FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How are the worst at handling rejection in the swinging world?
How are the worst at handling rejection in the swinging world?
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
some from both.... and usually the ones who have a lot of meets....
they show indignation like no other when people don't jump.
they cold turkey on the adulation cut off and can't cope. |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
Had experience of both on here, but might be different in real life.
Got called all kinds by a woman for saying no, then a male who was the opposite and a lot older than my age pref tried going for the.... Am I that ugly and unwanted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i can handle rejection - after all, you cannot appeal to everyone all of the time
the manner in which 'rejection' is carried out can leave a bitter taste sometimes tho
there is presumed rejection - no reply
there is nice rejection - no thanks, not what we are looking for etc
then there is also nasty rejection - not in a month of sundays .... and so on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rudest to me was a couple too.
Went from stunning lovely to skinny cunt within about three mails.  "
S'gustin how some people do that. It always tickles me how someone has to do that in order to justify breaking a conversation, when the other person obviously wasn't any of those things when they initially messaged them... but hey...
Wolf
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As far as rejection goes ive had a couple of guys get a bit ratty. But from what i have seen, plenty of women get their stalker/bunny boiler head on if a guy doesnt want to continue seeing them as well. So i think its across the board some men/women/couples cant take rejection and some can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rudest to me was a couple too.
Went from stunning lovely to skinny cunt within about three mails.
S'gustin how some people do that. It always tickles me how someone has to do that in order to justify breaking a conversation, when the other person obviously wasn't any of those things when they initially messaged them... but hey...
Wolf
"
.... you have to laugh though.
Same goes for all those lovely voluptuous women who are branded big fat smelly slappers when they knock people back on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. |
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"Rudest to me was a couple too.
Went from stunning lovely to skinny cunt within about three mails.
S'gustin how some people do that. It always tickles me how someone has to do that in order to justify breaking a conversation, when the other person obviously wasn't any of those things when they initially messaged them... but hey...
Wolf
.... you have to laugh though.
Same goes for all those lovely voluptuous women who are branded big fat smelly slappers when they knock people back on here. "
I get messages like that most days |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"
Same goes for all those lovely voluptuous women who are branded big fat smelly slappers when they knock people back on here.
I get messages like that most days "
Oi! Have you been reading my inbox??? |
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"
Same goes for all those lovely voluptuous women who are branded big fat smelly slappers when they knock people back on here.
I get messages like that most days
Oi! Have you been reading my inbox??? "
Ermmmmmmmm is our inbox linked...?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
From reading some posts on here recently I would say that its the single women that find it hardest to cope with rejection
One mail not replied to and they never send another initial mail again in case they get ignored a second time |
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"From reading some posts on here recently I would say that its the single women that find it hardest to cope with rejection
One mail not replied to and they never send another initial mail again in case they get ignored a second time"
I happen to agree with you.
Surely total avoidance is a greater sign of rejection issues than throwing a strop at a knockback. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From reading some posts on here recently I would say that its the single women that find it hardest to cope with rejection
One mail not replied to and they never send another initial mail again in case they get ignored a second time"
Your so right, but you have to ask yourself how many women are confident enough to actually send the initial message in the first place!
Maybe that's a question for another thread. |
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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago
belfast |
"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. "
well maybe saying ure not my type is a bit rude.U should have said ure not wot i am after.Sumtimes its not wot u say is how u say it that wined ppl up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course all poeple are different so I'd base my opinion on those that do deal with rejection in a bad way rather than those who are more balanced. In all groups I'd say the majority deal with rejection in a rational manner.
The answer all depends what you mean by the question. If you mean which group expresses the symptoms of rejection more often than others its single guys, because on average with them being in the massive majority they will be rejected the most times and therefore have more oportunity to display these symptoms. As the forum winges will bear out.
If however the question was which group member on average would handle a single rejection with the worst behaviour then I'm afraid its probably the single females. Single females on this site would not be used to getting rejected very often for sex so that when someone rejected them on account of something personal to them, say appearance as an example, it would be more likely to knock them for six. They are more likely to feel hurt, confused and angry than men are and are therefore more likely to let their temper get the better of them, verbally flying off the handle in the process. However the feelings of resentment aren't likely to last as long, due to single females usualy having a greater support network, from their "sisterhood" if you will and from the men who feel naturally protective towards them.
Couples are a tough one to call as their reaction depends on the emotions of two people, but rather than this doubling the chances of a blow up I'd say the ratio tips the other way as they have each other for support and to grumble about any rejection...
Sorry to make it such a science! I can be fun.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. "
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type? |
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"... do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?"
It depends how long they have been sitting in their car. Sometimes there isn’t enough condensation on the windows to write a message, so I just press my tits up to the windscreen. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I think there are two aspects in this thread, one is about what constitutes "rejection" and potentially associated rude replies etc...the other (and I think that was the OP's intention) is about who can actually handle rejection better.
I wonder whether the feeling of "rejection" is about one's own confidence. If I get a "rejection" I merely see this as that I dont fit his/ their criteria - does not make me less of a person. I just move on to the next. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. well maybe saying ure not my type is a bit rude.U should have said ure not wot i am after.Sumtimes its not wot u say is how u say it that wined ppl up. "
I say, thanks but your not really my type. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. well maybe saying ure not my type is a bit rude.U should have said ure not wot i am after.Sumtimes its not wot u say is how u say it that wined ppl up. "
It means exactly the same thing.
If I have to start watching how I turn people down then gods help me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too.
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?"
No, i get enough messages from men, so i dont need to contact them first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont meet women/couples so cant say ive had any experiences at rejecting any
Ive had a few nasty messages from guys ive not wanted to meet but over all its ok, just get the odd few that have to over react |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?
No, i get enough messages from men, so i dont need to contact them first."
As I'm sure most single women would say, but would it not be a better use of your time to find and approach the guys that are your 'type' instead of spending so much time rejecting the wrong type. Or is that an unnattractive proposition because of your fear of rejection? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes men dont like it when i have said that they are not my type, they message me back saying, what is your type then? I think that because other women have found them attractive, they think i should too. well maybe saying ure not my type is a bit rude.U should have said ure not wot i am after.Sumtimes its not wot u say is how u say it that wined ppl up.
It means exactly the same thing.
If I have to start watching how I turn people down then gods help me! "
I agree. They should be grateful that they even got a response. I don't see whats wrong with not being someone's type. Get over yourself ffs, do you think you're going to be gods gift to everyone? I don't think so! Some women like older men, some like younger, some like men with a bit to cuddle, some like muscles. Same for goes for men. So to receive a thanks but you're not our type is a reasonable response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think probably women ......as men are used to it lol weve mastered (well some of us have)rejection lol  "
You'd be surprised. Used to be on here as part of a couple. We just stopped replying to people we didn't want to see in the end because some of the messages we got back were shocking. Didn't bother me cause I just told them in a constructive manner to fuck off and then blocked or reported them. |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
In saying that there are some guys on here and cpls with absolutely no clue as how to conduct themselves 1 min they want to meet as they really like your profile....next min your the munters from hell because u said no thanks lol |
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"Think probably women ......as men are used to it lol weve mastered (well some of us have)rejection lol
You'd be surprised. Used to be on here as part of a couple. We just stopped replying to people we didn't want to see in the end because some of the messages we got back were shocking. Didn't bother me cause I just told them in a constructive manner to fuck off and then blocked
or reported them. "
I would not reject you lol |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
"In saying that there are some guys on here and cpls with absolutely no clue as how to conduct themselves 1 min they want to meet as they really like your profile....next min your the munters from hell because u said no thanks lol "
Ohh and have to add thats before youve exchanged face pics.....lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In saying that there are some guys on here and cpls with absolutely no clue as how to conduct themselves 1 min they want to meet as they really like your profile....next min your the munters from hell because u said no thanks lol "
lol nothing as queer as folk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world. "
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?
No, i get enough messages from men, so i dont need to contact them first.
As I'm sure most single women would say, but would it not be a better use of your time to find and approach the guys that are your 'type' instead of spending so much time rejecting the wrong type. Or is that an unnattractive proposition because of your fear of rejection?"
I would say that's probably a true assessment. I cannot understand why women are happy to sit and wait to see what's offered rather than searching for a guy who looks and meets their needs. I see it as a lack of confidence to just sit back and not message guys first.
I would say that its single women who can't handle rejection as well. Of course my statement is very generalised and there are single women who are assertive and confident and can handle it. But I have seen evidence to suggest some single women struggle with both competition from other women and rejection
 |
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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago
south coast |
"In saying that there are some guys on here and cpls with absolutely no clue as how to conduct themselves 1 min they want to meet as they really like your profile....next min your the munters from hell because u said no thanks lol
lol nothing as queer as folk "
So very true ....i just dont get some attitudes make you realise just how much of a lucky escape you just had lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'."
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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id say women . reasons are they have power here , so can afford to be very choosy . fair enough . However when ther guy says no they start to wonder. just my usually wrong opinion . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id say women . reasons are they have power here , so can afford to be very choosy . fair enough . However when ther guy says no they start to wonder. just my usually wrong opinion . "
Lmao not when you live in the Highlands there's no-one here besides us... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'.
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
You must have missed the exclamation mark & the 'Lol'
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'.
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
You must have missed the exclamation mark & the 'Lol'
Plus, I missed what was 'shocking'?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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has to be men. they cant handle it well from what i hear on here they will message a woman and if the woman gives them a polite no thanks they get abusive and say they wasnt interested in the 1st place....but was them that messaged in the 1st place hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'.
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
You must have missed the exclamation mark & the 'Lol'
"
Hmmm I'm a bit sceptical your statement was 'only a joke'. The original post that you quoted remarked on people punching below their weight, and you have made comments about women believing their own hype - aren't you just a little annoyed that you message women and they have the cheek to not answer YOU in return, how very dare they |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'.
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
You must have missed the exclamation mark & the 'Lol'
Hmmm I'm a bit sceptical your statement was 'only a joke'. The original post that you quoted remarked on people punching below their weight, and you have made comments about women believing their own hype - aren't you just a little annoyed that you message women and they have the cheek to not answer YOU in return, how very dare they "
Not really bothered what you think, though your point is fair, if inaccurate. I have never messaged a female (for the purpose of a meet), so that is not the case either. However, from people I have met & spoken too, the original quote is a fair generalisation. Females here get a lot more attention than they would, say, on a Saturday night in their local town. Many love this, & play the diva. Why the men put up with it, I don't know, sex is as freely available there as here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?
No, i get enough messages from men, so i dont need to contact them first.
As I'm sure most single women would say, but would it not be a better use of your time to find and approach the guys that are your 'type' instead of spending so much time rejecting the wrong type. Or is that an unnattractive proposition because of your fear of rejection?"
I do get a lot of messages from men who are my type as well, so no need to go looking really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unlike Babe1200, I don't find that rude, but it does make me ask the question, do you write the first message to guys you think are your type?
No, i get enough messages from men, so i dont need to contact them first.
As I'm sure most single women would say, but would it not be a better use of your time to find and approach the guys that are your 'type' instead of spending so much time rejecting the wrong type. Or is that an unnattractive proposition because of your fear of rejection?"
I have met some really good looking men, who were nice as well, only most of the really fit looking men are going to want fit looking women arent they. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a toss up between some men who believe they are pitching below their standard and some women who have forgotten that supply and demand on Fab has made them a little more 'attractive' than they really are to the same individual in the 'real' world.
I believe this too. There's nothing more annoying than being 'rejected' by someone you are 'doing a favour too'! Lol. There are also a few women who are lost in their own 'hype'.
Rejected by someone you're doing a favour too?
Thats a shocking statement to make!
You must have missed the exclamation mark & the 'Lol'
Hmmm I'm a bit sceptical your statement was 'only a joke'. The original post that you quoted remarked on people punching below their weight, and you have made comments about women believing their own hype - aren't you just a little annoyed that you message women and they have the cheek to not answer YOU in return, how very dare they
Not really bothered what you think, though your point is fair, if inaccurate. I have never messaged a female (for the purpose of a meet), so that is not the case either. However, from people I have met & spoken too, the original quote is a fair generalisation. Females here get a lot more attention than they would, say, on a Saturday night in their local town. Many love this, & play the diva. Why the men put up with it, I don't know, sex is as freely available there as here."
I have never been rude in response to a message, so do not expect rudeness in return. Yes single women/couples are in demand on this site to the high percent of single men.
Do I play a "diva" on this site, of course I do and enjoy the site for what it is. But I can also say that I could go out on a Saturday night and still get attention. I just prefer most of the time to get the attention via the site. |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
I think everyone handles rejection differently but do find that those who have been on the swinging scene longer are more accepting of the fact that they might not be someone's type.
From personal experience I've gone from gorgeous redhead to 'don't like ginger women' in three emails. All it proved was that I was correct in my initial assumption about said 'gentleman'.
It's all about personal preferences and choices. If people can't handle that then they may need to rethink why they are on the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i`d say women. men take alot more chances with it  "
Yes I would have to agree with that.
I personally tend to meet more from peops I interact with from chat room. I rarely meet from messages sent. |
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I agree with _iew about normally the ones who have lots of meets or verifications and that could be any males, females or couples.
never come across that with a bloke but I don't contact them lol. But couples have taken it badly in the past. "skinny get you should consider yourself lucky we asked you in the first place" was one reply.
Hey ho life goes on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"... you should consider yourself lucky we asked you in the first place" was one reply.
"
so nice that folks condescend to entertain others these days...
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only apply this to the men and women who do moan about rejection as most of them are pleasant people who are a pleasure to know...and these pleasant people don't usually get rejected.
Imagine a man who complains as an Ethiopian whose crop had just failed as he wasn't receiving any full stop. A woman would be represented by an American who lives next door to a McDonalds and a steakhouse.
Who do you think would complain more about going hungry in general, the Ethiopian during a famine year or the American? The Ethiopian of course who had more to complain about, as the American would never go hungry.
However put them in a situation where they were both trapped on an island for 24 hours with nothing to eat and who would complain more? To the Ethiopian it would just be an ordinary day, and while perhaps a tad glum, he wouldn't raise much of a fuss as he had already aclimbatised. The American on the other hand would probably raise holy hell about it and be a nightmare to live with as it was such a shock to their system.
This theory can be applied to all whingers.(copyright MrL77) |
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