FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > is this really what single guys need to do.
is this really what single guys need to do.
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We didn't get your point? If you could just hang on a few weeks whilst we digest your post we will get back to you with a meaningful response, probably about 3am on a Tuesday. If you don't reply by 3.10am on said Tuesday we will report this thread as a waste of time.  |
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too! "
Amen sista!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too! "
Exactly 
It's manky - I can't be arsed with it.
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We don't expect single men to sit around waiting for us. If neither of us is available when the other is its clear we're not destined to meet.
We're getting a tiny bit tired of being expected to be available during the middle of the week though. It's almost as if single guys expect us to be ready and waiting when they're available... |
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I don't keep anyone on the 'subs bench'
I make it quite clear if someone messages me, who I maybe intrested in, that I have practically zero free time.
I've planned my childfree weekends several months in advance.
I may get an unexpected free day pop up now & then, but it is always with very short notice.
If they want to carry on chatting, with the possibility of that happening then that's their choice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too! "
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives. |
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"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives. "
I don't think they all are. The divorce rate is such that it's likely there are a good proportion of men will be genuinely single.
As a couple though we get a bit fed up of being relegated to the mid week match. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I was interested in someone I’d chat with them until we find a mutually agreeable opportunity to meet. At no time does that leave me feeling I’m on the subs bench.
If It turned out that I was obviously being used as a reserve until better offers come along then it would be block and delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
"
omg really I did do this once a few years ago ended up being a very sexy meet with a couple from here, I had been chatting for a while but they were so popular it's was pointless trying to keep contact but loved that meet |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives. "
Ahh the line that's often used...single guys are married,
I'd suggest the vast majority of reasons a single lady or couple aren't free apply to a single guy as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
"
I think you are missing the point. There is a massive difference between "putting your life in hold' and being flexible when you can meet |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
I think you are missing the point. There is a massive difference between "putting your life in hold' and being flexible when you can meet"
All folk need to be flexible it takes at least two parties after all.
the quote was "jumping up and dropping everything when they've been kept on the sub's bench for months", that doesn't seem to be asking a guy to be flexible  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lived on the subs bench. It is shit.
Some people are content to be a Stunt Cock whenever someone snaps their fingers.
My heart pumps crimson piss whenever I see posts bereating the lack of available guys whenever the couple (or women) decide right now is playtime.
They have lives and problems with availability. If you don't plan in advance, it isn't our issue.
If you need a stunt cock last minute, do what we are told to do and go to a club. |
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I have never expected a man to be available at the drop of a hat. Like many on here I do understand that we all have real lives as well and prefer to arrange for a suitable date that is suitable to everyone
I am however always getting messages expecting me to drop everything and go and meet someone I have never spoken to before late afternoon night/early in the morning |
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By *lsieWoman
over a year ago
where ever |
"I have never expected a man to be available at the drop of a hat. Like many on here I do understand that we all have real lives as well and prefer to arrange for a suitable date that is suitable to everyone
I am however always getting messages expecting me to drop everything and go and meet someone I have never spoken to before late afternoon night/early in the morning "
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"I have never expected a man to be available at the drop of a hat. Like many on here I do understand that we all have real lives as well and prefer to arrange for a suitable date that is suitable to everyone
I am however always getting messages expecting me to drop everything and go and meet someone I have never spoken to before late afternoon night/early in the morning "
I get it a lot if I can't sleep and log in either in the middle of the night, or really early in the morning. |
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Ha ha crazy but true this is why I like to chat and get to know someone first, try and arrange a social before hand. Way too many fakes on here for my liking especially with couples where the wife is out walking the dog, washing her hair, dropping the kids off at the pool etc....
Just because I have a life and can't meet at your demand doesn't make me a timewaster. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get much free time
I plan meets that work situation wise (and that I like clearly)
Some men chat to me regularly but the accommodation/potential I'd like isn't there
Not keeping them on a reserve list as such but if a mutually agreeable situation arises I would happily meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys need to do what they feel is right for them surely. None of us should be pawns in game.  "
True, we're all of our own free will. Play the game however's best for you, most imoortantly enjoy it! This is a place for fun after all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never expected a man to be available at the drop of a hat. Like many on here I do understand that we all have real lives as well and prefer to arrange for a suitable date that is suitable to everyone
I am however always getting messages expecting me to drop everything and go and meet someone I have never spoken to before late afternoon night/early in the morning "
Ive called a few out on that when they have messaged similair from being an hour away at 1 am or something . I dont think they really mean it, just killing time whilst they digest the kebab.  |
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I think you missed the point OP. The numbers of people available at conventionally workable times (say, Saturday afternoon to give you a bit of time to prepare for a nice evening) for those with a regular schedule is much lower than the number of people who will slag you off because, shock, 2am on a Tuesday (but of insomnia) isn't a time I'm going to jump to right now. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
"
tell me with thread this comes from.... and i'll tell them exactly what i "think" of this post......
spoiler coming: pish...... but in a much longer format! |
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"I have never expected a man to be available at the drop of a hat. Like many on here I do understand that we all have real lives as well and prefer to arrange for a suitable date that is suitable to everyone
I am however always getting messages expecting me to drop everything and go and meet someone I have never spoken to before late afternoon night/early in the morning
I get it a lot if I can't sleep and log in either in the middle of the night, or really early in the morning."
So so I
I logged in about 5 this morning got a message from a man staying in a hotel who was bored as his partner was asleep and wanted me to go and join them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys need to do what they feel is right for them surely. None of us should be pawns in game. "
for some it's a game, for others it's life and for others it's just fulfilling a need a momentary need. |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
tell me with thread this comes from.... and i'll tell them exactly what i "think" of this post......
spoiler coming: pish...... but in a much longer format!"
https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/829733 |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I think you missed the point OP. The numbers of people available at conventionally workable times (say, Saturday afternoon to give you a bit of time to prepare for a nice evening) for those with a regular schedule is much lower than the number of people who will slag you off because, shock, 2am on a Tuesday (but of insomnia) isn't a time I'm going to jump to right now. "
I've not missed the point, the couple who posted this have since posted again on that thread reiterating they expect guys to jump and drop everything.
If it works for them fine, it's not something I'd expect anyone to do certainly not what I would do either. I've said it before I consider fab a two way street.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So much time on here spent by so many people being negative dismissive critical and sometimes down right offensive about others they may never have met. The typical them and us stereotypes seem to pervade every thread, discontent in so many posts, a world looked at only in a negative light...
Not all on here are perfect. Not all on here will ever share common ground. Some on here are indeed rude and offensive. But when because of one or more bad experiences we write off whole swathes of others prejudging them by the actions of others who may have treated us in ways we didn't like do we ever stop to think individuals are individuals....not an amorphous blob where one person's actions taint our opinions of whole groups of people?
Where is the  ?
Wanders back to man cave to ride out the howls of indignation...
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"I think you missed the point OP. The numbers of people available at conventionally workable times (say, Saturday afternoon to give you a bit of time to prepare for a nice evening) for those with a regular schedule is much lower than the number of people who will slag you off because, shock, 2am on a Tuesday (but of insomnia) isn't a time I'm going to jump to right now.
I've not missed the point, the couple who posted this have since posted again on that thread reiterating they expect guys to jump and drop everything.
If it works for them fine, it's not something I'd expect anyone to do certainly not what I would do either. I've said it before I consider fab a two way street. "
It is a two way street, and guys are actually just as guilty of it as women. Also in my experience women and couples will take my deletion or no, while men will question my right to be on the site if I'm not looking to fuck them right this second.
I sometimes go looking for last minute meets, and you'll be astonished to hear, given I lack a penis, that my approach is "if you happen to be about... no worries, another time". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Subs bench" that is interesting and probably happens frequently on here. As a single guy I think of myself equal to couples and single women on here.
I don't jump through hoops, chat when it is only convenient or do what others want me to do. If there is no mutual respect or understanding the communication will fizzle out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So much time on here spent by so many people being negative dismissive critical and sometimes down right offensive about others they may never have met. The typical them and us stereotypes seem to pervade every thread, discontent in so many posts, a world looked at only in a negative light...
Not all on here are perfect. Not all on here will ever share common ground. Some on here are indeed rude and offensive. But when because of one or more bad experiences we write off whole swathes of others prejudging them by the actions of others who may have treated us in ways we didn't like do we ever stop to think individuals are individuals....not an amorphous blob where one person's actions taint our opinions of whole groups of people?
Where is the ?
Wanders back to man cave to ride out the howls of indignation...
"
and so you should, happy Christmas by the way |
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"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives. "
I think some are - but a lot of younger guys are out with friends at the weekend having a ‘normal ‘ social life - and that (understandably perhaps) is their priority at the weekend! A lot see swinging as something to shove in on weekdays.
However - many single females are single parents too - and, like me, tend to have their kids most weekdays. Our free ‘swinging ‘ time tends to be every other weekend. And therein lies the problem! Hence I ended up going to a swinging party alone last night - in spite of the (allegedly) thousands of guys on the site that are all super keen to meet!
It’s a bit of a catch 22 really! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives.
I think some are - but a lot of younger guys are out with friends at the weekend having a ‘normal ‘ social life - and that (understandably perhaps) is their priority at the weekend! A lot see swinging as something to shove in on weekdays.
However - many single females are single parents too - and, like me, tend to have their kids most weekdays. Our free ‘swinging ‘ time tends to be every other weekend. And therein lies the problem! Hence I ended up going to a swinging party alone last night - in spite of the (allegedly) thousands of guys on the site that are all super keen to meet!
It’s a bit of a catch 22 really! X"
nice arse |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"This was a post from a different thread.
Jumping up and dropping everything when theyve been kept on the subs bench for months is exactly what single guys need to do, if they want to be successful with couples on here. Couples usually want last minute guys. If all the guys who moan they cant get meets do this they will be very successful single fabbers. Simples."
Guess this is the new advice for single guys ..put your life on hold and wait ...and wait ...and wait.
if guys weren't available when the couple wanted them they'd be labelled 'married' or 'Fantasists'
tell me with thread this comes from.... and i'll tell them exactly what i "think" of this post......
spoiler coming: pish...... but in a much longer format!
https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/829733"
thanks.... written my reply to that post! hope it is worth the read... |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I think you missed the point OP. The numbers of people available at conventionally workable times (say, Saturday afternoon to give you a bit of time to prepare for a nice evening) for those with a regular schedule is much lower than the number of people who will slag you off because, shock, 2am on a Tuesday (but of insomnia) isn't a time I'm going to jump to right now.
I've not missed the point, the couple who posted this have since posted again on that thread reiterating they expect guys to jump and drop everything.
If it works for them fine, it's not something I'd expect anyone to do certainly not what I would do either. I've said it before I consider fab a two way street.
It is a two way street, and guys are actually just as guilty of it as women. Also in my experience women and couples will take my deletion or no, while men will question my right to be on the site if I'm not looking to fuck them right this second.
I sometimes go looking for last minute meets, and you'll be astonished to hear, given I lack a penis, that my approach is "if you happen to be about... no worries, another time". "
Your last paragraph doesn't astonish me, it would if you'd said you had a penis ,
I was more astonished that in this case a couple would or do think in this case guys would jump and drop everything to meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives.
I think some are - but a lot of younger guys are out with friends at the weekend having a ‘normal ‘ social life - and that (understandably perhaps) is their priority at the weekend! A lot see swinging as something to shove in on weekdays.
However - many single females are single parents too - and, like me, tend to have their kids most weekdays. Our free ‘swinging ‘ time tends to be every other weekend. And therein lies the problem! Hence I ended up going to a swinging party alone last night - in spite of the (allegedly) thousands of guys on the site that are all super keen to meet!
It’s a bit of a catch 22 really! X"
This is my problem
And let's not forget some genuinely single guys have the issue that their parenting time is when we are free  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
""Subs bench" that is interesting and probably happens frequently on here. As a single guy I think of myself equal to couples and single women on here.
I don't jump through hoops, chat when it is only convenient or do what others want me to do. If there is no mutual respect or understanding the communication will fizzle out."
I think this is the key point here. Its a question of self respect and also guys get treated like that because some respond to it.
It's not just couples that have an entitled 'well we want you now, so do it' attitude, lots do. I think if people didn't respond to it then it would stop.
We all have lives and things going on, if people can't respect or understand my basic humanity then why on earth would I meet them? |
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"I think you missed the point OP. The numbers of people available at conventionally workable times (say, Saturday afternoon to give you a bit of time to prepare for a nice evening) for those with a regular schedule is much lower than the number of people who will slag you off because, shock, 2am on a Tuesday (but of insomnia) isn't a time I'm going to jump to right now.
I've not missed the point, the couple who posted this have since posted again on that thread reiterating they expect guys to jump and drop everything.
If it works for them fine, it's not something I'd expect anyone to do certainly not what I would do either. I've said it before I consider fab a two way street.
It is a two way street, and guys are actually just as guilty of it as women. Also in my experience women and couples will take my deletion or no, while men will question my right to be on the site if I'm not looking to fuck them right this second.
I sometimes go looking for last minute meets, and you'll be astonished to hear, given I lack a penis, that my approach is "if you happen to be about... no worries, another time".
Your last paragraph doesn't astonish me, it would if you'd said you had a penis ,
I was more astonished that in this case a couple would or do think in this case guys would jump and drop everything to meet."
Some guys are like that, though, and expect us to be like that too.
I have a mental list. When I find myself available I ask around. It's not "you'll do", if it were that I'd go for one of the umpteen messages I delete. It's "I like you and I'd like to spend time with you". (when my plans fall through I generally don't try to replace the person or people, I can't get my head around it) |
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"For me I find single guys message in the week, when I've said I'm not available. Gets to the weekend and nobody is about to arrange a social meet with. Then it gets later in the night when I'm ready for bed and expected to be available and ready like dial a shag. It's not just single guys that have it hard, single girls do too!
That's because all the single guys are spending the weekend with their wives.
I think some are - but a lot of younger guys are out with friends at the weekend having a ‘normal ‘ social life - and that (understandably perhaps) is their priority at the weekend! A lot see swinging as something to shove in on weekdays.
However - many single females are single parents too - and, like me, tend to have their kids most weekdays. Our free ‘swinging ‘ time tends to be every other weekend. And therein lies the problem! Hence I ended up going to a swinging party alone last night - in spite of the (allegedly) thousands of guys on the site that are all super keen to meet!
It’s a bit of a catch 22 really! X
This is my problem
And let's not forget some genuinely single guys have the issue that their parenting time is when we are free "
Exactly this for me. Bored and lonely all week and booked up at the weekend |
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