I hope you don't mind but I've just come from an awesome bareback party, so just hold your nose when going down there... Stank like old glue when I pissed.

They are not crabs!!!! My nits have just gone south for the winter.

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By *ettyboob72Woman over a year ago

Manningtree

can we be quick, I've only put 2 hours on the parking metre

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant...."

Oh yeah, that too

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keep it down you lot, it’s the wife on the phone.

“Hi love”

“Just in the pub with a few work mates”

“Of course. Love you too. Bye bye”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow you look just like your mum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I brought the kids but they’re real quiet. "
cannot you just leave them at home with their dad?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

36? Christ. Where was your paper round? Beirut?

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By *ettyboob72Woman over a year ago

Manningtree

"I brought the kids but they’re real quiet. cannot you just leave them at home with their dad?

"
he's being held at Queenie pleasure at the moment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Du u mind if i wank under this table

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I brought the kids but they’re real quiet. cannot you just leave them at home with their dad?

he's being held at Queenie pleasure at the moment"
Okay just leave them home alone they will be okay for a day or so

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would you like me to escort you home?"

"No, I'll be fine."

(When I couldn't wait to finish my small drink to run away from this weirdo

)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So this isn’t the annual meeting for tinned foods appreciation society is it then?

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By *ix-foot-two-stuMan over a year ago

Coventry

Yeah, I’ll have a pint of... what’s the strongest lager they’ve got? Oh and a double vodka chaser, ta. So no, I have to use public transport everywhere, now. But at least AA is walking distance. It don’t work for everyone, you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Let us have a moment in prayer whilst we wait for Sister Mary and Father George

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By *ix-foot-two-stuMan over a year ago

Coventry

"Let us have a moment in prayer whilst we wait for Sister Mary and Father George

Some funny replies, but this is my fave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Keep it down you lot, it’s the wife on the phone.

“Hi love”

“Just in the pub with a few work mates”

“Of course. Love you too. Bye bye”

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Which way did you vote on Brexit?

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By *ay rickMan over a year ago

cardiff

The best way to sharpen a knife isssss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant....

Oh yeah, that too

Mrs"

Its true I have

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant....

Oh yeah, that too

Mrs

Its true I have

So have I. Guess can't get you pregnant either

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant....

Oh yeah, that too

Mrs

Its true I have

So have I. Guess can't get you pregnant either

Mrs"

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

So when does the singing start?

Oh... SWINGers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh yeah, I love my job at Sydney Un...eh

...I mean Tesco, I work in Tesco

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I haven’t been on a social since I got out of prison for murder

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By *ebjonnsonMan over a year ago

Maldon

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant...."

I’ve had the snip. But don’t worry, it still tastes the same.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you buying?

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By *viatrixWoman over a year ago

Redhill

Can we go to mine now?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve had the snip, so no worries about getting you pregnant....

I’ve had the snip. But don’t worry, it still tastes the same."

I don’t think that’s a bad thing

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"FUCK ! Your ugly "

But taken from behind I won't be able to tell

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By *orkspoonMan over a year ago

nearby

"Oh yeah, I love my job at Sydney Un...eh

...I mean Tesco, I work in Tesco

Perfect!

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By *orkspoonMan over a year ago

nearby

I'll need to go soon, otherwise my tag goes off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"FUCK ! Your ugly

But taken from behind I won't be able to tell"
aah cunning plan lol .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've got AIDS

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m a widower, she died last month

Sad but true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

see you still got cum in your hair

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It only oozes if you squeeze it !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven’t been on a social since I got out of prison for murder "

Oh thats understandable. I only got my certificate of sanity last week. Can you believe it took me 8 years to get it!!

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By *andare63Man over a year ago

oldham

"I work for the Sun newspaper as a undercover reporter !my response to this will be,haha, good for you"

The OP wasn’t asking for your response ,, doh !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can’t stay to long , the misses is waiting on double yellows ......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me and my mum have been to see your parents.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're not the sort of person I usually go for.

Does this look infected to you?

"start crying"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Does anyone know your here.....

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