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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As new year comes round many decide to sign up. I seen this today and thought it might be relatable and amusing!
Things only people who've joined slimming clubs will know.
1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it's -2 degrees outside you'll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
2. You've considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
3. There's always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
4. You'll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
5. There's always a Pauline in group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin's funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
6. You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8pm.
7. You'll praise a Susan who maintained.
8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
9. Group leader: "You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to.....but you won't be able to"
You: "I beg to fucking differ Linda".
11. There will always be one lone man called Peter in group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you'll all secretly hate the bastard.
12. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home....massive shit.
13. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are "better than chip shop chips". This is bullshit Linda. Bullshit.
14. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
15. Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn't follow the plan.
16. Syns/Points don't count if it's to help cure a hangover. They also don't count if you're eating them off another person's plate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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17) you’ll put it all back on when you quit.
18) the first huge weight lose is due to water but this will be denied.
19) there’s a guaranteed five pounds lose a week (but that’s cash).
20) it’s never a healthy long term solution to weight loss.
Can you tell I’m a big believer in this global market maker  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As new year comes round many decide to sign up. I seen this today and thought it might be relatable and amusing!
Things only people who've joined slimming clubs will know.
1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it's -2 degrees outside you'll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
2. You've considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
3. There's always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
4. You'll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
5. There's always a Pauline in group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin's funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
6. You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8pm.
7. You'll praise a Susan who maintained.
8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
9. Group leader: "You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to.....but you won't be able to"
You: "I beg to fucking differ Linda".
11. There will always be one lone man called Peter in group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you'll all secretly hate the bastard.
12. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home....massive shit.
13. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are "better than chip shop chips". This is bullshit Linda. Bullshit.
14. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
15. Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn't follow the plan.
16. Syns/Points don't count if it's to help cure a hangover. They also don't count if you're eating them off another person's plate."
No 13.... my mum’s weekly comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can associate with so many things on this post
I once sat and listened to a woman explain a 5lb gain away with 'cough medicine'
It never answered why she smelled more of fish & chips than she did of buttercup syrup, but it was, nonetheless, a good watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife has lost a lot of weight with the help of Slimming World. It takes hard work,determination & dedication. Once you reach your target weight if you want to stay there then you've got to stick to that dietry regime or it'll pile back on again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done, OP. Brilliant post .
I'll add one more thing- the scales at the meeting never show the same weight as your scales at home (even if you splashed on getting exactly the same scales). |
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So true!
