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Hurting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy? |
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Usually the answer is time, mostly.
But I try to do things that lift me up in the meantime. Depending on the hurt, channel my anger (gym), cocoon (hot chocolate and blanket sort of thing), surround myself with love. Distract myself if needs be. During all of that, being kind to myself, reinforcing myself, that sort of thing. Failing that, I talk to someone.
I hope you're feeling better soon. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Usually the answer is time, mostly.
But I try to do things that lift me up in the meantime. Depending on the hurt, channel my anger (gym), cocoon (hot chocolate and blanket sort of thing), surround myself with love. Distract myself if needs be. During all of that, being kind to myself, reinforcing myself, that sort of thing. Failing that, I talk to someone.
I hope you're feeling better soon. "
"Surround myself with love" Is the one I could probably do with, but don't and haven't had for some time "Smallest violin in the world" 
I've tried the others before and they don't really help. I tend to delete the person who caused it out of my life and then like you say, time heals all  Only I can't do that in this case  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I watch videos of Sadhguru talking on YT. He really puts things in perspective & helps me find my joy again
I also meditate or give myself reiki.
Be kind to yourself & I hope you feel better soon.
(People can be right cu*ts. Big hugs) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a saying. In life it is important to stop arguing with people and simply let them live their life in the wrong. Perhaps this is one of those moments. Let it go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cry until it stops hurting, then get on with my life.
If I find myself thinking about whoever or whatever hurt me I find something to take my mind off it. |
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"I cry until it stops hurting, then get on with my life.
If I find myself thinking about whoever or whatever hurt me I find something to take my mind off it."
Crying can be incredibly therapeutic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I watch videos of Sadhguru talking on YT. He really puts things in perspective & helps me find my joy again
I also meditate or give myself reiki.
Be kind to yourself & I hope you feel better soon.
(People can be right cu*ts. Big hugs)"
Never heard of Sadhguru. I'm not a very spiritual person myself, though I find it very interesting and like talking about other people's Faith and Spirituality. Thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Nothing. It just devours me.
I am a fat ball of utter confusion and anger. No idea what to think or do anymore.
Oh well!"
I'm like that on the inside right now. Cool cucumber on the outside  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a saying. In life it is important to stop arguing with people and simply let them live their life in the wrong. Perhaps this is one of those moments. Let it go."
I try to avoid contact with this person. I'm not trying to change them. |
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My coping mechanism varies depending on the who, what and why they upset me. I like to take the dogs out for a walk with some loud music on the ipod. Then come home and snuggle them in a duvet fort. Finish it all off with a cry in the bath. Once that’s done I can stop indulging myself and get on with it.
If it’s a matter of the heart I tend to rant at the person until I talked myself down. Talking can be the best way to resolve stuff.
Lots of love OP. A poster above said it best when they wrote ‘Be kind to yourself’ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I cry until it stops hurting, then get on with my life.
If I find myself thinking about whoever or whatever hurt me I find something to take my mind off it."
I've no more tears left for this person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Accept that your hurting and allow time to process it otherwise it will twist you up inside"
I think that's what I think the "Being strong water off s ducks back method is. Wise words  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"go out into the shed and hit the punchbag for a hour or so
That might work actually "
put a pic of the person you really hate on it.
i need a new bag every two weeks or there abouts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Start with defensive agression i find something to break of hit a bag
Then i whine about it to my mates
If that dont work i go to sleep and hope im over it when i wake if not start again and repeat till ok |
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"What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy?"
I certainly wouldn't do what I did as a young boy to protect myself from the pain.
I built an impenetrable wall around my feelings and emotions I wouldn't let anything out or in.
It took a very long time to dismantle enough of the wall to let stuff in and out.
It has left me a rather cold person and in other ways overly sensitive.
This doesn't really help you with your problem but what I do now is take emotion out of a situation and analyse it.
In most cases I find no logical reason to be upset by a thing I discard it and carry on with my life.
I hope this helps |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My coping mechanism varies depending on the who, what and why they upset me. I like to take the dogs out for a walk with some loud music on the ipod. Then come home and snuggle them in a duvet fort. Finish it all off with a cry in the bath. Once that’s done I can stop indulging myself and get on with it.
If it’s a matter of the heart I tend to rant at the person until I talked myself down. Talking can be the best way to resolve stuff.
Lots of love OP. A poster above said it best when they wrote ‘Be kind to yourself’"
I can't talk with this person. It always results in conflict. If I were allowed pets in my building I'm sure they'd fill the "Love method" Mentioned earlier, animals are incredible.
Thankyou for your kind words and thoughts everyone. I am genuinely interested in your coping methods, I'm also interested in what triggers make you have to deploy them, but I'm aware I keep turning it into a pity party. Which I don't really want to do Fucking people are twats, but then you lot come along and prove me wrong x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"go out into the shed and hit the punchbag for a hour or so
That might work actually
put a pic of the person you really hate on it.
i need a new bag every two weeks or there abouts."
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy?
I certainly wouldn't do what I did as a young boy to protect myself from the pain.
I built an impenetrable wall around my feelings and emotions I wouldn't let anything out or in.
It took a very long time to dismantle enough of the wall to let stuff in and out.
It has left me a rather cold person and in other ways overly sensitive.
This doesn't really help you with your problem but what I do now is take emotion out of a situation and analyse it.
In most cases I find no logical reason to be upset by a thing I discard it and carry on with my life.
I hope this helps"
I talk, a bit like I am now. I know bottling things up will fuck you up. Been there, done that.
This isn't a thing, it's a person I cannot escape, a person I'm tied to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Sorry if it seems cryptic. It's family related and I don't want to share the exact details in a forum. I'm not normally one of those people on Facebook who posts a "I'm livid"
"Why? Wassup Babe?"
"I'll PM ya"
Kind of feels that's how I've come across  I'm not an attention whore normally, I promise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Guided meditation. You tube it. There's loads on there and sometimes some very specific ones.... hurt/resentment/sleep/healing. You name it there's probably something related on there.
I watch "feel good" clips on you tube. People doing good things for others, it reminds me of the good and beautiful souls that walk the earth.
P |
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"What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy?
I certainly wouldn't do what I did as a young boy to protect myself from the pain.
I built an impenetrable wall around my feelings and emotions I wouldn't let anything out or in.
It took a very long time to dismantle enough of the wall to let stuff in and out.
It has left me a rather cold person and in other ways overly sensitive.
This doesn't really help you with your problem but what I do now is take emotion out of a situation and analyse it.
In most cases I find no logical reason to be upset by a thing I discard it and carry on with my life.
I hope this helps
I talk, a bit like I am now. I know bottling things up will fuck you up. Been there, done that.
This isn't a thing, it's a person I cannot escape, a person I'm tied to. "
Ok break it down.
Why are you hurting?
Is it because what was said (or done) was unjustified?
If so can you (calmly) tell them how they've made you feel?
If not can you put it in a letter? Doesn't matter if you never send it, it just helps to put things down/vent in a safe way. Also helps put things in perspective.
Is it because they've touched a nerve? Is there an element of truth in what was said which has made you defensive?
If so, then own that. It's ok to be upset but it's also helpful to be able to see the other person's viewpoint.
Is it something which is within your power to fix?
You say this is a person you are tied to. If their behaviour is toxic you don't have to accept it. Limit your interaction with them to the bare minimum. Protect yourself.
Lots of stuff online about building resilience. Have a look.
Hug of support to you.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Guided meditation. You tube it. There's loads on there and sometimes some very specific ones.... hurt/resentment/sleep/healing. You name it there's probably something related on there.
I watch "feel good" clips on you tube. People doing good things for others, it reminds me of the good and beautiful souls that walk the earth.
P"
lol.. mood I'm in I'm likley to mutter "Facking do-gooders" Under my breath. Painting is about as close as I'm ever likely to get to meditation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nothing. It just devours me.
I am a fat ball of utter confusion and anger. No idea what to think or do anymore.
Oh well!
I'm like that on the inside right now. Cool cucumber on the outside "
I'm about as cool as a quasar. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ok break it down.
Why are you hurting? Because someone I can't escape keeps attacking me.
Is it because what was said (or done) was unjustified? Most of the time yes, but I once did something that made them despise me.
If so can you (calmly) tell them how they've made you feel? No, nearly all communication results in conflict.
If not can you put it in a letter? Doesn't matter if you never send it, it just helps to put things down/vent in a safe way. Also helps put things in perspective.
I'm using the forum instead.
Is it because they've touched a nerve? Is there an element of truth in what was said which has made you defensive? Yes, but it was unjustified, inappropriate and nasty. Though I've done nothing in four years to justify it.
If so, then own that. It's ok to be upset but it's also helpful to be able to see the other person's viewpoint. I have done, its them that refuses to move on and keeps bringing back to the bad place.
Is it something which is within your power to fix? No.
You say this is a person you are tied to. If their behaviour is toxic you don't have to accept it. Limit your interaction with them to the bare minimum. Protect yourself. I try to, but I have to see this person if I want to see two much more important people in my life.
Lots of stuff online about building resilience. Have a look.
Hug of support to you. Thankyou xxx |
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"What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy?
I certainly wouldn't do what I did as a young boy to protect myself from the pain.
I built an impenetrable wall around my feelings and emotions I wouldn't let anything out or in.
It took a very long time to dismantle enough of the wall to let stuff in and out.
It has left me a rather cold person and in other ways overly sensitive.
This doesn't really help you with your problem but what I do now is take emotion out of a situation and analyse it.
In most cases I find no logical reason to be upset by a thing I discard it and carry on with my life.
I hope this helps
I talk, a bit like I am now. I know bottling things up will fuck you up. Been there, done that.
This isn't a thing, it's a person I cannot escape, a person I'm tied to.
Ok break it down.
Why are you hurting?
Is it because what was said (or done) was unjustified?
If so can you (calmly) tell them how they've made you feel?
If not can you put it in a letter? Doesn't matter if you never send it, it just helps to put things down/vent in a safe way. Also helps put things in perspective.
Is it because they've touched a nerve? Is there an element of truth in what was said which has made you defensive?
If so, then own that. It's ok to be upset but it's also helpful to be able to see the other person's viewpoint.
Is it something which is within your power to fix?
You say this is a person you are tied to. If their behaviour is toxic you don't have to accept it. Limit your interaction with them to the bare minimum. Protect yourself.
Lots of stuff online about building resilience. Have a look.
Hug of support to you.
"
Exactly
I spent many years racing triathlons
Moving upto long distance event's such as ironman (2.4m swim 112 miles on the bike followed by a full marathon)
This is a mentally and physically demanding event.
During my preparation I had all sorts going through my head,one day following a training session I got chatting with a more experienced guy telling him about my worries regards the up and coming race.
( Bear with me)
He gave me some fantastic advice which I took onboard and not only used it for racing but as a life lesson.
Do not concern yourself with things that you can't change, be prepared for them but don't focus on things you can't alter.
Only focus on moving forward and taking control of things that you are in charge of, never go backwards only forward.
Do this and you will successfully reach the end of your own personal battle.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What do you do when you're hurting emotionally?
Do you have someone to turn to? Any coping mechanisms?
Just been treated pretty badly and the most awful thing said to me (Not Fab related) and I'm hoping one of you has a method that works.
I am usually strong and let it fall off me like water off a ducks back. Will most likley have to do so again, I'm just wondering how others cope. Whats your strategy?
I certainly wouldn't do what I did as a young boy to protect myself from the pain.
I built an impenetrable wall around my feelings and emotions I wouldn't let anything out or in.
It took a very long time to dismantle enough of the wall to let stuff in and out.
It has left me a rather cold person and in other ways overly sensitive.
This doesn't really help you with your problem but what I do now is take emotion out of a situation and analyse it.
In most cases I find no logical reason to be upset by a thing I discard it and carry on with my life.
I hope this helps
I talk, a bit like I am now. I know bottling things up will fuck you up. Been there, done that.
This isn't a thing, it's a person I cannot escape, a person I'm tied to.
Ok break it down.
Why are you hurting?
Is it because what was said (or done) was unjustified?
If so can you (calmly) tell them how they've made you feel?
If not can you put it in a letter? Doesn't matter if you never send it, it just helps to put things down/vent in a safe way. Also helps put things in perspective.
Is it because they've touched a nerve? Is there an element of truth in what was said which has made you defensive?
If so, then own that. It's ok to be upset but it's also helpful to be able to see the other person's viewpoint.
Is it something which is within your power to fix?
You say this is a person you are tied to. If their behaviour is toxic you don't have to accept it. Limit your interaction with them to the bare minimum. Protect yourself.
Lots of stuff online about building resilience. Have a look.
Hug of support to you.
Exactly
I spent many years racing triathlons
Moving upto long distance event's such as ironman (2.4m swim 112 miles on the bike followed by a full marathon)
This is a mentally and physically demanding event.
During my preparation I had all sorts going through my head,one day following a training session I got chatting with a more experienced guy telling him about my worries regards the up and coming race.
( Bear with me)
He gave me some fantastic advice which I took onboard and not only used it for racing but as a life lesson.
Do not concern yourself with things that you can't change, be prepared for them but don't focus on things you can't alter.
Only focus on moving forward and taking control of things that you are in charge of, never go backwards only forward.
Do this and you will successfully reach the end of your own personal battle.
"
Wise words.
Believe it or not, I actually feel a bit better. I was PMd by a nice man who offered to listen. So I told him exactly what happened. I knew doing so would make me feel better. Turns out my problems pale into almost insignificance compared to his.
It's not that that eases the pain, it's because someone stopped. Took time out there life and allowed me to vent. As I typed the pain lifted.
You've all taken time to give me a bit of positivity and I thank you for it xxx A special thank you to the guy whose ear I just chewed off, you know who are.
For all the bitchin' going on, Fab has some very beautiful people on it, inside and out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a veritable superstore of coping mechanisms, having suffered with generalised anxiety disorder and depression. When things get really bad, and I realise I am sinking big time, I see my GP and go back on meds, but I accept that this isn't for everyone.
I guess the ideal would be a loving and supportive partner to cuddle up with. But they are pretty thin on the ground! Plenty of wankers out there though!
I tend to hibernate if I can and try to be kind to myself until I'm less wobbly. I also try to get out - a walk by the sea is fantastic or through the woods.
I avoid like the plague, any situation involving the things I feel sad about as it will just make me feel worse. I guess we all have to find what works for us, and hang on tight until the storm passes. And it will.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I am a veritable superstore of coping mechanisms, having suffered with generalised anxiety disorder and depression. When things get really bad, and I realise I am sinking big time, I see my GP and go back on meds, but I accept that this isn't for everyone.
I guess the ideal would be a loving and supportive partner to cuddle up with. But they are pretty thin on the ground! Plenty of wankers out there though!
I tend to hibernate if I can and try to be kind to myself until I'm less wobbly. I also try to get out - a walk by the sea is fantastic or through the woods.
I avoid like the plague, any situation involving the things I feel sad about as it will just make me feel worse. I guess we all have to find what works for us, and hang on tight until the storm passes. And it will.
"
You sound like you've been through life's boxing ring for a few rounds xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A cousin of mine gets a tattoo done when ever she has been hurt emotionally, like after her grandparents died she got one, when she got dumped a week before Christmas with her 1 year old."
I'd have no skin left lmfao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really pleased to hear you are feeling a little more positive and have received some help.
Some great advice has been given and very wise words, which we can all use.
All I would add, for what it's worth, is that you can't change others' behaviour, only your own. So driving yourself crazy with thoughts of things you'd wish the other person would do or say, etc., will only do just that, drive you crazy. Take care of yourself xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Really pleased to hear you are feeling a little more positive and have received some help.
Some great advice has been given and very wise words, which we can all use.
All I would add, for what it's worth, is that you can't change others' behaviour, only your own. So driving yourself crazy with thoughts of things you'd wish the other person would do or say, etc., will only do just that, drive you crazy. Take care of yourself xx"
I'm quite good at coping, I'm one of those personality types that is quite social and quite naturally resilient to mental health issues. Though I have had two moments of madness in my life Quickly resolved through being able to talk to someone who made themself an emotionally available punching bag briefly. There reward is my undying friendship and me having their back when the time comes.
Friendship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found out that work can be really helpful. It can distract me completely. Unfortunately when I get back home and am alone with my head again I cry a lot.
And music is great too...or book, if you are able to concentrate enough on it instead of being fixed on what makes you feel down.
Good luck and cheer up OP
Kitten |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I found out that work can be really helpful. It can distract me completely. Unfortunately when I get back home and am alone with my head again I cry a lot.
And music is great too...or book, if you are able to concentrate enough on it instead of being fixed on what makes you feel down.
Good luck and cheer up OP
Kitten"
I'm cheered up now Bounced back Work does help. My boss is cool as fuck, as are the people I work with, it's fun  Can't believe I just said that, I must finally be turning into an adult Steady on!
I really feel the urge to ask you why you cry, but it's a forum and I don't want to put you on the spot so don't answer if you don't want to go into it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I act like I just don't care, even though I do, take on a role I always tell my brother that he is Michael Caine, and that he can deal with any situation as long as he acting
And sending you the biggest hug |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I act like I just don't care, even though I do, take on a role I always tell my brother that he is Michael Caine, and that he can deal with any situation as long as he acting
And sending you the biggest hug "
Look at that toon shirt.
Remember Northern Rock? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I act like I just don't care, even though I do, take on a role I always tell my brother that he is Michael Caine, and that he can deal with any situation as long as he acting
And sending you the biggest hug "
Hugging back
I'm not a fan of using acting to solve emotional issues myself. Sure it's great for summoning up enough courage to walk into a swingers club for the first time, or asking someone on a date.
Hiding your pain I'd say is probably the worst thing I've ever done. Sure, put on the cold face to some people, provided you've one or two friends who know the truth of things and who let you unload.
I tried to bottle up my sexuality feelings and my strange feelings post military tours. Both did me a bit of harm and stopped me being happy for a long time.
Please don't use the cold face x Be the real you and don't act x |
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Hope you are ok OP. Reading between the lines from this thread and one of yours I read earlier this week, I think I know who the person is (obviously not the exact situation). The only thing I can suggest is that you suggest they get counselling, then maybe they can let go too.
Depends on the hurt, but I hibernate when thing's aren't going well - literally won't come out of my room. It eventually gets better (or I get hungry!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I cry until it stops hurting, then get on with my life.
If I find myself thinking about whoever or whatever hurt me I find something to take my mind off it.
Crying can be incredibly therapeutic. "
Holding in hurt is worse I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
For all the bitchin' going on, Fab has some very beautiful people on it, inside and out."
In answer to your OP - the Fab people remind me that nice people do exist. Hope you're feeling better. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found out that work can be really helpful. It can distract me completely. Unfortunately when I get back home and am alone with my head again I cry a lot.
And music is great too...or book, if you are able to concentrate enough on it instead of being fixed on what makes you feel down.
Good luck and cheer up OP
Kitten
I'm cheered up now Bounced back Work does help. My boss is cool as fuck, as are the people I work with, it's fun Can't believe I just said that, I must finally be turning into an adult Steady on!
I really feel the urge to ask you why you cry, but it's a forum and I don't want to put you on the spot so don't answer if you don't want to go into it x"
I don't think many people will read this so I don't mind, but I don't really know how it started. I used to be such a happy person, but now I'm just unhappy, grumpy, anxious, emotional mess and I hate it  as someone mentioned above or maybe on a different thread today I just feel like everything what can go wrong in my life definitely end up that way, and I'm so tired of it.
Being curled up in Cute's arms used to help me to calm down, but we had some problems in our relationship recently which is still bothering me and even though he's trying really hard to be there for me it's not helping me to feel better right now
I just need to do baby steps to get out of it, eventually seek help if it became unbearable and enjoy the joys of being an adult
Thanks for involuntarily listening to my rant, I'm done now 
K |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hope you are ok OP. Reading between the lines from this thread and one of yours I read earlier this week, I think I know who the person is (obviously not the exact situation). The only thing I can suggest is that you suggest they get counselling, then maybe they can let go too.
Depends on the hurt, but I hibernate when thing's aren't going well - literally won't come out of my room. It eventually gets better (or I get hungry!)"
Oh I like you x You guess correctly.
I also suggested what you said at end of year one.. in a nice way during a quieter moment, it was ignored. This person has had an equally hard time of it again and suffered a different kind of loss. twice over.
Rather than lose my shit completely at what was said, I suggested it quietly again, once things had calmed a bit. No response. I ran to Fab to vent rather than cause more harm. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"...
For all the bitchin' going on, Fab has some very beautiful people on it, inside and out.
In answer to your OP - the Fab people remind me that nice people do exist. Hope you're feeling better. x"
I am much better now thanks x |
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"Hope you are ok OP. Reading between the lines from this thread and one of yours I read earlier this week, I think I know who the person is (obviously not the exact situation). The only thing I can suggest is that you suggest they get counselling, then maybe they can let go too.
Depends on the hurt, but I hibernate when thing's aren't going well - literally won't come out of my room. It eventually gets better (or I get hungry!)
Oh I like you x You guess correctly.
I also suggested what you said at end of year one.. in a nice way during a quieter moment, it was ignored. This person has had an equally hard time of it again and suffered a different kind of loss. twice over.
Rather than lose my shit completely at what was said, I suggested it quietly again, once things had calmed a bit. No response. I ran to Fab to vent rather than cause more harm."
Then you did good OP. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I found out that work can be really helpful. It can distract me completely. Unfortunately when I get back home and am alone with my head again I cry a lot.
And music is great too...or book, if you are able to concentrate enough on it instead of being fixed on what makes you feel down.
Good luck and cheer up OP
Kitten
I'm cheered up now Bounced back Work does help. My boss is cool as fuck, as are the people I work with, it's fun Can't believe I just said that, I must finally be turning into an adult Steady on!
I really feel the urge to ask you why you cry, but it's a forum and I don't want to put you on the spot so don't answer if you don't want to go into it x
I don't think many people will read this so I don't mind, but I don't really know how it started. I used to be such a happy person, but now I'm just unhappy, grumpy, anxious, emotional mess and I hate it as someone mentioned above or maybe on a different thread today I just feel like everything what can go wrong in my life definitely end up that way, and I'm so tired of it.
Being curled up in Cute's arms used to help me to calm down, but we had some problems in our relationship recently which is still bothering me and even though he's trying really hard to be there for me it's not helping me to feel better right now
I just need to do baby steps to get out of it, eventually seek help if it became unbearable and enjoy the joys of being an adult
Thanks for involuntarily listening to my rant, I'm done now
K"
I like your openess and honesty, do you feel better now you've said it to someone else?
It sounds very much like your crying is related to your relationship, given you're on a shared account I'm finding it hard to say what I normally would when hearing these kinds of things.
If there's a problem.in your relationship, I'm not sure he is the person you should be unloading to initially. Sure, as your partner he deserves to know how you're feeling. If you're unsure then you need time to find out, so all his care and attention may feel smothering? You may be better off unloading to someone kind, someone you trust. Talking it out can get it off and away from you so you can see things a bit clearer. Facing the cold, hard truth can be liberating and help you to turn one way or the other, rather than being lost in Limbo. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hope you are ok OP. Reading between the lines from this thread and one of yours I read earlier this week, I think I know who the person is (obviously not the exact situation). The only thing I can suggest is that you suggest they get counselling, then maybe they can let go too.
Depends on the hurt, but I hibernate when thing's aren't going well - literally won't come out of my room. It eventually gets better (or I get hungry!)
Oh I like you x You guess correctly.
I also suggested what you said at end of year one.. in a nice way during a quieter moment, it was ignored. This person has had an equally hard time of it again and suffered a different kind of loss. twice over.
Rather than lose my shit completely at what was said, I suggested it quietly again, once things had calmed a bit. No response. I ran to Fab to vent rather than cause more harm.
Then you did good OP."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x"
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime "
I save nice comments/ thoughts in a notes app. When I'm feeling shit I go read them.
A stranger giving me their parking ticket with money still on it. A mate giving me a compliment. A poster on here saying something random and nice.
You made me smile the other day so you're in there too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime "
As a random act of kindness, if your near my area I'd be happy to give you a massage (non sexual & qualified). Soon have you feeling a bit better. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I like your openess and honesty, do you feel better now you've said it to someone else?
It sounds very much like your crying is related to your relationship, given you're on a shared account I'm finding it hard to say what I normally would when hearing these kinds of things.
If there's a problem.in your relationship, I'm not sure he is the person you should be unloading to initially. Sure, as your partner he deserves to know how you're feeling. If you're unsure then you need time to find out, so all his care and attention may feel smothering? You may be better off unloading to someone kind, someone you trust. Talking it out can get it off and away from you so you can see things a bit clearer. Facing the cold, hard truth can be liberating and help you to turn one way or the other, rather than being lost in Limbo. "
It's strange, but yes, I feel better. Thank you
I guess I didn't explain it properly. I'm not sad because of my relationship. Yes, something happened(with a lot of alcohol present) which hurt me a lot, but I just need more time to get over it. I know he's not happy to see me this way either. We have a very loving and open relationship so he knows about all my feelings, that's why I don't have a problem to talk about it using our shared account. I know mistakes can happen, the most important thing is to not do them again. The only things I would never forgive him are cheating and abuse. And those didn't happen.
Back to the point...I've felt down for some time now and my relationship is not the reason...life is. Last year wasn't the best year of mine and I'm hoping for this one to be better.
Anyway thanks again for listening and have a nice evening.
K |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime
As a random act of kindness, if your near my area I'd be happy to give you a massage (non sexual & qualified). Soon have you feeling a bit better. x"
OMG! Full disclosure... A very kind man who hasn't commented sent me a very kind, non sexual PM and offered to listen, because he could see I was itching to offload, which is half of what my post was about. The other half genuinely inquisitive about other people's coping mechanisms. So my random act of kindness has already been fulfilled. I became happy again almost instantly.
Now you're spoiling me
If you mean it, then the offer is reciprocated. I'm not fully qualified, but I am good at it. I too would also remain professional at all tines
Having my back 'clicked' Would put me to bed instantaneously right now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime
As a random act of kindness, if your near my area I'd be happy to give you a massage (non sexual & qualified). Soon have you feeling a bit better. x
OMG! Full disclosure... A very kind man who hasn't commented sent me a very kind, non sexual PM and offered to listen, because he could see I was itching to offload, which is half of what my post was about. The other half genuinely inquisitive about other people's coping mechanisms. So my random act of kindness has already been fulfilled. I became happy again almost instantly.
Now you're spoiling me
If you mean it, then the offer is reciprocated. I'm not fully qualified, but I am good at it. I too would also remain professional at all tines
Having my back 'clicked' Would put me to bed instantaneously right now "
Lol I'm not the type of person to say something I don't mean. The offer is there if you would like it, don't want or need anything in return, helping someone is enough plus I know what it's like to be in a not so great place & not be able to get everything off your chest. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
I like your openess and honesty, do you feel better now you've said it to someone else?
It sounds very much like your crying is related to your relationship, given you're on a shared account I'm finding it hard to say what I normally would when hearing these kinds of things.
If there's a problem.in your relationship, I'm not sure he is the person you should be unloading to initially. Sure, as your partner he deserves to know how you're feeling. If you're unsure then you need time to find out, so all his care and attention may feel smothering? You may be better off unloading to someone kind, someone you trust. Talking it out can get it off and away from you so you can see things a bit clearer. Facing the cold, hard truth can be liberating and help you to turn one way or the other, rather than being lost in Limbo.
It's strange, but yes, I feel better. Thank you
I guess I didn't explain it properly. I'm not sad because of my relationship. Yes, something happened(with a lot of alcohol present) which hurt me a lot, but I just need more time to get over it. I know he's not happy to see me this way either. We have a very loving and open relationship so he knows about all my feelings, that's why I don't have a problem to talk about it using our shared account. I know mistakes can happen, the most important thing is to not do them again. The only things I would never forgive him are cheating and abuse. And those didn't happen.
Back to the point...I've felt down for some time now and my relationship is not the reason...life is. Last year wasn't the best year of mine and I'm hoping for this one to be better.
Anyway thanks again for listening and have a nice evening.
K"
As far as relationships with other people go, it's important to remember that we're all Human, we make mistakes. We are animals that run on instinct. Are easily influenced. Can be greedy, selfish and stupid. Some are Toxic, but there is a lot of good in most of us.
The most important thing is you though. It's your life and you only get one shot, no afterlife, one life, no fear and all that.
I'm glad writing it down and having it read and responded to helped you. This is partly why young un's express themselves all over the internet nowadays. Whittering on about their own unique mental health issues. I think it's why my Nan, Mum and Dad (old un's) tried to encourage me to write a diary (fat chance! ). It's liberating, except when you over share a tad too much |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Take time to look after you, I try to stay away from anything negative, meditate, chill, listen to music, do whatever helps you. Hope your feeling more like your self soon. x
That's what I do just to stay sane I need something stronger when I'm down. I need a random act of kindness from somewhere I'm not expecting it. Works everytime
As a random act of kindness, if your near my area I'd be happy to give you a massage (non sexual & qualified). Soon have you feeling a bit better. x
OMG! Full disclosure... A very kind man who hasn't commented sent me a very kind, non sexual PM and offered to listen, because he could see I was itching to offload, which is half of what my post was about. The other half genuinely inquisitive about other people's coping mechanisms. So my random act of kindness has already been fulfilled. I became happy again almost instantly.
Now you're spoiling me
If you mean it, then the offer is reciprocated. I'm not fully qualified, but I am good at it. I too would also remain professional at all tines
Having my back 'clicked' Would put me to bed instantaneously right now
Lol I'm not the type of person to say something I don't mean. The offer is there if you would like it, don't want or need anything in return, helping someone is enough plus I know what it's like to be in a not so great place & not be able to get everything off your chest. x"
If there was a heart emoji I'd send it to you. My offer is genuine as well then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Seek professional help maybe.
I prefer amateur help, results are far more entertaining 
We noticed, nothing like a bit of drama. "
Ooh I've rattled your cage so badly you're following me around. Weird. |
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"Seek professional help maybe.
I prefer amateur help, results are far more entertaining
We noticed, nothing like a bit of drama.
Ooh I've rattled your cage so badly you're following me around. Weird."
No you just seem to be on every thread, don't get paranoid dear.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seek professional help maybe.
I prefer amateur help, results are far more entertaining
We noticed, nothing like a bit of drama.
Ooh I've rattled your cage so badly you're following me around. Weird.
No you just seem to be on every thread, don't get paranoid dear. "
Hardly. Just a few bisexual ones. Or ones I've started. I'm not being paranoid though am I Daaaaaaaaaaaaarling because that's the third dirty little pop you've had at me in a row on two different threads. |
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"Seek professional help maybe.
I prefer amateur help, results are far more entertaining
We noticed, nothing like a bit of drama.
Ooh I've rattled your cage so badly you're following me around. Weird.
No you just seem to be on every thread, don't get paranoid dear.
Hardly. Just a few bisexual ones. Or ones I've started. I'm not being paranoid though am I Daaaaaaaaaaaaarling because that's the third dirty little pop you've had at me in a row on two different threads. "
Just because your paranoid it doesn't mean they're not all out to get you.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Seek professional help maybe.
I prefer amateur help, results are far more entertaining
We noticed, nothing like a bit of drama.
Ooh I've rattled your cage so badly you're following me around. Weird.
No you just seem to be on every thread, don't get paranoid dear.
Hardly. Just a few bisexual ones. Or ones I've started. I'm not being paranoid though am I Daaaaaaaaaaaaarling because that's the third dirty little pop you've had at me in a row on two different threads.
Just because your paranoid it doesn't mean they're not all out to get you. "
No, i guess you're right. It could mean they could just be 'orrible cunts. |
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