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Feeling scared :-(
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog 
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes just knowing someone is listening is just what you need.
I can send my well wishes, tell you all will be ok, but I don't know in truth what the outcome will be.
What I can tell you is there ARE people here, and those that will listen. Those that will make time for you.
It's ok to be scared. It shows how much you love him. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 36 when my Dad passed away.
He was terminally ill but that didn’t make it easier.
It’s tough losing a parent, especially at such a young age.
Sending you lots of love & hugs darlin and i’m about if you need to offload xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv been in this situation with both of my parents. ( sadly I've lost them both). I completely empathise with you. Its very different when you are on your own. Make sure you look after yourself the best you can and reach out as you have. Best wishes. |
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Oh bless you hun it really is ok to be scared xx I’ve been through something similar it hits you in waves and you feel like you have lost control of everything important to you I don’t know if or when you think you’re ok as I’m still going through the process but just remember we’re all here to listen I’m very lucky I have all my friends and family to keep my strength up but make every moment you spend with him precious and memorable xxx if ever you want to talk I’m here when ever xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck. "
I was a fair bit younger than you when I lost my dad. All I can say is try not to hang onto every word that is said to you by the doctors. They don't always have the answers and even if they do, they often won't commit themselves.
It's tiring stressing and it's tiring soul searching. Be there for your dad when you can but live life as normal as possible when you're away from him. Above all rest, because he's going to need strength from you. As with any stressful situation, keep yourself in the now, it's the only segment of time that you have any control over. Try not to ponder over the ifs, whats and maybes, it's wasted effort.
All the best. |
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Was in a similar situation earlier this year.
While you've got the chance tell your dad you love him.
Hold his hand.
Yes it's a shit time,yes it's horrible but you will get through it.
Hug of support for you. |
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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Sorry to hear that OP, it's never nice when a parent is sick. Sadly I was 34 when my mum passed and it was horrible. You're right, being single when stuff like that happens isn't nice. It's one of those times you need things like cuddle.
I made it thru and talking definitely helps. Doesn't matter where you get the support, even in a place like fab.
Hope for the best for your dad and try not to worry to much. Sendings you lots of virtual hugs xxxx |
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I lost my dad coming up on 3 years ago, he was only 58. When he got diagnosed with lung cancer it came as a massive shock and it hit me really hard, especially as when he was diagnosed he didn't seem ill at all and stayed like that until the last few weeks before he died 9 months later. It's a truly awful thing to go through OP, all you can do is be there for him as much as you can and be kind to yourself too.
I asked my dad a lot of questions about his life before he went, funny stories from getting in trouble as a kid, girls he dated before mum, what aspirations he had at that age, all sorts of things really, I found it comforting knowing his adventures and daft tales from his childhood and teens and still take comfort in it now. |
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By *ottie 13Woman
over a year ago
Happy go lucky |
This is a terrible time for you I lost my dad 4 yrs ago and I was heartbroken but I took comfort in spending as much time as I could with him and reliving the memories we shared. My dogs did an excellent job of comforting me and they really do give the best cuddles lots of love op x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck. "
Hey hun, I'm Sam. I got diagnosed with a terminal illness at 19, had a stroke at 25, was bling for 2 year.You know what the worst thing about all that was? How it made my family felt, its the worst. So, my completely unsubtle point is, If your dad has to leave us soon, let him d so with his daughters smile fresh in his memory, not her being sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck.
Hey hun, I'm Sam. I got diagnosed with a terminal illness at 19, had a stroke at 25, was bling for 2 year.You know what the worst thing about all that was? How it made my family felt, its the worst. So, my completely unsubtle point is, If your dad has to leave us soon, let him d so with his daughters smile fresh in his memory, not her being sad "
A lot easier said than done, and I sound like an ass, but I'm in charring cross Hospital all day tomorrow getting and infusion, and i'll be thinking of my little sis being happy among other things to get me throuhg x |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
Firstly, big hours. I've a friend that has just been through a similar thing; she only had 9 weeks with her dad (from diagnosis ). She didn't really talk to anyone so it was very tough for her.
Good that you're talking about it, there's a whole support network out there - this can't be done alone.
Thinking of you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t really add any more than others have already said. I feel for you OP and know exactly the feelings and fears you have as I have experienced them too.
Keep talking, don’t bottle it in, find good friends and support groups to be there for you all.
Virtual hugs right at you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So sorry to hear this Op, life is so awful sometimes. As others have said I'm here and about if you ever need to offload or vent your frustrations. Willing to send you my phone number if you need to talk to someone or have someone listen. Massive hugs and prayers and hopefully your Dad can get through this xx
Ali  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you to each and every one of you for taking the time to reply, and for the pm’s I’ve received too. Reading your posts with tears rolling down my cheeks, time to be brave again before the kids wake up x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s mad how many people who are strangers on the streets can offer support on a forum, especially in someone’s time of need when they are down!
I’m sure you have plenty of people with messages of support who you will turn to if you need to wether today or in the future, but feel free to send a message if you need a chat and see me online, it is hard losing a parent, I was 10 when I lost my dad to cancer and never really understood or remembered much about what was happening, all I will say is be thankful you have so many memories with him and take the time now if you’re able to to make more memories with him whilst you can.
Brave face for the kids but also try and find someone to get you out of the house or to come and sit with you while you’re going through the emotions from the news, make sure you’re not by yourself to make the situation that little bit easier on yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is a horrible time and a horrible scary situation to be in and unfortunately there is little you can do to change what will happen. I lost my dad 3yrs ago last June. If that is what is to happen, spend as much time with him as you can and make some memories. My dad was gravely ill but his final days were spent with family around him. I took in his favourite music and a small cd player and the smile on his face when he heard it is still a great comfort to me now. It is hard and you need to be braver than you know you can be. One last thought, if the worst happens don't bottle things up, it is ok to be upset and things can't begin to get better until you have been. My thoughts are with you x |
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"Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck. "
So sorry to hear, I know my kids were really worried about me, especially the day I was rushed back to hospital, they couldn’t get hold of me or wife.
Can I ask what his diagnosis is?
I have cancer and am in recovery after intense radiotherapy, I don’t know if they got it, just keeping fingers crossed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You go and be by his side and show him that beautiful smile you have. Hold his hand every single moment you can and tell him how much you love him and what a wonderful father he has been. You can do this and you’ll forever cherish him. Xx |
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Nearly lost my father last year. Went through a full range of emotions while waiting to hear if he was going to pull through.
I had to hold the fort for a while as my family was abroad so I recognise how hard it is to do the “normal”
Luckily my family arrived as soon as they could. Try not to take the burden on alone and remember to look after yourself as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You go and be by his side and show him that beautiful smile you have. Hold his hand every single moment you can and tell him how much you love him and what a wonderful father he has been. You can do this and you’ll forever cherish him. Xx"
I lost my dad 5 years ago and my mum earlier this year. I couldn't put it any better than this above
Hugs OP XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You go and be by his side and show him that beautiful smile you have. Hold his hand every single moment you can and tell him how much you love him and what a wonderful father he has been. You can do this and you’ll forever cherish him. Xx"
This is lovely advice. Hugs and warm wishes OP x |
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Just because you are single doesn't mean you can't talk to fiends. Friends don't have to be sex buddies....even on here.
We worry too much and tend not to reach out to friends when we need it most. Friends are often worried about interferring.
All the best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because you are single doesn't mean you can't talk to fiends. Friends don't have to be sex buddies....even on here.
We worry too much and tend not to reach out to friends when we need it most. Friends are often worried about interferring.
All the best.
"
Well said and I hope the OP has read that.
Big hugs (((x))) |
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Very brave of you and a good move to be open.
No getting away from it though. It happens.
Always think of the good things you did together.... I do when I need a smile xx
I do the same about my daughter and i'm always grateful I had her for the years that I did. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lost both my parents within a week of each other several years ago. My mum died of a blood clot aged 70 and four days later my dad died in his sleep. I like to think that he just wanted to be with his wife my mum. They had a joint funeral. I was heartbroken. They gave me such a good life. They adopted me when I was 11 months old and loved me everyday.
My Daughter had a girl two years ago and she named her after my mum. I miss them both but smile and laugh at two very crazy but kind people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So sorry, thinking of you and your Dad. Fingers crossed he is going to be ok.
Big hugs to all who have lost parents.
I was 21 and pregnant with my youngest when my Dad died, I was heartbroken, lost. All through my pregnancy I just wanted my Dad, giving birth was bittersweet, Dad should of been there.
I lost my Mum two years ago, and damn, still feel lost and still not sure who I am. It's like my light went out. |
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I lost my mum 6 and a half years ago, I was so lucky to be at her side when she passed. I lost my dad suddenly 5 weeks ago and sadly never got to say goodbye. I was fortunate that I visited a few weeks earlier (he lived up in Scotland) and arranged a family lunch for my family and his siblings, he also got to meet his great granddaughter. I cherish those moments and even though I bawl when I look at the last photos taken of him, I will never ever forget those moments. Regardless of if you are going to lose your dad or not, never miss an opportunity to tell him he is loved and as another later said, ask about some memories/stories he has. It will make him happy sharing and you will have smiles remembering those precious stories. Sending positive vibes at a very difficult time. Don't feel you can't cry or smile.. there is no right or wrong in these situations |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just wanted to do a little update for you of you that have shared your heart breaking experiences, well wishes and advice. Thank you to all of you for being so kind and for the many pm’s I received. It really has helped me, in a way that I can’t begin to even explain.
Dad had a procedure yesterday to try and ease his problem, it didn’t go to plan initially and he ended up doing back to theatre again unfortunately. Dad is in a state today, very bad haematuria and has had a blood transfusion. Continues to be very confused, and in a lot of pain/discomfort. He’s being closely monitored and doped up for now, poor bugger has had enough Thank you all once again xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just wanted to do a little update for you of you that have shared your heart breaking experiences, well wishes and advice. Thank you to all of you for being so kind and for the many pm’s I received. It really has helped me, in a way that I can’t begin to even explain.
Dad had a procedure yesterday to try and ease his problem, it didn’t go to plan initially and he ended up doing back to theatre again unfortunately. Dad is in a state today, very bad haematuria and has had a blood transfusion. Continues to be very confused, and in a lot of pain/discomfort. He’s being closely monitored and doped up for now, poor bugger has had enough Thank you all once again xx "
You are both in my thoughts...x |
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"I just wanted to do a little update for you of you that have shared your heart breaking experiences, well wishes and advice. Thank you to all of you for being so kind and for the many pm’s I received. It really has helped me, in a way that I can’t begin to even explain.
Dad had a procedure yesterday to try and ease his problem, it didn’t go to plan initially and he ended up doing back to theatre again unfortunately. Dad is in a state today, very bad haematuria and has had a blood transfusion. Continues to be very confused, and in a lot of pain/discomfort. He’s being closely monitored and doped up for now, poor bugger has had enough Thank you all once again xx "
Crossing my fingers and toes xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys, bit of a downer post.. I have just got home from taking my dad to hospital and things are not looking great. In fact it terrifies me, that I might soon in the future have to say bye to my dad.
Not really sure why I’m writing this to be honest, but I haven’t got anyone here with me right now to talk to, apart from my dog
I could do with a big cuddle right now and a shoulder to cry into, someone to say it’ll be ok and I have your back. Being single really does suck. "
Well I'm always here for you .
I'm single so can chat morning moon or in the middle of the night
Your welcome to my mobile number and landline number for an ear or a shoulder. . |
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I fully understand what your going through. I lost my father 9 years ago and it was tough and now my Mum is waiting to hear how much cancer has grabbed her.
It is tough even in a relationship or when your single alp times others do not understand unless they have or ar going through what you are going through now.
I am here if you want to chat. I hope things work out.
Sending massive hugs. |
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By *estivalMan
over a year ago
borehamwood |
"I just wanted to do a little update for you of you that have shared your heart breaking experiences, well wishes and advice. Thank you to all of you for being so kind and for the many pm’s I received. It really has helped me, in a way that I can’t begin to even explain.
Dad had a procedure yesterday to try and ease his problem, it didn’t go to plan initially and he ended up doing back to theatre again unfortunately. Dad is in a state today, very bad haematuria and has had a blood transfusion. Continues to be very confused, and in a lot of pain/discomfort. He’s being closely monitored and doped up for now, poor bugger has had enough Thank you all once again xx "
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know the feeling the worry of losing someone you love due to losing my brother and mother five months apart one another. anyway big bear hugs to you op.  |
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