FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How often do you get messaged by lurkers?
How often do you get messaged by lurkers?
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Tbh... From most threads I post on.
I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.
But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block |
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"Tbh... From most threads I post on.
I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.
But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block just tried to wind u up but im too cheap to bypass your filters  "
Urmmmm!?
It wouldn't wind me up
You're a regulate poster, I've met you.
It's total random strangers that send idiotic messages that do that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tbh... From most threads I post on.
I have absolutely no problem with being messaged by someone who has posted on that thread, maybe someone I've quoted, or quoted me, answered questions or would like advice.
But when it's from someone who hasn't contributed, or someone I've ever spotted on here before, I find it quite cheeky, creepy & it just gets them an instant block just tried to wind u up but im too cheap to bypass your filters
Urmmmm!?
It wouldn't wind me up
You're a regulate poster, I've met you.
It's total random strangers that send idiotic messages that do that "
i was gonna pretend i was someone else maybe do a dutch accent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you know they are lurker's if they don't post in the forums ?"
From what they refer to, the heading on a message or they mention the post directly |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Occasionally.
More frequent though are messages from those who have posed a question or sought advice in the forums.
Usually with content they could just as easily have asked in the same thread........
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?"
Sadly the forum is and always has been full of a them and us mentality. |
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Never. In fact I've only received one communication on here that I didn't initiate, and it was from some bloke trying to chat me up when my profile clearly states I'm not looking for that. I'd love it if more people did open up a conversation with me. I know my profile is a little light on photos but idk if I come across as boring or something... |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"It’s weird why they don’t comment on the thread but feel the need to PM you directly. "
I have asked a few times and have been told it’s because they just want to message me and tell me something about myself (I’m not going to say what) or let me know that they have whatever I said I prefered. Or they want me to send them a picture of my face without joining in the thread. There’s more chance of getting a message read if it’s come via a post on a thread. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?"
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead."
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum. "
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead."
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention."
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario."
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several. "
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win "
Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.
It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?
I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several. "
I don't understand because you started this saying the forums are dying on their ass and now you're saying people should post less so they don't get personal responses!!
It doesn't bother me if someone messages me as a result of something I've put on the forum as long as it is respectful and not abusive.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
I don't understand because you started this saying the forums are dying on their ass and now you're saying people should post less so they don't get personal responses!!
It doesn't bother me if someone messages me as a result of something I've put on the forum as long as it is respectful and not abusive.
"
I think you’ll find I did not say the forums are dying on their ass.
Someone called Hine did. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win
Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.
It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?
I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged. "
Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.
Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win
Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.
It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?
I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged.
Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.
Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it."
I’m not trying to make it sound like anything, I’m simply posting my opinion as are you, It’s not wise to assume you know what I’m trying to say.
You are free to do as you please with your profile as is everyone else.
Personally if I didn’t like recieving private messages after posting on the forum, I’d either post less or tighten up my filters, because it isn't going to stop by blocking, unless it’s the same members doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win
Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.
It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?
I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged.
Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.
Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it.
I’m not trying to make it sound like anything, I’m simply posting my opinion as are you, It’s not wise to assume you know what I’m trying to say.
You are free to do as you please with your profile as is everyone else.
Personally if I didn’t like recieving private messages after posting on the forum, I’d either post less or tighten up my filters, because it isn't going to stop by blocking, unless it’s the same members doing it. "
So we can both agree there is no perfect solution, correct? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum.
Or they can just block them for being cheeky instead.
They can.
But for them to do that, they’d have to receive the cheeky message first.
So it isn’t a prevention.
I don't see where you're going with this? The sender doesn't achieve anything in this scenario.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m simply replying to the thread.
In your opinion the sender doesn’t achieve anything but my guess is, the senders think they do, hence why they send the message.
If it bothers some to an extent it is affecting their Fab experience, maybe they should post less on the forums. That would prevent the private responses if they are getting several.
Or they can just keep blocking them. I don't see why should one post less because they're being pestered by unwanted messages. That's like giving them a win
Because by posting less they prevent the messages they have an issue with.
It’s not a game so it’s not a win lose situation. Surely we all want our Fab experience to be pleasant? So what is wrong with putting in factors to make it more pleasant?
I do not want to be messaged by single males, so I block them all. If I were being messaged privately after posting on the forum and I did not like it (I personally do not mind) I would just post less, or try and get used to the fact that the more I post, the more I’m going to be privately messaged.
Yes but if posting less is also making my fab experience worse I would rather block lurkers than post less.
Like I said I personally don't mind. But you're trying to make it sound like I'm advocating for them to not do it.
I’m not trying to make it sound like anything, I’m simply posting my opinion as are you, It’s not wise to assume you know what I’m trying to say.
You are free to do as you please with your profile as is everyone else.
Personally if I didn’t like recieving private messages after posting on the forum, I’d either post less or tighten up my filters, because it isn't going to stop by blocking, unless it’s the same members doing it.
So we can both agree there is no perfect solution, correct?"
Certainly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps the "lurkers" stay lurkers because of the tone of threads like this.
The forums have been dying on their arse for a long time now. If we dismiss others as lurkers just how inviting are we being to those who may otherwise one day become contributors to the forums?
Forums are public, if you're bypassing that and just sending PM's because you want to take the conversation private at least ask the person in the thread first. No harm done in asking.
If you think forums are nasty, sure they will be for some, not for others but at the end of the day don't let what others say affect you personally.
I personally don't mind it, but if you're going to try and start an argument in PM's, block me instead.
The forums are public, as you said, which means anyone can read and choose to comment publicly or privately.
If someone has an issue with someone responding privately to a forum post for whatever reason, maybe they shouldn’t post on a public forum. "
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