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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone offered to put my tights on for me  "
It amused me imagining someone helping put your tights on, it just wouldn't work, you need to do that hold the top and stretch your legs out thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it's always " massage "
Or use them as a slave or a toilet 
I also hate messages that offer stats as the first message
" 8 inches, heavy cummer, breathe through my ears, shaved " etc ..
Just no.
|
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"This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day.."
When I was injured I had plenty of offers of healing cock  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day..
When I was injured I had plenty of offers of healing cock "
Ha ha they're relentless aren't they... love the way it's nearly always strangers too.. not even guys I've ever spoken to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone offered to put my tights on for me
It amused me imagining someone helping put your tights on, it just wouldn't work, you need to do that hold the top and stretch your legs out thing "
Totally. And I think a general rule of thumb would be if it's something I can do better myself, they're pretty surplus to requirements. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? "
Because they've gotta use an angle. It's insecurity. Like seeing these guy's going into clubs with big kit bags looking like they're gonna do some DIY with all their tools. |
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"The offer I get most is to 'take' me to Vanilla (swingers' club in Dublin). It would be flattering if I wasn't around long enough to know that they probably couldn't get an invite without bringing a female 
Oh... And I've been offered sun holidays a few times  "
Once in awhile I'll get guys writing to me telling me that it's my duty to take them to clubs! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? Because they've gotta use an angle. It's insecurity. Like seeing these guy's going into clubs with big kit bags looking like they're gonna do some DIY with all their tools. "
I've always wondered what's in those bags! Sometimes I think it's where they keep their personality and sense of humour.  |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? Because they've gotta use an angle. It's insecurity. Like seeing these guy's going into clubs with big kit bags looking like they're gonna do some DIY with all their tools.
I've always wondered what's in those bags! Sometimes I think it's where they keep their personality and sense of humour. "
Probably that too I asked 1 once "Have you come to fix the Jacuzzi?" The look on his face was priceless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? "
They've watched too much porn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve been offered a free trip to London for a week all expenses paid....
When I told him I wanted to stay at the Dorchester Hotel, he called me bloody rude.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? "
im a hairdresser if you'd like a trim  |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Oh and the "nothing in return" guys who want to just come give you oral
This is called a pussy Slave....
This is actually a fetish..."
Yeah but these guys try to use it as a way in too. A lot of women aren't gonna be satisfied with just that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh and the "nothing in return" guys who want to just come give you oral
This is called a pussy Slave....
This is actually a fetish..."
I’ve indulged once or twice  |
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When I first posted for profile advice a “straight” guy messaged me, initially gave some advice, and then asked if I’d ever fancied giving a blowjob ...
I blocked single guys after a couple of experiences like that. |
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"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? "
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert?  |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? "
Thought you were taking me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? "
Delete+Block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? "
I wouldn’t go and see a Rita Ora concert if she was playing in my front room. |
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"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? Thought you were taking me "
Yep. Looks like that’s back on . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh and the "nothing in return" guys who want to just come give you oral
This is called a pussy Slave....
This is actually a fetish... Yeah but these guys try to use it as a way in too. A lot of women aren't gonna be satisfied with just that."
I wouldn’t know... I’m black... I don’t eat pussy.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? Thought you were taking me "
Whoa hang on... I thought you were taking me? You didn't tell me you were meant to be going with White  |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? Thought you were taking me
Yep. Looks like that’s back on . "
|
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"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? Thought you were taking me
Whoa hang on... I thought you were taking me? You didn't tell me you were meant to be going with White "
I think he was lining up a beardy surprise for you. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert? Thought you were taking me
Whoa hang on... I thought you were taking me? You didn't tell me you were meant to be going with White "
busted  |
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"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand?
What about if I offered to take you to a Rita Ora concert?
I wouldn’t go and see a Rita Ora concert if she was playing in my front room. "
I bet you still would though... |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Oh and the "nothing in return" guys who want to just come give you oral
This is called a pussy Slave....
This is actually a fetish... Yeah but these guys try to use it as a way in too. A lot of women aren't gonna be satisfied with just that.
I wouldn’t know... I’m black... I don’t eat pussy.."
You're like the Italian Americans then. I seen on The Sopranos that it is considered not manly to do so. |
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"This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day.."
Oh interesting, I need a decorator and a plasterer  |
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"This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day..
Oh interesting, I need a decorator and a plasterer "
I'm very partial to getting plastered |
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"This week everyone's a decorator... since I posted I'm painting I've been inundated with naked decorator offers with payment in kind..should really invite them all round and go out for the day..
Oh interesting, I need a decorator and a plasterer
I'm very partial to getting plastered "
Actually me too lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?"
This hurt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?"
My brain just done a backflip and landed on its neck 
Although a brilliant tongue twister lol |
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"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?
This hurt "
Sorry, maybe you will get an offer of a massage to make it better |
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"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?
My brain just done a backflip and landed on its neck
Although a brilliant tongue twister lol"
A massage for the tonsils |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?
This hurt
Sorry, maybe you will get an offer of a massage to make it better "
Fingers crossed! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I had a Thai massage once from a tiny woman who told me I could scream if I wanted to. I nearly did. I haven't been back"
I had one on a beach from a Thai lady, she pummelled me so hard I nearly peed myself! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a Thai massage once from a tiny woman who told me I could scream if I wanted to. I nearly did. I haven't been back
I had one on a beach from a Thai lady, she pummelled me so hard I nearly peed myself! "
Don't you mean squirt?  |
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"I had a Thai massage once from a tiny woman who told me I could scream if I wanted to. I nearly did. I haven't been back
I had one on a beach from a Thai lady, she pummelled me so hard I nearly peed myself! "
.
This woman took me into a basement room, locked the door and proceeded to basically rough me up . I'm not keen on massages etc but I won it in a raffle |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I had a Thai massage once from a tiny woman who told me I could scream if I wanted to. I nearly did. I haven't been back
I had one on a beach from a Thai lady, she pummelled me so hard I nearly peed myself!
.
This woman took me into a basement room, locked the door and proceeded to basically rough me up . I'm not keen on massages etc but I won it in a raffle "
I'd of been out of there when she locked the door! I can remember saying to my lady 'you're very strong for a little person'
And, yes, Doc I meant squirted!! |
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By *ensualbicockMan
over a year ago
liverpool wavertree picton clock |
"I had a massage in China that lasted 3 hours ...amazing it was
Was that at the infamous four floors in Hong Kong? "
No it was in Shenzhen , don't know what the place was called but before massage I had a leg and foot massage aswell while watching Barca v Real while drinking tea ....was good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people offer a massage like it's gonna make you desperate to meet them?
Is it just me? I'm just not attracted to the thought of a stranger massaging me. It just seems a bit too intimate a starting place.
What else do people offer you don't understand? "
It’s not just you! I’ve had this too.
I’m the same, I don’t really get off on the idea of being massaged by someone I don’t know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’d like a massage message.
If I message you a massage message would you message me a massage message or would you massage a message to message me a massage?"
Confused the hell out of me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage. "
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged |
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"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage.
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged "
Not if you’re lying face down on a massage table. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage.
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged
Not if you’re lying face down on a massage table. "
Yeah, just wrap my arms round under the table and look at my phone through the hole. |
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"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage.
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged
Not if you’re lying face down on a massage table.
Yeah, just wrap my arms round under the table and look at my phone through the hole. "
I’ll have to try that.
I normally have to wait until they flip me over for the happy ending . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage.
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged
Not if you’re lying face down on a massage table.
Yeah, just wrap my arms round under the table and look at my phone through the hole.
I’ll have to try that.
I normally have to wait until they flip me over for the happy ending . "
I guess that's good so you can watch porn and pretend the masseuse is a sexy woman not Dave the destroyer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Oh and the "nothing in return" guys who want to just come give you oral
This is called a pussy Slave....
This is actually a fetish... Yeah but these guys try to use it as a way in too. A lot of women aren't gonna be satisfied with just that.
I wouldn’t know... I’m black... I don’t eat pussy.. You're like the Italian Americans then. I seen on The Sopranos that it is considered not manly to do so."
No in my Bdsm/cuckold playing giving women oral sex is the duty of the cucks... his only reward is to get his wife ready for me and clean up after I’m finished.... |
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"I like foot, oil and Thai massage.
Foot massage is convenient.
Convenient for what?
Your hands are free so you can peruse fab while you’re enjoying the massage.
But my hands would always be free if I'm the one being massaged
Not if you’re lying face down on a massage table.
Yeah, just wrap my arms round under the table and look at my phone through the hole.
I’ll have to try that.
I normally have to wait until they flip me over for the happy ending .
I guess that's good so you can watch porn and pretend the masseuse is a sexy woman not Dave the destroyer. "
Dave the destroyer is a double bag situation: a bag over his head and a bag over mine, incase his falls off.
Then I can just lie back and imagine he’s a 5”2” woman called Ying . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always like to giv massage befor sex its a great way to relax a partner and slowly turn on the nervous system especialy if folowed by licking to orgasam before sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had Thai birds massage me at work and I love it ..im getting paid and they're doing the bizzo"
Now why did I read that as they're doing the bingo?
Must be my overtired brain keeping me awake again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then  |
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then "
Was he ugly? Did you accept his money? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then "
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
Was he ugly? Did you accept his money? "
Why would I..? I haven't met him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner...."
700 quid. |
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"Massage? Ah no. Couldn’t think of anything less sexy for a complete stranger. Massage is absolutely hurty, horrible and makes me cry. Definitely not an aphrodisiac!"
You’ve never been for a hot stone massage, then?
Invariably delivered by a complete stranger in exchange for good cash money . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
700 quid. "
I’m jealous |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
Was he ugly? Did you accept his money?
Why would I..? I haven't met him.
Sorry. Totally misunderstood (I thought you meant to say that he wrote you a message on the way out). "
I would never meet anyone who offers money for sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
700 quid.
I’m jealous "
No need to be. |
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner...."
I guess a tenner in dollar terms isn't that much...
I twigged earlier that Chelsea actually means Chelsea, NY.
Holding my lighter up in the air for you, as you speak.
How is the (bigger) smoke? |
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"Massage? Ah no. Couldn’t think of anything less sexy for a complete stranger. Massage is absolutely hurty, horrible and makes me cry. Definitely not an aphrodisiac!"
It helps if the person doing the massage, uses oils , then I wouldn't mind ! Obviously helps if there is an attraction though.
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"Massage? Ah no. Couldn’t think of anything less sexy for a complete stranger. Massage is absolutely hurty, horrible and makes me cry. Definitely not an aphrodisiac!
You’ve never been for a hot stone massage, then?
Invariably delivered by a complete stranger in exchange for good cash money . "
I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m too wussy to try it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
I guess a tenner in dollar terms isn't that much...
I twigged earlier that Chelsea actually means Chelsea, NY.
Holding my lighter up in the air for you, as you speak.
How is the (bigger) smoke? "
Honestly NYC isn’t the same anymore.... all the cool people have been priced out.... it’s become a soulless city. With no mom and pop stores and overrun by tourists.... |
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
I guess a tenner in dollar terms isn't that much...
I twigged earlier that Chelsea actually means Chelsea, NY.
Holding my lighter up in the air for you, as you speak.
How is the (bigger) smoke?
Honestly NYC isn’t the same anymore.... all the cool people have been priced out.... it’s become a soulless city. With no mom and pop stores and overrun by tourists...."
Much the same as London, then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
I guess a tenner in dollar terms isn't that much...
I twigged earlier that Chelsea actually means Chelsea, NY.
Holding my lighter up in the air for you, as you speak.
How is the (bigger) smoke?
Honestly NYC isn’t the same anymore.... all the cool people have been priced out.... it’s become a soulless city. With no mom and pop stores and overrun by tourists....
Much the same as London, then. "
Yes but the problem is the poor people need a place to live also...
We need affordable housing.... but I digress....
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I lived on a first floor with no lift back then
How much did he offer?
I don’t get offered more than a tenner....
I guess a tenner in dollar terms isn't that much...
I twigged earlier that Chelsea actually means Chelsea, NY.
Holding my lighter up in the air for you, as you speak.
How is the (bigger) smoke?
Honestly NYC isn’t the same anymore.... all the cool people have been priced out.... it’s become a soulless city. With no mom and pop stores and overrun by tourists....
Much the same as London, then.
Yes but the problem is the poor people need a place to live also...
We need affordable housing.... but I digress....
"
Much the same as London, then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been offered a free flat ...(lol yeah right I really believed that of course)
As for the massage , I would like one of those tantric, soft stroking type of thing...if you know what I mean"
I've got some guy asking me how I shit. I ended conversation before he offers to wipe me arse |
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"I've been offered money a few times. Once by a disabled guy in a wheelchair who called himself ugly. He wrote he would leave cash on a bedside table on his way out.
I would never meet anyone who offers money for sex. "
I think I could be tempted under the right circumstances, I never have though I must add ... |
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