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Christmas limericks

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

[Removed by poster at 17/12/18 20:42:34]

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

Christmas Eve we’re all down t’pub

Drinks a quiz, spirits wine and grub,

Lots of ale and cider we drank

Singing carols and in god we all thank,

Oh god! It’s Christmas morning

my heads pounding and sromach’s groaning

Still all is well and prezzies a plenty

So why on Boxing Day is house so empty

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A young man one cold xmas morn

Woke up with an almighty horn

He Rubbed at his Prick

Until it was Sick

While watching Santa and Elves making Porn

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By *afadaoMan over a year ago

Staines

There was an old man named Santa

Who shunned glasses of milk for Fanta

The fizz made him fart

Gave the reindeers a start

Who sped to a gallop from a canter

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

[Removed by poster at 17/12/18 22:08:54]

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

[Removed by poster at 17/12/18 22:09:45]

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

"Santa comes but once a year

But when he does you’ll shed a tear

Presents he does bring

Whilst the bells they do ring

But an elf sucked his cock

On Route to his flock

My god this means santa’s A queer xx

Sorry typo

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

A deer with a great big long nose

Walked up to a line of old pros

Stuck his nose in their cunts

Made snorts, wheezes and grunts

Now his nose glows as red as a rose.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There was a website called fab

Who's forums were all rather drab

But then one day, OP said hey!

I'll buy you all a drink and get the tab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There was a jolly man from the North Pole

Who made fucking women his goal

With his coat fluffy and red

He bent them over their bed

And stuck his cock deep in their hole.

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

"There was a website called fab

Who's forums were all rather drab

But then one day, OP said hey!

I'll buy you all a drink and get the tab

I didn’t

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

[Removed by poster at 17/12/18 22:25:25]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There was an old woman called Granny

Who had an amazing fat fanny

It wobbled like trifle

When she gave men an eyeful

Be they Brit , Russian or Pakistani.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There was an old woman called Granny

Who had an amazing fat fanny

It wobbled like trifle

When she gave men an eyeful

Be they Brit , Russian or Pakistani. "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"There was an old woman called Granny

Who had an amazing fat fanny

It wobbled like trifle

When she gave men an eyeful

Be they Brit , Russian or Pakistani.

There once lived a Rudolph Rip Rock

Who kept his dick warm in a sock

Till it peeped out one Winter's

And shattered to splinters

So we all laughed our fucking heads off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know limericks on Ireland if it helps

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There was an old woman called Granny

Who had an amazing fat fanny

It wobbled like trifle

When she gave men an eyeful

Be they Brit , Russian or Pakistani. "

That made my eyes cry with laughter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/12/18 23:32:39]

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By *tella Heels OP TV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

There was a young carrot called Kevin

At Christmas time he was in heaven,

Along came dirty susie

A use for Kevin shed see

Now Kevin’s inserted giving her seven

Inches

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There once a parsnip called Tucker

Knew a carrot and wanted to fuck her

But she had a vagina

Like the great wall of china

So he decided instead just to suck her.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Cock up the fart pipe at Christmas

There are those that would find that de-lish-ious

But to me nothing's fowler.

I want pork up my growler.

Cos shit on a dick is pernicious.

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