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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I specifically refer to no replies in my profile. Not being rude, just can't always keep up with messages."
Maybe women must just get bombarded with msg's then. Ok my bad |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not to mention the abuse and names you get called from some immature guys that don't take rejection well!"
Well some men must be proper arseholes then manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not to mention the abuse and names you get called from some immature guys that don't take rejection well!
Well some men must be proper arseholes then manners cost nothing"
Aye you got that one right xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i just got blocked for this despite my profile saying "please dont be offended if i dont reply just not my type". i think this proves that not everyone reads profiles.
i just thought ok and deleted message he sent. no big deal i will get other message from nice people on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ?????  "
It may be, because if you reply to someone, even with a simple no thanks, it gets round the filters and they are then free to message you in future.
Unless you block them, it doesn't negate that. |
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"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? "
If for instance after reading my profile you send me willy pics .. I clearly state i will not reply.
one liners why should I bother.No thought goes into saying Hi ....I reply to most but I prefer a little thought goes into a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find if i do mail people back saying no ......... thay just keep mailing asking why .... and some go into saying am i not nice and all sorts and i dont like to be nasty as could be lovely people just no for me .  |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
We ask for people to read our profile. If by looking at theirs we see something or read something that falls out of the requirements we aim for they will not be replied to.
You have to understand that some members on here are continiously receiving messages and it is nigh on impossible to deal with them and winks.
We relaxed our filters recently and got loads it is time consuming dealing with and replying to those that interest.
Not a moan just a fact. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? "
again what is the difference between someone not getting back to you, and someone saying no thanks..... in the end its the same result...
and why would you want to then open a dialouge will someone you don't want any contact with...... |
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By *ustpartyCouple
over a year ago
Blackwater |
We have a rule that we reply to everyone who has taken the time to message us. Saying that, we live in an area where swingers are few and far between so we have never been bombarded.
We can imagine that women on here do get bombarded with mails and cannot possibly reply to all. Would hate to be a single guy on this site. It must be so demoralizing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone has read my profile and sent me a decent message with the attatched photo then i do reply. Otherwise i dont"
same here if a guy mails me and they fit what i have stated i am looking for and have sent a pic i will reply even if its a no thanks, but that isnt many to be honest, most mail me asking if they can come here, are out of my age range, im out of their age range, they have wont meet somkers on their profile, couples, live other side of the country etc i dont reply to them, i have on my profile what im looking for if they cant be bothered to read it then i cant be bothered to reply and i dont see that as rude unless you class them as rude for mailing me in the first place when they arnt what ive stated im looking for  |
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Something i am guilty of is reading a mail, being interested in the person. Leave it so i can think of a proper reply to send back and then forgetting all about it. Ive done this quite a few times. A guy i met recently and tickd all my boxes said to me afterwards that he had messaged me in the past and had left it a while before attempting again. All i can say is im glad he tried again lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i like the ones who mail you and because you dont read the message and reply straight away when you do go to mail them they have blocked you, dont bother me unless they dishy  |
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By *ustpartyCouple
over a year ago
Blackwater |
"i like the ones who mail you and because you dont read the message and reply straight away when you do go to mail them they have blocked you, dont bother me unless they dishy "
A while a go someone said on here, if someone doesn't reply just block them. Looks like that advice has backfired on some. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Assuming that it is someone I'm not interested in persuing a further chat with, I always try to reply with a polite thanks but no thanks ,provided they have sent a polite and thoughtful message in the first place. I don't reply to people who obviously haven't read my profile, who have only written one line (eg 'fancy a bit of phone sex darlin', or 'nice tits') or who have written in text speak (because I can't read it, it makes my eyes bleed).
Nine times out of ten, I get a message back, thanking me for my reply and commenting how refreshing it is to get a response, even if it is just a 'no'.
I'm with the OP on this. Manner's really do cost nothing and make all the difference. |
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"Assuming that it is someone I'm not interested in persuing a further chat with, I always try to reply with a polite thanks but no thanks ,provided they have sent a polite and thoughtful message in the first place. I don't reply to people who obviously haven't read my profile, who have only written one line (eg 'fancy a bit of phone sex darlin', or 'nice tits') or who have written in text speak (because I can't read it, it makes my eyes bleed).
Nine times out of ten, I get a message back, thanking me for my reply and commenting how refreshing it is to get a response, even if it is just a 'no'.
I'm with the OP on this. Manner's really do cost nothing and make all the difference."
WHy is it bad manners to not reply to unsolicited material, do you reply to every bit of junk mail that comes through your door, if not how hypocritical! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"WHy is it bad manners to not reply to unsolicited material, do you reply to every bit of junk mail that comes through your door, if not how hypocritical!"
One could argue that by being on this site and advertising for people to have sex with, by definition, messages from people answering said advertisement is not unsolicited material. Of course I don't reply to junk mail - I don't reply to the equivalent of junk mail on Fab either (those spam-style messages from people who blatantly don't read profiles but just cast out a line to all and sundry, hoping for a bite). However, to ignore messages from people who have read my profile and believe that they may be what I am looking for - that ,to me, feels like poor manners. I accept that others may think differently and that is their prerogative, but for me not to respond would feel rude. |
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"WHy is it bad manners to not reply to unsolicited material, do you reply to every bit of junk mail that comes through your door, if not how hypocritical!
One could argue that by being on this site and advertising for people to have sex with, by definition, messages from people answering said advertisement is not unsolicited material. Of course I don't reply to junk mail - I don't reply to the equivalent of junk mail on Fab either (those spam-style messages from people who blatantly don't read profiles but just cast out a line to all and sundry, hoping for a bite). However, to ignore messages from people who have read my profile and believe that they may be what I am looking for - that ,to me, feels like poor manners. I accept that others may think differently and that is their prerogative, but for me not to respond would feel rude."
A much more balanced reply...to you that would feel rude.
i actually do the same, blatant cut and paste get binned, as do men asking if i fancy a fuck, meet alone or looking for a fellow adulterer...
A proper message gets a proper reply...normally saying ty for the proper reply. However you are wrong by saying being on here means you are advertising for sex, people are on here for all sorts of reasons, and looking for all sorts of things. The mail is unsolicited unless you have a meet request up. In tht circumstance anyone sensible would ensure they met the meet criteria and thus get a reply.
However as others have said OP a no reply means no thank you. What no one who has started one of these threads can ever tell me is why they want a message saying no.
This has led to Auntie Jems patented theory of swining male entitlement, part iv.
This states that the no reply whinge is put forward by men who really cant believe it is a no thanks, after all it is a swinging site and therefore full of people gagging for it. So they think some evil and malevolent forces are keeping their replies from them, rather than accepting no reply means not interested. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? "
oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1 "
show me ur boobs  |
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By *ustpartyCouple
over a year ago
Blackwater |
Boils down to what feels worse, being rejected or being ignored.
If said interaction was face to face in a club, you can say no and often have to, but if you ignore them and don't reply, is that not considered rude? Just because you are online doesn't make it any less rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1 "
 it's ok. I understand you won't meet me but hey, let's chat.........5 one sentence emails later..." So you wanna meet up for a drink?".... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1
show me ur boobs il show you my boobs if you will let me shave ya balls  "
NO DEAL!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because nine out of ten times, when I do reply with a simple no thanks I then get another message asking why, or suggesting a reason I should say yes, gets right on my tits to be honest.
So new question, why do so many men not just accept a no thanks?? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1
it's ok. I understand you won't meet me but hey, let's chat.........5 one sentence emails later..." So you wanna meet up for a drink?"...."
As you asked so nicely....no bugger off!!! lol....  |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1
show me ur boobs il show you my boobs if you will let me shave ya balls
NO DEAL! "
How about i shave you balls whilst topless?...ya know ya wanna...got my cut-throat here...all shiny and pretty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why can't people just reply with a simple no thanks ????? oh christ....cuz we dont feel like it, cuz i got outta bed the wrong side, god in his heaven if your ego is that fragile what the hell you doing on a swingers site? In answer to your question....i cant be arsed to write no thanks in return id get, why? But im nice , but ive read your profile etc......its boring!!!1
show me ur boobs il show you my boobs if you will let me shave ya balls
NO DEAL! How about i shave you balls whilst topless?...ya know ya wanna...got my cut-throat here...all shiny and pretty "
i only want a trim while topless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because nine out of ten times, when I do reply with a simple no thanks I then get another message asking why, or suggesting a reason I should say yes, gets right on my tits to be honest.
So new question, why do so many men not just accept a no thanks??"
As I said before, I try to reply to people. Usually I get a polite reply back thanking me for my response. The few who reply with a whining 'but whyyyyy' etc just get binned, and if they carry on, blocked. If they can't accept a straight no, then I have no compunction about ignoring them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Out of 7 messages today I replied to one because we have been chatting for a while, I replied 'sorry no thanks' to another as I am not interested but he wrote me a nice email and I deleted the other 5 as the messages were under 5 words long and mostly consisted of 'hi there' or 'wanna chat'. No effort on their part gets no effort on my part! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One could argue that by being on this site and advertising for people to have sex with, by definition, messages from people answering said advertisement is not unsolicited material."
Are you for real? I never thought another single fem would make me feel so cheap for leading a liberated adult life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't reply if people are not what I'm looking for. Not even with a no thanks as I believe it results in continued communication.
However those that do reply should do so with a polite no thanks. From speaking to single males this seems not always to be the case. People don't always just leave it as no thanks, they add in extras like 'no fucking way, you are so ugly', get lost you munter', I'd never meet you with pics like those'. That is rude.
Personally I believe the no reply stops further abuse or the need to abuse for no reason other than to exert perceived power |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One could argue that by being on this site and advertising for people to have sex with, by definition, messages from people answering said advertisement is not unsolicited material.
Are you for real? I never thought another single fem would make me feel so cheap for leading a liberated adult life. "
I didn't intend to make anyone feel cheap. I lead the same liberated adult life, after all. I was merely debating a point, not making accusations or saying that wanting sex with others was wrong in any way. If what I said makes you feel cheap because of my choice of words, that isn't my fault. The fact is, a large proportion of the people on this site want sex with other people and are actively seeking people with whom to do exactly that. A profile stating what you are seeking basically amounts to an advertisement, in my _iew. If that sounds too blunt and you'd rather dress it up in different words, then fair enough. That's your choice. Me, I just say it as I see it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i just got blocked for this despite my profile saying "please dont be offended if i dont reply just not my type". i think this proves that not everyone reads profiles.
i just thought ok and deleted message he sent. no big deal i will get other message from nice people on here."
Nothing wrong in being blocked. Perhaps he blocked to prevent himself sending you another message & wasting both his & your time ? |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
If you search the forum previous threads will give you all the answers..
Question for you OP.
What benefit do you get from a thanks but no thanks message ( how very polite, but still no thanks) does it get you the meet you were looking for, ? or Does it mean that whilst your reading these no thanks messages you re not messaging the person who does want to meet you,? in that short time some smooth talking guy ( hopefully me) is in before you, arranging the meeting , having your fun, ....cheers mister.. you keep waiting for the no thanks messages,... I'm far more interested in the let's meet messages..  |
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