers for the input and I’ve looked and read loads but looking for face to face advice to progress but I will carry on with the search in forums and using trusty google lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read
Talk
Learn
Don't try and fit into anyone else's definition of the labels or how to do things
If it works for you both and done safely and consensual it's fine |
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If you approached us from a single profile looking to get a woman involved we would be very wary from the start.
Set up a couples profile, be clear on what you are looking for and buy a couple of books on the subject (non fiction). We found books somehow easier to share and talk about. Ask to meet couples that you approach socially with no other agenda than to chat about things.
Good luck. |
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"Read
Talk
Learn
Don't try and fit into anyone else's definition of the labels or how to do things
If it works for you both and done safely and consensual it's fine"
Exactly, the only rules are safe, sane, consensual. I would add communication to that though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Read
Talk
Learn
Don't try and fit into anyone else's definition of the labels or how to do things
If it works for you both and done safely and consensual it's fine
Exactly, the only rules are safe, sane, consensual. I would add communication to that though"
Agreed should have been the first one on list |
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By *erby DomCouple
over a year ago
Ashbourne(ish) and Chesterfield(ish) |
Some good suggestions here. Sort out a joint profile and look into some of the online fetish communities for help and advice.
Munches are the perfect thing for meeting other local people into BDSM and they are very informal and nothing to be wary or scared about. You will find them very welcoming and the face to face input and advice will be invaluable.
Have a look at kink event in swingers clubs as these can also be good for watching, learning and of course networking.
I wish you all the best on your journey, it will be very rewarding for both of you I am sure. |
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I know events sound scary but a munch is a good place to start which is a kink social usually in a bar. The dress code and often the conversation is pretty vanilla due to the setting though often a few kinky jokes get thrown around. Older Dominant men are often quite happy to mentor those who are less experienced if you ask nicely enough (I think they just like the chance to show off  ).
You can also find a number of formal demos around. If you fancy a day trip to Birmingham there is a monthly market called BBB for BDSM equipment and they always have a demo scheduled.
Lots of areas have a peer rope group too where people interested in learning rope bondage can attend just to practice or to learn. They are often run by people who are very experienced and regularly suspend people with rope which is always awesome to watch. |
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