FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The dopamine clique
The dopamine clique
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was chatting with a friend about the Fab forum the other day and she expressed the usual gripe that it feels cliquey. Then we talked about how I found it quite addictive with all the little dopamine hits and she said that's what the clique is... it's a small group of people who are addicted to the dopamine hits of posting something and having someone reply to it. And I finally realised she was right. That's exactly what's going on with a core group of people on here who just chat away endlessly about everything and anything like Graham Norton's character on Father Ted.
So this thread is some advice for the dopamine junkies out there. I was there. This is what I did. Firstly I went cold turkey and took a whole week off. Then I started viewing the forum via the desktop site without logging on. If you're on a phone you'll see the link to it at the bottom of the front screen. After you click through you can select "forum" from the banner at the top and you're in.
This enabled me to enjoy reading the forum again but in a read only format. Something I may continue to do after I leave. But this little bit of distance from it also puts in an extra hurdle. A thread really needs to be exceptional to bother logging in and contributing to. But, over time, you'll realise that none of them really are all that exceptional. And the need for that dopamine hit reduces and you finally feel less antsy and agitated and in need of "something".
As with my other post, I'm envisaging this'll get some people's backs up. But the intention is noble. There are some good people on this site and if they're locked in a negative dopamine addiction I truly hope they can break away from it and settle back inside themselves in a more grounded way. Fabs forums provided me with real relief from some of the crap I went through this last year. But it left me with an addiction I needed to deal with. This thread is for others who suspect they may have gotten wound into an unhealthy relationship with this or other social media. I hope you find a way through it. All the best everyone xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not given it much thought to be honest. Even from school days I've always been abit of a lone wolf which suits me just delightfully. If something gives you joy then engage in it, if not then don't |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
I don't know what a dopamine clique is, but the forums work for some and not others. I've actually found some useful information through the forums, but on the whole, had lots of laughs and made a couple of nice friends who we private message each other  |
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I used to contribute to loads of threads , and felt it was all worthwhile . I’d get upset when I had a timeout . I would be miffed if no one quoted me , and even more upset if no one agreed with me .
Those day are long gone .
A few months ago someone suggested in a thread that I may be part of the clique ! The fact that forumites themselves said that the person who suggested this must be mad as I’ve never been anything like that in all the years on here spoke volumes .
I don’t get a dopamine like fix any longer from coming on here , far from it . But it passes time when there’s nothing else to do I guess . |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
Your friend has good incite OP the little dopamine hits as you describe it I would agree with. I always think its a bit of a substitute for real life interaction and find it fills the gap for lonely people. I tend to use it more when in my flat down here away from most family and friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re possibly right, I see here and my Twitter (which is mostly football based) and my football clubs forum (my three main Social Media platforms) more as a distraction from day to day life to be honest.
But they’d be dull if nobody ever responded - the interaction is what makes them fun. Who doesn’t like social interaction? It’s why you go with your mates to the pub. Or out playing sport. Or any other social activity : to interact with other people and have fun.
I think you’re possibly over-thinking this, but you’re definitely right that I prefer people to respond to me than ignore me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sean Parker, the founding president of Facebook, admitted that the social network was founded not to unite us, but to distract us. “The thought process was: ‘How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?’” .Facebook exploited a vulnerability in human psychology . Whenever someone likes or comments on a post or photograph, he said, “we… give you a little dopamine hit”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting with a friend about the Fab forum the other day and she expressed the usual gripe that it feels cliquey. Then we talked about how I found it quite addictive with all the little dopamine hits and she said that's what the clique is... it's a small group of people who are addicted to the dopamine hits of posting something and having someone reply to it. And I finally realised she was right. That's exactly what's going on with a core group of people on here who just chat away endlessly about everything and anything like Graham Norton's character on Father Ted.
So this thread is some advice for the dopamine junkies out there. I was there. This is what I did. Firstly I went cold turkey and took a whole week off. Then I started viewing the forum via the desktop site without logging on. If you're on a phone you'll see the link to it at the bottom of the front screen. After you click through you can select "forum" from the banner at the top and you're in.
This enabled me to enjoy reading the forum again but in a read only format. Something I may continue to do after I leave. But this little bit of distance from it also puts in an extra hurdle. A thread really needs to be exceptional to bother logging in and contributing to. But, over time, you'll realise that none of them really are all that exceptional. And the need for that dopamine hit reduces and you finally feel less antsy and agitated and in need of "something".
As with my other post, I'm envisaging this'll get some people's backs up. But the intention is noble. There are some good people on this site and if they're locked in a negative dopamine addiction I truly hope they can break away from it and settle back inside themselves in a more grounded way. Fabs forums provided me with real relief from some of the crap I went through this last year. But it left me with an addiction I needed to deal with. This thread is for others who suspect they may have gotten wound into an unhealthy relationship with this or other social media. I hope you find a way through it. All the best everyone xx"
Is this your farewell speech? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It may come as a surprise to you OP but some people actually use this site to arrange meets ...
Posting in the forums is just a front for other activities  |
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It's an established fact that people addicted to likes and fabs and views and winks on social media are getting a dopamine hit out of it, and it's easy to see when there is a real neediness to their use of the site.
But dopamine is also released in any kind of physically or psychologically rewarding or pleasurable activity - healthy social interaction for instance, exercise, dancing, nicotine, or surprise, surprise, even SEX!
So I would suggest that there is a full spectrum of need/pleasure-reward going on here. It's certainly a great place for psyche watching. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore "
I haven’t been on Facebook for 6 months, I have Fab to thank for that.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore
I haven’t been on Facebook for 6 months, I have Fab to thank for that. "
Well done. Easy when you know how  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and a tip for anyone with any kind of dopamine addiction - St John's Wort increases dopamine as well as serotonin - helped me get off my nicotine dopamine addiction years ago.  "
But will our pictures still get fabbed if we dont care anymore |
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"Oh and a tip for anyone with any kind of dopamine addiction - St John's Wort increases dopamine as well as serotonin - helped me get off my nicotine dopamine addiction years ago.
But will our pictures still get fabbed if we dont care anymore "
I dunno, but I don't give a damn lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and a tip for anyone with any kind of dopamine addiction - St John's Wort increases dopamine as well as serotonin - helped me get off my nicotine dopamine addiction years ago.
But will our pictures still get fabbed if we dont care anymore
I dunno, but I don't give a damn lol! "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I prefer the straightforward, light-hearted question threads to back and forward interactive ones. I've always loved filling out questionnaires though, so I must get my fix from answering superficial questions like 'Whats your favourite...? or 'Name a song...?' etc where there's not much need for a response. I don't think I use Fab for anything on a very deep level. |
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"I prefer the straightforward, light-hearted question threads to back and forward interactive ones. I've always loved filling out questionnaires though, so I must get my fix from answering superficial questions like 'Whats your favourite...? or 'Name a song...?' etc where there's not much need for a response. I don't think I use Fab for anything on a very deep level."
I prefer the ones that involve a bit of discussion. I avoid politics though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore
I haven’t been on Facebook for 6 months, I have Fab to thank for that. "
I need Facebook as have lots of work groups on there to swap my shifts and leave etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never understood why people feel the need to let everone know they're leaving. It's just an internet forum, log-out and don't bother logging in again.
"
Dopamine? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never understood why people feel the need to let everone know they're leaving. It's just an internet forum, log-out and don't bother logging in again.
Dopamine? "
Oh the irony. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never understood why people feel the need to let everone know they're leaving. It's just an internet forum, log-out and don't bother logging in again.
Dopamine? "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore "
Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was chatting with a friend about the Fab forum the other day and she expressed the usual gripe that it feels cliquey. Then we talked about how I found it quite addictive with all the little dopamine hits and she said that's what the clique is... it's a small group of people who are addicted to the dopamine hits of posting something and having someone reply to it. And I finally realised she was right. That's exactly what's going on with a core group of people on here who just chat away endlessly about everything and anything like Graham Norton's character on Father Ted.
So this thread is some advice for the dopamine junkies out there. I was there. This is what I did. Firstly I went cold turkey and took a whole week off. Then I started viewing the forum via the desktop site without logging on. If you're on a phone you'll see the link to it at the bottom of the front screen. After you click through you can select "forum" from the banner at the top and you're in.
This enabled me to enjoy reading the forum again but in a read only format. Something I may continue to do after I leave. But this little bit of distance from it also puts in an extra hurdle. A thread really needs to be exceptional to bother logging in and contributing to. But, over time, you'll realise that none of them really are all that exceptional. And the need for that dopamine hit reduces and you finally feel less antsy and agitated and in need of "something".
As with my other post, I'm envisaging this'll get some people's backs up. But the intention is noble. There are some good people on this site and if they're locked in a negative dopamine addiction I truly hope they can break away from it and settle back inside themselves in a more grounded way. Fabs forums provided me with real relief from some of the crap I went through this last year. But it left me with an addiction I needed to deal with. This thread is for others who suspect they may have gotten wound into an unhealthy relationship with this or other social media. I hope you find a way through it. All the best everyone xx"
I've booked into the priory but they've said it's going to be expensive |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"I enjoyed his posts. Have him as an advisor now, quickly got the details before his departure.
You'll need another adviser to summarise him, and a third to talk the second one off a ledge..."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I happen to think that all of you have been quite harsh on old......uhmmmmm ...... errrrmmmmmmmm
Who was it ?"
He wrote too much for me to read, most of the time.
I'm a goldfish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoyed his posts. Have him as an advisor now, quickly got the details before his departure.
You'll need another adviser to summarise him, and a third to talk the second one off a ledge..."
Wailing with laughter here  |
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I liked his posts, I agreed with a lot of what he believed, and controversy is good for the forums, I don't like the banal. But I think he got really disillusioned at the end and needed a break from it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way. "
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I liked his posts, I agreed with a lot of what he believed, and controversy is good for the forums, I don't like the banal. But I think he got really disillusioned at the end and needed a break from it. "
have a break have a kitkat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I liked his posts, I agreed with a lot of what he believed, and controversy is good for the forums, I don't like the banal. But I think he got really disillusioned at the end and needed a break from it. "
He seemed a lot more cheerful months back I agree |
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"I prefer the straightforward, light-hearted question threads to back and forward interactive ones. I've always loved filling out questionnaires though, so I must get my fix from answering superficial questions like 'Whats your favourite...? or 'Name a song...?' etc where there's not much need for a response. I don't think I use Fab for anything on a very deep level."
Very sensible .
If you use fab for anything close to a deep level you’re on a hiding to nothing if the truth be known  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter"
Wait, there's a naughty twitter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I prefer the straightforward, light-hearted question threads to back and forward interactive ones. I've always loved filling out questionnaires though, so I must get my fix from answering superficial questions like 'Whats your favourite...? or 'Name a song...?' etc where there's not much need for a response. I don't think I use Fab for anything on a very deep level.
Very sensible .
If you use fab for anything close to a deep level you’re on a hiding to nothing if the truth be known "
OMG, a reply! Thank you thank you thank you  !!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah good luck if you’re reading in from elsewhere SK.
I’m not surprised you left as it seemed like Fab wasn’t working for you recently and I hope you find what you’re looking for! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter? "
There is, and it is appalling  |
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"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter? "
Oh yes...it started it all for us |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter?
There is, and it is appalling "
Where do I sign up?!
|
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Ah good luck if you’re reading in from elsewhere SK.
I’m not surprised you left as it seemed like Fab wasn’t working for you recently and I hope you find what you’re looking for! "
Bye bye..I hope you find what your looking for in the real world. Such a lovely guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Never understood why people feel the need to let everone know they're leaving. It's just an internet forum, log-out and don't bother logging in again.
Dopamine? "
Yes please! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah good luck if you’re reading in from elsewhere SK.
I’m not surprised you left as it seemed like Fab wasn’t working for you recently and I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Bye bye..I hope you find what your looking for in the real world. Such a lovely guy. "
did you tell him that when he was here? |
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"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter?
There is, and it is appalling "
So are you going to share where this filth can be found? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Awwwwww, I guess he had a point but a bit deep and meaningful for me!
I gave up after the 2nd paragraph lol. He was a good un though "
I was like that with most of his posts tbh, seemed like a decent chap though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter?
There is, and it is appalling
So are you going to share where this filth can be found? "
I only found the tip of the iceberg really, I may need to dig up my log in details from some long lost recess. |
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"
If you use fab for anything close to a deep level you’re on a hiding to nothing if the truth be known "
Oh I disagree, we've had some great discussions over the years, only thing keeps me on the forums! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If you use fab for anything close to a deep level you’re on a hiding to nothing if the truth be known
Oh I disagree, we've had some great discussions over the years, only thing keeps me on the forums!"
It’s just replaced Facebook for me really! And met a couple of lovely people along the way. |
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"
If you use fab for anything close to a deep level you’re on a hiding to nothing if the truth be known
Oh I disagree, we've had some great discussions over the years, only thing keeps me on the forums!
It’s just replaced Facebook for me really! And met a couple of lovely people along the way. "
Totally different usage for me - I use Facebook to keep up with all the 'real world' events I go to, and to keep in touch with one or two long distance friends, but never have any kind of in depth discussion on there, and it's not 24/7 active like fab is lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The OP is right.
Social media addiction is bad for your mental health.
You should definately not go on after 10pm."
Oh fuck, I was on here after 10 last night and the night before that!  |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"The OP is right.
Social media addiction is bad for your mental health.
You should definately not go on after 10pm.
Oh fuck, I was on here after 10 last night and the night before that! "
If you can’t be a good role model be a terrible warning!! |
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"You’re possibly right, I see here and my Twitter (which is mostly football based) and my football clubs forum (my three main Social Media platforms) more as a distraction from day to day life to be honest.
But they’d be dull if nobody ever responded - the interaction is what makes them fun. Who doesn’t like social interaction? It’s why you go with your mates to the pub. Or out playing sport. Or any other social activity : to interact with other people and have fun.
I think you’re possibly over-thinking this, but you’re definitely right that I prefer people to respond to me than ignore me! "
touche! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The OP is right.
Social media addiction is bad for your mental health.
You should definately not go on after 10pm.
Oh fuck, I was on here after 10 last night and the night before that!
If you can’t be a good role model be a terrible warning!! "
I'm no role model. I'm terribly addicted to forums.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The OP is right.
Social media addiction is bad for your mental health.
You should definately not go on after 10pm.
Oh fuck, I was on here after 10 last night and the night before that!
If you can’t be a good role model be a terrible warning!! "
I'm good at that! In my defence, it was after midnight and the moon was full |
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"Well being here certainly cured my Twitter addiction. I'm barely there anymore Much more fun having someone look up your skirt I guess.Twitter don't offer that.Nice view by the way.
Depends if its naughty or nice Twitter
Wait, there's a naughty twitter?
There is, and it is appalling
So are you going to share where this filth can be found?
I only found the tip of the iceberg really, I may need to dig up my log in details from some long lost recess. "
Will there be stripy tights and no knickers though? |
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