FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Messages being deleted
Messages being deleted
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"Hi, I’m just curious to know something. I’m not having a go or a rant, and this isn’t direct at anyone in particular I’m just confused as to why it keeps happening and what I can do to change it, so please do feel free to give me any pointers or tips, my private message is open to anyone! Haha Anyway, I’ve been here before so I know how fab works, but recently since I’ve re-joined, I just can’t help the feeling that it’s gone down hill.. in regards to the fact that I send a message to someone and it just gets opened, and deleted.. no reply, and I don’t know why? I understand there may be reasons why, I get that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but when you read someone’s profile and like what you read, and they may add something like ‘and if you tick all the boxes drop me a message’, so you do and you spark a conversation that you both could chat about, and then 5 mins later you check again and it’s deleted? To me that’s just immature and childish. Even when people ask for face pics, and I send face pics, it’s a straight up delete and I’m left wondering what went wrong??? Honestly I don’t know what’s in it on fab for single guys? Maybe I need to be more of a cocky twat??? God knows! " They aren’t interested. Some women get loads of messages a day. Can’t reply to them all. And I only get a handful a day and I don’t reply to them if I’m not interested. Delete your sent box  | |||
"I'd delete purely down to your age. Straight answer. P" Unless it was regarding something on the forums kinda thing | |||
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"I'd delete purely down to your age. Straight answer. P" Yeah that won’t help either I’m afraid. Many many many women have children on here your age or older | |||
"I'd delete purely down to your age. Straight answer. P Yeah that won’t help either I’m afraid. Many many many women have children on here your age or older " | |||
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"I'd delete purely down to your age. Straight answer. P" It would be the same for me. More than happy for you to send me a private message of what you would normally send and I can let you know if I see anything that could be going wrong. I still wouldn't meet you due to your age but happy to help. Eski | |||
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"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha " Things like being too immature to understand that some people feel creeped out by the idea of fucking people younger than or around the age of their own children. | |||
"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha " Well I’m not attracted to men your age, despite being your age. So unless it’s forum related or we are genuinely very good friends, I won’t interact with someone your age on fab. And like I said - some women get loads of messages a day, and can’t reply to them all. I don’t reply to mine as I’ve had abuse back for a ‘thank you for reading my profile and messaging, but you’re not for me. hope you find what you’re looking for  ’ type message (usually more personal) and I can’t be bothered with that to be honest. I’ll sometimes reply if I can be bothered, but even the nicest of messages initially sent, have been tainted with the abuse they sent after when I turned them down | |||
"There's no single answer to that one OP - some will have taken a look at your profile and decided you're not for them and don't want to get into a to and fro about the why's and wherefores. For some the conversation may not have been going the same way for them as it seemed to be for you. For others real life may have cropped up and by the time they came back to the message there were a load of other messages and yours got forgotten and eventually deleted. And a host of other reasons besides. Best thing you can do is shrug your shoulders and accept it as a way of Fab life - it won't change but with the right attitude and approach you'll find someone with whom the conversation flows and you click with enough to take it to potentially meeting "What he said. It can be demoralising but just ride it out. I had the same thought when I joined and when I returned. Now ive had a good few replies and great conversations that I'd started to think wouldn't happen. Find the right people and it's all good. Stay positive through it though otherwise it will destroy you. | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry." Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better "Just going by my vast experience. | |||
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"You are very young, Your only interaction with the community is a whinge about no replies, You are unverified, what more do you need? Get involved, go to socials, get known for you and perhaps being 22 wont be such a hinderrence. Or it may get worse " Yeah no veris because no one will chat and arrange a meet.. socials aren’t really my thing I’ve been before when I previously was on and got talking to a few people.. but I thank you for your comment and will take it as constructive feedback | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
"And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster | |||
"There's no single answer to that one OP - some will have taken a look at your profile and decided you're not for them and don't want to get into a to and fro about the why's and wherefores. For some the conversation may not have been going the same way for them as it seemed to be for you. For others real life may have cropped up and by the time they came back to the message there were a load of other messages and yours got forgotten and eventually deleted. And a host of other reasons besides. Best thing you can do is shrug your shoulders and accept it as a way of Fab life - it won't change but with the right attitude and approach you'll find someone with whom the conversation flows and you click with enough to take it to potentially meeting "Best form of feedback so far, cheers fella appreciate it | |||
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"You are very young, Your only interaction with the community is a whinge about no replies, You are unverified, what more do you need? Get involved, go to socials, get known for you and perhaps being 22 wont be such a hinderrence. Or it may get worse Yeah no veris because no one will chat and arrange a meet.. socials aren’t really my thing I’ve been before when I previously was on and got talking to a few people.. but I thank you for your comment and will take it as constructive feedback "You get to meet people at socials, and prove yourself to be worth meeting, or not! I dont have many veri's on this profile either, did on my last one. But no longer looking to meet so it doesn't matter to me. Interaction may give you an edge, being a wallflower never worked for anyone ever | |||
"22, can't accommodate and 2 bland public pics. Therein lies a few issues I'm afraid. " I’m getting a lot about my age.. believe me, if I could have chosen to have been born a few years earlier I would have haha it’s okay for girls ages 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to come on and they have no issue with meets, but what about guys, is that really any different? I think that just goes to show how desperate some older guys can be when they’re the only people the girls can meet and want to meet. I can’t accomodate as this is a personal situation. If people spoke to me they’d understand why and what reasons I have for it. If you wish to know yourself I will inform you and it will become clear - but I can assure you it’s not what you think (with parents as most people assume) And as for the pics, fair enough they may be a bit ‘bland’ and ‘generic’, but face pics - I wish to protect my Identity, if people really wanna see my face pics all they have to do is message? And another is, I have more in my friends folder. Again, if someone wants to see my more private and ‘exhilarating’ pictures, they can add me as a friend | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster "How many women have you messaged on here? | |||
"22, can't accommodate and 2 bland public pics. Therein lies a few issues I'm afraid. I’m getting a lot about my age.. believe me, if I could have chosen to have been born a few years earlier I would have haha it’s okay for girls ages 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to come on and they have no issue with meets, but what about guys, is that really any different? I think that just goes to show how desperate some older guys can be when they’re the only people the girls can meet and want to meet." So because I’m 21 and I’ve only met older men, it means they’re just desperate for a shag? 
Sure makes me feel good
You can’t change your age. Work around it and message those who are happy to meet younger men your age, or message women your age who are attracted to men your age | |||
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"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry." I've met men with those criteria from here. | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster
How many women have you messaged on here?"A lot less than you - if I recall correctly you recently said you message anything up to 50 a week (or might have been day) and have got nowhere. In almost three years here I have sent precisely 6 unsolicited messages to ladies on here (that is messages completely cold without interaction on the forums etc) and got replies from 5 of them. As I said to you once before - blanket bombing every lady within a certain radius is not the answer | |||
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"22, can't accommodate and 2 bland public pics. Therein lies a few issues I'm afraid. I’m getting a lot about my age.. believe me, if I could have chosen to have been born a few years earlier I would have haha it’s okay for girls ages 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to come on and they have no issue with meets, but what about guys, is that really any different? I think that just goes to show how desperate some older guys can be when they’re the only people the girls can meet and want to meet. So because I’m 21 and I’ve only met older men, it means they’re just desperate for a shag?
Sure makes me feel good
You can’t change your age. Work around it and message those who are happy to meet younger men your age, or message women your age who are attracted to men your age "No I never said that they’re desperate, but again they’ve seen your age preference and obviously meet what you’re looking for. And it sure makes me feel good when you’re being genuine and send a decent message to have it just deleted lol It’s just a massive ball ache when people use age as a burden, I do message people with their preferences set to let’s say, 18 to 40, or 20 to 35 for example.. I fall in that gap but even then, I get nothing? Regardless of wether that person is my age or younger, or older, it’s just the same? | |||
"22, can't accommodate and 2 bland public pics. Therein lies a few issues I'm afraid. I’m getting a lot about my age.. believe me, if I could have chosen to have been born a few years earlier I would have haha it’s okay for girls ages 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to come on and they have no issue with meets, but what about guys, is that really any different? I think that just goes to show how desperate some older guys can be when they’re the only people the girls can meet and want to meet. So because I’m 21 and I’ve only met older men, it means they’re just desperate for a shag?
Sure makes me feel good
You can’t change your age. Work around it and message those who are happy to meet younger men your age, or message women your age who are attracted to men your age
No I never said that they’re desperate, but again they’ve seen your age preference and obviously meet what you’re looking for. And it sure makes me feel good when you’re being genuine and send a decent message to have it just deleted lol
It’s just a massive ball ache when people use age as a burden, I do message people with their preferences set to let’s say, 18 to 40, or 20 to 35 for example.. I fall in that gap but even then, I get nothing? Regardless of wether that person is my age or younger, or older, it’s just the same? "Then they aren’t interested in you. It’s as simple as that I’m afraid | |||
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"22, can't accommodate and 2 bland public pics. Therein lies a few issues I'm afraid. I’m getting a lot about my age.. believe me, if I could have chosen to have been born a few years earlier I would have haha it’s okay for girls ages 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 to come on and they have no issue with meets, but what about guys, is that really any different? I think that just goes to show how desperate some older guys can be when they’re the only people the girls can meet and want to meet. So because I’m 21 and I’ve only met older men, it means they’re just desperate for a shag?
Sure makes me feel good
You can’t change your age. Work around it and message those who are happy to meet younger men your age, or message women your age who are attracted to men your age
No I never said that they’re desperate, but again they’ve seen your age preference and obviously meet what you’re looking for. And it sure makes me feel good when you’re being genuine and send a decent message to have it just deleted lol
It’s just a massive ball ache when people use age as a burden, I do message people with their preferences set to let’s say, 18 to 40, or 20 to 35 for example.. I fall in that gap but even then, I get nothing? Regardless of wether that person is my age or younger, or older, it’s just the same?
Then they aren’t interested in you. It’s as simple as that I’m afraid "Like I said.. really makes me feel good haha lol | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster
How many women have you messaged on here?
A lot less than you - if I recall correctly you recently said you message anything up to 50 a week (or might have been day) and have got nowhere. In almost three years here I have sent precisely 6 unsolicited messages to ladies on here (that is messages completely cold without interaction on the forums etc) and got replies from 5 of them.
As I said to you once before - blanket bombing every lady within a certain radius is not the answer "Good for you. I have much more experience at this than you then? It's a number's game. If you're unattractive you won't get any. It's simple stuff. I don't know why people won't just be open about this. | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry." If this is genuine advise why are you on here? | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. If this is genuine advise why are you on here?" I've tried everything else. Otherwise I wouldnae be. | |||
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"Fab is drowning in men" I know! | |||
"Yawn" Constructive reply | |||
It gets a little boring  | |||
"There's thousands of you, complaining every day
It gets a little boring "That’s the difference.. I wasn’t complaining? Maybe if people just replied and talked then no one would have to ‘complain’  | |||
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"There's thousands of you, complaining every day
It gets a little boring
That’s the difference.. I wasn’t complaining? Maybe if people just replied and talked then no one would have to ‘complain’ "Some people makes posts about no messages, some people grit their teeth and get on with it. | |||
"There's thousands of you, complaining every day
It gets a little boring
That’s the difference.. I wasn’t complaining? Maybe if people just replied and talked then no one would have to ‘complain’
Some people makes posts about no messages, some people grit their teeth and get on with it.
"Aye | |||
"There's thousands of you, complaining every day
It gets a little boring
That’s the difference.. I wasn’t complaining? Maybe if people just replied and talked then no one would have to ‘complain’
Some people makes posts about no messages, some people grit their teeth and get on with it.
"This is kind of it. Put yourself in the shoes of the women on here, yes they have all the power so can be as rude/cold hearted/picky as they want to be but if the roles were reversed and guys were getting that many messages I'm sure most wouldn't act any different. I didn't like it, and in a way still don't hut I do understand why. | |||
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"You seem quite mature for your age and pretty genuine. Your pics are nice. I have no kids so your age not an issue for me. You seem to be emotionally mature, but then I I(fem) don't usually play with single males.... " You have a yummy hubby, can i borrow him? (Joke) | |||
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"Also once you do accept it and stay positive things get much better. A lot of women pick up on the positivity and attitude especially if you use the forums and will (some, not all) be much more welcoming to you. Not quite sure exactly why but I've had much more replies and messages (even just polite rejections) since I accepted how it works. " This I've met a couple of people and been messaging a fair few others that I connected with over the forums. It's a good way to start and interact with people. | |||
"You seem quite mature for your age and pretty genuine. Your pics are nice. I have no kids so your age not an issue for me. You seem to be emotionally mature, but then I I(fem) don't usually play with single males.... " Having a quick look through the posts, coming from a female your message has to be one of the kindest so thank you very much. There is still hope haha | |||
"Dude, this is fab I'm afraid. It's a virtual world where even women with beards and no teeth get a flock of messages from men. Let the ladies have their pleasure and feel special by deleting your messages, there's no fighting it. "Have you been messaging my veris again | |||
"Site FAQ's are very clear on this. Nobody owes you a reply. Think of it this way, do you reply to every Pizza delivery leaflet that gets posted through your door simply to tell them that you're not interested in their services. I'm a little confused though as you say you've been here before, so really I can't see why you don't already understand this." I must admit that I thought exactly this myself. If you know how it works OP then why the grumble? | |||
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"You seem quite mature for your age and pretty genuine. Your pics are nice. I have no kids so your age not an issue for me. You seem to be emotionally mature, but then I I(fem) don't usually play with single males.... " I agree, you come across as very mature OP- more so than many on here. (As you can see.) Be relieved that they didn't reply. Would you really want to meet a rude person anyway?
Do the Advanced search and tick the box where you meet their age requirements. Although now I think you already said you only mail people where you fit their age range, sorry.
Maybe try the dating sites. They may have more women that actually bother to reply.
Good luck. | |||
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"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster
How many women have you messaged on here?
A lot less than you - if I recall correctly you recently said you message anything up to 50 a week (or might have been day) and have got nowhere. In almost three years here I have sent precisely 6 unsolicited messages to ladies on here (that is messages completely cold without interaction on the forums etc) and got replies from 5 of them.
As I said to you once before - blanket bombing every lady within a certain radius is not the answer
Good for you. I have much more experience at this than you then?
It's a number's game. If you're unattractive you won't get any. It's simple stuff. I don't know why people won't just be open about this."If you count your "experience" in the number of messages you have sent and see this as a "numbers game" then I respectfully suggest you are doing this somewhat wrong and therein lies your problem. People don't want to feel like they're a number and that you've messaged them because the last person didn't reply, or did and said no - as I've already said, get the right approach and attitude to the site and it won't guarantee anything but it will improve your experience. Yes there has to be an attraction, but that doesn't have to mean you're a 6ft ripped adonis - everyone is attractive to someone, it's finding that someone that is the key. | |||
"Most women will delete your msg because off how many they will get " Very true. My better half has hundreds, and those that are clearly cut and paste are the first to go, and the number still stays in the 100s+. And she has filters set quite well too. So op, If she talks to someone, it’s because they have said something or presents them selves in a certain way that’s attractive to her. So it’s not really about what you think is going to attract someone, it’s more about why she thinks she should reply. | |||
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"I agree, you come across as very mature OP- more so than many on here. (As you can see.) Be relieved that they didn't reply. Would you really want to meet a rude person anyway? "Hmm so we are rude for not replying I think not x | |||
"Dude, this is fab I'm afraid. It's a virtual world where even women with beards and no teeth get a flock of messages from men. Let the ladies have their pleasure and feel special by deleting your messages, there's no fighting it. "Beards and no teeth - lol  | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry." What utter rubbish. | |||
"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on " Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on” | |||
"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on”" Lots of men message me thinking they tick all my boxes when in fact they don’t. The sooner you accept that a no reply means not interested, you’ll find this site so much better. Just delete your sentbox so you aren’t checking it, and don’t worry about those who don’t reply to you | |||
"I agree, you come across as very mature OP- more so than many on here. (As you can see.) Be relieved that they didn't reply. Would you really want to meet a rude person anyway?
Hmm so we are rude for not replying I think not x "I think what the user meant who posted your ‘quoted comment’ was that if I send a polite message, after filling out the advance search and finding someone if your requirements, reading their profile, taking an interest in them and sending a polite reply to get absolutely nothing back but a deleted message then yeah it is a little rude? I mean, fair enough if you’re not someone’s cup of tea then it’s not the end of the world, maybe having a message deleted once or twice a week, but everyday? And then when you chat to someone and then hear nothing back, but see them come on and off 4, 5, 6, 7 times through out the day and still get no reply.. it’s just a little kick in teeth and demoralising. I find myself having to explain tune and time again, but I understand that people lead busy lives, people can’t just drop everything to talk to one people, and I know women get messages all the time, but 1 little message to say ‘hi, sorry I can’t chat right now just a little busy I’ll get back soon!’ Then it just shows a little consideration? I dunno maybe have something on ‘copy and paste’, and send it to everyone who messages? Might seem a bit far fetched but at least it’s not a fat delete, wiped if the face of the earth when you’ve taken the time to find someone you’re attracted to, read their profile/interests and start the conversation. If I had hundreds of messages a day though from women, I wouldn’t complain haha | |||
"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on” Lots of men message me thinking they tick all my boxes when in fact they don’t. The sooner you accept that a no reply means not interested, you’ll find this site so much better. Just delete your sentbox so you aren’t checking it, and don’t worry about those who don’t reply to you" Well in my case I know you won’t meet anyone my age so I wouldn’t bother sending you or anyone with any set age preference a like. And I think it’s easy for a woman to say that because of the amount of messages they get a day, they can choose who they want to talk to, who takes their fancy in some respect. But again I thank you for your reply, I will take in to consideration what you’ve said | |||
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"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on” Lots of men message me thinking they tick all my boxes when in fact they don’t. The sooner you accept that a no reply means not interested, you’ll find this site so much better. Just delete your sentbox so you aren’t checking it, and don’t worry about those who don’t reply to you Well in my case I know you won’t meet anyone my age so I wouldn’t bother sending you or anyone with any set age preference a like. And I think it’s easy for a woman to say that because of the amount of messages they get a day, they can choose who they want to talk to, who takes their fancy in some respect. But again I thank you for your reply, I will take in to consideration what you’ve said " Women can choose who they want to talk to regardless of the amount of messages they get. I only get a handful a day at the moment a day, yet I choose who I speak to. Same goes for anyone on this site | |||
"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on” Lots of men message me thinking they tick all my boxes when in fact they don’t. The sooner you accept that a no reply means not interested, you’ll find this site so much better. Just delete your sentbox so you aren’t checking it, and don’t worry about those who don’t reply to you Well in my case I know you won’t meet anyone my age so I wouldn’t bother sending you or anyone with any set age preference a like. And I think it’s easy for a woman to say that because of the amount of messages they get a day, they can choose who they want to talk to, who takes their fancy in some respect. But again I thank you for your reply, I will take in to consideration what you’ve said Women can choose who they want to talk to regardless of the amount of messages they get. I only get a handful a day at the moment a day, yet I choose who I speak to. Same goes for anyone on this site "Yeah like I literally just said, you have that many you can pick and choose who you want to talk to. It’s just a bit demoralising when you make effort and just get a delete. I’m sure if it was the other way around and you sent messages, and got nothing but deletes you’d be feel like it’s a kick In teeth | |||
"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. " Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? | |||
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"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? " If your message is deleted that’s a pretty clear indication that they’re not attracted to you. | |||
"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? " No answer means no. | |||
"Site rules suggest that If your message is deleted, take it as a no thanks ...so just move on Thanks for your reply. My concern was the fact that I was should I say, ‘ticking all the boxes required to chat’, to it’s fair to say I read a persons profile, shared the same interests, liked what I read, found something I could create conversation (whilst baring in mind ALOT of people on here ask for someone who can hold a conversation), so I send a polite message as some profiles say ‘message to find out more’, so I do and then, delete. If it happened a couple of times then fair enough I wouldn’t write a post about it in the forum and I would as you say.. “move on”, but it’s happened quite a lot in the past few days and my reason for this post is to just find out wether it’s not just me? To get other people’s tips and opinions on how to word certain messages because for some people, like I said they want you to hold a conversation, and others, all you have to say is ‘do you wanna fuck’ (probably the fakes) but all in all, whatever I’m doing is t working so yeah, maybe I should just “move on” Lots of men message me thinking they tick all my boxes when in fact they don’t. The sooner you accept that a no reply means not interested, you’ll find this site so much better. Just delete your sentbox so you aren’t checking it, and don’t worry about those who don’t reply to you Well in my case I know you won’t meet anyone my age so I wouldn’t bother sending you or anyone with any set age preference a like. And I think it’s easy for a woman to say that because of the amount of messages they get a day, they can choose who they want to talk to, who takes their fancy in some respect. But again I thank you for your reply, I will take in to consideration what you’ve said Women can choose who they want to talk to regardless of the amount of messages they get. I only get a handful a day at the moment a day, yet I choose who I speak to. Same goes for anyone on this site
Yeah like I literally just said, you have that many you can pick and choose who you want to talk to. It’s just a bit demoralising when you make effort and just get a delete. I’m sure if it was the other way around and you sent messages, and got nothing but deletes you’d be feel like it’s a kick In teeth "You’re not getting my point - I DONT have many to choose from whatsoever, even when I was meeting I got hardly any messages. It doesn’t matter how many people are interested in you, you could have one person send you a message in a day and you could not reply to them because you’re not interested. And I’ve sent plenty of messages and not gotten a reply. Doesn’t bother me, I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. | |||
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"Maybe I need to be more of a cocky twat??? God knows! " OP, I read your last statement and thought, cheeky bugger, what's he got against cockneys? Anyway, the secret to message disappointment is to not send any messages in the first place.. This approach admittedly doesn’t improve your chances of meeting someone. So rather than trying to sell yourself, do the complete opposite and give them something totally unexpected.. If you want an example, message me, I assure you I won't read and delete... | |||
"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha Well I’m not attracted to men your age, despite being your age. So unless it’s forum related or we are genuinely very good friends, I won’t interact with someone your age on fab. And like I said - some women get loads of messages a day, and can’t reply to them all. I don’t reply to mine as I’ve had abuse back for a ‘thank you for reading my profile and messaging, but you’re not for me. hope you find what you’re looking for ’ type message (usually more personal) and I can’t be bothered with that to be honest. I’ll sometimes reply if I can be bothered, but even the nicest of messages initially sent, have been tainted with the abuse they sent after when I turned them down "Seconding this. It's also exhausting enough dealing with sorting through your inbox as a woman on here as by the time you've sorted through the ones you had waiting when you logged in, you have another 30 odd come through when people have noticed you online. If I had to reply to them all too I probably just wouldn't bother with the site as it would be too mentally draining and time consuming for little gain. | |||
"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha Well I’m not attracted to men your age, despite being your age. So unless it’s forum related or we are genuinely very good friends, I won’t interact with someone your age on fab. And like I said - some women get loads of messages a day, and can’t reply to them all. I don’t reply to mine as I’ve had abuse back for a ‘thank you for reading my profile and messaging, but you’re not for me. hope you find what you’re looking for ’ type message (usually more personal) and I can’t be bothered with that to be honest. I’ll sometimes reply if I can be bothered, but even the nicest of messages initially sent, have been tainted with the abuse they sent after when I turned them down
Seconding this. It's also exhausting enough dealing with sorting through your inbox as a woman on here as by the time you've sorted through the ones you had waiting when you logged in, you have another 30 odd come through when people have noticed you online. If I had to reply to them all too I probably just wouldn't bother with the site as it would be too mentally draining and time consuming for little gain."That’s fair enough and it’s a good point actually. I was just curious as to why after doing the searches and finding people whom I’d think I’d get along with due to being the right requirements, taking interest in the same things etc, then that may set me aside? But then again, I remember someone saying you could match everything but if you’re not attracted then it’s a no go.. it’s just a shame that if that’s the case, when the person who you sent the message to can clearly see you’ve taken the time to read their profile and start conversation just deletes what you wrote, and sometimes even without reading your message it’s a little bit, shit in all honesty. But I get what you mean about reading messages, sorting them and having another load | |||
"Maybe I need to be more of a cocky twat??? God knows! OP, I read your last statement and thought, cheeky bugger, what's he got against cockneys? Anyway, the secret to message disappointment is to not send any messages in the first place.. This approach admittedly doesn’t improve your chances of meeting someone. So rather than trying to sell yourself, do the complete opposite and give them something totally unexpected.. If you want an example, message me, I assure you I won't read and delete... "Hahaha sorry! I do apologise! Actually, not so bad feed back there I’ll give it a go, I always thought if someone was interested you could always bring something up in conversation | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. Rubbish!! I fail on two of those and being over 50 am at the other end of the age scale so fall outside a lot of age ranges - none of those have hampered me in the slightest. The key is to have the right attitude and approach, correctly set expectations, acknowledge that men outnumber ladies on here by around 10-1 but don't let it bother you, have a decent profile and pictures and whilst none of that will guarantee a thing - it will make the experience a whole lot better
Just going by my vast experience.
And me mine, and given it's double yours I'd suggest (without blowing my own trumpet) it's vaster
How many women have you messaged on here?"Now, now fellas. No chest beating on the forums. | |||
"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha Well I’m not attracted to men your age, despite being your age. So unless it’s forum related or we are genuinely very good friends, I won’t interact with someone your age on fab. And like I said - some women get loads of messages a day, and can’t reply to them all. I don’t reply to mine as I’ve had abuse back for a ‘thank you for reading my profile and messaging, but you’re not for me. hope you find what you’re looking for ’ type message (usually more personal) and I can’t be bothered with that to be honest. I’ll sometimes reply if I can be bothered, but even the nicest of messages initially sent, have been tainted with the abuse they sent after when I turned them down
Seconding this. It's also exhausting enough dealing with sorting through your inbox as a woman on here as by the time you've sorted through the ones you had waiting when you logged in, you have another 30 odd come through when people have noticed you online. If I had to reply to them all too I probably just wouldn't bother with the site as it would be too mentally draining and time consuming for little gain.
That’s fair enough and it’s a good point actually. I was just curious as to why after doing the searches and finding people whom I’d think I’d get along with due to being the right requirements, taking interest in the same things etc, then that may set me aside? But then again, I remember someone saying you could match everything but if you’re not attracted then it’s a no go.. it’s just a shame that if that’s the case, when the person who you sent the message to can clearly see you’ve taken the time to read their profile and start conversation just deletes what you wrote, and sometimes even without reading your message it’s a little bit, shit in all honesty. But I get what you mean about reading messages, sorting them and having another load "I absolutely agree! I think it's really shit that people can't treat others like human beings. The women and couples who don't reply just make the men feel bad so then they go on to be rude to someone else. They bring it on themselves. I treat people how I want to be treated. Politeness doesn't kill anyone. Maybe their ego. | |||
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"I suppose when you put it like that it seems only fair to agree and understand where people are coming from, but I mean a reply won’t hurt? I always try to reply at least.. but in regards to age, in my eyes as long as you get on then, what’s the issue? Haha Well I’m not attracted to men your age, despite being your age. So unless it’s forum related or we are genuinely very good friends, I won’t interact with someone your age on fab. And like I said - some women get loads of messages a day, and can’t reply to them all. I don’t reply to mine as I’ve had abuse back for a ‘thank you for reading my profile and messaging, but you’re not for me. hope you find what you’re looking for ’ type message (usually more personal) and I can’t be bothered with that to be honest. I’ll sometimes reply if I can be bothered, but even the nicest of messages initially sent, have been tainted with the abuse they sent after when I turned them down
Seconding this. It's also exhausting enough dealing with sorting through your inbox as a woman on here as by the time you've sorted through the ones you had waiting when you logged in, you have another 30 odd come through when people have noticed you online. If I had to reply to them all too I probably just wouldn't bother with the site as it would be too mentally draining and time consuming for little gain.
That’s fair enough and it’s a good point actually. I was just curious as to why after doing the searches and finding people whom I’d think I’d get along with due to being the right requirements, taking interest in the same things etc, then that may set me aside? But then again, I remember someone saying you could match everything but if you’re not attracted then it’s a no go.. it’s just a shame that if that’s the case, when the person who you sent the message to can clearly see you’ve taken the time to read their profile and start conversation just deletes what you wrote, and sometimes even without reading your message it’s a little bit, shit in all honesty. But I get what you mean about reading messages, sorting them and having another load
I absolutely agree! I think it's really shit that people can't treat others like human beings.
The women and couples who don't reply just make the men feel bad so then they go on to be rude to someone else. They bring it on themselves.
I treat people how I want to be treated. Politeness doesn't kill anyone. Maybe their ego. "I do reply to a lot of my messages IF they have read my profile and sent a good message. I’ll akways say thanks for the message but not for me, happy fabbing. I’m actually chatting to a guy who I wouldn’t meet but we exchange the funniest of messages and from the 1st message he made me laugh. | |||
"delete what you send. and ones that only message you now and then are usually doing that when they are down or bored so are not really interested just passing time. you deserve better than that and these are not the right people for you. never send nasty mail or cock pics, if someone is coming across like they are wasting time give them a one word answer. do not feed them. let them show an actual interest in you. its a two way street and your not here to boost their ego " Never feed the ego's! It just makes them worse. | |||
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"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry." You forgot "And you've already messaged everyone within a 75 mile radius of you" | |||
"Hi, I’m just curious to know something. I’m not having a go or a rant, and this isn’t direct at anyone in particular I’m just confused as to why it keeps happening and what I can do to change it, so please do feel free to give me any pointers or tips, my private message is open to anyone! Haha Anyway, I’ve been here before so I know how fab works, but recently since I’ve re-joined, I just can’t help the feeling that it’s gone down hill.. in regards to the fact that I send a message to someone and it just gets opened, and deleted.. no reply, and I don’t know why? I understand there may be reasons why, I get that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but when you read someone’s profile and like what you read, and they may add something like ‘and if you tick all the boxes drop me a message’, so you do and you spark a conversation that you both could chat about, and then 5 mins later you check again and it’s deleted? To me that’s just immature and childish. Even when people ask for face pics, and I send face pics, it’s a straight up delete and I’m left wondering what went wrong??? Honestly I don’t know what’s in it on fab for single guys? Maybe I need to be more of a cocky twat??? God knows! " On an average week I get between 300-700 messages. I don't have the time to reply to them all unfortunately and I don't have a PA. Therefore unless a message or pics or profile really catches my eye I delete. It's nowt personal. | |||
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"On the whole I will reply with a no thank you. I only delete if they are rude or they keep messaging " I luv your green eye(s) | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. " Odd, if we could filter by height, we would filter out anyone over 6ft each to their own eh? | |||
"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Sorry. You forgot "And you've already messaged everyone within a 75 mile radius of you"" Well, I take it he hasn't reached that level of rejection yet. | |||
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"Mate if you're: Under the age of 30. Over 25 on the BMI scale. Under 6 foot. You may as well leave mate. Odd, if we could filter by height, we would filter out anyone over 6ft each to their own eh?"Yes, i have a thing for shorter People too | |||
"On the whole I will reply with a no thank you. I only delete if they are rude or they keep messaging I luv your green eye(s)" Thank you | |||
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"I agree, you come across as very mature OP- more so than many on here. (As you can see.) Be relieved that they didn't reply. Would you really want to meet a rude person anyway?
Hmm so we are rude for not replying I think not x
I think what the user meant who posted your ‘quoted comment’ was that if I send a polite message, after filling out the advance search and finding someone if your requirements, reading their profile, taking an interest in them and sending a polite reply to get absolutely nothing back but a deleted message then yeah it is a little rude? I mean, fair enough if you’re not someone’s cup of tea then it’s not the end of the world, maybe having a message deleted once or twice a week, but everyday? And then when you chat to someone and then hear nothing back, but see them come on and off 4, 5, 6, 7 times through out the day and still get no reply.. it’s just a little kick in teeth and demoralising. I find myself having to explain tune and time again, but I understand that people lead busy lives, people can’t just drop everything to talk to one people, and I know women get messages all the time, but 1 little message to say ‘hi, sorry I can’t chat right now just a little busy I’ll get back soon!’ Then it just shows a little consideration? I dunno maybe have something on ‘copy and paste’, and send it to everyone who messages? Might seem a bit far fetched but at least it’s not a fat delete, wiped if the face of the earth when you’ve taken the time to find someone you’re attracted to, read their profile/interests and start the conversation. If I had hundreds of messages a day though from women, I wouldn’t complain haha "I do understand what your saying hun but you may tick the boxes but if there is no attraction from us to you then I think a no reply is the better option than a msg saying no you don't have the looks we are after that would be more rude than a no reply in my opinion xx | |||
"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? " It's just down to the vast number of messages, you cant expect some one to reply to hundreds of messages just to say they're not interested. | |||
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"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? It's just down to the vast number of messages, you cant expect some one to reply to hundreds of messages just to say they're not interested." I'm glad some of the men get it. | |||
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"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? It's just down to the vast number of messages, you cant expect some one to reply to hundreds of messages just to say they're not interested. I'm glad some of the men get it." Indeed. A lot of guys really need to try and see it from the perspective of the ladies on here. Once you do you can accept it and understand why it is like this and also have a much more enjoyable time on here. I know I have. | |||
"Haven’t read all the thread so apologise if this has already been said. Op, you may ‘think’ you tick someone’s boxes but if they’re not attracted to you then nothing is going to happen. Doesn’t matter if you have the same interests or meet their age requirements, it all comes down to whether they find you attractive from your pictures. Then again, how do you know if you don’t get a message to inform you that this is the case? It's just down to the vast number of messages, you cant expect some one to reply to hundreds of messages just to say they're not interested. I'm glad some of the men get it. Indeed. A lot of guys really need to try and see it from the perspective of the ladies on here. Once you do you can accept it and understand why it is like this and also have a much more enjoyable time on here. I know I have." Glad to hear you have | |||
"I totally understand what you are saying OP. It's frustrating and really disheartening too. It's all well and good these fab regulars who have a go and tell you to get over it with their 20 veris a week, but when it happens day in, day out it can really seem pointless and a massive waste of time being on here. Keep at it...... "I wouldn't keep at it. Why bother mailing people who can't be bothered to reply? | |||
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