FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > In my extreme naivety
In my extreme naivety
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "yes stupidity here is amazing I just looked at a profile where a few pics were taken outside and they deliberately stood infront of numberplate to obscure some of reg number but they stood in different positions so over three pics you could see whole number another person sent me a pic of their cat but it had home telephone number on its collar ha | |||
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I was amazed, Mr N laughed at my naivety . | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening  | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening "frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that "That's because you're a man. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
"so youre saying all men here are what exactly..... Different than other men in some way? | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
"so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared? | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?"I'm not sure why you're twisting it - is it to get a reaction? She posted that she was in a certain place and then there was some creepy man staring at her. I'm unsure why you think that's not unsettling. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?"How can you not understand it? She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly. Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that "The intense eye contact and the fact I hadnt replied to his original message of asking if I wanted his company. And then the numerous messages he sent me whilst I was in there. You’re right... I was in a public place. And he had as much right to be there as I did. But if he’s comfortable to make someone like me feel very uncomfortable then shame on him! | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?"They wouldn't have followed me there to stare at me and try to get me to fuck them. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members "Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts? | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find."but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find."Exactly
Think of your daughters in that position! | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?"That's a question I don't know the answer to. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to."I didn’t know this either! | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual "No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to.
I didn’t know this either!"They are freely available in search engines. Pics are pixelated and an asterisk in the user name. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to.
I didn’t know this either!"I just think that regardless of whether you need to be a member of fab to read the forums or not you have no idea who the other thousands of members are. Its not a wise move to give too much information about work, family, location of your home etc. We spend a lot of time warning our kids about the dangers of strangers on the net then go on to disregard those dangers ourselves. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual "Sorry where are the statistics that back up your claim that men on here aren’t serial killers or rapists? Do you know this for sure? I don’t & I doubt anyone does. You are assuming every member on this site is a decent person, when anyone with half a brain cell knows that isn’t the case at all on any site. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.
Exactly
Think of your daughters in that position!"Sometimes it’s the only way some men understand why we may do what we do, to keep ourselves safe. Otherwise they think we are “dramatic”. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women. "
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual "You have no way of knowing what anyone's intentions are, on this site. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
You have no way of knowing what anyone's intentions are, on this site." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site."It's always been the same I think but the nature of the site sort of concentrates it. I think most men can understand that being physically weaker puts women at an immediate disadvantage even if they don't know what it's like to walk down the street and have men hang out of van windows and comment on your breasts. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site.
It's always been the same I think but the nature of the site sort of concentrates it.
I think most men can understand that being physically weaker puts women at an immediate disadvantage even if they don't know what it's like to walk down the street and have men hang out of van windows and comment on your breasts.
"Most decent men at least! The others, well, I don’t know... | |||
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"I’ve conceded my stupidity. I won’t be doing it again that’s for sure. And it’s made me have a quick recce about other sites I go on. Just general social media sites that the average joe also uses Like I say in my stupidity. Upon reflection and all that jazz " Don't beat yourself up. Stupidity is having something pointed out and continuing to do it. Wisdom comes from learning from your mistakes. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to.
I didn’t know this either!
I just think that regardless of whether you need to be a member of fab to read the forums or not you have no idea who the other thousands of members are. Its not a wise move to give too much information about work, family, location of your home etc.
We spend a lot of time warning our kids about the dangers of strangers on the net then go on to disregard those dangers ourselves." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site."I'm sorry but I respect people's boundaries had I been in that coffee shop when the OP posted her whereabouts I would not have approached her, if women in general are concerned about safety and feel this life this place is dangerous then maybe they shouldn’t be here, for me this is a website for meeting people, if some people choose to adopt striking recognisable hairdos and use their face pics to lead their profiles then they are at some point going to be recognised but that is solely down to that individual, the Op advertised where she was but was she at risk in a coffee shop where anyone of the people concerned probably go anyway, nobody would be at risk meeting me anywhere on this planet so I'm sorry empathy for what | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site.I'm sorry but I respect people's boundaries had I been in that coffee shop when the OP posted her whereabouts I would not have approached her, if women in general are concerned about safety and feel this life this place is dangerous then maybe they shouldn’t be here, for me this is a website for meeting people, if some people choose to adopt striking recognisable hairdos and use their face pics to lead their profiles then they are at some point going to be recognised but that is solely down to that individual, the Op advertised where she was but was she at risk in a coffee shop where anyone of the people concerned probably go anyway, nobody would be at risk meeting me anywhere on this planet so I'm sorry empathy for what "Empathy for the way a woman might feel in that situation. You respect boundaries but most of the women on here will have come across men in every area of their life, not just fab, who don't. Those experiences influence their reaction to circumstances such as the op describes. It's against forum rules to discuss actual experiences though. | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Glad to see it's lesson learned. This is not the place to post your whereabouts. Safety is paramount  | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual "Whilst the vast majority of men on fab are fine there are some dangerous people out there who will use fab as a way of finding their next victim. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-london-45625789 What the OP did posting her location wasn't a smart thing to do it doesn't mean it's an open invitation for all and sundry to behave like a creep. | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
Whilst the vast majority of men on fab are fine there are some dangerous people out there who will use fab as a way of finding their next victim.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-england-london-45625789
What the OP did posting her location wasn't a smart thing to do it doesn't mean it's an open invitation for all and sundry to behave like a creep. " | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site.I'm sorry but I respect people's boundaries had I been in that coffee shop when the OP posted her whereabouts I would not have approached her, if women in general are concerned about safety and feel this life this place is dangerous then maybe they shouldn’t be here, for me this is a website for meeting people, if some people choose to adopt striking recognisable hairdos and use their face pics to lead their profiles then they are at some point going to be recognised but that is solely down to that individual, the Op advertised where she was but was she at risk in a coffee shop where anyone of the people concerned probably go anyway, nobody would be at risk meeting me anywhere on this planet so I'm sorry empathy for what "I think the difference here dude is that (if we take what the OP says at face value, and there’s no reason why I wouldn’t) the guy had messaged her, she’d ignored it, yet he turned up anyway and continued to message her while sat opposite staring at her making her feel very uncomfortable. That’s very different to a guy already there going about his day to day business. Whilst I know YOU might be a nice chap, there used to be a chap local to me (now UNLOS) that used to say what a lovely gentle and respectful chap he was but used to get very abusive to the ladies if they didn’t offer 100% attention to him so there ARE some nutballs out there and you never know how they’re going to react to rejection or being ignored. And I hear what you’re saying about face pics and recognisable features on here but when you say ‘this is a site for meeting people’ it doesn’t give people carte blanche to approach them or stalk them when out and about in public. I’m glad the OP is safe now and has said that she’s learnt a little lesson today! | |||
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"Truth is there are some not very nice people out there. Why make yourself vulnerable by being identifiable and posting where you are? " I totally agree. We are all aware of what will happen if you post your exact whereabouts on a public forum!!! I'm not sure neive is the correct term. Why state exactly where you are if you're not looking for that kind of attention? | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Poor you, that must have been so uncomfortable. It just shows what some men's attitude towards women is (not all men I hasten to add). Just because you're a member here doesn't give anyone the right to even imagine you are just some object for their sexual satisfaction or whatever other gratification they get from unnaturally unpleasant behaviour. Naive or not, that was seriously creepy behaviour, not nice people at all. Hugs hunni XX | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?"I was going to ask this....will probably have to rethink about what I post on here if that really is the case | |||
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"Truth is there are some not very nice people out there. Why make yourself vulnerable by being identifiable and posting where you are? I totally agree. We are all aware of what will happen if you post your exact whereabouts on a public forum!!! I'm not sure neive is the correct term. Why state exactly where you are if you're not looking for that kind of attention? " exactly also many phones have the facility to show location not exactly sure how accurate that is but this site uses location data too if switched on, as has been said already some people are bad they exist everywhere on this site or not, the woman concerned in this incident knows she made an error which has resulted in this thread but was she at risk because a person who is on this site sussed she was there obviously not she's here to tell the tale of the coffee shop, people here aren't ogres we are all ordinary people and some including women make themselves very easily spotted out and about, I don't for one second believe that woman was at risk and I think those that do are over dramatising it. | |||
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"Think i need some caffeine.. thought this post said extreme nativity "The one where Mary most definitely wasn’t a virgin! | |||
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"Think i need some caffeine.. thought this post said extreme nativity
The one where Mary most definitely wasn’t a virgin! "Forgive me I have sinned x  | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that "Are you for fucking real? You don't think it's creepy that just in the basis of her saying she was people watching in coffee a guy thought it was perfectly OK to decipher where she was, sit 2 tables away from her and make her feel uncomfortable by staring at her. She didn't ask for people to join her, just made an innocuous comment about how she was spending her day. People on here amaze me at times! | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that "Really. I feel the need to be careful walking down the road at night if a woman is also doing so. I recognise that my presence as a man walking down a dark street can be unnerving for a woman. So stalkerish behaviour is certainly going to be unnerving. | |||
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"Truth is there are some not very nice people out there. Why make yourself vulnerable by being identifiable and posting where you are? I totally agree. We are all aware of what will happen if you post your exact whereabouts on a public forum!!! I'm not sure neive is the correct term. Why state exactly where you are if you're not looking for that kind of attention? exactly also many phones have the facility to show location not exactly sure how accurate that is but this site uses location data too if switched on, as has been said already some people are bad they exist everywhere on this site or not, the woman concerned in this incident knows she made an error which has resulted in this thread but was she at risk because a person who is on this site sussed she was there obviously not she's here to tell the tale of the coffee shop, people here aren't ogres we are all ordinary people and some including women make themselves very easily spotted out and about, I don't for one second believe that woman was at risk and I think those that do are over dramatising it. " If you figured out where someone was from a status update, would you rush over there as well? Is that a normal reaction? I don't think so. At best, it's desperate. | |||
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"Truth is there are some not very nice people out there. Why make yourself vulnerable by being identifiable and posting where you are? I totally agree. We are all aware of what will happen if you post your exact whereabouts on a public forum!!! I'm not sure neive is the correct term. Why state exactly where you are if you're not looking for that kind of attention? exactly also many phones have the facility to show location not exactly sure how accurate that is but this site uses location data too if switched on, as has been said already some people are bad they exist everywhere on this site or not, the woman concerned in this incident knows she made an error which has resulted in this thread but was she at risk because a person who is on this site sussed she was there obviously not she's here to tell the tale of the coffee shop, people here aren't ogres we are all ordinary people and some including women make themselves very easily spotted out and about, I don't for one second believe that woman was at risk and I think those that do are over dramatising it. " Tbh I disagree with the we are all ordinary people on here, as said earlier we can't discuss events, but I can promise you there are people on here who are far from ordinary, luckily this is a very very small part of the fab population but they are out there. | |||
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"Truth is there are some not very nice people out there. Why make yourself vulnerable by being identifiable and posting where you are? I totally agree. We are all aware of what will happen if you post your exact whereabouts on a public forum!!! I'm not sure neive is the correct term. Why state exactly where you are if you're not looking for that kind of attention? exactly also many phones have the facility to show location not exactly sure how accurate that is but this site uses location data too if switched on, as has been said already some people are bad they exist everywhere on this site or not, the woman concerned in this incident knows she made an error which has resulted in this thread but was she at risk because a person who is on this site sussed she was there obviously not she's here to tell the tale of the coffee shop, people here aren't ogres we are all ordinary people and some including women make themselves very easily spotted out and about, I don't for one second believe that woman was at risk and I think those that do are over dramatising it. Tbh I disagree with the we are all ordinary people on here, as said earlier we can't discuss events, but I can promise you there are people on here who are far from ordinary, luckily this is a very very small part of the fab population but they are out there. " I see myself as an everyday guy and most people I chat to here seem everyday ordinary people to me, maybe you are extra ordinary I don't know but for me it's a website for meeting people ok some dont meet anymore and just come here for a chinwag as does any Internet site it allows people to say things they wouldn’t say to people face to face, that's about accountability the net allows word abuse and shame on anyone who abuses anyone with their words here but safe is as safe does, as I said earlier most people here are lovely and wouldn’t be a risk fullstop, occasionally a baddie will be out there that's life, sexual innuendo is rife here it's regarded as a sex site and some guys take that to the extremes and guys you know who you are it gets you nowhere as I'm sure you've realised by now. | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "You wanna move to my town, say you're in a coffee shop here and it'll take them days to find you, there's nothing but coffee shops in our town centre. On a more serious note, been saying for a while there's a lot of clubs up and down the country where strangers hook up and go home together after a few drinks and women in this situation would actually be far safer meeting guys in swingers clubs. That short amount of time is not enough to really get a feel of whether you can trust someone or not. Even I have meets and occasionally think twice about the situation I'm putting myself in. | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "How did you know the guy was from fab? He might’ve been a regular guy, in a Costa people watching? | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Crikey! Understand the messages but turning up? Maybe just a coincidence that he was staring? And not a fab member.... | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain
Crikey! Understand the messages but turning up? Maybe just a coincidence that he was staring? And not a fab member...."Has anybody asked where acacia Road nuttytown is? | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to.
I didn’t know this either!"Unless you tick the appropriate box in your privacy settings on your account, your profile and public photos are also available to non-members and are available on search engines. Your forum posts are the only things you can't opt out of being public to non-members. | |||
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"Good advice especially when you consider that the forum can be read by non members
Why are the forums available to people without Fab accounts?
That's a question I don't know the answer to.
I didn’t know this either!
Unless you tick the appropriate box in your privacy settings on your account, your profile and public photos are also available to non-members and are available on search engines. Your forum posts are the only things you can't opt out of being public to non-members. "Your pictures can't be seen by non members | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain
Crikey! Understand the messages but turning up? Maybe just a coincidence that he was staring? And not a fab member...."exactly who knows where acacia Road nuttytown is hence my point earlier, over dramatised | |||
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"Are you sure he wasn't just a man in a coffee shop looking at a woman on the next table? How did he find out which coffee shop you were in?" There's a "Whose near me" bit on the mobile app, so if yiu saw the OP saying she was in Costa then you looked at your phone it wouldn't take much working out. Mine is now off after finding this out this morning!! | |||
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"Are you sure he wasn't just a man in a coffee shop looking at a woman on the next table? How did he find out which coffee shop you were in?" the voice of reason at last | |||
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"Are you sure he wasn't just a man in a coffee shop looking at a woman on the next table? How did he find out which coffee shop you were in? There's a "Whose near me" bit on the mobile app, so if yiu saw the OP saying she was in Costa then you looked at your phone it wouldn't take much working out. Mine is now off after finding this out this morning!! She said one man actually turned up, which suggests he turned up after she put her post up " She said one man actually turned up, which suggests he turned up after she put her post up. I think the who's near only shows people within a mile, you still wouldn't know which coffee shop | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site."
It's not the site's fault though, it's the same everywhere. Even the supposed 'nice' men can't understand these issues. | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
Sorry where are the statistics that back up your claim that men on here aren’t serial killers or rapists? Do you know this for sure? I don’t & I doubt anyone does.
You are assuming every member on this site is a decent person, when anyone with half a brain cell knows that isn’t the case at all on any site. "This also could happen on Facebook....in fact, more info is given out on Facebook as it puts location in. | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site."Male half here....sorry you are upset by the creepy men but you can get this on Twitter or Facebook....I think I can empathise with ladies on this. Man was out of order. I can easily say “we not all like that” but I guess that would mean very little. But, hey it is a swinger site and men will check out profiles of lovely ladies and get horny. But that’s it for most of us. Cheer up | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
No it isn't being dramatised. It can be extremely intimidating for women if a man appears predatory in any way. It only takes a little empathy to put yourself in the shoes of women.
The lack of empathy is what worries me the most.
This is a new feeling - I didn't give it too much thought till recently.
The sheer amount of bullshit on here, lying and cheating behind partners backs and seeing "single" men on my local feed out with their wives/partners and kids etc ..
It's just sad.
It's not my business what others do - but men that don't understand simple boundaries and what is right and wrong is really worrying and makes me want to leave the site.I'm sorry but I respect people's boundaries had I been in that coffee shop when the OP posted her whereabouts I would not have approached her, if women in general are concerned about safety and feel this life this place is dangerous then maybe they shouldn’t be here, for me this is a website for meeting people, if some people choose to adopt striking recognisable hairdos and use their face pics to lead their profiles then they are at some point going to be recognised but that is solely down to that individual, the Op advertised where she was but was she at risk in a coffee shop where anyone of the people concerned probably go anyway, nobody would be at risk meeting me anywhere on this planet so I'm sorry empathy for what
I think the difference here dude is that (if we take what the OP says at face value, and there’s no reason why I wouldn’t) the guy had messaged her, she’d ignored it, yet he turned up anyway and continued to message her while sat opposite staring at her making her feel very uncomfortable.
That’s very different to a guy already there going about his day to day business.
Whilst I know YOU might be a nice chap, there used to be a chap local to me (now UNLOS) that used to say what a lovely gentle and respectful chap he was but used to get very abusive to the ladies if they didn’t offer 100% attention to him so there ARE some nutballs out there and you never know how they’re going to react to rejection or being ignored.
And I hear what you’re saying about face pics and recognisable features on here but when you say ‘this is a site for meeting people’ it doesn’t give people carte blanche to approach them or stalk them when out and about in public.
I’m glad the OP is safe now and has said that she’s learnt a little lesson today! "You make a very important point about why many women don't 'fight back' or say no thanks when in a dodgy situation. We really don't know how that 'nice' man will take rejection. It's usually better to just keep smiling and move away than give a definite "no!". Shit but true. Perhaps this is why really socially inept men are clueless and can't read signals like in the OP. (This isn't victim blaming, just my musing about some shitty humans.) | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]" is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? | |||
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That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
That's because you're a man.
so everytime you go into a coffee shop and men are there you're scared?
How can you not understand it?
She stupidly posted where she was yes, however clearly some took it upon themselves to travel there and stare at her, they could’ve easily followed her after, or approached her indiscreetly.
Some men don’t seem to see the danger in such situations until it’s a female relative or their daughter I find.but any man could do that wherever you may be, the men that are on this site are just everyday men, they aren't serial killers and rapists if anything they are more transparent than most, sorry it's being over dramatised as usual
Sorry where are the statistics that back up your claim that men on here aren’t serial killers or rapists? Do you know this for sure? I don’t & I doubt anyone does.
You are assuming every member on this site is a decent person, when anyone with half a brain cell knows that isn’t the case at all on any site.
This also could happen on Facebook....in fact, more info is given out on Facebook as it puts location in."Exactly why I said “on any site” and not just this site specifically. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? " Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? | |||
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"The whole internet is a hunting ground for sexual predators. Any kind of dating/meeting site is just a target rich environment. It's naive to think otherwise." Exactly. I can’t believe anyone would think everyone on any site on the internet would be a “decent” persons. There’s enough horror stories in the news to prove not everyone is decent, or just looking to “meet”. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? " It's conjecture how did the hypothetical guy know which coffee shop? she lives in nuttytown | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? It's conjecture how did the hypothetical guy know which coffee shop? she lives in nuttytown " Law of averages. "In Costa, watching people" Oh look, within a mile. Not rocket science... | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? It's conjecture how did the hypothetical guy know which coffee shop? she lives in nuttytown Law of averages. "In Costa, watching people" Oh look, within a mile. Not rocket science..." but that's also conjecture I never have my location for this site on, did the Op say she did and how accurate is it anyway most towns have 10 coffee shops some have many more and we don't know where nuttytown is do we? | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Most of us aren't that stupid but thanks for the heads up x | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? It's conjecture how did the hypothetical guy know which coffee shop? she lives in nuttytown Law of averages. "In Costa, watching people" Oh look, within a mile. Not rocket science...but that's also conjecture I never have my location for this site on, did the Op say she did and how accurate is it anyway most towns have 10 coffee shops some have many more and we don't know where nuttytown is do we? " Most towns don't have 10 Costa coffees. Mine has 2, so wouldn't be rocket science to work it out as to which one. They are minutes from each other. | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 03/12/18 10:13:33]is nuttytown near fuckmehardville? Are you for real. You think sexual predators and intimidation is funny? It's conjecture how did the hypothetical guy know which coffee shop? she lives in nuttytown Law of averages. "In Costa, watching people" Oh look, within a mile. Not rocket science...but that's also conjecture I never have my location for this site on, did the Op say she did and how accurate is it anyway most towns have 10 coffee shops some have many more and we don't know where nuttytown is do we? Most towns don't have 10 Costa coffees. Mine has 2, so wouldn't be rocket science to work it out as to which one. They are minutes from each other. " have you sussed where nuttytown is then? | |||
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"Birmingham, Coventry, Wolverhampton and dudley are just some of the large towns in West Midlands, Birmingham has 14" Wolverhampton 3 | |||
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"So basically everyone is saying it is the OP's fault... Next it is her fault for not wearing a Burqua... I despair of Fab some days. The sense of entitlement and the passage of blame onto women makes me fucking cringe..." No they aren't. Some of us are acknowledging, as the op herself did, that she was naive but very few are saying its her fault. | |||
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"I’ve conceded my stupidity. I won’t be doing it again that’s for sure. And it’s made me have a quick recce about other sites I go on. Just general social media sites that the average joe also uses Like I say in my stupidity. Upon reflection and all that jazz " Not stupid! Innocent remarks that people took advantage of. Again, Facebook gives your location so .......do we all stop social media for a few weirdos? | |||
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"So basically everyone is saying it is the OP's fault... Next it is her fault for not wearing a Burqua... I despair of Fab some days. The sense of entitlement and the passage of blame onto women makes me fucking cringe..." The OP was open in that she realised she had made a bad decision, and was putting it out there to warn others of the risk she took. It is hard for some to sit in others shoes and see how vulnerable she felt in that situation. | |||
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"Think i need some caffeine.. thought this post said extreme nativity "At last, a bit of humour!! | |||
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"
That's really creepy!
I'm getting tired of not being able to trust people - and realise why few single women do this.
It's just frightening frightening in what way, she's was in a public place and she told them where she was, they are people just as she is, I'm sorry can't see what is scary about that
Are you for fucking real?
You don't think it's creepy that just in the basis of her saying she was people watching in coffee a guy thought it was perfectly OK to decipher where she was, sit 2 tables away from her and make her feel uncomfortable by staring at her.
She didn't ask for people to join her, just made an innocuous comment about how she was spending her day.
People on here amaze me at times! "Well said (I’m a male btw) | |||
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"Are you sure he wasn't just a man in a coffee shop looking at a woman on the next table? How did he find out which coffee shop you were in? There's a "Whose near me" bit on the mobile app, so if yiu saw the OP saying she was in Costa then you looked at your phone it wouldn't take much working out. Mine is now off after finding this out this morning!! She said one man actually turned up, which suggests he turned up after she put her post up She said one man actually turned up, which suggests he turned up after she put her post up. I think the who's near only shows people within a mile, you still wouldn't know which coffee shop" Assuming she had who's near on. OP...did you have who's near on? | |||
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"Birmingham, Coventry, Wolverhampton and dudley are just some of the large towns in West Midlands, Birmingham has 14Wolverhampton 3 " I think you're missing the whole point in this, you're making the assumption that all people are right minded and respectful. They aren't. You seem to be speaking from the point of view of 'I'm not like that, so what's the issue'. The point is that, yes there are good people on here, yes some are respectful and know boundaries, some don't. You don't need to stand up for the guys that do. I think you're lacking empathy in this situation, clearly the lady was upset and felt threatened. The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking | |||
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"So basically everyone is saying it is the OP's fault... Next it is her fault for not wearing a Burqua... I despair of Fab some days. The sense of entitlement and the passage of blame onto women makes me fucking cringe..." Posting that your in Costa....when your in Costa. Yes that's exactly what I'm saying x | |||
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"Wow I wish I had that response "No you don't. It's terrifying. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking" Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered | |||
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"I think this just proves if you give too much information out, then you are opening yourself up to being found and not just on here, but every site you use. We don't give any information out but I would be extra careful about that if I was on here as a single female. " | |||
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"So basically everyone is saying it is the OP's fault... Next it is her fault for not wearing a Burqua... I despair of Fab some days. The sense of entitlement and the passage of blame onto women makes me fucking cringe... Posting that your in Costa....when your in Costa. Yes that's exactly what I'm saying x" It shouldn't be a green light to the Wanking Dead to flock to the nearest costa though. I understand what you are saying, I just thinl the op has got a rougher ride than she deserved. I rarely do sympathy. | |||
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"Birmingham, Coventry, Wolverhampton and dudley are just some of the large towns in West Midlands, Birmingham has 14Wolverhampton 3 I think you're missing the whole point in this, you're making the assumption that all people are right minded and respectful. They aren't. You seem to be speaking from the point of view of 'I'm not like that, so what's the issue'. The point is that, yes there are good people on here, yes some are respectful and know boundaries, some don't. You don't need to stand up for the guys that do. I think you're lacking empathy in this situation, clearly the lady was upset and felt threatened. The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking" somebody else other than me asked the question was she the Op sure that the guy who was staring at her was from fab guys stare at pretty women, my point is not about the person the Op I don't know her and if she was harmed in anyway would be immediately empathetic, my point was and I illustrated it with factual information how did the guy know which coffee shop, the Op didn't say which one or which town and her location on the site is acacia Road nuttytown and also we don't know whether location was on for fab, we also don't know how accurate it is and we don't know if she has Facebook I don't have Facebook, so many unknowns don't you think? | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered" No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered" She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. | |||
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"I've had about a dozen messages on here from people saying 'I just spotted you in tesco' (I did have bright blue hair back then) my recent was just this week and mentioned the tartan pants I had on. Luckily we haven't been approached in person " I have been approached in person. In fact he harassed me when I was in my local swimming pool. That was without giving out a location. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I no longer go there as I don't feel safe. | |||
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"Sorry to read what happened OP and glad that you're OK. I posted that i was in the laundry doing my washing the other day but didn't get a single msg!" That was in case you asked them to iron it!!!!!! | |||
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"I've had about a dozen messages on here from people saying 'I just spotted you in tesco' (I did have bright blue hair back then) my recent was just this week and mentioned the tartan pants I had on. Luckily we haven't been approached in person I have been approached in person. In fact he harassed me when I was in my local swimming pool. That was without giving out a location. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I no longer go there as I don't feel safe. "We stopped going to a particular pub for a similar reason. | |||
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"Sorry to read what happened OP and glad that you're OK. I posted that i was in the laundry doing my washing the other day but didn't get a single msg! That was in case you asked them to iron it!!!!!! "Ain't that the truth! | |||
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"I've had about a dozen messages on here from people saying 'I just spotted you in tesco' (I did have bright blue hair back then) my recent was just this week and mentioned the tartan pants I had on. Luckily we haven't been approached in person I have been approached in person. In fact he harassed me when I was in my local swimming pool. That was without giving out a location. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I no longer go there as I don't feel safe.
We stopped going to a particular pub for a similar reason."It's not nice at all. It was worse as he had his kids with him, I felt I couldn't do anything because of that. But then he was probably banking on that. | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Did you have a face pic on your profile, so he could recognise you? | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. " ok so nuttytown is in Birmingham their are 14 costas in that town/city your logic is flawed because you have no idea of the details and the Op is fine she survived the harrowing experience, at least have something tangible to back up any point you're making | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. ok so nuttytown is in Birmingham their are 14 costas in that town/city your logic is flawed because you have no idea of the details and the Op is fine she survived the harrowing experience, at least have something tangible to back up any point you're making " There's one Costa within a mile of my current location. If I'd posted the same (my location is vague enough), I'd have been found quite easily. | |||
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"As a woman, it's bad enough feeling hunted and pestered on here sometimes. The lowered boundaries, reduced manners, and some guys seeing you as little more than wet meat. Combine that with the persistent background harassment many women face, or worse (#metoo), as a cost of being in public. It's difficult to explain how terrifying an unwelcome intrusion of Fab would be in my day to day. " What about an uninvited intrusion from Facebook , life is getting lead by technology, you can be tracked wherever you are if your device is set up as such, I turn location off and don't use Facebook it's intrusive. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. ok so nuttytown is in Birmingham their are 14 costas in that town/city your logic is flawed because you have no idea of the details and the Op is fine she survived the harrowing experience, at least have something tangible to back up any point you're making There's one Costa within a mile of my current location. If I'd posted the same (my location is vague enough), I'd have been found quite easily. " yes but my point is nothing is known,no specifics were mentioned | |||
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"As a woman, it's bad enough feeling hunted and pestered on here sometimes. The lowered boundaries, reduced manners, and some guys seeing you as little more than wet meat. Combine that with the persistent background harassment many women face, or worse (#metoo), as a cost of being in public. It's difficult to explain how terrifying an unwelcome intrusion of Fab would be in my day to day. What about an uninvited intrusion from Facebook , life is getting lead by technology, you can be tracked wherever you are if your device is set up as such, I turn location off and don't use Facebook it's intrusive. " Depends on the nature of the intrusion. I turn location off on Facebook. But the Facebook intrusion is more likely to be in the vein of "I like that restaurant too" or "hey fancy a drink after you're done?" than creepy stare plus "here's a picture of my cock I'm going to destroy that slutty pussy". | |||
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"As a woman, it's bad enough feeling hunted and pestered on here sometimes. The lowered boundaries, reduced manners, and some guys seeing you as little more than wet meat. Combine that with the persistent background harassment many women face, or worse (#metoo), as a cost of being in public. It's difficult to explain how terrifying an unwelcome intrusion of Fab would be in my day to day. What about an uninvited intrusion from Facebook , life is getting lead by technology, you can be tracked wherever you are if your device is set up as such, I turn location off and don't use Facebook it's intrusive. Depends on the nature of the intrusion. I turn location off on Facebook. But the Facebook intrusion is more likely to be in the vein of "I like that restaurant too" or "hey fancy a drink after you're done?" than creepy stare plus "here's a picture of my cock I'm going to destroy that slutty pussy". " was that said then? | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. ok so nuttytown is in Birmingham their are 14 costas in that town/city your logic is flawed because you have no idea of the details and the Op is fine she survived the harrowing experience, at least have something tangible to back up any point you're making There's one Costa within a mile of my current location. If I'd posted the same (my location is vague enough), I'd have been found quite easily. yes but my point is nothing is known,no specifics were mentioned " It’s the old ‘use who’s near me’ option that gives people away. Just remember to post about being at a certain place, after you’ve been, for a status update. Unless of course you go for it and tell everyone exactly where you are, and watch the place fill up with people who all are looking round lol. Costa profits would surge at that branch. Be safe and be careful out there, lots of idiots about. Xx | |||
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"As a woman, it's bad enough feeling hunted and pestered on here sometimes. The lowered boundaries, reduced manners, and some guys seeing you as little more than wet meat. Combine that with the persistent background harassment many women face, or worse (#metoo), as a cost of being in public. It's difficult to explain how terrifying an unwelcome intrusion of Fab would be in my day to day. What about an uninvited intrusion from Facebook , life is getting lead by technology, you can be tracked wherever you are if your device is set up as such, I turn location off and don't use Facebook it's intrusive. Depends on the nature of the intrusion. I turn location off on Facebook. But the Facebook intrusion is more likely to be in the vein of "I like that restaurant too" or "hey fancy a drink after you're done?" than creepy stare plus "here's a picture of my cock I'm going to destroy that slutty pussy". was that said then? " I'm talking in terms of probabilities, which should be clear given the language I've used. I'm talking in generalities about my experience of a woman. Just because it may not be exactly what happened in this specific case doesn't mean it's not informative - if you'd listen - about the common experiences many women have. | |||
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"I've had about a dozen messages on here from people saying 'I just spotted you in tesco' (I did have bright blue hair back then) my recent was just this week and mentioned the tartan pants I had on. Luckily we haven't been approached in person I have been approached in person. In fact he harassed me when I was in my local swimming pool. That was without giving out a location. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I no longer go there as I don't feel safe. "I've been spotted and approached several times in a public place. Unfortunately not going there isn't an option for me as it's my place of work. I deny all knowledge at the time. Send a reprimand via fab message with the threat of contacting the police and reporting harassment if they do it again and then I block them. I choose to display face pictures and won't hide because of a few cockwombles who have no idea what discretion means  | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. ok so nuttytown is in Birmingham their are 14 costas in that town/city your logic is flawed because you have no idea of the details and the Op is fine she survived the harrowing experience, at least have something tangible to back up any point you're making " Are all the costs within the same distance of each other... Or indeed the more specific area of nutty town? My point, which you obviously missed in your effort to prove that this is some kind of over dramatised woman problem, is that when you live in an area (it doesn't matter whether it's London, Birmingham or a small village) with the "who's online" feature it gives distances to within a quarter of a mile. Not all 14 costs in Birmingham are within a quarter of a mile..... Now.... To cut your next comment off..... We don't know whether she had this feature on or not at the time, or when she posted the status. But if she's been on FAB a while people are likely to get the feel for whereabouts she is... The details feature of location is built on the first half of your postcode.... So B32 is very different to B1.... Which ties the location down to begin with. I just think you should be cutting her a bit of slack rather than just trying to prove she was wrong Go read the "Getting Over A Bad Meet thread. There are stories in there that demonstrate not everyone on here is an ordinary person... That should be tangible enough for you | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. " I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly." yes he wasn't even looking at her he was day dreaming | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly." It SAYS which coffee shop in the first post its pretty easy to see which costa's are with in a mile or so. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. " There is a lot of assuming on this thread. The OP who assumed the man looking at her in Costa was the man sending her mails ( she doesn't know as he didn't approach her ) A lot of people assuming it is the man in the coffee shop who was sending her mails The OP says she regrets putting up her post up at the time and she wouldn't do it again (it hasn't been removed as yet) You are then assuming my gender I think plus that if I decided to put my who's near on to have a nose that I shouldn't do it, do you assume anyone doing that is a predator? I have done that before, sat in a four hour traffic jam, was bored, put the who's near on and found three people to chat to who were in the same jam. I stared into peoples cars who were near to see if I had a mail just after they had finished looking at their phone. I was being nosey. This is what who's near is for, to see who is near. Again though, there are assumptions that the OP was using this but we have not had an answer as yet | |||
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" It SAYS which coffee shop in the first post its pretty easy to see which costa's are with in a mile or so." I can't see that in her post? | |||
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" It SAYS which coffee shop in the first post its pretty easy to see which costa's are with in a mile or so. I can't see that in her post?" It’s literally in the first sentence, 14th word, identifying as a Costa. | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. There is a lot of assuming on this thread. The OP who assumed the man looking at her in Costa was the man sending her mails ( she doesn't know as he didn't approach her ) A lot of people assuming it is the man in the coffee shop who was sending her mails The OP says she regrets putting up her post up at the time and she wouldn't do it again (it hasn't been removed as yet) You are then assuming my gender I think plus that if I decided to put my who's near on to have a nose that I shouldn't do it, do you assume anyone doing that is a predator? I have done that before, sat in a four hour traffic jam, was bored, put the who's near on and found three people to chat to who were in the same jam. I stared into peoples cars who were near to see if I had a mail just after they had finished looking at their phone. I was being nosey. This is what who's near is for, to see who is near. Again though, there are assumptions that the OP was using this but we have not had an answer as yet" I have no idea of your gender... I don't particularly care. But you didn't read that someone was in a traffic jam and then drive to it did you? Yes.... Most of it is assumption based. The actual point of the whole thread was as to give a warning accepting that she had made a mistake - and some people decided to use it as a forum for saying that she was essentially being paranoid and creating drama. I'm trying to point out that it's is entirely plausible for that person sat bear her to be from fab and that she is right to raise awareness.... Having read the other thread, in doing something like that, and helping one woman (or man) avoid experiences in the other thread I believe it was a worthwhile topic for her to create... It certialy insnt scaremongering which is what it feels like she's being tarred with | |||
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"lol there are a lot of Costa's. To clarify I meant WHICH Costa "I read Angelinas comment to say that with the ‘who’s near’ it’s easy to work out which Costa’s are within a mile if that’s how close they say someone is. I’m sat at my desk now and there’s loads of Costas nearby but if it said they were in a Costa within a mile I’d have a choice of 2 probably. | |||
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"lol there are a lot of Costa's. To clarify I meant WHICH Costa
I read Angelinas comment to say that with the ‘who’s near’ it’s easy to work out which Costa’s are within a mile if that’s how close they say someone is.
I’m sat at my desk now and there’s loads of Costas nearby but if it said they were in a Costa within a mile I’d have a choice of 2 probably."Exactly this.... It is completely plausible. Christ there's a TV on here that plays a game about finding her from her app and the locations she posts (apparently ) | |||
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"lol there are a lot of Costa's. To clarify I meant WHICH Costa
I read Angelinas comment to say that with the ‘who’s near’ it’s easy to work out which Costa’s are within a mile if that’s how close they say someone is.
I’m sat at my desk now and there’s loads of Costas nearby but if it said they were in a Costa within a mile I’d have a choice of 2 probably."I read both posts differently...especially the counting of the words from your post This is all assumptions though as we don't know if the OP was using the who's near facility I personally think it may be just she freaked out after realising she may have left herself open to possible unwanted attention while out and about ( which she didn't get ) I think she is wise to be wary of what information she gives out especially being a single female | |||
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"lol there are a lot of Costa's. To clarify I meant WHICH Costa
I read Angelinas comment to say that with the ‘who’s near’ it’s easy to work out which Costa’s are within a mile if that’s how close they say someone is.
I’m sat at my desk now and there’s loads of Costas nearby but if it said they were in a Costa within a mile I’d have a choice of 2 probably.
I read both posts differently...especially the counting of the words from your post
This is all assumptions though as we don't know if the OP was using the who's near facility
I personally think it may be just she freaked out after realising she may have left herself open to possible unwanted attention while out and about ( which she didn't get ) I think she is wise to be wary of what information she gives out especially being a single female
"Agreed.... I think to be fair the threads got out of hand | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered She did say earlier that he was continuing to message her when in there.... Non of us know the content of the messages, nor should we, but it "sounds" like it was clear it was him.... Whatever..... The OP has used this as a warning. Then some other people quo have demonstrated a sincere lack of empathy and common sense have decided to just wade in with nonsense. Ask yourself this.... If... And I mean IF.... You saw a post saying someone was at Costa in town (yeah nutty town because she shows up on the feed in your local area every single day) would you pop down for a Latte in the hope of a chat!? If the answers yes... Disconnect your router and stay indoors. There is a lot of assuming on this thread. The OP who assumed the man looking at her in Costa was the man sending her mails ( she doesn't know as he didn't approach her ) A lot of people assuming it is the man in the coffee shop who was sending her mails The OP says she regrets putting up her post up at the time and she wouldn't do it again (it hasn't been removed as yet) You are then assuming my gender I think plus that if I decided to put my who's near on to have a nose that I shouldn't do it, do you assume anyone doing that is a predator? I have done that before, sat in a four hour traffic jam, was bored, put the who's near on and found three people to chat to who were in the same jam. I stared into peoples cars who were near to see if I had a mail just after they had finished looking at their phone. I was being nosey. This is what who's near is for, to see who is near. Again though, there are assumptions that the OP was using this but we have not had an answer as yet I have no idea of your gender... I don't particularly care. But you didn't read that someone was in a traffic jam and then drive to it did you? Yes.... Most of it is assumption based. The actual point of the whole thread was as to give a warning accepting that she had made a mistake - and some people decided to use it as a forum for saying that she was essentially being paranoid and creating drama. I'm trying to point out that it's is entirely plausible for that person sat bear her to be from fab and that she is right to raise awareness.... Having read the other thread, in doing something like that, and helping one woman (or man) avoid experiences in the other thread I believe it was a worthwhile topic for her to create... It certialy insnt scaremongering which is what it feels like she's being tarred with" Most people are talking about the big bad man who sends mails and looks at women then follows a woman ( a big assumption ) then I think you assumed I was male going by the question asked to me and the " advice" you have me if I said yes to the question. I am not sure why you think " It certialy insnt scaremongering which is what it feels like she's being tarred with" I didn't see any of that I saw a lot of support from people who assumed a lot with a few people asking for more information. | |||
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" As a male I'm sure the situation is completely different. I often stick who's near on, whilst in Morrison's. I hang around the fish counter and have never seen a soul." Boom boom | |||
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" The intense eye contact and the fact I hadnt replied to his original message of asking if I wanted his company. And then the numerous messages he sent me whilst I was in there. You’re right... I was in a public place. And he had as much right to be there as I did. But if he’s comfortable to make someone like me feel very uncomfortable then shame on him!" Anyway, I think the key message from the OP was go careful out there. And I think we’d all agree with that! | |||
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"I don’t know if I am the only one who has experienced this, but on holiday with the Who’s Near Me turned on, there was one guy that showed up as ‘Within touching distance’. Normally quarter of a mile is the least, however this happened a few times during the holiday." did he touch you and if so where? | |||
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"what did the guy turning up hope to achieve?" Coffee maybe | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly.yes he wasn't even looking at her he was day dreaming "Mark, Did the OP have a face pic on her profile, so she could be identified at any Costa in the world? | |||
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"I put a tongue in cheek post up this eve about being in costa “people watching” and trying to spot who the swingers were. Almost instantly I had about 50 inbox messages asking if I wanted company. One guy actually turned up and sat two tables down from me just staring. No prior agreement to meet up. Ok I blatantly deserve to be flamed for my inability to ensure my own safety but I did not expect that within ten minutes of sitting down. I was freaked so hopped it! Let my stupidity act as a lesson to me and my story add as a warning to others about being careful what information you put out there in this domain "Creepy much...ugh! Every day is a school day, thank you for sharing xxx | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly.yes he wasn't even looking at her he was day dreaming
Mark,
Did the OP have a face pic on her profile, so she could be identified at any Costa in the world? "chin but it's a cute chin | |||
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"Wading in here... I think that it's important to not 'victim shame' the OP, it may have been naive but she isn't responsible for the behaviour of guys who don't know or respect boundaries or respect. She wasn't asking to be stared at and even if she did want to meet someone, then it is still her choice who she meets. She didn't ask for any of this nor to feel threatened. " | |||
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"I’ve been following this interesting thread all day and I have to contribute my verdict, (as the lady of the couple) - this is total storm in a teacup!! The OP obviously wanted attention to have posted the status in the first place. I find it amusing that the op says her status said she was “people watching”... yet when people watch her in return it’s “terrifying” in some of the forum responses. For gods sake. And what is with this “victim shaming” nonsense. What exactly has the Op been a victim of??? " I agree with this ^^^ much drama! | |||
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" The issue is with that. Questioning here credibility is tantamount to victim blaming and is frankly rather distasteful and shocking Asking how she was found in Costa is not that at all. the man in Costa could be just a man having coffee for all anyone knows but he has been hung drawn and quartered No, but saying that she was at fault for posting her location is. Earlier in the thread the OP made it clear that the guy was from fab and had been turned down, or at least not replied to his repeated messages, which is the same thing. It seems clear that this guy was from fab and was overstepping. I didn't say posting her location is her at fault. I asked how the man had known which coffee shop to visit. How do you know it was clear it was anyone from here? No one knows if it is or not as he didn't approach the woman at all. For all we know he could have been staring into space thinking that he wishes his wife would hurry up as he is missing the footie on telly.yes he wasn't even looking at her he was day dreaming
Mark,
Did the OP have a face pic on her profile, so she could be identified at any Costa in the world? chin but it's a cute chin"Pmsl Mark tyvm for getting back! | |||
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" As a male I'm sure the situation is completely different. I often stick who's near on, whilst in Morrison's. I hang around the fish counter and have never seen a soul." that should be spelt sole and you have a choice lemon or dover!!!!!! | |||
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" As a male I'm sure the situation is completely different. I often stick who's near on, whilst in Morrison's. I hang around the fish counter and have never seen a soul. that should be spelt sole and you have a choice lemon or dover!!!!!! "Lemon please. | |||
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