FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Leaving fab
Leaving fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Sounds like your heart was never in it and maybe this is your partners thing more than yours. Might be way off track but maybe you could stop and see how he feels about that?
But to answer the question, yes I feel a bit like that. I get a lot of messages that sound like I'm just something to provide them with a fuck rather than wanting to share an intimate experience. Maybe I'm asking too much who knows but I doubt I will be here for too long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Can't you try other things without Fab?
I did  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I always wanted to try out another woman but always thought it was just a fantasy but was excited to try. He didn't pressurise me but we said once I tried we could stop only now I do feel sometimes it's different for me to him. Like he's enjoying it more than I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Leave then, drama aside...easy come easy go. All the best and enjoy a relashionship. See you in a few months  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ...
Can't you try other things without Fab?
I did "
We tried a club that was fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always wanted to try out another woman but always thought it was just a fantasy but was excited to try. He didn't pressurise me but we said once I tried we could stop only now I do feel sometimes it's different for me to him. Like he's enjoying it more than I am."
but your looking for a meet in your status?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue. "
I have tried expressing this to him but feel he thinks I'm over reacting maybe |
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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
im single so nope... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always wanted to try out another woman but always thought it was just a fantasy but was excited to try. He didn't pressurise me but we said once I tried we could stop only now I do feel sometimes it's different for me to him. Like he's enjoying it more than I am. but your looking for a meet in your status? "
This is a joint account so we see everything I never wrote the status |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue.
I have tried expressing this to him but feel he thinks I'm over reacting maybe"
Well try harder. If you don’t like this, stop. Say you’re not happy. Or just delete your profile and say ‘well I bloody told you’. That’s what I would do. I would never ever carry on if my partner expressed they weren’t 100% in and happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue. "
Very much this.
OP he shouldn't try to force you to carry on if you don't want to. x
This is the main reason I would never date anyone off here. I'd be worried that if I wanted to stop, they wouldn't. That wouldn't be fair on either of us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue.
I have tried expressing this to him but feel he thinks I'm over reacting maybe"
Well he has to respect your decision for now!
Ask him if you can put the profile on hold for now. Have a rethink in the New Year. Its Christmas, a bit of romantic time to yourselves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You should not do anything you aren’t comfortable Or happy about and your partner should be listening to you and not pressuring you.
Communication is the key in a swinging relationship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue.
I have tried expressing this to him but feel he thinks I'm over reacting maybe
Well he has to respect your decision for now!
Ask him if you can put the profile on hold for now. Have a rethink in the New Year. Its Christmas, a bit of romantic time to yourselves! "
Yeah maybe it's just how I feel now we will see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don’t want to do this then take a break. It is not fair on you or your partner if you carry on feeling like you are some how obliged because your partner wants too. If youcarry on feeling like this then it will affect your relationship in a negative way.
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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago
Kidderminster |
I suggest you just delete the account and discuss it as if one of you doesn't want to carry on then you should both stop it's only right. Perhaps further down the line you may decide to start again as a couple good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I always wanted to try out another woman but always thought it was just a fantasy but was excited to try. He didn't pressurise me but we said once I tried we could stop only now I do feel sometimes it's different for me to him. Like he's enjoying it more than I am."
You both have to want it...if one doesn't, then you both should stop ( unless you are happy with him playing alone ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me. "
If you feel like they would be affairs that infers you would be sad. And hurt. You deserve better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
I really find these posts a brass neck. It's like talking through a third party about another person. Brave enough to do a forum post but say fuck all to your partner. Either stay on and enjoy it or kick his fuckin arse for being selfish. Either way grow a pair x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me. "
That’s one of the first things in I’ve seen in 3 years that’s genuinely upsetting.
Hope you guys sort it out, you’re so good together. |
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By *greygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
wow if its not what you both want to do dont do it .we have a great time away from fab world .and youse fab for a bit of sex fun at our terms .we would never ask or expect one an another to do what not want to .if not fun for you [who ever you are dont do it] |
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Sounds like one of you is enjoying it more than the other.
Sounds like one of you is doing it for the other, and not for the both of you.
Sounds like you need to talk.
Properly and openly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ...
Sounds like one of you is enjoying it more than the other.
Sounds like one of you is doing it for the other, and not for the both of you.
Sounds like you need to talk.
Properly and openly."
Soooo British telecom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hide your profile and come back if and when you want to, that's what we do. If one of us doesn't want to play, then we don't play. Where's the fun if one of you isn't into it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some great advice on here. If you arent enjoying it I'm not sure how carrying on will improve things. As someone else said your wants and needs are equally as important as your partners. |
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"As far as I'm concerned swinging as a couple has to be for both of you, you both have to be getting something out of it or it will just lead to tension and bad feeling. Doing things to make someone else happy never works. Talk to him and explain how you feel. He needs to understand how selfish he is being if he forces you to continue.
I have tried expressing this to him but feel he thinks I'm over reacting maybe
Well try harder. If you don’t like this, stop. Say you’re not happy. Or just delete your profile and say ‘well I bloody told you’. That’s what I would do. I would never ever carry on if my partner expressed they weren’t 100% in and happy. "
All of this. It's a joint venture. If one of you isn't happy then you both need to take stock of that and see what you want to do as a couple so you are both happy.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Well tell him you hope he enjoys the other things without you. Xx |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
We did for nearly five years.
We're still alive.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ...
We did for nearly five years.
We're still alive.
A"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If either of us feels like taking a break from fab, we do so immediately and respect each other's decisions.
Our marriage comes first so we have to both want to be here.
Then in time, we will discuss whether to dip our toes back in.
We are definitely part timers though ha ha.
Eve. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have no relationship but have been mulling over the same thing for a couple weeks
I thought the same thing about 8 years ago, but I'm still here to bug you all  "
i want your hat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly let him carry on swinging as a single male with permission and you take a break....
After getting his messages deleted and being blocked...
He will soon come running back... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me.
That’s one of the first things in I’ve seen in 3 years that’s genuinely upsetting.
Hope you guys sort it out, you’re so good together. "
Thank you. I really hope we will be able to find a solution that suits both of us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honestly let him carry on swinging as a single male with permission and you take a break....
After getting his messages deleted and being blocked...
He will soon come running back..."
Fair point. |
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OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do."
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!! |
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"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!"
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it |
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"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it "
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo "
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone .... |
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"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone ...."
Smell like Alien or Muse as for the wallpaper not sure that you can still get it, it’s not cheap that’s for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
I'd say if you feel like that leave
If your partner loves you and respect your feelings they will do the same .
Never be forced . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me.
That’s one of the first things in I’ve seen in 3 years that’s genuinely upsetting.
Hope you guys sort it out, you’re so good together.
Thank you. I really hope we will be able to find a solution that suits both of us. "
If I had a female partner I'd love and respect her I'd respect her thoughts and feelings. .last thing on my mind would be to have sex with other women .
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone ....
Smell like Alien or Muse as for the wallpaper not sure that you can still get it, it’s not cheap that’s for sure."
Google the GUCCI wall paper
£120 a roll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm in a similar situation right now OP. Me and my other half met through fab so making the joint profile was one of the first thing we did, however I've never been really into swinging and a few days ago my partner expressed his wish to meet other women on his own, when I asked him if it would be a deal breaker if I wanted to stay monogamous he replied it might lead to our break up, because we want different things and he doesn't want to keep me in an unhappy relationship. Problem is so far our relationship has been nothing but amazing and I really believe he is the love of my life, but I'm not sure how much his affairs would hurt me.
That’s one of the first things in I’ve seen in 3 years that’s genuinely upsetting.
Hope you guys sort it out, you’re so good together.
Thank you. I really hope we will be able to find a solution that suits both of us.
If I had a female partner I'd love and respect her I'd respect her thoughts and feelings. .last thing on my mind would be to have sex with other women .
"
He loves me and cares about me very much and he's supporting me through all my ups and downs, but as much as it's selfish from him to ask for something like this, it would be selfish from me to ask him not to do it. Luckily for us we had another chat about it yesterday and found an option which we are both happy with so our problem is now sorted
OP I hope you will find your closure soon too. I will be thinking about you because I know it's not easy to get over it.
Kitten |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
This thread has made me genuinely sad.
As much as I understand your situation and the predicament that you feel that you're in, I think there should be simple and basic rules for swinging when you're a couple, one of them is; if it stops being fun for either of you then both stop and reevaluate.
To my mind, your relationship should always come first. The fact that he's dismissed your concerns and that you've come here to vent indicates that there is a communication issue between you somewhere.
Hide your profile, sit down and talk this through with each other before something happens to exacerbate the issue.
Good luck OP |
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"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone ....
Smell like Alien or Muse as for the wallpaper not sure that you can still get it, it’s not cheap that’s for sure.
Google the GUCCI wall paper
£120 a roll"
£160 a roll and as per usual needed the 4th drop so over 2/3rds of a roll sat in the loft  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone ....
Smell like Alien or Muse as for the wallpaper not sure that you can still get it, it’s not cheap that’s for sure."
Thank you , I think I might be able to afford it..
I’ve saved a few schillings.....
Off Topic , have you heard of this organic Japanese paint that blocks mold and bacteria from growing.....
This interior decorator is trying to push this on me... for $1500 per can...
|
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"OP Fab is just window shopping and a reference book.
Go enjoy each other and if you like the clubs then go there together.
If you plan to meet someone new, see if they are on here and check out their background, veris etc first.
We do.
On a side note.... I just looked at your pictures and noticed you had Gucci monogram wall paper.....
Niceeeeee !!!!!!
Thank you, you are only one of a very small few that have noticed it
P.S. may need to up my game if you are noticing the wallpaper.
The antique French mirror okay but I think it’s me that’s meant to the subject of the photo
Sorry I’m redecorating my apartment , so I’m looking at fabrics and wallpapers ideas....
It’s time to grow up and get rid of the sports and movie posters on the walls...
Btw you are stunning, I bet you smell like Joe Malone ....
Smell like Alien or Muse as for the wallpaper not sure that you can still get it, it’s not cheap that’s for sure.
Thank you , I think I might be able to afford it..
I’ve saved a few schillings.....
Off Topic , have you heard of this organic Japanese paint that blocks mold and bacteria from growing.....
This interior decorator is trying to push this on me... for $1500 per can...
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ..."
Your relationship is the primary importance. If you are a couple and stepped into fab together, each should understand that the other may wish to leave and respect that wish.
Communication and trust is key. The moment that fails. It is a slippery slope to unhappiness.
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"Does anyone else ever just feel like coming off fab and enjoying their relationship? I feel like I've had enough of being on here atm and have expressed this only my partner says we will once we have tried other things ...
Your relationship is the primary importance. If you are a couple and stepped into fab together, each should understand that the other may wish to leave and respect that wish.
Communication and trust is key. The moment that fails. It is a slippery slope to unhappiness.
"
Agree with you on that, communication is the single most important thing in any relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can see you’ve updated your status to say you’ll be leaving at the end of Jan. If you’re heart isn’t in this then leave now.
It really does sound like one is forcing the other so they can tick a few boxes. I couldn’t think of anything more unsexy and people would be able to pick up on vibes.
Your relationship is more important than fun for one, BOTH of you need to respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can see you’ve updated your status to say you’ll be leaving at the end of Jan. If you’re heart isn’t in this then leave now.
It really does sound like one is forcing the other so they can tick a few boxes. I couldn’t think of anything more unsexy and people would be able to pick up on vibes.
Your relationship is more important than fun for one, BOTH of you need to respect that. "
Agreed ^^^^^
If you want to leave and you’ve expressed this , yet your partner wants to stay - it’s not good
Leave now - a partnership is a two way thing , not a one way street |
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