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Dont get married within a year.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday over a coffee and a bun, as sometimes many do that mistake and it doesnt work out, should there be a waiting time of just being together few years first to find out more about the person, whats your view? |
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Some have waited years happy happy and got married in things changed and not happy happy. So I guess it's really upto those two people.
I've never married myself only from friends side's of being married.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is different. I know people who were together years before marrying and they’ve split now and vice versa.
If we could see into the future then we could all make great decisions. You can only do what you feel at the time. Your marriage is what you both put into it. It works amazingly for some and for others completely falls apart. |
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday over a coffee and a bun, as sometimes many do that mistake and it doesnt work out, should there be a waiting time of just being together few years first to find out more about the person, whats your view?"
utter rubbish. It’s down to the individuals to decide what they want to do, as consenting adults.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had an interesting discussion .... "
Op. You surprise me.  
I do believe lots jump into marriage. Not just because of the short time they are together either. But I agree, less than a year is not a long time to get to know someone inside and out. But, I also believe in love at first sight too. So how long do you leave it until you commit to each other when you know they are the one?
Mine - together for 23 yrs engaged for 6yrs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No this wouldn’t work and smacks of a controlling society.
For one thing a couple who have been together for 6 months might be more in love than a couple together 6 years.
What about pregnancy, would you limit this as well couples who have known each other for a year.
Would you be in favour of something similar for divorces too?
What about arranged marriages?
I think ultimately people need to decide in themselves. |
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In my mid to late 20's a lot of my friends got married, and barely any of them are still with that partner any more. People do rush into it during that honeymoon period in the early part of a relationship. But hey, it's their expensive mistake to make  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you know you know so you decide between you, sadly things happen over a period of time which can impact on where you end up, it's purely up to the individual people to decide. |
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Marriage is only the contract that legalises a partnership. A break up is a break up regardless of how long you've been together.
I think people should have more care before they get into any form of long term relationship. Talk about what they want long term , their non negotiable requirements etc before things get serious. It might not be very romantic but neither is selling houses and dividing possessions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s all down to the individuals, and for the most part their reasons for wanting the marriage. If done for selfish reasons then it will never last. A few friends have had a whirlwind start to their relationship and are still happy together, others it didn’t work out for. It goes the same for those that waited a few years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mum and dad met on New Year’s Eve, then he went back to Germany (he was in the army). He came back on Valentine’s Day, got my mum to send me to the car and I wondered back into the house with a ring and my dad text her saying ‘I’m not coming back until you say yes’ and she replied back ‘yes for fuck sake’. He then stayed a few days and then went back to Germany. He came back in August for the wedding
That was sixteen years ago. Still together and had two kids together! |
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Op there is no set in stone way, it's what works for each couple..
And if there is any evidence that what you are suggesting then pray share..?
35yr anniversary in May and we wed within a year..
Which having said that only means that for us that's how it is, all relationships especially long term need work etc..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all down to the individuals, and for the most part their reasons for wanting the marriage. If done for selfish reasons then it will never last. A few friends have had a whirlwind start to their relationship and are still happy together, others it didn’t work out for. It goes the same for those that waited a few years. "
People keep a marriage relevant, not time.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had an interesting discussion about it yesterday over a coffee and a bun, as sometimes many do that mistake and it doesnt work out, should there be a waiting time of just being together few years first to find out more about the person, whats your view?"
My view is don't become a marriage guidance councellor |
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Different strokes for different folks.
I was sure within a year that I'd marry Wade. Our ages were the only off-putting thing really. Felt too young to be married at 19 and 21 but no doubt that he was who I wanted to spend my life with. In the end it had been 2.5 years when we actually tied the knot 
V x |
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I've managed to go forty-odd years without meeting anyone I want to marry but by the same token, if I did meet someone I wanted to put a ring on, I'd know within the first few months if not sooner. |
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"My mum and dad met and married within 5 weeks!
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The very last true generation that take there vows seriously , I did and just because it’s not as fun as it was a marriage is constant work of change with horrible and amazing times and that boring bit in the middle |
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My personal advice to couples would be to live together for a couple of years before you get married, you never really know someone until you've lived together.
Making it a legal requirement though is a whole other ball game, no organisation can possibly know more about two individuals feelings than they do.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mum and dad met and married within 5 weeks!
The very last true generation that take there vows seriously , I did and just because it’s not as fun as it was a marriage is constant work of change with horrible and amazing times and that boring bit in the middle "
I didn't say it was successful marriage! |
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