Better late than not coming at all because they're not actually a hot 20 year old single female nympho, but Brian, 62 from Cleethorpes and he intended to stand you up all along....sucker!!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

No sky at night..dungeness power station just blew up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A bird in the hand is not worth two in a bush.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *tella HeelsTV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

As sure footed as arrrggggggghhhhh I fell

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Look after your broom

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

In golf there is 1 that goes.

'It's not all about driving'

referring to long hitters of the ball.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

An apple a day is 365 apples a year, that's a lot of apples, even if you like apples.

Maybe vary it with a pear or a kumquat.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but so does a restraining order.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for everything especially after a porn-star martini... or six

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Look after your broom"

And your broom will look after you?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

What's good for the goose is goose food.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will get stuck like that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Early to bed, early to rise, makes Jack a right boring twat.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always remember you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The early bird catches my morning glory

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't drive so fast...you won't get there any quicker" ...oh really?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well fuck my old brown boots

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Abstinence make the cock grow harder

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Birds in leather, fuck together

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Pink fluffy sky at night, Angel Delight.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keep your friends close and your enemies under the patio.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Seek and you will find it down the back of the sofa generally.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can lead a horse to water

But you can’t stop it from sticking Lego up its bum

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The penis is mightier than the sword.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

You can lead a horse to Malta, but it will be much trickier after Brexit.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keep your mouth open and your eyes shut.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Good things cum to those who wank

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

You can't teach an old dog new tricks,they always drop the cards because they struggle with sleight of paw.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A watched pot boils in the exact same time an unwatched one does.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/01/19 00:10:32]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Applicable to a lot of people on the forums unfortunately.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

People who live in glass houses should expect voyeurs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

A rolling pin gathers no moss

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *arry WindsorMan over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes Jack a right boring twat."

or perhaps a sex god?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wipe front to back, fragrant crack. Wipe back to front, shit in your cunt.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you can’t spell “advertisements” without semen between the tits.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gazpacho is a dish best served cold

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t lick yellow snow, unless it’s a slushy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

minced lamb and mashed potatoes - shepherd's pie

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't put all your cocks in one pussy.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can lead a whore to water, but you migh need to scrubber yourself

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil has to be lead....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always read your Iceland hashtags carefully

#deeppanalbumparty

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *unshine05Man over a year ago

Man who goes to bed with itchy arsehole wakes up with stinky finger

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A wet kiss is better than a hurried coitus

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Red sky at night, shed's on fire.

Red sky in the morning, shed's still on fire.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, but the fridge is ok apparently.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket, but the fridge is ok apparently."

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absinthe makes the tart grow fonder.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *olgate OP Man over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

"Look after your broom

And your broom will look after you?"

Just

Look after your broom

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There’s many a slip betwix between a cup and a lip.

More of your drinking gin

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Practice makes perfecc … Practice makkes perfect … Practice makesper...Praktis maakes purfekt.

Ffs I’ll never get this so I'm giving up

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *awtycpl661Couple over a year ago

honiton

Old Chinese proverb say... man with fist in mouth.... give no lip!

Also man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No man is an island...except the Isle of Man.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

You can only piss with the dick you've got.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To survive out there, you've really got to know where your towel is.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

While the cats away you might get a decent nights sleep.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never try to catch a falling knife...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Never try to catch a falling knife..."

Or a falling cactus.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *edMan over a year ago

cambridgeshire

"You can lead a horse to water

But you can’t stop it from sticking Lego up its bum"

Never saw that only any vet program...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When the student is ready the master appears

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"When the student is ready the master appears"

When the student is ready a traffic cone appears...

And a pot noodle.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When the student is ready the master appears

When the student is ready a traffic cone appears...

And a pot noodle."

When the student is ready the lecture is over

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never try to catch a falling knife...

Or a falling cactus."

Ouch...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

A rolling stone gathers ex wives.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *MP3Man over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky - Confucious

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *andonmessMan over a year ago

A world all of his own

If at first you don't succeed, apply for a job at Apple.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Don't shit on your own croissant

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

A man who fights with his wife all day doesn’t get any piece at night.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

A man who fishes in many different holes catches many crabs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Man who run In front of car feel ty_ed, man who runs behind car feels exhausted

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

When the cats away you have to find someone else to watch washing their arse in your immediate eyeline in the middle of the lounge floor.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Suck and see

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Too many cocks spoil the breath

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic