FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Single men - unfairly demonised on Fab?
Single men - unfairly demonised on Fab?
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
As a class no intelligent person has ever demonised them on fab x
Many single men on fab are idiots not all and any women who treats a prospective man as a deacon by default will not get the best men x |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
All genders have their good and bad. Single guys are often treated differently by some because they say it with little consequence, there's loads of guys is often said.. if a single guy said similar of others there may be consequences.. so while I'm sure single guys think it they probably don't voice that opinion.. turkeys don't vote for Christmas do they.
As with most things the bad is remembered and often spoken complained about, the good less often spoken about.
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
Are single men on here really demonised? I know a lot of the women like to have a good bitch about them but that's just what women do about pretty much everything, they can't help themselves. |
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We’ve had our share of single guys following us around not taking no for an answer. Doesn’t tend to happen with couples or single females. So unfortunately a selection few ruin it for the rest of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are single men on here really demonised? I know a lot of the women like to have a good bitch about them but that's just what women do about pretty much everything, they can't help themselves."
Can't disagree  |
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"We’ve had our share of single guys following us around not taking no for an answer. Doesn’t tend to happen with couples or single females. So unfortunately a selection few ruin it for the rest of them."
Really don't understand that perspective? It does not ruin it for me ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as with any problem.
message filters help. block all men. then choose who you want to mail.
that way you save yourself time, a overloaded mailbox. and you are in control.
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
It’s probably because there are so many single men on here by default there appears to be loads of them that are nasty/idiots. There’s also nasty/idiotic single women and couples but just not as many. There are also a lot of absolutely lovely men,women and couples too. Those are the ones I focus on  |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"It’s probably because there are so many single men on here by default there appears to be loads of them that are nasty/idiots. There’s also nasty/idiotic single women and couples but just not as many. There are also a lot of absolutely lovely men,women and couples too. Those are the ones I focus on "
Name some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way. |
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"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way. "
You are so right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way. "
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah. Anywhere online where people can hide behind their phone/screen tends to be full of nob heads/fantasists/fakes/abusive keyboard warriors  "
Couldn't gave said it better myself! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
You are so right "
It's a nice platitude but there is story after story here of regular guys sending perfectly friendly messages and being systematically rejected often in a disrespectful way.
Not just the odious knuckledraggers.
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too."
Yeah messages calling me a stuck up double standard cunt for asking in my profile that men don’t send dick pics doesn’t really entice me into responding at all let alone to point out it’s unfair. Or the ones saying they want to sexually abuse me against my will. I don’t really feel the urge to reply to those ones either. Maybe I’m just being a snowflake though? |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too.
Yeah messages calling me a stuck up double standard cunt for asking in my profile that men don’t send dick pics doesn’t really entice me into responding at all let alone to point out it’s unfair. Or the ones saying they want to sexually abuse me against my will. I don’t really feel the urge to reply to those ones either. Maybe I’m just being a snowflake though? "
But I had tried everything else |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too.
Yeah messages calling me a stuck up double standard cunt for asking in my profile that men don’t send dick pics doesn’t really entice me into responding at all let alone to point out it’s unfair. Or the ones saying they want to sexually abuse me against my will. I don’t really feel the urge to reply to those ones either. Maybe I’m just being a snowflake though?
But I had tried everything else"
Now you know full well I always reply to your messages. It may just be with a photo of my middle finger but at least it’s a reply  |
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too.
Yeah messages calling me a stuck up double standard cunt for asking in my profile that men don’t send dick pics doesn’t really entice me into responding at all let alone to point out it’s unfair. Or the ones saying they want to sexually abuse me against my will. I don’t really feel the urge to reply to those ones either. Maybe I’m just being a snowflake though?
But I had tried everything else
Now you know full well I always reply to your messages. It may just be with a photo of my middle finger but at least it’s a reply "
The things I would do with that middle finger, you tease |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there are some men who just don’t have a bloody clue and ruin it for others... but that being said... we’ve received some shit messages from couples and women too"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too."
How would you define a feckless idiot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some people get irate at men when they could very easily sort the issue themselves. It's really easy to *not* get lots of daft messages.
Some of the women & couples wind the men up which pisses them off so they go on to piss the women & couples off.
Many men see the half naked/ dripping genital pics and think people are looking for sex. So they ask about sex and get shot down.
Then they send a nice message and get ignored.
There's some absolutely fantastic men on here. Even the 'rude' ones have apologised when I've pointed out that they've been unfair.
Treat people with respect and the majority respond the same way.
Thanks for flying the flag for men Doris. But let’s be fair there’s a lot of feckless idiots on here too.
Yeah messages calling me a stuck up double standard cunt for asking in my profile that men don’t send dick pics doesn’t really entice me into responding at all let alone to point out it’s unfair. Or the ones saying they want to sexually abuse me against my will. I don’t really feel the urge to reply to those ones either. Maybe I’m just being a snowflake though? "
I don't think you're a snowflake. You seem like a nice person.
I think I'm just a fucking idiot/ doormat. I really do often reply asking why they're being so rude to a total stranger, I'm not just saying it to appear like a stirring twat. Many don't reply again (probably relieved they won't be meeting me) but sometimes the ones that have sent really vile messages have replied and apologised.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do say stupid shit on forums but try never to offend anyone. But there are some fuckin helmets here that may change women's views of us. Not saying definitely but possible. |
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When we were actively swinging , it was single guys that were our main choice to meet . And we certainly didn’t demonise them at all .
They tend to be spoken down about in the forums though , but since the forum users represent less than 1% of the site it doesn’t really matter I guess . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
Those that "don't turn up" reap as they sow. Those that "do turn up" sow as they reap.
Hope that helps? |
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
Personally, I couldn’t care less if people think negatively of me. Why would I allow some pixels to affect me? I don’t and they don’t. I do my own thing on here quite happily. |
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"A lot of men are here behind their partners back so the real single guys miss out
In what way do the singles miss out "
I think that comment means that if the number of men who were on here without their partners knowledge was reduced then the lower number of remaining men would statistically mean the women would shag them more.
Doesn’t make logical sense to me but hey ho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of men are here behind their partners back so the real single guys miss out
In what way do the singles miss out
I think that comment means that if the number of men who were on here without their partners knowledge was reduced then the lower number of remaining men would statistically mean the women would shag them more.
Doesn’t make logical sense to me but hey ho. "
But then the married /board playing away men can keep a woman and are generally more social better looking and more interesting. A lot of single men are single for a very good reason (ok not all) but a large percentage can't interact with women some are not good looking and most get frustrated and angry when turned down so probably would still struggle to meet. |
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"A lot of men are here behind their partners back so the real single guys miss out
In what way do the singles miss out
I think that comment means that if the number of men who were on here without their partners knowledge was reduced then the lower number of remaining men would statistically mean the women would shag them more.
Doesn’t make logical sense to me but hey ho.
But then the married /board playing away men can keep a woman and are generally more social better looking and more interesting. A lot of single men are single for a very good reason (ok not all) but a large percentage can't interact with women some are not good looking and most get frustrated and angry when turned down so probably would still struggle to meet."
You’ve hit the nail on the head - it’s nothing to do with numbers at all. It’s to do with social skills, sexual attraction, etc etc blah de blah......but not numbers. |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
There are idiots in all groups. But the biggest group is men, so therefore the number is higher even though the proportion is probably the same.
I would say that single men are the most generalised about, but then I would, wouldn't I |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Nope... you don’t speak for me, and I don’t speak for you, so I don’t let people demonise me as a group, or demonise me at all...
I only speak for me, and whatever I say or do is on me and me alone
I am the master of my own fate.... I am the best person to speak my own praises |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"A lot of men are here behind their partners back so the real single guys miss out
In what way do the singles miss out
I think that comment means that if the number of men who were on here without their partners knowledge was reduced then the lower number of remaining men would statistically mean the women would shag them more.
Doesn’t make logical sense to me but hey ho.
But then the married /board playing away men can keep a woman and are generally more social better looking and more interesting. A lot of single men are single for a very good reason (ok not all) but a large percentage can't interact with women some are not good looking and most get frustrated and angry when turned down so probably would still struggle to meet."
I am single, as I don’t have time for the dating game. I am at football every other weekend, or sometime I can have 3 weekends on the trot when I am football.
I have no issues meeting people on here, but on more vanilla dating sites I struggle!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
Based on what women I've chatted to on here have told me, it wouldn't surprise me if people are wary of single guys given the kind of messages women are inundated with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve always find guys, in general, very civil. Even when we email to reject guys we usually get a nice reply.
We’ve found the most demanding are single women or fuck buddy couples (single girl/single guy). The ones we have talked to, and it might just be us, have been uber demanding.
Single guys are ok.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Imagine if we reframed this conversation in terms of the gender p(l)ay gap.
Some women just let the side down with their 3 day work weeks, their meek negotiating skills and their preference for part time blogging over working on an oil rig.
Ruins the average for the rest of us.
You get out of it what you put in. Persevere and make an effort!
We find that some do quite well for themselves.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people "
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
Demonised? I wouldn't think so. Most with working brain cells will know it's not the gender as a whole. Some people are just dicks. It's not gender specific. I love men!.... Well some men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages. "
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there "
Victim? Seriously? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about "
How does the site work? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there
Victim? Seriously? "
Well you are making out I have to change for the fuck wits who think with their dicks
No you are wrong
It's about time they read the profile |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work? "
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there "
Your posts lately have been fate filled and angry towards men.
It has been said before that if you use your message filters correctly men will not be able to mail you. You will be able to mail the ones you want too.
So you won't get messages asking to meet.
Or Messages containing cock pics.
I'm sorry your always angry and being abusive with the language you continue to use towards men.
Maybe this is what they see so like to wind you up.
I do not behave in such a manner using language like you do on nearly every post you make.
It's ok to hate me as well that's fine.
But certainly due to your attitude you display any man who seeks nice people would carefully consider if meeting you was the right thing to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there
Victim? Seriously?
Well you are making out I have to change for the fuck wits who think with their dicks
No you are wrong
It's about time they read the profile "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?
Demonised? I wouldn't think so. Most with working brain cells will know it's not the gender as a whole. Some people are just dicks. It's not gender specific. I love men!.... Well some men "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there
Victim? Seriously?
Well you are making out I have to change for the fuck wits who think with their dicks
No you are wrong
It's about time they read the profile "
This site doesn’t sound like it’s fun for you at all, you’re always negative, never seen you make a lighthearted comment or say anything positive.
Just moan about men who message you or moan about the standards of photos. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really."
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really.
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them. "
The 'right approach' is whatever works for the individual concerned that doesn't see fit to moan about the site or their lack of success from it, of which there are many.
All too often those that see themselves as "demonised", and let's face it it's mainly men, are those that have totally the wrong approach and attitude - who put in little or no effort and expect maximum reward.
And before you say that people who don't want abusive messages etc should use filters and the like - why should they have to? Why should they rule out those that are respectful and considerate and may potentially be people they want to meet because of those that are abusive?
Just because someone doesn't use filters doesn't mean they only have themselves to blame if they get abuse from some quarters nor does it mean they should expect it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Oh I agree using message filters isn't the final answer. It's a shame we have to use them in truth.
But they are there and used correctly do give woman a better quality of choice.
What I mean by that is it puts them in control of the incoming and outgoing mail.
Got to be a good thing.
|
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
People should stop sending shite messages to those who clearly won't want to meet them, that's what would happen in an ideal world.
By the same token some people should stop whinging so much about the shite messages they get and use filters for those they don't want to meet. Yes, nobody should send messages to people who state they don't want to meet them, but isn't it easy to stop that by blocking all of that sex? Why wouldn't you if you don't want to meet them anyway? You can still be messaged by friends and those you choose to message first.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really.
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them.
The 'right approach' is whatever works for the individual concerned that doesn't see fit to moan about the site or their lack of success from it, of which there are many.
All too often those that see themselves as "demonised", and let's face it it's mainly men, are those that have totally the wrong approach and attitude - who put in little or no effort and expect maximum reward.
And before you say that people who don't want abusive messages etc should use filters and the like - why should they have to? Why should they rule out those that are respectful and considerate and may potentially be people they want to meet because of those that are abusive?
Just because someone doesn't use filters doesn't mean they only have themselves to blame if they get abuse from some quarters nor does it mean they should expect it. "
Of course they shouldn't have to.
I lock my door when I leave the house. It's just common sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Constantly fighting a losing battle. Honestly thats what it feels like on this site.
Its a battle and i thought it was meant to be adult fun.
Feels like you are dealing witj children most of the time |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really.
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them.
The 'right approach' is whatever works for the individual concerned that doesn't see fit to moan about the site or their lack of success from it, of which there are many.
All too often those that see themselves as "demonised", and let's face it it's mainly men, are those that have totally the wrong approach and attitude - who put in little or no effort and expect maximum reward.
And before you say that people who don't want abusive messages etc should use filters and the like - why should they have to? Why should they rule out those that are respectful and considerate and may potentially be people they want to meet because of those that are abusive?
Just because someone doesn't use filters doesn't mean they only have themselves to blame if they get abuse from some quarters nor does it mean they should expect it.
Of course they shouldn't have to.
I lock my door when I leave the house. It's just common sense."
You've missed the point completely - filters only allow you to block a complete category - so let's say you're only looking for single men between the ages of 25 and 45 who are verified and have public pics - you can either filter out anyone who doesn't fit that or you can filter out everyone completely.
Doing the first doesn't stop abusive messages and doing the second stops them but also rules out people who would potentially be of interest so Catch 22.
And even then if you do your own searching you could still be subject to abuse you pick the wrong person.
There's no right answer and yes using filters wisely can cut down abusive messages but doesn't rule them out completely.
We're straying from the point though which is most single men aren't demonised, even though some may, wrongly, perceive themselves to be - it all comes back to my point about having the right approach, attitude and expectations to/of the site - get that right and demonised disappears from the perception completely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
I'm not sure I would use the term demonised but I would say that a lot of people on here tend towards the view that we arent genuine or that we are timewasters. The irony is that most of the actual single men on here are the exact opposite. It's the married or attached men on here pretending to be single who are the guilty parties but then we can all get tarred with the same brush. Certainly not by all on here but by the fairly high percentage that have been messed about by the so called 'single men' who are anything but single, and in reality who can blame them as the saying goes 'Once bitten twice shy' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You can tell which ones are married as they have been missing off the forum over Christmas and have started to return.
Had to stick it out with the wife haven't they |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can tell which ones are married as they have been missing off the forum over Christmas and have started to return.
Had to stick it out with the wife haven't they "
...... and visa versa |
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"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there
Victim? Seriously?
Well you are making out I have to change for the fuck wits who think with their dicks
No you are wrong
It's about time they read the profile "
I've had the same conversation on the forums before.
Apparently because we don't put that we are not looking for single men, it is our fault that we get messages - apparently it's an ego boost
I actually only get about five messages a day (even less over Christmas). They get blocked and deleted because it clearly states on my profile that I'm not meeting anyone new.
I'm not demonizing anyone by doing this, I think I'm giving men credit for actually being able to read |
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"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really.
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them. "
I once got a message telling me to get off the site because I'm timewasting (I'd never spoken to this person before and his exact words were a bit more colourful!) |
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"I'm effectively for the purposes of this profile a single man - I don't feel demonised in the slightest, in fact I don't think any single guys that "get" the site and how it works are either - the ones that are demonised, or perceive that they are, are the ones that don't get it, and therefore aren't worth worrying about
How does the site work?
By having the right approach, attitude and expectations, being respectful and considerate mainly, being prepared to listen and learn, and act on what you learn - simple as that really.
But what is 'the right approach'. It's different for everyone. Many people are here just looking for a fuck. I don't get pissed off if they ask for a fuck. We're not compatible but I respect that.
It's a site full of sex chat and sex pics. I struggle to understand why people get upset or annoyed when someone isn't looking for the same as them.
The 'right approach' is whatever works for the individual concerned that doesn't see fit to moan about the site or their lack of success from it, of which there are many.
All too often those that see themselves as "demonised", and let's face it it's mainly men, are those that have totally the wrong approach and attitude - who put in little or no effort and expect maximum reward.
And before you say that people who don't want abusive messages etc should use filters and the like - why should they have to? Why should they rule out those that are respectful and considerate and may potentially be people they want to meet because of those that are abusive?
Just because someone doesn't use filters doesn't mean they only have themselves to blame if they get abuse from some quarters nor does it mean they should expect it. "
|
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"People should stop sending shite messages to those who clearly won't want to meet them, that's what would happen in an ideal world.
By the same token some people should stop whinging so much about the shite messages they get and use filters for those they don't want to meet. Yes, nobody should send messages to people who state they don't want to meet them, but isn't it easy to stop that by blocking all of that sex? Why wouldn't you if you don't want to meet them anyway? You can still be messaged by friends and those you choose to message first.
"
So I need to block all single men and couples?
That's going to work with the thread I run which organises socials and where I chat to people about their running! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah. Anywhere online where people can hide behind their phone/screen tends to be full of nob heads/fantasists/fakes/abusive keyboard warriors "
Yeah that applies all round to some of the single women and couples. I also agree what other posters have said the negative ones do make it easier for the rest of us to find like minded people. It's just the way online works in general.
Meeting in person especially at big social events is when you can really get to know people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As a collective whole, I think we do deserve what we get. I’m privalidged as to the messages that are sent to my wife and the reasons she doesn’t log on as much as I do.
So although my account is a single (actually here as a couple) I get why I may be looked at in a certain light.
Men can be idiots, but that doesn’t mean all men are.
The good men of this world also know it doesn’t matter, they don’t make me look like a nob, I’m only a nob if I act like them. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Most of the men that message me are alright. They put up with my waffle, my polite declines and my bantz with good grace.
I know it’s just because they want me to suck their balls, but even so - 99% of the men i’ve Dealt with over the years have been ok.
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"Most of the men that message me are alright. They put up with my waffle, my polite declines and my bantz with good grace.
I know it’s just because they want me to suck their balls, but even so - 99% of the men i’ve Dealt with over the years have been ok.
"
Same here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The funniest was the tirade from some crank by private message all about how I hate women and I'm disrespectful to feminist causes.
All served up with a very abusive "you must have been abused by your mommy, no woman would fuck you and you live in her basement" story.
I wondered is the irony lost on these people?
Love you babez |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been here a year on and off and I think because I'm not verified I get ignored. Or maybe I'm just ugly..."
Did you go to the Durham social last weekend? That’s an easy way to get your face out there ...you need to put the leg work in if you want to have fun in here.
There’s also a social in Darlington in a few weeks time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most of the men that message me are alright. They put up with my waffle, my polite declines and my bantz with good grace.
I know it’s just because they want me to suck their balls, but even so - 99% of the men i’ve Dealt with over the years have been ok.
Same here."
That is true but also because I like your waffle and bantz anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Been here a year on and off and I think because I'm not verified I get ignored. Or maybe I'm just ugly...
Did you go to the Durham social last weekend? That’s an easy way to get your face out there ...you need to put the leg work in if you want to have fun in here.
There’s also a social in Darlington in a few weeks time "
I work weekend so may as well delete myself then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?
The jerks reap what they sow. The decent guys don't get demonised "
Whoever said that , I absolutely agree, to a point, so why dona lot of women put blanket filters on all single males? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We make our own luck.
If a woman or couple declare that the site has been ruined for them by single guys, I assume they have the luxury of having other options available (other couples, bi females etc).
The 100% straight ladies will just block men and do the searching.
We are a commodity after all and if we don't like it, we can vote with our feet and leave. There are 100's to take our place... |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?
The jerks reap what they sow. The decent guys don't get demonised
Whoever said that , I absolutely agree, to a point, so why dona lot of women put blanket filters on all single males? "
Because of the sheer volume of unwanted messages. It gives us a much better experience on fab not to have to wade through 100s of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The guys I speak too seem alright to me, I do get the 'meet me now' messages still but I just decline those. Block of there is a repeat.
I find the more inexperienced swingers and I am being nice to call them swinger don't know how it works. Think this is a quick way to get a free shag. Same as the club's to be fair.
Those that have experience treat me with respect, get to know me and after some conversation may get a play. The inexperienced say two words and want to drag me into a room before my bf comes back from the loo.(happend on Saturday)
Then expect it to be their turn in the glory holes when all I was doing was giving my bf head practically shoving my bf out of the way. Again in experience as the ones that did know about this world where just happy to have a show and a wank and where very respectful.
I might be a swinger and a slut but I sure as hell am not any easy slag.
The experienced swingers understand this, the inexperienced don't get the difference.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?
The jerks reap what they sow. The decent guys don't get demonised
Whoever said that , I absolutely agree, to a point, so why dona lot of women put blanket filters on all single males?
Because of the sheer volume of unwanted messages. It gives us a much better experience on fab not to have to wade through 100s of them. "
Okay. Do you think the men who put filters on all men are doing it because of the volume of 100s? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We never used to use the filters but we have them all up now and it's most definitely a lot easier to admin now! Men will msg if filters are down, even if you clearly state not looking. Receiving them never bothered me, though some did wind Fuzz up a bit, it was just the sheer volume!
It is so hard (snort) for guys on here just to get a conversation but right now, sorry guys,you are being filtered
Peach x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We never used to use the filters but we have them all up now and it's most definitely a lot easier to admin now! Men will msg if filters are down, even if you clearly state not looking. Receiving them never bothered me, though some did wind Fuzz up a bit, it was just the sheer volume!
It is so hard (snort) for guys on here just to get a conversation but right now, sorry guys,you are being filtered
Peach x"
Yep I already found that out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
There's a lot of total twunts but there's also a lot of really lovely guys  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the genuine men are sometimes fighting a losing battle. It sometimes takes one idiot to ruin a good man's chances on here. "
No they are not.
Anyone who declares themselves a genuine good guy and believes the actions of others have spoilt their own chances should log iff and find another activity.
We are masters of our own destiny. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think the genuine men are sometimes fighting a losing battle. It sometimes takes one idiot to ruin a good man's chances on here. "
Rubbish. They ruin it for themselves and make it easier for the decent guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the genuine men are sometimes fighting a losing battle. It sometimes takes one idiot to ruin a good man's chances on here. "
I used to think that but not really.
Sure a bad ones tarnish the male side with the behaviour and attitude but it is nobody but your own fault if you are unable to outshine the bad guys.
If a woman is then unable to differentiate between the two, is she even really worth bothering with? The women who look at individuals (however rare they may seem) are the ones who should be getting your attention. Focus on that and those women. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Yes. I’ve seen forum posts on here. Some from men (they get a bashing) and the exact same post from women (they get glitter and hugs). Why is that? "
If you're talking about the different genders posting the same thing and getting different responses thing - there's a couple of answers
Firstly a lot of men will be wary of how they respond to a woman posting because they don't want to ruin any perceived chances they think they may have, and likewise if It's a bloke posting, plenty of men will seize on the chance to put down the perceived competition.
Then in a lot of cases, women will phrase things differently, so although the topic may be the same, it doesn't come across as confrontational as it would if a guy posted it, which is often what lights the blue touch paper on some threads.
That said I've seen a lot of threads by both genders that are answered the same way regardless - think it often depends on the subject matter not the person posting, and as a lot of the subject matter of *some* men's posts is of the moany "why can't I get a meet/reply" variety, that is why they stand out more and attract a more negative sounding response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This site is for swingers, which is couples, right? The rest are singles in swingers world!!! Most of single guys have no clue of all this lifestyle and just looking for a quick shag, that’s why they ruin everything for others who knows the drill no matter if they are new on FB or not!!! So thanks to you all, you dickheads!!!
There should be a star rating for all singles, and filters according to the stars
?? ?? ?? ?? ?? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"This site is for swingers, which is couples, right? The rest are singles in swingers world!!! Most of single guys have no clue of all this lifestyle and just looking for a quick shag, that’s why they ruin everything for others who knows the drill no matter if they are new on FB or not!!! So thanks to you all, you dickheads!!!
There should be a star rating for all singles, and filters according to the stars
?? ?? ?? ?? ?? "
Firstly the term "swinger" is completely subjective and open to interpretation - but is not necessarily purely the domain of couples - the term was originally coined in the 60s to describe those who subscribed to "free love" hence the term the "Swinging 60s" - but that's a whole other discussion for another thread. To look at it another way, what about couples that want to meet a single for a threesome? Is the single a swinger?
As for single guys ruining it for other single guys? Nope, the only people they ruin it for are themselves.
A star system would be too open to abuse and completely subjective too.
The only way to maximise your experience of the site is to have the right approach and attitude, use some common sense and gut feel about others, have a decent profile and pics and set your expectations correctly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"my profile states not going on cam as I have a new baby
message asks to meet tonight
I say no as I have a new baby
reply
ok what about tomorrow?
what the fuck is wrong with these people
People search for profiles where they are 'looking for' xyz. It's quite simple to take a profile off the searches and not get messages.
No
My profile clearly states my current situation.
It's up to the idiots to read.
Victim blaming going on there
Victim? Seriously?
Well you are making out I have to change for the fuck wits who think with their dicks
No you are wrong
It's about time they read the profile
I've had the same conversation on the forums before.
Apparently because we don't put that we are not looking for single men, it is our fault that we get messages - apparently it's an ego boost
I actually only get about five messages a day (even less over Christmas). They get blocked and deleted because it clearly states on my profile that I'm not meeting anyone new.
I'm not demonizing anyone by doing this, I think I'm giving men credit for actually being able to read"
Filters ? |
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"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?"
No there 80% idots 10% naive 10% disrespectful.
These numbers were taken from my control group you may find percentage slightly different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So that's 100% of us that are no good? My veris tend to suggest some of us are not so bad? I would guess it is the subscriptions of single males that contribute more financially to keep this site running so a bit of respect to the single males wouldn't go a miss |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"The star rating is a good idea. Is anyone on admin looking at this? But shouldn't be just for singles and should extend to all members "
As I said above, it's a terrible idea, far too open to abuse and misinterpretation/subjectiveness.
Take the example of you had a meet that you thought went really well, but the other person thought was awful, but didn't want to say anything during the meet - then after they leave you 1 star - who then decides which of you was right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Are single men (as a class)unfairly demonised on Fab or do they reap what they sow?
No there 80% idots 10% naive 10% disrespectful.
These numbers were taken from my control group you may find percentage slightly different."
Are these numbers for men in relationships with women? Or just for single guys?
This must be for all men, no? |
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No ratings system will be perfect, there will always be the opportunity for abuse or misinterpretation. However I think a more sophisticated system than the current veri's system would be good to have and generally improve the site.
I also think charging more or not offering free profiles would be a good move but that's even more controversial and I know the majority would probably be against it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nah. Anywhere online where people can hide behind their phone/screen tends to be full of nob heads/fantasists/fakes/abusive keyboard warriors
Yeah that applies all round to some of the single women and couples. I also agree what other posters have said the negative ones do make it easier for the rest of us to find like minded people. It's just the way online works in general.
Meeting in person especially at big social events is when you can really get to know people."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are dicks, some aren’t, regardless of age and gender etc.
However, because there’s so many more single guys than other categories on here the sample size is bigger!
A lot of us are fairly normal I promise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might just seem that way because of the higher proportion of single males on the site. I think there are good and bad regardless of gender, single or couples ... at least that's what I've seen! |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
".
I also think charging more or not offering free profiles would be a good move but that's even more controversial and I know the majority would probably be against it."
I think if you get rid of free profiles it will stop the yo yo weekend wankers, might get rid of some of the attached but lying people as they won’t want the charges showing up anywhere |
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"It might just seem that way because of the higher proportion of single males on the site. I think there are good and bad regardless of gender, single or couples ... at least that's what I've seen!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s a good idea!
There are plenty of dating and adult websites that charges enormous amount per month and full of fake profiles!!! FB is free and to get membership is cheap as chips!!!! And it’s real!!!
They should charge more!!! |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"No ratings system will be perfect, there will always be the opportunity for abuse or misinterpretation. However I think a more sophisticated system than the current veri's system would be good to have and generally improve the site.
I also think charging more or not offering free profiles would be a good move but that's even more controversial and I know the majority would probably be against it."
Well fab it self came about from a reaction to another well known free swinging site becoming a pay site. That site is now a shadow of what was, while fab has excelled. I think fab have a good a good model. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".
I also think charging more or not offering free profiles would be a good move but that's even more controversial and I know the majority would probably be against it.
I think if you get rid of free profiles it will stop the yo yo weekend wankers, might get rid of some of the attached but lying people as they won’t want the charges showing up anywhere "
Agreed x |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I think the genuine men are sometimes fighting a losing battle. It sometimes takes one idiot to ruin a good man's chances on here. "
It doesn't. They ruin it for themselves and make the good ones stand out. |
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