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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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“A broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. The word that is the most important in this sentence is ‘perceived’. Unlike physically being alone, loneliness is a feeling and a perception. It involves a way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. We can feel lonely in a wide array of social settings and circumstances.”
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely?
What do you do to combat your feelings of loneliness, if you have them?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My work helps. Chatting on here. Cuddles really help. Time with my family. Music - especially playing with the band. Seeing friends.
I rarely experience anything other than fleeting feelings of loneliness |
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I'm not sure loneliness is always a perception, which implies a mental process to me - I would say it's sometimes a sense, a purely spiritual and/or emotional experience.
If feel lonely I seek to connect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can you change it? Yes.
But like all things that involves
changing a state of mind its often easier said than done.
Reminding myself constantly than people are not constantly looking for faults and actually want to be around me, when in crowds works, its exhausting.but it does work.
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I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i feel lonely i go round to my daughters house. My granddaughter cheers me up. The other night we watched The Greatest Showman Singalong. So theres the two of us dancing and singing for a couple of hours. A lovely evening. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
"
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't found a solution. Most of the few friends I have live some distance away and don't have much free time, so I don't get to see them often. My family and I have never been terribly close and there aren't many of them. |
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?"
As I say , I don’t recall feeling that . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?
As I say , I don’t recall feeling that ."
Ahh, sorry - I read it as only the other form.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
"
This. Don’t think I have either. I love my own company. Can’t get enough time on my own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?"
Some of the loneliest times I've ever experienced have been when I'm surrounded by other people. To be in a room full of people and feel like no one is interested in you, no one wants you there... that's loneliness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“A broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. The word that is the most important in this sentence is ‘perceived’. Unlike physically being alone, loneliness is a feeling and a perception. It involves a way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. We can feel lonely in a wide array of social settings and circumstances.”
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely?
What do you do to combat your feelings of loneliness, if you have them?
"
Just entertain your brain. It's not rocket science |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am ok in my own company but I'm not good at social niceties in a crowd of people I don't know well. I don't suffer too much with loneliness but lots of my t.girl friends do and some are depressed by it. I do get worried for one or two of them especially and message as and when just to check they are ok. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?
Some of the loneliest times I've ever experienced have been when I'm surrounded by other people. To be in a room full of people and feel like no one is interested in you, no one wants you there... that's loneliness."
I'm not sure that's loneliness, that sounds more like a form of anxiety or depression. That's your perception of the situation and you're projecting that onto others.
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"“A broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. The word that is the most important in this sentence is ‘perceived’. Unlike physically being alone, loneliness is a feeling and a perception. It involves a way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. We can feel lonely in a wide array of social settings and circumstances.”
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely?
What do you do to combat your feelings of loneliness, if you have them?
"
In the very definition of the original quote, yes we can. We can change our perception of situations and recognise the discrepancies between the ideal and perceived. In doing so we can then address the issues causing the perceived loneliness in time.
Obviously it takes time, patience and self awareness.
How do I address the situation? Find people that you can connect with, that understand you and that treat your feelings with understanding and empathy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?
Some of the loneliest times I've ever experienced have been when I'm surrounded by other people. To be in a room full of people and feel like no one is interested in you, no one wants you there... that's loneliness.
I'm not sure that's loneliness, that sounds more like a form of anxiety or depression. That's your perception of the situation and you're projecting that onto others.
"
I don’t think it has to be mutually exclusive. Having a mental health problem increases your chance of feeling lonely, and feeling lonely can have a negative impact on your mental health. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to the spirits of my departed kinn, talk to the ghost in the house....
I like myself so I am also comfortable with me.
By....loving.... not received but by resonating love from my core and hoping that someone close by can feel the warmth. That my little drop of love can maybe change something in the universe and will make some one happy.
Yup!.... if I try to make someone else not feel lonely... normally I am not.
Big hug and kiss OP,
Xxx
Nessa |
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"“A broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. The word that is the most important in this sentence is ‘perceived’. Unlike physically being alone, loneliness is a feeling and a perception. It involves a way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. We can feel lonely in a wide array of social settings and circumstances.”
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely?
What do you do to combat your feelings of loneliness, if you have them?
Just entertain your brain. It's not rocket science"
It's actually more than that.
I've felt incredibly lonely even when I was in a room full of people (As Quietly Kinky describes above).
I like my own company, I'm perfectly happy being alone and don't feel lonely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having had a couple of years single I can appreciate the feeling of loneliness having been through a quite a bad relationship breakup. It’s not a nice place to be.
I’m fortunate and have a child and family around me but I do think it’s possible to be lonely even when surrounded by family.
My loneliness was around not having someone very close to, to talk to and have affection (not just sex). Following the breakup I ended up having quite a few casual relationships but that didn’t mean I wasn’t mentally lonely. Im not even sure if this makes sense? |
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"Having had a couple of years single I can appreciate the feeling of loneliness having been through a quite a bad relationship breakup. It’s not a nice place to be.
I’m fortunate and have a child and family around me but I do think it’s possible to be lonely even when surrounded by family.
My loneliness was around not having someone very close to, to talk to and have affection (not just sex). Following the breakup I ended up having quite a few casual relationships but that didn’t mean I wasn’t mentally lonely. Im not even sure if this makes sense?"
Makes perfect sense to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“A broadly accepted definition of loneliness is the distress that results from discrepancies between ideal and perceived social relationships. The word that is the most important in this sentence is ‘perceived’. Unlike physically being alone, loneliness is a feeling and a perception. It involves a way of seeing ourselves and the world around us. We can feel lonely in a wide array of social settings and circumstances.”
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely?
What do you do to combat your feelings of loneliness, if you have them?
Just entertain your brain. It's not rocket science
It's actually more than that.
I've felt incredibly lonely even when I was in a room full of people (As Quietly Kinky describes above).
I like my own company, I'm perfectly happy being alone and don't feel lonely."
I’d agree it’s certianly possible to be alone and not be lonely. It’s also very possible to be alone in a busy room as I’ve been there.
I think it’s incredibly difficult however if you are feeling lonely to change your mindset to not being so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, are you struggling with loneliness at the moment?"
Oh thanks for asking! I have to say I do on occasion, yes. But I’m actually really good currently, I’m just thinking a lot about this topic in many ways from a work perspective, how do we ensure recognition of loneliness and how to address it through services, through self-led methods, how do we look out for others etc.
But yes, I reflect on my own feelings of loneliness as a means to try and increase my understanding of others’ too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, are you struggling with loneliness at the moment?
Oh thanks for asking! I have to say I do on occasion, yes. But I’m actually really good currently, I’m just thinking a lot about this topic in many ways from a work perspective, how do we ensure recognition of loneliness and how to address it through services, through self-led methods, how do we look out for others etc.
But yes, I reflect on my own feelings of loneliness as a means to try and increase my understanding of others’ too. "
Cool.
Seemed like one of the few times when "You ok hun?" was the right response |
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When I split from MrM I confess I did feel lonely. He’d been a constant in my life and my home an awfully long time. When he wasn’t here anymore, no matter how many people were around there was something just missing.
I learned to sleep alone. To readjust my routine and to not be afraid to work out my feelings. Loneliness sucks but I got over myself and that disappeared. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend a lot of my free time in the hills not alone but with pooch . I quite like the semi solitude "
I love solitude. I need it to recharge my batteries. I enjoy that time for contemplation. |
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I live quite rurally and have done for 15 years. I was always quite busy and sociable when I lived in Embra but out in the sticks I was just focussed on raising my son and working. Never felt lonely despite spending years (well a decade and a half) pretty much on my ownsome. I had a small handful of close friends I still kept in touch with and felt lucky to have that.
Over the last few years three out of my four close friends have died and I lost my dear brother (who I was closer to than anyone else in this world) to Cancer last year.
Most of my hobbies are pretty solitary (hill walking, fly fishing, history, archaeology etc).
Although I miss certain people's presence and often wish they were still around I very rarely feel lonely. I have kindly ghosts for company. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend a lot of my free time in the hills not alone but with pooch . I quite like the semi solitude
I love solitude. I need it to recharge my batteries. I enjoy that time for contemplation."
Same here, almost like a forced loneliness I put on myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend a lot of my free time in the hills not alone but with pooch . I quite like the semi solitude
I love solitude. I need it to recharge my batteries. I enjoy that time for contemplation.
Same here, almost like a forced loneliness I put on myself. "
Solitude is bliss |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I go for a drive. Or talk to people who actively listen. That helps. Even just removing myself and thinking about all the things I can be thankful for and reminding myself I'm not alone helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spend most of my free time alone.
I have moments of loneliness but I think it helps me that I have options.
Not that I'm taking them - And I have burnt a lot if bridges - but they are there - just in case.
I like my own company, I find most people exhausting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend most of my free time alone.
I have moments of loneliness but I think it helps me that I have options.
Not that I'm taking them - And I have burnt a lot if bridges - but they are there - just in case.
I like my own company, I find most people exhausting."
interesting view |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spend most of my free time alone.
I have moments of loneliness but I think it helps me that I have options.
Not that I'm taking them - And I have burnt a lot if bridges - but they are there - just in case.
I like my own company, I find most people exhausting."
I certainly can relate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“And the waitress is practising politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone”
Billy Joel - Piano Man
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced loneliness .
I’ve spent way more time alone in the last year than ever before , but I’ve rather enjoyed it .
I would say interaction with other people is often an overrated experience from my perspective .
How about the sense of loneliness that is not related to whether you are specifically in someone else’s company at the time or not?"
As the song goes..I've been alone, when I'm surrounded by friends... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“And the waitress is practising politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone”
Billy Joel - Piano Man
"
I've always preferred being lonely on my own to being lonely around others. It hurts less. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often feel lonely in a group situation. My friends are all quite touchy-feely and I'm not so I feel a bit left out there. I can go quite quiet which makes me feel worse.
I have a daughter but I sometimes miss adult interaction, I have lots of family and friends but those feelings only come when I'm sat in front of yet another crap TV show as my daughter sleeps.
I don't think I can change my way of thinking, my loneliness is situational. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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are more people wanting to live alone these days?
do their own thing? willing to not have relationships and be lonely.
not prepared to take a chance through fear of getting hurt? |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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I work with a group of people that struggle with loneliness. I’m some cases it is due to a bereavement and they find themselves alone but for some it isn’t about being alone, it’s the actually feeling of loneliness. I put them in touch with schools and they go in to help out or assist with school clubs, possibly using a skill or interest they may have like gardening or sewing. It has been very popular and rewarding for many that take part. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often feel lonely in a group situation. My friends are all quite touchy-feely and I'm not so I feel a bit left out there. I can go quite quiet which makes me feel worse.
I have a daughter but I sometimes miss adult interaction, I have lots of family and friends but those feelings only come when I'm sat in front of yet another crap TV show as my daughter sleeps.
I don't think I can change my way of thinking, my loneliness is situational. "
I’ve been in the exact same situation recently and was a bit of a head messer as you feel lonely yet have lots to be thankful for too. |
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"I spend most of my free time alone.
I have moments of loneliness but I think it helps me that I have options.
Not that I'm taking them - And I have burnt a lot if bridges - but they are there - just in case.
I like my own company, I find most people exhausting."
Dance by the light of the bridges that you burn! |
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