FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Straight delete or polite no?
Straight delete or polite no?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Personally I find it better when you are given a polite no thanks other than just a delete of the message I get it I'm not for everyone but politeness goes a long way? .. whats your opinion? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse. "
That is true I suspected that would be the case people spitting the dummy's out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse. "
This plus I check their profile and if they don’t fit what i’m Looking for then what’s the point?
It clearly states in mine what i’m After! |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse. "
This, and also don't care if someone deletes a message from me either. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse.
This plus I check their profile and if they don’t fit what i’m Looking for then what’s the point?
It clearly states in mine what i’m After!"
Yeah that's true I don't think many blokes but also women read profiles especially not mine lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I find it better when you are given a polite no thanks other than just a delete of the message I get it I'm not for everyone but politeness goes a long way? .. whats your opinion? "
Sorry whilst I do reply to polite messages, as it says on my profile I quite happily delete those that haven't read it or send an inappropriate message ... it then annoys me after replying with a no reason that I get messages back asking why or give me a chance! It's a quiet day today and still have 42 unread messages!!! I've only just finished work so no replies tonight ...tough  |
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Its ok saying a "no thankyou" but you sometimes get people then messaging saying things like "dont have to look at me when im fucking you" and then trying to persuade you to "just meet anyway"
So sometimes its a case of just deleteing... and even then some still message asking "why delete my message"... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I find it better when you are given a polite no thanks other than just a delete of the message I get it I'm not for everyone but politeness goes a long way? .. whats your opinion? "
Why do you find it better? What difference does it make if she’s not interested? Or is it just the fact you’ve received a message, is that why you prefer it?
I prefer to delete if not interested as my profile states, it cuts down on the abuse messages from bitter guys who can’t stand rejection. |
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"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse.
This plus I check their profile and if they don’t fit what i’m Looking for then what’s the point?
It clearly states in mine what i’m After!
Yeah that's true I don't think many blokes but also women read profiles especially not mine lol! "
I've deleted 70 messages so far today, only replied to 1 as it was a really well written message
Obviously none of the other 69 had read my profile, or chose to ignore it.
The one I did politely reply, and decline, resulted in several more messages, all still polite but he wasn't accepting my responses.
The end result was a block
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we'd all like a polite response, but some of my single fem friends on here get 100's of messages a day, so without a PA they struggle to get back to everyone. So I understand no response or a delete as a thanks but no thanks. In fairness I don't message many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Either works in response to me.
I know I can manage my small amount if mail so I'm happy to reply.
I don't expect others to. I'm simply here to engage if they're interested? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its ok saying a "no thankyou" but you sometimes get people then messaging saying things like "dont have to look at me when im fucking you" and then trying to persuade you to "just meet anyway"
So sometimes its a case of just deleteing... and even then some still message asking "why delete my message"... "
No way really?! Shocking |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Copy and pasting a previous response of mine (oh, don’t gasp people, it’s common enough on this site if my inbox is anything to go by  )
I receive on average 20-30 messages per hour. Per. Hour. Even with decent filters on.
Let’s break it down mathematically, shall we? To see there’s a message and check out the profile (read the text, look at the photos, check whether the Interests list aligns and scroll through the veris). Conservatively, takes one minute. Then to go back, actually read the message and compose a ‘thanks but no thanks’ response. Two minutes, at a push?
So three minutes, if you’re fast. If you get the lower end of 20 mails an hour, that’s 60 minutes of responding. If you get more...hot damn, you’re getting further and further behind each hour.
Then there’s jobs to do to pay the bills; friends, families and significant others to spend time with; household chores; weekly shopping...you know, the life we all have outside of here.
A straight delete is just inbox management. I despise bad manners but it wouldn’t occur to me to respond to someone when I don’t think we’d be compatible. By deleting unread, a clear message is sent.
That’s all  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I find it better when you are given a polite no thanks other than just a delete of the message I get it I'm not for everyone but politeness goes a long way? .. whats your opinion?
Why do you find it better? What difference does it make if she’s not interested? Or is it just the fact you’ve received a message, is that why you prefer it?
I prefer to delete if not interested as my profile states, it cuts down on the abuse messages from bitter guys who can’t stand rejection. "
Yeah I get what you mean.. but I have had in the past somebody who I have messaged it's been deleted then I get a message off that person a couple of weeks later and had a great laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be nice. But always get blocked or ignored...
I understand that women get loads of messages but they could be alot nicer about it.
Then you get the douchebags that hound and send abusive messages to women making it Even more difficult for the honest and genuine blokes on here that get overlooked. |
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Am I the only person who doesn't delete??
I might not reply, but I don't delete either... Fab does that automatically after a while anyway.
My active conversations stay at the top of my mailbox... Unreplied to messages just drop down the list and disappear eventually anyway.
This aside... It depends on my mood OP... Some days I reply with a polite no thanks, other days I might be grumpy, or pressed for time, and just not reply. As several people have already mentioned, polite no thanks replies are not always received well! If I check someone's profile and they've got a snarky status up or their profile text has a tone of entitlement... I definitely won't reply as its almost guaranteed that I'll get abuse for saying no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply to every message.... even if its not what they were hoping for. Yes it takes time... but you get out what you put in... "
You are a good un
It would be nice to get a reply but a delete says it all and I have seen all the messages the women get in a day it must be time consuming to reply to them all so I have no issue with just a straight delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also when you do read someone's profile and do as they say you still end getting ignored or blocked either way it's just a matter of luck if they read it. |
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"I'll keep saying it....a Fab "thanks but no thanks" button!
Personally though it would be no use?  "
I think it could be of use if it were implemented in conjunction with a warning message similar to the ones that come up when you try to mail someone who isn't looking for men/women/couples...
It should be a simple thing... If someone has used the 'no thanks' button, the person who mailed them should get a 'Wait. This user has already declined your message. Are you sure you want to mail again?' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll keep saying it....a Fab "thanks but no thanks" button!
Personally though it would be no use?
I think it could be of use if it were implemented in conjunction with a warning message similar to the ones that come up when you try to mail someone who isn't looking for men/women/couples...
It should be a simple thing... If someone has used the 'no thanks' button, the person who mailed them should get a 'Wait. This user has already declined your message. Are you sure you want to mail again?' "
I meant for me!  |
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"Also when you do read someone's profile and do as they say you still end getting ignored or blocked either way it's just a matter of luck if they read it."
Just because you read their profile and used their secret code doesn't automatically mean you're what they are looking for...
Lots of people seem to interpret profile text and preferences differently from that of the writer's intent.... This is why people often end up with very long profiles... They're trying to express their preferences clearer as a result of them being misinterpreted previously.
It's often a pointless exercise though because those who are inclined to 'misinterpret' will do so anyway, or ask to be the exception... |
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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago
swingers clubs |
Obviously it's in the FAQ that no reply = No thanks
We'll delete if there's nothing to go on. It's a delete if there's nothing to their profile blurb or message/no pics on profile or with message; or if it's otherwise obvious we're not a match and would have been obvious to the messager had they read our profile.
We try for a polite no thanks if we can see effort has been made |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I'm too long in the tooth here, if I don't like the profile I don't bother opening the message.
You may think that is harsh, but if men can't make a single effort with their profile I am not extending any effort either.
I have had many messages recently asking can I tempt you? And their profile says fuck all and they might just have a cock pic, Eh any person with a brain should know it takes more than that to attract a response from someone but alas no, these men must be totally dim witted to even send a message of that ilk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Straight delete. I've gone the polite no thanks route and can't be bothered to respond to people trying to persuade me otherwise or abuse.
This plus I check their profile and if they don’t fit what i’m Looking for then what’s the point?
It clearly states in mine what i’m After!"
Exactly if people can’t take the time in reading your profile and stil have the never to ask what we are looking for annoys the hell out of us
Straight delete, no thanks never works as they tend to insult you or just say it’s worth a try |
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"Its ok saying a "no thankyou" but you sometimes get people then messaging saying things like "dont have to look at me when im fucking you" and then trying to persuade you to "just meet anyway"
So sometimes its a case of just deleteing... and even then some still message asking "why delete my message"...
No way really?! Shocking "
Yep!! Can only be polite for so long,then gets annoying.. |
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