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Why does...
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I love vanilla sex!  "
Yeah me too and i think I'm pretty good at it. |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"But swingers on the other hand (no capital S) are lovely people who share experiences and are genuinely nice. They wouldn't look down on 'vanilla' sex."
Seems some do, or is it just for people they genuinely care about and trust? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But swingers on the other hand (no capital S) are lovely people who share experiences and are genuinely nice. They wouldn't look down on 'vanilla' sex.
Seems some do, or is it just for people they genuinely care about and trust?"
I don't know what you mean. Some do look down on it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lots of lovely, passionate, erotic sex with my LTP, with lots of kissing and caressing.
That trumps all the other stuff we have done together, and I've done with others. |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"But swingers on the other hand (no capital S) are lovely people who share experiences and are genuinely nice. They wouldn't look down on 'vanilla' sex.
Seems some do, or is it just for people they genuinely care about and trust?
I don't know what you mean. Some do look down on it?"
Yeah, it appears so from what I've read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me though, vanilla is like my married sex. Quick fumble of the pussy, suck his cock for a minute, jump on, come, roll off.
That's not even as exciting as a tub of Carte D'or vanilla. |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"For me though, vanilla is like my married sex. Quick fumble of the pussy, suck his cock for a minute, jump on, come, roll off.
That's not even as exciting as a tub of Carte D'or vanilla. "
Yeah depends on the context it's used in I guess. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?"
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?"
I think you're making an assumption that vanilla is the basic sex that everyone has but they hide behind kinks and fetishes? Is that what you're saying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But swingers on the other hand (no capital S) are lovely people who share experiences and are genuinely nice. They wouldn't look down on 'vanilla' sex.
Seems some do, or is it just for people they genuinely care about and trust?
I don't know what you mean. Some do look down on it?
Yeah, it appears so from what I've read."
Ah right sorry. I just meant I see the people who look down on it as the Swinging Elite. I like the swingers who are nice people- a different group than the Elite Swingers.
Perhaps they look down on it due to jealousy. As per your OP- maybe they are scared of the vulnerability and closeness of it. They need the Swinging facade of ever chasing new extreme fucks to get the same 'hit'. They envy people that are happy and satisfied with vanilla sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me though, vanilla is like my married sex. Quick fumble of the pussy, suck his cock for a minute, jump on, come, roll off.
That's not even as exciting as a tub of Carte D'or vanilla. Yeah depends on the context it's used in I guess."
Some think adding a third person to their sex lives counts as non-vanilla. If they are just giving each other oral I count that as vanilla. |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A"
No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's 'vanilla' for one person may be extreme for the other.
No such thing IMO. Its all about the moment and the person you're with. "
Exactly this ^^^ |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I think you're making an assumption that vanilla is the basic sex that everyone has but they hide behind kinks and fetishes? Is that what you're saying? "
I don't know, i'm just guessing really. It's why I'm asking. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff."
I think vanilla is a very subjective term though.
I consider myself kink free, fetish free, fairly simple in my wants and tastes. However I had a meet earlier this year which to me was pretty 'vanilla' (I do dislike that term) but the lady called the kinkiest thing she'd ever done.
It's all a matter of context and perspective. To a virgin the concept of penetration is pretty kinky... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I haven't really seen many derogatory comments about it.
As people have stated I think it's more to do with your interpretation of the word. To me vanilla means no "kink" which suits me, I'm not sub or Dom, I have no vast array of toys or props. I just like being naked and intimate.
I guess there is also the view that vanilla covers anything "normal" so swinging in itself is outside of that and since most swingers love what they do then maybe it can seem like they are anti vanilla? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why do we get so hung up on what others like and what interpretations they put on things ?
This site is filled to the brim with different people, with wildly different values, beliefs, likes, dislikes and interpretations of what makes for a good time
To me, knowing what works for me is the start
Finding others that share my thoughts is the second
Getting to know those people is where the fun starts
There are pitfalls, there are hurdles, but the ride can still be fun if you get 1 and 2 right  |
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"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
I think vanilla is a very subjective term though.
I consider myself kink free, fetish free, fairly simple in my wants and tastes. However I had a meet earlier this year which to me was pretty 'vanilla' (I do dislike that term) but the lady called the kinkiest thing she'd ever done.
It's all a matter of context and perspective. To a virgin the concept of penetration is pretty kinky... "
Completely agree with this.
Mrs |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I haven't really seen many derogatory comments about it.
As people have stated I think it's more to do with your interpretation of the word. To me vanilla means no "kink" which suits me, I'm not sub or Dom, I have no vast array of toys or props. I just like being naked and intimate.
I guess there is also the view that vanilla covers anything "normal" so swinging in itself is outside of that and since most swingers love what they do then maybe it can seem like they are anti vanilla? "
Very true |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff."
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A"
Damnit, it just got my chandelier installed too, you couldn't have dropped that little gem in last week?
*wanders off muttering* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A
Damnit, it just got my chandelier installed too, you couldn't have dropped that little gem in last week?
*wanders off muttering*"
And you were so looking forward to that strap on too  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A
Damnit, it just got my chandelier installed too, you couldn't have dropped that little gem in last week?
*wanders off muttering*
And you were so looking forward to that strap on too "
That came yesterday, why do you think I'm walking like this?
*wanders off slowly* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I hate the way vanilla people get sniffed at in derogatory way, there’s a presumption that swingers are somehow far more interesting and liberal, but that’s rarely the case, there’s plenty of dull narrow minded people in walks of like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A
Damnit, it just got my chandelier installed too, you couldn't have dropped that little gem in last week?
*wanders off muttering*
And you were so looking forward to that strap on too
That came yesterday, why do you think I'm walking like this?
*wanders off slowly*"
 |
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My non swinger friends are way kinkier than I am. According to some definitions of vanilla, I'm the "vanilla" one. Just because I'm a swinger, doesn't mean I look down on vanilla sex, whatever the meaning of vanilla sex is
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?"
Wish I knew. I’m pretty vanilla and can put some men off. I’m willing to try many, many things, when I’m comfortable. I explain I’m vanilla and I’ll get; ‘oh we’ll have you doing this in no time’. Will we?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I love vanilla sex! "
rather a wank....less boring and less hassle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
I think vanilla is a very subjective term though.
I consider myself kink free, fetish free, fairly simple in my wants and tastes. However I had a meet earlier this year which to me was pretty 'vanilla' (I do dislike that term) but the lady called the kinkiest thing she'd ever done.
It's all a matter of context and perspective. To a virgin the concept of penetration is pretty kinky... "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate the way vanilla people get sniffed at in derogatory way, there’s a presumption that swingers are somehow far more interesting and liberal, but that’s rarely the case, there’s plenty of dull narrow minded people in walks of like. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Does it?! I see people with opinions on both sides that perhaps haven't fully experienced all that each has to offer..
good sex isn't about being as outrageous as you can, it's about two or more people with the same goal.. like anything communication is key and as long as everyone's having fun I don't care how they achieve it. |
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"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I don't know that it does. I suppose it depends on what you're classing as 'vanilla'?
Are we talking missionary once a week with the lights off and sod all foreplay, or just monogamy?
'Vanilla' is a pretty broad definition to throw out there.........
A No, I like the lights on but I compromise. No, much more than that with foreplay etc just no eccentric stuff.
Ok. So define eccentric?
Apparently anal is increasingly common amongst married couples. Sex toy use is on the increase. Porn use too. People have been dressing up in outfits/lingerie for decades.
Those would all have been deemed 'non-vanilla' a short time ago, yet are now common.
So I guess it's all down to definitions. One man's (or of course woman's) vanilla may be eccentric to another, and vice versa.
Good sex doesn't have to involve others, swinging from chandeliers, 12" strap-ons and violet wands........
A
Damnit, it just got my chandelier installed too, you couldn't have dropped that little gem in last week?
*wanders off muttering*"
It's ok just get del boy and grandad to clean it problem solved |
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What happens in an encounter is up to both parties and what they enjoy I've had partners where there idea of vanilla was just lieing there and others where there idea of vanilla involved lots of kinks . Each person's idea is different so I just go with the flow |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
I love vanilla sex! "
Vanilla sex is great it just depends on how you sell it.
A nice Sunday slow session with just the two of you only stopping for a quick bite to eat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do we get so hung up on what others like and what interpretations they put on things ?
This site is filled to the brim with different people, with wildly different values, beliefs, likes, dislikes and interpretations of what makes for a good time
To me, knowing what works for me is the start
Finding others that share my thoughts is the second
Getting to know those people is where the fun starts
There are pitfalls, there are hurdles, but the ride can still be fun if you get 1 and 2 right "
|
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?"
Like everything in life, there is exquisite vanilla, and nasty vanilla. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?"
Where do you think that happens, don't think I've seen a single post sati g that on this forum, but then I don't read everything.
There's nothing wrong with any sort of sex as long as its legal and everybody involved is happy.
Why are so many on here constantly trying to stir up anti-swinger feelings, and in quite a bizarre place too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This days I only practise vanilla sex behind supermarkets
Won't they let you inside any more?"
Nope ! Since that story that came out in the daily mail, I am ban for life so I give orgasms to women behind them |
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By *r.Blonde OP Man
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Vanilla Sex get a bad rap and used in a derogatory way?
Is it more scary to just be yourself and vulnerable instead of some sort of facade to hide behind?
Where do you think that happens, don't think I've seen a single post sati g that on this forum, but then I don't read everything.
There's nothing wrong with any sort of sex as long as its legal and everybody involved is happy.
Why are so many on here constantly trying to stir up anti-swinger feelings, and in quite a bizarre place too. "
Just talking about vanilla sex between swingers. Not vanilla people. |
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