FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > question to the swingles
question to the swingles
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Or those looking for something more than nsa.
I've been single a bit now, I've made no secret I'd like a lady in my life, it might be because of the time of year or other deeper thinking, uWe all have our preferences, I know I have maybe I'm setting the bar too high, do you think you'd compromise on them to find the significant other ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think it's necessarily about compromise as such.. we all have physical attributes that we find attractive so veer towards these in an online environment. However there's no substitute for meeting someone in the flesh and just fancying something about them.. at which point 'type' can go straight out of the window.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Depends on what you think is setting the bar too high. Yes we all have preferences and sometimes someone can come along and not be a match in all of them but the important ones they are. Then it’s up to you do you want to compromise your wants, are they really a deal breaker or not. I think Christmas can compound the sense of loneliness because it’s centred around families.
I guess what I’m saying is that for somethings yes I made a compromise but there are others that I wouldn’t budge on x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most people compromise.
Though wont admit to it 
I think the longer you stay single the harder it is to find someone who fits in with your life - as it has become just that - YOUR life.
I'm not sure what I want anymore.
NSA has lost its appeal - but then I don't want a full on relationship.
I don't want to live with anyone and do the mundane - but then I'd like to share fun times with someone I care about.
I'm not sure it exists  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *affy72Woman
over a year ago
Herefordshire |
There are some things that are easier to compromise on than others so I guess a bit of flexibility on preferences could work. It's good to be picky/have standards though as why settle on aspects that in the long term could potentially become an issue?
Hope you find what you're looking for OP. It's difficult out there... god knows I've been searching for someone compatible/decent for many years  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or those looking for something more than nsa.
I've been single a bit now, I've made no secret I'd like a lady in my life, it might be because of the time of year or other deeper thinking, uWe all have our preferences, I know I have maybe I'm setting the bar too high, do you think you'd compromise on them to find the significant other ?"
You don't need to compromise just because your not sucessfull on hear.
You should try offline instead. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ruly50Woman
over a year ago
ely |
"Most people compromise.
Though wont admit to it
I think the longer you stay single the harder it is to find someone who fits in with your life - as it has become just that - YOUR life.
I'm not sure what I want anymore.
NSA has lost its appeal - but then I don't want a full on relationship.
I don't want to live with anyone and do the mundane - but then I'd like to share fun times with someone I care about.
I'm not sure it exists "
This  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hmmmm if you got most couples to right down their ideal ... it very rarely matches their life choice! But that doesn't mean they've compromised, just that love has nothing to do with the perfect ideal.
This modern world of instant perfection is leading to so much unhappiness ... your idea of what you're looking for might not be able to make you laugh until you're both crying actually that person we envisage holding hands with walking down the beach at sunset might be the opposite in real life from our dreams.
Let's face it, with the perfection of the movies, porn and social media ... is happiness with another actually achievable anymore?
Please let me know any answers to this modern day conundrum... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hmmmm if you got most couples to right down their ideal ... it very rarely matches their life choice! But that doesn't mean they've compromised, just that love has nothing to do with the perfect ideal.
This modern world of instant perfection is leading to so much unhappiness ... your idea of what you're looking for might not be able to make you laugh until you're both crying actually that person we envisage holding hands with walking down the beach at sunset might be the opposite in real life from our dreams.
Let's face it, with the perfection of the movies, porn and social media ... is happiness with another actually achievable anymore?
Please let me know any answers to this modern day conundrum... "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The bar is set high for a reason. It’s someone you want to spend the rest of your days with. I hear from the lucky ones who found their soulmates that they weren’t on the wishlist but tore up the rule book anyhow.
I’m in no hurry to find mine. I trust we’ll find each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I actually met someone off here and we had 5 great years together.
It wasn't my intention to ever go into a relationship off this site and we wasn't comparable in anyway, but it worked so I'd just go with the flow. Love turns up in mysterious packages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
If it's who you really want then it's not compromise it just accepting that no rules, no tick boxes of things you may be looking for matter, as much as that need to be with the other.
Life doesn't follow formulas.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I can't do NSA anymore, in fact I don't think I ever could.
However, I am not looking for a full relationship either.
I ideally want a part time friend, where the sex is good, conversation better and not just limited to the bedroom.
I don't think I am looking for much, however, it does appear to be nigh on impossible.
But I can't compromise, and therefore will continue not having sex until I can find someone that at least piques my interest, as it's already been nearly two years as it is, why stop now?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Or those looking for something more than nsa.
I've been single a bit now, I've made no secret I'd like a lady in my life, it might be because of the time of year or other deeper thinking, uWe all have our preferences, I know I have maybe I'm setting the bar too high, do you think you'd compromise on them to find the significant other ?"
It seems so restrictive to have lists of what we must have in a person, to think we could like them. Cast your net a bit wider, its nothing to do with compromise, its opening yourself up to greater possibilities instead ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm in the same boat.
You have to think about the numbers. There's a depressing graph on the the office for national statistics site that indicates that in the 40 to 50 age group, only about 20% of the population is single. Sadly the ONS haven't got any stats on how many of these are arseholes, miserable bastards, minging, gay, shorter than me...etc.
So yes, compromise is probably a good idea. I'm cool with the short guys now. 
On the bright side OP, when you get to your 70s, there are way more single women than met out there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I find this interesting, I understand that in the digital world we make a conscious decision about who we would paint as our ideal person, what we 'think' we want. In the digital world that's exactly what we aim for and try to stick to.
However in reality what we want may well be totally different, there's no rationality for how someone makes you laugh or the way they look at you, in spite of not being what we thought we wanted.
I think the issue comes when we don't recognise that sometimes the heart wants what it wants, and we're inflexible in going with what is a possibility for what actually could make us happy.
It's not a case of compromise, it's a case of knowing that sometimes we don't always know ourselves |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find this interesting, I understand that in the digital world we make a conscious decision about who we would paint as our ideal person, what we 'think' we want. In the digital world that's exactly what we aim for and try to stick to.
However in reality what we want may well be totally different, there's no rationality for how someone makes you laugh or the way they look at you, in spite of not being what we thought we wanted.
I think the issue comes when we don't recognise that sometimes the heart wants what it wants, and we're inflexible in going with what is a possibility for what actually could make us happy.
It's not a case of compromise, it's a case of knowing that sometimes we don't always know ourselves "
Exactly this. Well put. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find this interesting, I understand that in the digital world we make a conscious decision about who we would paint as our ideal person, what we 'think' we want. In the digital world that's exactly what we aim for and try to stick to.
However in reality what we want may well be totally different, there's no rationality for how someone makes you laugh or the way they look at you, in spite of not being what we thought we wanted.
I think the issue comes when we don't recognise that sometimes the heart wants what it wants, and we're inflexible in going with what is a possibility for what actually could make us happy.
It's not a case of compromise, it's a case of knowing that sometimes we don't always know ourselves "
Very profound! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I'm in the same boat.
You have to think about the numbers. There's a depressing graph on the the office for national statistics site that indicates that in the 40 to 50 age group, only about 20% of the population is single. Sadly the ONS haven't got any stats on how many of these are arseholes, miserable bastards, minging, gay, shorter than me...etc.
So yes, compromise is probably a good idea. I'm cool with the short guys now.
On the bright side OP, when you get to your 70s, there are way more single women than met out there. "
That's something I have to look forward to.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest, I've become a little disillusioned with this lifestyle and want something far more meaningful in my life. To that end, I am at the point where I'm ready to try this relationship malarkey again. Compromises always need to be made, on either side. It's that one thing that has stopped me from diving in and giving it another go with someone very special to me... I think I may finally be ready though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why people keep referring to comprise I don't understand at all ... Why can't you let go of the ideal and go with the flow?Why not meet real people in real life and see? The adventure would be fun on its own surely? A bonus would be that you might actually learn new things about yourself by being more opened minded and guess what? You might just meet the one ... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I let go of the ideal long ago. All I'm saying is that there's a very, very small pool of singles out there, many of whom haven't let go of their own ideal, many who simply won't fancy me. I've done dating, joined clubs and societies, jumped on every social opportunity that comes my way, created my own, and even changed my job so I get to interact with more people. Apart from a smile from a cute guy at the gym, meeting people in "real life" simply isn't happening. I'm going with the flow, but the flow is more of a trickle.
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"If I don't start compromising a bit I'm going to be on my lonesome for ever. "
When you meet the one you will know, the other thoughts of must be this that and the other goes out of the window doesn't it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
I think we definitely restrict ourselves by having a set criteria of our dream person. Your ideal may look good on paper but in reality be completely incompatible.
Im only 5'3" so can't jump over those high bars, but i can make a guy giggle whilst i limbo under it and knock it off with my boobs  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't really have any set idea of what I want. I just figure when I meet someone I'll know.
Even on a NSA basis I have no rules apart from the obvious cleanliness and non-dickhead ones. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you’re looking for a life partner I don’t think you should compromise - at the end of the day you know what you want it’s jusy a case of finding that person and they can come along when you least expect it
That’s just my personal opinion |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If I don't start compromising a bit I'm going to be on my lonesome for ever.
When you meet the one you will know, the other thoughts of must be this that and the other goes out of the window doesn't it. "
I hope so. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
