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Just got dumped by my FB.
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
That is a bit dissapointing.
It had morphed into a pseudo relationship before I embarked on my travels around the world. Currently in Melbourne and had been in tonga.
But she just said that she diddnt want to be my fuckbuddy as she had realised we would never be together and so meeting for casual sex was stopping her moving on.
I get that but it still leaves a bad feeling.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear that. Best thing though, if you can't give each other what you want.
My long term partner has threatened to remove me 3 times in the last year (whenever I'm too ill or too busy to meet him), and I have a little panic and feel sad for a while, but tell myself it's for the best. He hasn't done it yet though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A fb needs her man available
Your clearly not and expect her to jump when you click your fingers
Sorry to say I agree with her as your not there for her .
Fb or not she still has needs and needs respect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear that. Best thing though, if you can't give each other what you want.
My long term partner has threatened to remove me 3 times in the last year (whenever I'm too ill or too busy to meet him), and I have a little panic and feel sad for a while, but tell myself it's for the best. He hasn't done it yet though."
If he does I'm chatting you up instantly. .. |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"A fb needs her man available
Your clearly not and expect her to jump when you click your fingers
Sorry to say I agree with her as your not there for her .
Fb or not she still has needs and needs respect "
I did no such thing in terms of clicking my fingers. That is such a projection with no information to support it. She knew the deal when we met that I was going away for a while. We had just arranged when I would be back to see her next month.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here's my thoughts.
She's developing feelings and would feel as though she was cheating if she met others, or may not be able to deal with you meeting others while away.
You're not around to be there for her physically and possibly emotionally depending on how much time you can dedicate to her to communicate while you're away.
So she's kinda feeling in a limbo place, hence her needing to let go before feeling capable of moving on.
Even though we know the crack when we enter into these kinds of scenarios, we don't expect or sometimes want other feelings to develop but they take us by surprise.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The cheek of her changing her mind  the whole purpose of being a FB is that your there for certain needs obviously you weren’t there. I’m sorta surprised your shocked. |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"Here's my thoughts.
She's developing feelings and would feel as though she was cheating if she met others, or may not be able to deal with you meeting others while away.
You're not around to be there for her physically and possibly emotionally depending on how much time you can dedicate to her to communicate while you're away.
So she's kinda feeling in a limbo place, hence her needing to let go before feeling capable of moving on.
Even though we know the crack when we enter into these kinds of scenarios, we don't expect or sometimes want other feelings to develop but they take us by surprise.
P"
I think that is exactly it. Bang in the money.
I half expected it. She was seeing new people but looking FWD to seeing me as nothing serious going on. Then I mentioned I might have a meet and I think it hurt her. Broke the fantasy that we could be together.
Bleugh.
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"Them's the breaks. It's never nice to be told you're no longer required.
What's a pseudo relationship?"
So I was clear that I was not available for a relationship as I was in love with someone else. We met on a site for people looking for extra marital fun. She married, me not.
Then it got emotional from her side of things and she used to stay over for a few days. So had all the outer appearances of a relationship more than just fucking partners and we went out places together, but I couldn't commit as I was going out of the country. She knew that right from the start, was on my profile bio.
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"Them's the breaks. It's never nice to be told you're no longer required.
What's a pseudo relationship?
So I was clear that I was not available for a relationship as I was in love with someone else. We met on a site for people looking for extra marital fun. She married, me not.
Then it got emotional from her side of things and she used to stay over for a few days. So had all the outer appearances of a relationship more than just fucking partners and we went out places together, but I couldn't commit as I was going out of the country. She knew that right from the start, was on my profile bio.
"
You should be pleased then. Onwards and upwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's my thoughts.
She's developing feelings and would feel as though she was cheating if she met others, or may not be able to deal with you meeting others while away.
You're not around to be there for her physically and possibly emotionally depending on how much time you can dedicate to her to communicate while you're away.
So she's kinda feeling in a limbo place, hence her needing to let go before feeling capable of moving on.
Even though we know the crack when we enter into these kinds of scenarios, we don't expect or sometimes want other feelings to develop but they take us by surprise.
P
I think that is exactly it. Bang in the money.
I half expected it. She was seeing new people but looking FWD to seeing me as nothing serious going on. Then I mentioned I might have a meet and I think it hurt her. Broke the fantasy that we could be together.
Bleugh.
"
Some people can't handle the feelings they develop for a certain person and have to give them up, to save themselves heartache in the end.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Them's the breaks. It's never nice to be told you're no longer required.
What's a pseudo relationship?
So I was clear that I was not available for a relationship as I was in love with someone else. We met on a site for people looking for extra marital fun. She married, me not.
Then it got emotional from her side of things and she used to stay over for a few days. So had all the outer appearances of a relationship more than just fucking partners and we went out places together, but I couldn't commit as I was going out of the country. She knew that right from the start, was on my profile bio.
"
As she is married I think she played a dangerous game by carrying on seeing you, when she developed feelings towards you.
She certainly shouldn't have been staying over.
Maybe she was thinking of leaving her husband for you and didn't like that you weren't going to commit.
Like I said, it's for the best I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a Fwb a couple of years back that made it clear from the start he would eventually be wanting a 'real' relationship
I told him to let me know when he was more than just dating/fucking
He did
I wished him well
The end
I would never want to hold anyone back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Them's the breaks. It's never nice to be told you're no longer required.
What's a pseudo relationship?
So I was clear that I was not available for a relationship as I was in love with someone else. We met on a site for people looking for extra marital fun. She married, me not.
Then it got emotional from her side of things and she used to stay over for a few days. So had all the outer appearances of a relationship more than just fucking partners and we went out places together, but I couldn't commit as I was going out of the country. She knew that right from the start, was on my profile bio.
"
Lucky escape then.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah she eventually got found out and got a divorce.
I think it was good while it lasted but probably doomed once she got feelings for me.
As you say lucky escape.
Thanks fabbers.   "
Has her ending it made you realise that you have feelings for her? You could ask to see her when you get back.
If you don't have feelings, just wish her well. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tbh, she was probably wanting out from her marriage and realised it was a "frying pan/fire" scenario.
Sounds like it had run it's course- if you hadn't realised that it had evolved from the original agreement, without discussing it properly, then your communication wasn't that great! That's a basic in a good relationship. |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"Tbh, she was probably wanting out from her marriage and realised it was a "frying pan/fire" scenario.
Sounds like it had run it's course- if you hadn't realised that it had evolved from the original agreement, without discussing it properly, then your communication wasn't that great! That's a basic in a good relationship."
I realised and we talked about it, lots. She was very open about as was I about my boundaries and what I could give her.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I really don't think I made her out to be a bunny boiler.
Honestly, the things people come up with in here. "
Firstly you tell us that you got dumped which happens, then to explain you tell us that she’s married, got jealous when you might meet someone else. What would you call it |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"Oh and if you were "in love with someone else" why would you "let her stay over for a few days"? I don't get it?"
As I was looking for a bit of fun before I went away and maybe help me get over the other girl and move on a bit.
Couples on here love each other but play away. I loved this other woman but couldn't have her. |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"And I really don't think I made her out to be a bunny boiler.
Honestly, the things people come up with in here.
Firstly you tell us that you got dumped which happens, then to explain you tell us that she’s married, got jealous when you might meet someone else. What would you call it "
She was married when we met. Not anymore.
I would never have a go at people for their feelings.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and if you were "in love with someone else" why would you "let her stay over for a few days"? I don't get it?
As I was looking for a bit of fun before I went away and maybe help me get over the other girl and move on a bit.
Couples on here love each other but play away. I loved this other woman but couldn't have her. "
That sounds horrid- I do hope she doesn't read that- it comes across as using her.
I won't say any more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I really don't think I made her out to be a bunny boiler.
Honestly, the things people come up with in here.
Firstly you tell us that you got dumped which happens, then to explain you tell us that she’s married, got jealous when you might meet someone else. What would you call it
She was married when we met. Not anymore.
I would never have a go at people for their feelings.
"
She obviously felt it was finished and wanted to move on . Probably could think clearly with you away. If she’s going though separation or divorce it’s a vulnerable time for people might need her own space. Not getting at you op as I’m sure you’ll find another fuck buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I really don't think I made her out to be a bunny boiler.
Honestly, the things people come up with in here.
Firstly you tell us that you got dumped which happens, then to explain you tell us that she’s married, got jealous when you might meet someone else. What would you call it "
I disagree, saying someone was jealous doesn't infer they are a bunny boiler.  |
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By *ired_up OP Man
over a year ago
ashton |
"Oh and if you were "in love with someone else" why would you "let her stay over for a few days"? I don't get it?
As I was looking for a bit of fun before I went away and maybe help me get over the other girl and move on a bit.
Couples on here love each other but play away. I loved this other woman but couldn't have her.
That sounds horrid- I do hope she doesn't read that- it comes across as using her.
I won't say any more."
Hang on. Previous to that I have said we went out. Went on weekends together. Cooked for each other. Had a pseudo relationship. Proper connection. We were good together. It's really hard to put an 8 month thing into a forum post.
I realise I'm not putting it over well but I was replying to each point people made individually rather than having to give loads of info and repeat things. Maybe I should have put more info.
We met on a site for people looking for fun. She was looking for fun as the spark had gone out. We both got more than we bargained for to be fair. Initially we both just wanted sex but it developed into more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and if you were "in love with someone else" why would you "let her stay over for a few days"? I don't get it?
As I was looking for a bit of fun before I went away and maybe help me get over the other girl and move on a bit.
Couples on here love each other but play away. I loved this other woman but couldn't have her.
That sounds horrid- I do hope she doesn't read that- it comes across as using her.
I won't say any more.
Hang on. Previous to that I have said we went out. Went on weekends together. Cooked for each other. Had a pseudo relationship. Proper connection. We were good together. It's really hard to put an 8 month thing into a forum post.
I realise I'm not putting it over well but I was replying to each point people made individually rather than having to give loads of info and repeat things. Maybe I should have put more info.
We met on a site for people looking for fun. She was looking for fun as the spark had gone out. We both got more than we bargained for to be fair. Initially we both just wanted sex but it developed into more. "
You don't have to defend yourself to strangers. You know the truth. I think less information is a good thing- only give the info that you want to and you feel is relevant.
You'll also get slated for revealing too much.... |
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