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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spend time with your parents and treat them well, because one day when you look up from your phone...they won’t be there  "
I have followed this mantra all my life ... Even when they have "annoyed/upset/irritated" me and thankfully I still can x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one parent died when i was just eleven years old, the other has chosen not to have anything to do with me since my second child was born, going on eight years now....... no i don’t know the reason why   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"one parent died when i was just eleven years old, the other has chosen not to have anything to do with me since my second child was born, going on eight years now....... no i don’t know the reason why "
Ask them? |
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"Spend time with your parents and treat them well, because one day when you look up from your phone...they won’t be there
That's a bonus for me  "
That’s really sad ...but you obviously have your reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spend time with your parents and treat them well, because one day when you look up from your phone...they won’t be there "
Cause they’ve moved to Eastbourne ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
That's really sad to read, but I realise there are plenty of people in this world who are majorly unpleasant individuals, and it's sad that your parents are in that bracket |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sister died in 2005, my dad nearly 6 years ago, my mum earlier this year. I miss them all terribly, I'd do anything to just have another 5 minutes with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
I’m in the same bracket but only recently have I cut them out, they aren’t good for my mental or physical health and I wish i had seen the light when I was younger because it would have stopped a lot of heartache and hurt to myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both my parents and Marks parents are no longer with us but we try to model our Christmas in the way they did and try our best to carry on their ways and traditions, as we had some fabulous times when they were here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as I appreciate the thought and sentiment behind this post I speak to my mum maybe 2 or 3 times a month
As harsh and cold as it sounds the only tears I will cry when my dad dies will be tears of happiness and joy he is the only person I can say I really truly hate and dispise
I haven't spoken to him for over 30 years and the only reason I will go to his funeral is to make sure he is dead
Sorry if this offends anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
Yea what he said.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spend time with your parents and treat them well, because one day when you look up from your phone...they won’t be there "
Unless they are Fred and Rose West |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I appreciate the thought and sentiment behind this post I speak to my mum maybe 2 or 3 times a month
As harsh and cold as it sounds the only tears I will cry when my dad dies will be tears of happiness and joy he is the only person I can say I really truly hate and dispise
I haven't spoken to him for over 30 years and the only reason I will go to his funeral is to make sure he is dead
Sorry if this offends anyone"
I was like this with my step father, when he passed. I went to the funeral to support my mum, not to mourn him.
My mother and I have rebuilt our relationship since his passing 9 years ago though.
I hope you find some peace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel lucky to have the parents I do. I had a happy childhood and they have supported me through my adult life (including giving advice I haven't asked for!!). I love how our relationship has changed and the transition for them to being grandparents is adorable.
I spend a lot of time with them and speak at least once a day on the phone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spend time with your parents and treat them well, because one day when you look up from your phone...they won’t be there "
That is very much dependant on your parents though, and excuse my language please. But my Father was a Cunt and I don't miss him for a single second, which is sad, but that's life. My Mother however was my hero, my best friend, my rock,my mentor and everything else inbetween and there is not a second of any day that I don't wish she was still by my side giving me guidance. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I appreciate the sentiment of your thread OP and many people have wonderful and nurturing relationships with their parents, I recognise that for the wonderful thing that it is.
Sadly this year I finally turned my back on mine after years of pain and trauma. I feel better and happier for making this decision and moving forwards on my own. I've learnt how to be a better father through it all and if that's the positive I learn then I thank them for showing me how not to do it. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Lost my lovely Mum 2 years ago, she loved Christmas. Still have my lovely Dad, whom I love and cherish every day. They gave me a happy, loving and secure childhood, yes I know I'm one of the lucky ones |
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By *lsieWoman
over a year ago
where ever |
"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
Me too.
Hugs x |
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"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love
Me too.
Hugs x"
.
It's fine, I understand that some hate their parents for whatever reason, we can't pick our family as the saying goes. The thread wasn't really started on that basis but of course all contributions are valid, I do find it sad that some have these issues with parents ...I loved mine and miss them, they loved me too despite me being somewhat of a disappointment, especially to my dad for "obvious reasons" . |
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"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
Agreed. |
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By *andK78Couple
over a year ago
Newport |
"I haven't spoken to my parents for over a decade and turn my back on their toxicity was the best thing I've ever done. I hate posts like this, I know they are well intentioned but I hate the projection of "you'll miss them when they've gone" because no I really won't. Some of us don't have parents worthy of our time let alone our love"
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My parents are very elderly as you might imagine. We're very involved in their care which entails a great deal more than practical help. I love my parents dearly and don't need to be reminded to look up from my phone but some days I'd like to be able to express how frustrating, stressful and annoying it can be to help look after them without people telling me how lucky I am. I *know* how lucky I am.
Ps they both have all their faculties so this is as difficult for them as it is for me |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"My parents are very elderly as you might imagine. We're very involved in their care which entails a great deal more than practical help. I love my parents dearly and don't need to be reminded to look up from my phone but some days I'd like to be able to express how frustrating, stressful and annoying it can be to help look after them without people telling me how lucky I am. I *know* how lucky I am.
Ps they both have all their faculties so this is as difficult for them as it is for me"
I understand this. My dad lives on his own but has become more dependent on us, so much so, that I feel like the parent sometime! However, he, along with my mum, invested a lot of time and care in us and I am more than happy to keep him comfortable and secure, in his last little while, he has left |
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"My parents are very elderly as you might imagine. We're very involved in their care which entails a great deal more than practical help. I love my parents dearly and don't need to be reminded to look up from my phone but some days I'd like to be able to express how frustrating, stressful and annoying it can be to help look after them without people telling me how lucky I am. I *know* how lucky I am.
Ps they both have all their faculties so this is as difficult for them as it is for me
I understand this. My dad lives on his own but has become more dependent on us, so much so, that I feel like the parent sometime! However, he, along with my mum, invested a lot of time and care in us and I am more than happy to keep him comfortable and secure, in his last little while, he has left "
Yes, me too, I don't resent one second of the time I spend with them. It's just now and again (a phone call this morning for instance) it would be nice to vent without judgment. Mr N must get fed up with it  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"My parents are very elderly as you might imagine. We're very involved in their care which entails a great deal more than practical help. I love my parents dearly and don't need to be reminded to look up from my phone but some days I'd like to be able to express how frustrating, stressful and annoying it can be to help look after them without people telling me how lucky I am. I *know* how lucky I am.
Ps they both have all their faculties so this is as difficult for them as it is for me
I understand this. My dad lives on his own but has become more dependent on us, so much so, that I feel like the parent sometime! However, he, along with my mum, invested a lot of time and care in us and I am more than happy to keep him comfortable and secure, in his last little while, he has left
Yes, me too, I don't resent one second of the time I spend with them. It's just now and again (a phone call this morning for instance) it would be nice to vent without judgment. Mr N must get fed up with it "
I know... |
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"My parents are very elderly as you might imagine. We're very involved in their care which entails a great deal more than practical help. I love my parents dearly and don't need to be reminded to look up from my phone but some days I'd like to be able to express how frustrating, stressful and annoying it can be to help look after them without people telling me how lucky I am. I *know* how lucky I am.
Ps they both have all their faculties so this is as difficult for them as it is for me
I understand this. My dad lives on his own but has become more dependent on us, so much so, that I feel like the parent sometime! However, he, along with my mum, invested a lot of time and care in us and I am more than happy to keep him comfortable and secure, in his last little while, he has left
Yes, me too, I don't resent one second of the time I spend with them. It's just now and again (a phone call this morning for instance) it would be nice to vent without judgment. Mr N must get fed up with it
I know... "
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I like this by Philip Larkin
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
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"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy. "
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you} |
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"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy.
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you} "
Hugs from me too, I was actually in tears when I made the original post .. I do get where some others are coming from though |
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"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy.
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you}
Hugs from me too, I was actually in tears when I made the original post .. I do get where some others are coming from though"
I think most people appreciate that some have different experiences of their parents than others.
Your post was thoughtful |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy.
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you}
Hugs from me too, I was actually in tears when I made the original post .. I do get where some others are coming from though
I think most people appreciate that some have different experiences of their parents than others.
Your post was thoughtful "
I agree, I appreciate the sentiment in which it was written. If anything I'm glad that others have different relationships with their parents, as it makes me have hope for mine with my kids.
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"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy.
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you}
Hugs from me too, I was actually in tears when I made the original post .. I do get where some others are coming from though
I think most people appreciate that some have different experiences of their parents than others.
Your post was thoughtful
I agree, I appreciate the sentiment in which it was written. If anything I'm glad that others have different relationships with their parents, as it makes me have hope for mine with my kids.
"
I think many of us learn how not to do things from our parents  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like this by Philip Larkin
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
"
I like that too |
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A mate of mine used to have terrible issues with his mum, i told him he only gets one and that he should get his shot together. He kinda listened.
Few months later went off the rails again, that time i punched him to bring the point home.
Fine ever since. Shes not dead, but thats not the point  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I miss my parents so much. Christmas was my Mums favourite time of year. She’s in my thoughts whenever I do anything Christmassy.
Me too. Often have a little cry when I think of them both, especially at this ‘family’ time of year.
{hugs to you}
Hugs from me too, I was actually in tears when I made the original post .. I do get where some others are coming from though"
{{Hugs}} Great post  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Op -but what about those that have prize cunts for parents -yes I'm looking at you abusers and neglecters!"
There are plenty of those about, unfortunately, just glad that my parents weren't like that and feel sorry for those that did /do have parents like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As much as I appreciate the thought and sentiment behind this post I speak to my mum maybe 2 or 3 times a month
As harsh and cold as it sounds the only tears I will cry when my dad dies will be tears of happiness and joy he is the only person I can say I really truly hate and dispise
I haven't spoken to him for over 30 years and the only reason I will go to his funeral is to make sure he is dead
Sorry if this offends anyone
I was like this with my step father, when he passed. I went to the funeral to support my mum, not to mourn him.
My mother and I have rebuilt our relationship since his passing 9 years ago though.
I hope you find some peace."
I won't mourn or shed a year of sadness
I have found peace and will find more when does the world a favour and stops breathing
As I said some people think that I'm cold and heartless but they need to walk in my shoes before casting any aspurtions |
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