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Gentlemen/chivalry
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a handy man too. He works for my dad.
I love it when he comes and does stuff for me, mainly because I’m not very good with a hammer or drill 
Your local handy man sounds lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i do a few jobs for a women who i used to go to school with, she has no partner but two kids, so anything too demanding or high up she asks me if i can do it, always happy to help, im rewarded with coffee as i never accept payment even though she offers it every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do that sort of stuff for my elderly neighbours
The guy used to build buses for a living so knows loads of useful stuff but he’s old and struggles to do stuff so he tells me what he needs to do and how he would do it so I learn how to do it for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? "
that he does work for nothing, no,ladder work is risky even if he's used to it give him something  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He’s just being a nice guy. It seems to be a bit of a dying art. We were in a shopping centre earlier in the week and an elderly lady had bought herself a dinner set. She came into the lift breathing heavily and struggling and had to rest it on the hand rail. I asked where her car was and carried it for her. So many others must have watched her struggle and not said anything. It’s sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I’m walking through a door and someone is two steps behind me, I will hold it open for them, doesn’t matter if man or woman, it’s just being polite... unless you self identify as a womxn. Then you can sort your self out and wouldn’t appreciate the gesture anyway as it would be the patriarchy showing dominance! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? "
Both sexes aren't equal and I'm glad of that fact |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think he just sounds a nice guy. I'm quite traditional in my ways, and I find I have always stuck to tradional roles with partners, I cook he takes the bins out etc.
I went on a recent social where the guy was a total gentleman, pulled my seat out for me opened the doors etc. I was totally swooning from them acts alone. What can I say I like a gentleman who treats me like a lady in public. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it were a handy woman we wouldn’t be having this discussion, even if she wanted to do more than put your lights up.
He’s probably just being a nice guys. But even if he would like more out of it, surely that’s a compliment to you. And you have the right to say no.
Not every male on the planet is a rapist, sex pest, serial killer or Donald Trump.
Maybe he is just getting into the Christmas spirit. |
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By *ruebameMan
over a year ago
from the womb and tryout to get back |
Agent3 he is just been kind I do this for a few locals in my area because I have a ladder and training wouldn't want a woman to end up falling also do a few other jobs to help them out its just kindness and hate seeing people struggle or been ripped off  |
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By *uryWhipMan
over a year ago
Harringay |
Sounds like a nice guy, they do exist though I'd worry about the chivalry, i wouldnt want some bloke poncing my garden on a horse with a jousting stick. As for the equality side, theres nothing with getting sonething for free. I have a neighbour whos handy man. We have to ask him all the time for stuff and he always refuses payment. We tried to give him an expensive bottle of whiskey once and he refused it. His wife hates him doing things for us but i think he's diamond bloke. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
I help people to but it's nice to be offered
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
Accept the offer agent..... Chivalry does still exist...
There's bugger all wrong with it and if I was being chivalrous.... Which is entirely possible.. And someone tried to claim equality I think I'd probably laugh at them and go and be chivalrous elsewhere.... I don't get why people would turn down help.. Male or female |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People used to do kind things, without putting it on social media and telling everyone about it. He’s probably from that generation that don’t think it’s a big deal to help someone out.
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
I think it’s great when people do things out of kindness. It’s fine to offer to pay him but if he refuses then graciously accept his kind act.
I think the best way to respond is to do something kind for someone else (pay it forward). If everyone did that the world would be a much nicer place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
If you’ve offer once and he’s said no, just say are you sure once again. If he’s said no again, don’t push it, just accept he wants to do it for nothing. He obviously gets pleasure from helping people out. Just thank him after obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
They do still exist!
Might be rare today, but there are still a few around.
I would suggest you don't offer to pay him, certainly a cuppa and biscuits! You could buy some cans or a bottle and give him as a thank you for his help during the year? Wrap it in Christmas paper as it's that time of year. Just shows you appreciate what he has done for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he's retired then he's probably glad of something to do.
Accept his offer in the spirit it was given. If it were me I'd cook for him or something to repay the favour. And pay it forward.
Too much cynicism in these times, and people are internalised, once upon a time people had a support network in their neighbours, now we barely know who our neighbours are.
Such a shame.
I look out for the old couple across the road, will pop over and put their bins out, check in to see if they need anything from the shop when the weather is bad. Not a lot I know, but means a lot to them |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? "
A gentleman is just a patient Wolf.  Probably wants to nail you and I can't blame him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? A gentleman is just a patient Wolf. Probably wants to nail you and I can't blame him. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? A gentleman is just a patient Wolf. Probably wants to nail you and I can't blame him. "
wow  |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? A gentleman is just a patient Wolf. Probably wants to nail you and I can't blame him. "
You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally. |
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"Agent3 he is just been kind I do this for a few locals in my area because I have a ladder and training wouldn't want a woman to end up falling also do a few other jobs to help them out its just kindness and hate seeing people struggle or been ripped off "
Well said. |
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"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? "
Of course it's acceptable, don't be caught up in the PC BS that's ruining the world.
Genuine acts of kindness should be welcomed and enjoy it for what it is because in 5 years time he'll have to bring a woman a disabled person a foreign couple a lesbian a gay guy along to your house just so that he is seen to have given the same opportunity to clean your gutters for free |
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
You can always pay him in kind. if he won't accept money, try getting him a few beers or a bottle of something at Christmas. That's of course if he drinks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's less to do about sexes being equal and more to do with him just being a nice guy.
I hope you get him biscuits to go with his cuppa! "
I'd not responsible too much into it, I've fixed people's computers for them and not seemed anything back for, more that the offer is just that an offer of help.  |
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Sounds marvellous OP, but then I've been lucky enough to grow up in a supportive community where people did this kind of thing all the time without even thinking about it.
I remember Christmas Days when our elderly neighbours were gone to have dinner with members of their family, my sister and I would be sent across the fields to their houses before it got dark to set and light their fires and turn on their porch lights so that they would return to warm, cosy homes that night.
Now, as I live alone, my neighbours check on me... Offer to split wood, clean gutters, rod drains, etc., I thank them and do the things myself anyway (why not when I'm capable?), but it's always good to know that those times when I'm unable to do some things (I recently spent 2 months on crutches), there are people who will be happy to help out |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... "
Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women."
wow you really are a piece of work |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work "
Facts don't care about your feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x"
I have a rule about free help. I offer to pay them on two occasions - before they do the work and afterwards in case they've changed their minds. If they refuse twice I mentally store the "debt" in my mind, then at Christmas they'll get something nice. My new-ish neighbour who has three times this year fixed a puncture on my wheelchair will get a case of Gentleman Jack. I can afford to get the punctures repaired professionally, and he can afford his own booze but that's not the point. He seems to enjoy helping, we have some great conversations about the old days and he's good laugh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People used to do kind things, without putting it on social media and telling everyone about it. He’s probably from that generation that don’t think it’s a big deal to help someone out.
"
Unless he’s filming himself... and finishes by patting her on the head? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work Facts don't care about your feelings "
it’s not a fact though, you’re generalising, or making an assumption based on your own personal interactions with other guys. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work Facts don't care about your feelings
it’s not a fact though, you’re generalising, or making an assumption based on your own personal interactions with other guys."
I think you will find if you look it is a statistical fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work Facts don't care about your feelings
it’s not a fact though, you’re generalising, or making an assumption based on your own personal interactions with other guys. I think you will find if you look it is a statistical fact. "
where is your source to back said fact up please, im generally interested where you’ve read this now. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work Facts don't care about your feelings
it’s not a fact though, you’re generalising, or making an assumption based on your own personal interactions with other guys. I think you will find if you look it is a statistical fact.
where is your source to back said fact up please, im generally interested where you’ve read this now."
Search for it yourself. There are numerous sources because women in general have more empathy than men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You think he is doing it for the Susan Boyle lookalike down the road too? People don't graft for free without some kind of angle normally.
yes they do ... Yeah and the overwhelming majority that do are women.
wow you really are a piece of work Facts don't care about your feelings
it’s not a fact though, you’re generalising, or making an assumption based on your own personal interactions with other guys. I think you will find if you look it is a statistical fact.
where is your source to back said fact up please, im generally interested where you’ve read this now. Search for it yourself. There are numerous sources because women in general have more empathy than men. "
oooooh so you got it off the internet? Ok, i won’t comment anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The point I was trying to make was in the modern world is it acceptable for me to accept his kind offer or do I risk offending him by insisting he takes payment, I absolutely believe he hasn’t got another agenda, he does loads of work for us trimming bushes hedges etc. I like to believe we live in a world where gentlemen still exist x
I think it’s great when people do things out of kindness. It’s fine to offer to pay him but if he refuses then graciously accept his kind act.
I think the best way to respond is to do something kind for someone else (pay it forward). If everyone did that the world would be a much nicer place. "
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"We have a local handy man that clears the guttering etc he is coming around today to put up my Xmas outside lights on the house, he knows my hubby is abroad working and offered to do it he won’t take any money as he says it’s the right thing to do. Personally I think he’s being lovely a kind generous gentleman, I don’t want to get up a ladder etc. But in the modern world is this acceptable? As both sexes being equal ? "
How dare he be so nice, and to offer something like that, he obviously wants to get in to your knickers, have him arrested and charged.
Let him do it, if you want it done.
I'm sure he would settle for a thank you and a mince pie. #BeingNeighbourly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chivalry isn't dead, not at all!
I like to think I'm a kind hearted soul and treat others with respect, so if I can do it - then I'm sure there are millions out there like me.
I'd take it as a polite offer and nothing more - he's just being a kind gentleman. |
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