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tell me a joke I'm bored
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man phones his wife from the hospital. He tells her about his accident at work, and that he lost a finger on the band saw.
She asks ,“The whole finger?”
“No, the one next to it.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're ever in Africa and come face to face with a lion, take one step sideways and then one step back.
Repeating this process lets you move obliquely away from the lion and prevents you from standing in your own shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went on Dragon's Den the other night & showed them my Dads shotgun. Peter Jones said "and what's your idea?
I replied "its simple, just put the money in the bag dick head!!". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs.
I couldn't help thinking, 'If I could do that I wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" if you eat a packet of tic tacs your farts will smell minty Your welcome "
Your not suppose to eat them through your arsehole. Mind due I talk through mine  |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Mary had a little skirt,
With slits right up the sides,
And every time she crossed her legs,
The boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt,
With a slit right up the front,
She never wore that one. |
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Posted this before but it still makes me laugh... For all those fast show fans..
Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street and one says
"Ooo Ooo I've never come this way before" and the other one says
"I'm not surprised. There's road works and a diversion" |
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My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... do I keep the letters?  |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Man in pub talking to his mate.
"I just don't understand my wife. All the popular Xmas presents these days start with an I. So I got one daughter an I- Phone, the other an I-Pad, and my wife an I-Ron. She went ballistic!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I went on Dragon's Den the other night & showed them my Dads shotgun. Peter Jones said "and what's your idea?
I replied "its simple, just put the money in the bag dick head!!"."
 |
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lol 
