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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right prove you are not all just pretty faces and tell your best jokes!
I just saw a guy running down the road with a Cape on.
I shouted, "Are you a Superhero?".
He said, "No, I haven't paid for my haircut!".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lad hurries in to his dad excitedly shouting "Dad! Dad, I've just had sex for the first time!".
Dad replies, " that's awesome Son. Come and sit down and tell me all about it!".
Son replies, " dad, I can't sit down"
Dad replies back " why's that Son?"
Son answers " my arse is still sore. That's why.".
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By *ony 2016Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield /derby cinemas |
I saw a friend of mine in town yesterday , he has only got one arm , I asked him what he was up to today and he said he was going to change a lightbulb , "that might be a bit awkward "I said , sympathetically , "no not really " he replied " I've got the receipt " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
Sorry I’ll get my coat
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
"I saw a friend of mine in town yesterday , he has only got one arm , I asked him what he was up to today and he said he was going to change a lightbulb , "that might be a bit awkward "I said , sympathetically , "no not really " he replied " I've got the receipt ""
He’s probably quite ‘armless! |
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So an elephant is walking down a jungle path when she spots a mouse . She stops and asks the mouse if it could scratch an itchy spot on her back , and in return the mouse can do anything it wants .
So the mouse scurries up and scratches the itch and the elephant says ‘ that’s amazing , so anything at all I can do for you ? ‘ , ‘well I’ve always wanted to fuck an elephant ‘ the mouse says and the elephant says no problem .
Off to the back of the elephant goes the mouse , slips in under its tail and starts fucking it . Meanwhile a couple of monkeys have been watching from high up in a coconut tree , and they start jumping up and down screaming with laughter at the sight of this mouse fucking the elephant , so much so that a coconut falls from the tree right on the elephants head ! ‘ OUCH ‘ cries the elephant , so the mouse stops and says ‘ sorry am I hurting you ? ‘ |
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Little Johnny's mum is having a shower when Johnny walks in, looking down at his mums hairy Bush he asks his mum, what is that his mum replied oh that's my sponge, next day mum comes home from shopping and asks Johnny where his dad is Johnny replies, he up stairs washing his face with auntie jeans sponge |
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