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Open Relationships....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's a " Open Relationship" does that mean your partner can fuck who they want, and return to you saying they love you, seems like married life to me, cheating, disrespect, what's really happening, is your partner is fed up of you, but don't want to leave you, in the meantime I'll get sex elsewhere, but still remain with you.
Omg, and don't tell me you trust your partner, get the impression your " Weak in your " relationship". On the other hand I could be wrong, relationship could becomes stronger, is this the case. This is a Forum discussion. So don't take offence......   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like your grenade throwing skills. Comments like that on a swinging site, you're brave!
Each relationship is different and I imagine the rules and limits are discussed and agreed beforehand rather than a "fuck who you want" kinda approach. Well, in the successful relationships anyway. |
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It can mean different things to different people Wikipedia gives the usual definition. Note the last sentance.
"An open relationship is an intimate relationship which is consensually non-monogamous. This term may sometimes refer to polyamory, but it is often used to signify a primary emotional and intimate relationship between two partners who agree to have sexual relationships but not romantic relationships with other people. The nature of the openness in the relationship, including what outside sexual contact is permissible, varies widely." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in an open marriage. My husband has absolutely no interest playing with anyone else, and I trust him 100% and I have never doubted that for a second. August 2017 we had a chat and he confessed the thought of me fucking someone else is a turn on
So the whole first paragraph of your post is rubbish IMO |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Your OP is certainly worded in a rather interesting way as the opener for a discussion...
I was in an open relationship for 2 years and it was great, there wasn't any mistrust or disrespect as you put it, just an awareness that we enjoyed sex with other people as well as each other.
It does require you to be solid in your relationship though, to communicate your needs effectively and clearly, to listen and be heard. It shouldn't be a case that your partner isn't enough for you, if that's the case then the relationship won't work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go at it as and when we want. There always a veto and either of us can call a halt to the process when we like.
OP you seem to see relationships in terms of power, which is why you don’t get the way other people sometimes work. |
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You've opened a discussion and effectively shut it down immediately.
Its not a great idea to speculate about other people's relationships unless they invite you to comment. People have speculated negatively on ours, they're always incorrect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open relationship requires trust,respect and 100% honesty. Veto list and set guidelines that work for both partners. If anything it makes the bond between the individuals deeper as there is an understanding and no need to lie to the other. Cheating to me is not about the act of sex but betrayal and lies.
We aren't in an open relationship as such but we are both able to play as and when we want. For us playing is restricted to clubs only as it's easier to pigeon hole it. We did both have private meets in the past but its not for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Open relationship requires trust,respect and 100% honesty. Veto list and set guidelines that work for both partners. If anything it makes the bond between the individuals deeper as there is an understanding and no need to lie to the other. Cheating to me is not about the act of sex but betrayal and lies.
We aren't in an open relationship as such but we are both able to play as and when we want. For us playing is restricted to clubs only as it's easier to pigeon hole it. We did both have private meets in the past but its not for us."
Very well said indeed, thank you - I failed to put it better myself. Also, snap. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a " Open Relationship" does that mean your partner can fuck who they want, and return to you saying they love you, seems like married life to me, cheating, disrespect, what's really happening, is your partner is fed up of you, but don't want to leave you, in the meantime I'll get sex elsewhere, but still remain with you.
Omg, and don't tell me you trust your partner, get the impression your " Weak in your " relationship". On the other hand I could be wrong, relationship could becomes stronger, is this the case. This is a Forum discussion. So don't take offence...... "
I'm wondering if the OP has experienced an open relationship... Have you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When you have been with a partner for years sometimes you both need to play with others to enliven your relationship, it doesn't mean you don't love your partner quite the opposite actually but if you are a jealous person it probably won't work. |
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"To me , Polyamory is totally wrong!
It should be Polyaphilia or Multiamory .....
Mixing Greek and Latin roots is simply unacceptable.
Do you have the same issue with Television? "
or even homosexual and heterosexual? |
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"To me , Polyamory is totally wrong!
It should be Polyaphilia or Multiamory .....
Mixing Greek and Latin roots is simply unacceptable.
Do you have the same issue with Television? "
not as much as I do with automobile ! |
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"To me , Polyamory is totally wrong!
It should be Polyaphilia or Multiamory .....
Mixing Greek and Latin roots is simply unacceptable.
Do you have the same issue with Television?
or even homosexual and heterosexual?"
Those are just a-moral  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh ffs.
An open relationship to me is about honesty. Not just being able to fuck anyone you want.
But still, allowing to feel free to explore life is wonderful without the bounds of fearing that you would lose the love of your partner. No? |
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"Oh ffs.
An open relationship to me is about honesty. Not just being able to fuck anyone you want.
But still, allowing to feel free to explore life is wonderful without the bounds of fearing that you would lose the love of your partner. No?"
I'd say yes ...... but answer me this ... |
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Quote ish ....... Allowing the freedom to explore this wonderful life without feeling that you might lose the love of your partner........ Unquote ish.
What is one partner gets more sex than the other and the sex isn't the problem but the number of times they are away at it and leaving their partner on their own doing other things is... what then ? |
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I think I'd be up for an open relationship as long as its built on a strong foundation of trust and honesty. As others have said, betos and good communication are what makes them work. Ultimately I would want to come first so if I asked them not to meet someone or on a particular date I'd want them to cancel and if offer the same in return.
Apply within lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quote ish ....... Allowing the freedom to explore this wonderful life without feeling that you might lose the love of your partner........ Unquote ish.
What is one partner gets more sex than the other and the sex isn't the problem but the number of times they are away at it and leaving their partner on their own doing other things is... what then ?"
Is this relationship a competition? I don’t see my wife as my opponent. If a relationship is measured as who’s doing more, and that someone feels left alone, they need to look at why they think that. And talk it through.
*im not a councillor, just my opinion and it means nothing.
My wife is my partner, not my opponent in a game. |
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Maybe I didn't illuminate my point clearly .......
NO. It's not a competition. I didn't mean that someone would whine that their partner had had six shags whilst they'd had five ........
I meant.........
What about the LONLINESS of the other IF their partner was with others very frequently.
What about the needs of the neglected partner who is not getting any or much ?
What about the neglected relationship or home ?
In a round about way I am saying that whether relationships are sexually open or not .... we are bound to others in different ways and this in turn limits our freedom to fuck willy nilly. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Quote ish ....... Allowing the freedom to explore this wonderful life without feeling that you might lose the love of your partner........ Unquote ish.
What is one partner gets more sex than the other and the sex isn't the problem but the number of times they are away at it and leaving their partner on their own doing other things is... what then ?"
It's then that communication is required. I don't see it as a competition but if frequency becomes a problem then it needs to be addressed and discussed.
If one partner has an issue then to my mind you both need to address it and discuss, maybe this is part of why healthy open relationships are so strong; because feelings are communicated frequently and openly |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Maybe I didn't illuminate my point clearly .......
NO. It's not a competition. I didn't mean that someone would whine that their partner had had six shags whilst they'd had five ........
I meant.........
What about the LONLINESS of the other IF their partner was with others very frequently.
What about the needs of the neglected partner who is not getting any or much ?
What about the neglected relationship or home ?
In a round about way I am saying that whether relationships are sexually open or not .... we are bound to others in different ways and this in turn limits our freedom to fuck willy nilly."
If that's the case then do they feel the same when the other partner is at work or out with friends? Surely partners are independent creatures capable of occupying their time on their own for an evening? |
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"Maybe I didn't illuminate my point clearly .......
NO. It's not a competition. I didn't mean that someone would whine that their partner had had six shags whilst they'd had five ........
I meant.........
What about the LONLINESS of the other IF their partner was with others very frequently.
What about the needs of the neglected partner who is not getting any or much ?
What about the neglected relationship or home ?
In a round about way I am saying that whether relationships are sexually open or not .... we are bound to others in different ways and this in turn limits our freedom to fuck willy nilly.
If that's the case then do they feel the same when the other partner is at work or out with friends? Surely partners are independent creatures capable of occupying their time on their own for an evening? "
Independent to a point. And people DO argue if one partner is out too much. |
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"What's a " Open Relationship" does that mean your partner can fuck who they want, and return to you saying they love you, seems like married life to me, cheating, disrespect, what's really happening, is your partner is fed up of you, but don't want to leave you, in the meantime I'll get sex elsewhere, but still remain with you.
Omg, and don't tell me you trust your partner, get the impression your " Weak in your " relationship". On the other hand I could be wrong, relationship could becomes stronger, is this the case. This is a Forum discussion. So don't take offence...... "
We think you would need to be in a relationship to understand it. |
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Although we're not in a defined open marriage, we are not each other's property. If Anita wants to have sex with someone else, she will and vice versa.
Generally, we prefer to enjoy having sex with others... together.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An open relationship takes so much trust and love. To love your partner enough to let them explore their sexuality and fulfil their sexual needs, well is there a greater love? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m in an open marriage. My husband has absolutely no interest playing with anyone else, and I trust him 100% and I have never doubted that for a second. August 2017 we had a chat and he confessed the thought of me fucking someone else is a turn on
So the whole first paragraph of your post is rubbish IMO "
Ditto |
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"What's a " Open Relationship" does that mean your partner can fuck who they want, and return to you saying they love you, seems like married life to me, cheating, disrespect, what's really happening, is your partner is fed up of you, but don't want to leave you, in the meantime I'll get sex elsewhere, but still remain with you.
Omg, and don't tell me you trust your partner, get the impression your " Weak in your " relationship". On the other hand I could be wrong, relationship could becomes stronger, is this the case. This is a Forum discussion. So don't take offence...... "
You can’t be rude and disrespectful and then tell us not to take offence, it doesn’t work like that.
Your question could be worded in such a way so to be offensive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open relationship and swinging are often not the same thing. There are many types of each and they can cross over and a relationship can sometimes contain both.. But often not. I have been in polyfidelity relationships that have involved no swinging and also in swinging relationships that I would not class as open. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a " Open Relationship" does that mean your partner can fuck who they want, and return to you saying they love you, seems like married life to me, cheating, disrespect, what's really happening, is your partner is fed up of you, but don't want to leave you, in the meantime I'll get sex elsewhere, but still remain with you.
Omg, and don't tell me you trust your partner, get the impression your " Weak in your " relationship". On the other hand I could be wrong, relationship could becomes stronger, is this the case. This is a Forum discussion. So don't take offence...... "
Both are true in different relationships.
Some Swingers swing but also cheat behind their partner's back.
Some people only swing because they know their partner will cheat anyway so they're 'forced' into it but pretend they are happy.
For some people, swinging makes their relationship very much stronger. They fuck other people but knowing they come back to each other is very powerful. The sex they share with each other may be very much more intense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open relationships can only truly work if you are 100% honest and 100% trust each other.
However, I find it very hard to believe that they truly work, although I’m sure there are plenty of people who would argue against that on here.
Life stories and experiences shape the people we are and it’s hard to change how we feel. I believe if a partner hadn’t cheated on me in the past, I’d be a different person now. I would love to experience so many things, but unfortunately my insecurities get the better of me... |
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Swinging and open relationships...possibly the same or similar with crossovers. What the OP hasn't potentially grasped is the difference between relationships, love and sex. Sex within a non monogamous relationship is recreational and has nothing to do with unhappiness at home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife & I are in an open marriage. As it happens it's our 37th anniversary today. We've been in an open marriage for about 6 years. I see other women both socially & for nsa sex. My wife has seen other men in the past. I make it clear on my profile that I'm married & here with my wife's full knowledge & permission. It has been an issue for some people on here,but if my wife doesn't mind why should it be a problem for other people ? Obviously my wife & family will always come first.
It works for us,but I guess it's not for every married couple. |
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