FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do we assume?!
Why do we assume?!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful "
Well I imagine it's because many here women and men have cheated or are cheating and remember as humans we are all different and require different trust levels |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful Well I imagine it's because many here women and men have cheated or are cheating and remember as humans we are all different and require different trust levels "
A cheat is not the same though! Known cheaters must expect people to possibly have issues trusting them, surely? Promiscuity is not the same and I don't understand when people think differently. Although I don't really get how people that have been cheated on expect their next bf/gf to do the same... I dunno, maybe I am just weird  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful Well I imagine it's because many here women and men have cheated or are cheating and remember as humans we are all different and require different trust levels
A cheat is not the same though! Known cheaters must expect people to possibly have issues trusting them, surely? Promiscuity is not the same and I don't understand when people think differently. Although I don't really get how people that have been cheated on expect their next bf/gf to do the same... I dunno, maybe I am just weird "
isn't it a case of once the flags go up the thought process adjusts eg you like sex and with lots of different partners so why would that change if you settled into a relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a general rule I never assume about anything. I will take my leave with a little teaser for people who may enjoy a bit of assuming.
You should never assume because when you assume, you make an ass of "u" and "me".
As you were. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful "
We/I certainly don't. Maybe some people do but nothing that's ever bothered me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful Well I imagine it's because many here women and men have cheated or are cheating and remember as humans we are all different and require different trust levels
A cheat is not the same though! Known cheaters must expect people to possibly have issues trusting them, surely? Promiscuity is not the same and I don't understand when people think differently. Although I don't really get how people that have been cheated on expect their next bf/gf to do the same... I dunno, maybe I am just weird isn't it a case of once the flags go up the thought process adjusts eg you like sex and with lots of different partners so why would that change if you settled into a relationship "
Because you meet someone that makes you only want to have sex with them?!? I met someone I felt that way about after a few months and alot of men on fab, they were just sex... He wasn't.. It doesn't always work that way, but if I didn't feel that way then I would never consider a monogamous relationship with that person. Just because some people are arseholes doesn't mean we all are. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a general rule I never assume about anything. I will take my leave with a little teaser for people who may enjoy a bit of assuming.
You should never assume because when you assume, you make an ass of "u" and "me".
As you were."
Pahaha cheeky! I like people who don't assume too much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful "
People assume lots of thins that are not right for various reasons its just in some peoples nature. It doesn't piss me off its just the way they are so tend to leave them to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful "
I wonder what assumptions you make, and how they make other people feel.
People assume because they don’t know it’s how people work, you can’t know everything about everyone.
Also there is a lot of hypocrisy in the world, people like rules but only when they don’t apply to themselves. |
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I can understand why men are nervous about the ease with which women can get sex on here or at a club. Once someone knows how easy that is to do, I guess for some people it would become too much of a temptation, and for others it would mean they were unwilling to put up with going without ever again. The same is true for successful men - knowing the way chats go on here it would be harder to trust them completely.
I think it is that nervousness as much as, if not more than, them considering there is something 'wrong' with someone they like on here.
I do know people who trusted their partner, and came off here, only to find out a couple of years later that they had had dozens of meets. Shit does happen.
But I think you would need to know the person too. It's actually much easier for me to stick to one person, if I am living with a partner I love I have no need for anyone else and don't even look at other men. |
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Assumption is a natural instinct it will always happen it is for safety purpose, also, an assumption is the mother of fuck ups. So you can't win either way. Until said person understand where you are coming from they will likely go by the society or majority point of view. |
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"It's a reasonable assumption. If you like permiscious sex then why deny yourself permiscious sex in a relationship!? You either like permiscious sex or you don't. "
I disagree - I'm sometimes in the mood for it, but mostly not - I usually prefer 'the devil I know'. |
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"It's a reasonable assumption. If you like permiscious sex then why deny yourself permiscious sex in a relationship!? You either like permiscious sex or you don't.
I disagree - I'm sometimes in the mood for it, but mostly not - I usually prefer 'the devil I know'. "
But surely the "mostly not" means your not especially permiscious when single? |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?!"
I don't think so. I think a fair few guys wouldn't date a woman off here as they'd feel insecure about dating someone who's been promiscuous or sexually adventurous. This may be due to insecurity (were previous lovers better/did they have bigger dicks etc) or due to the tendency in society still to view women who have a lot of sexual partners as being "damaged goods" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why no one should use this place as a dating site.
We are all adults who have been in relationships. In those relationships, we know that our partner has had other relationships before ours.
Would we like to meet the people who they've been with? Would we be happy knowing they still chat or keep in touch even if they told us their just friends? Are we going to believe that after a while of a particular way of life that he/she is just going to cut everyone of that way of life off? |
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"It's a reasonable assumption. If you like permiscious sex then why deny yourself permiscious sex in a relationship!? You either like permiscious sex or you don't.
I disagree - I'm sometimes in the mood for it, but mostly not - I usually prefer 'the devil I know'.
But surely the "mostly not" means your not especially permiscious when single? "
Not especially no, but if I am single and fancy having sex with someone I have no intention of having any kind of ongoing relationship with then I will.
A high proportion of society would call that promiscuous, even if I rarely feel like it. |
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"It's a reasonable assumption. If you like permiscious sex then why deny yourself permiscious sex in a relationship!? You either like permiscious sex or you don't.
I disagree - I'm sometimes in the mood for it, but mostly not - I usually prefer 'the devil I know'.
But surely the "mostly not" means your not especially permiscious when single?
Not especially no, but if I am single and fancy having sex with someone I have no intention of having any kind of ongoing relationship with then I will.
A high proportion of society would call that promiscuous, even if I rarely feel like it."
I wouldn't. I'd call that casual. Promiscuous requires frequency. |
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"It's a reasonable assumption. If you like permiscious sex then why deny yourself permiscious sex in a relationship!? You either like permiscious sex or you don't.
I disagree - I'm sometimes in the mood for it, but mostly not - I usually prefer 'the devil I know'.
But surely the "mostly not" means your not especially permiscious when single?
Not especially no, but if I am single and fancy having sex with someone I have no intention of having any kind of ongoing relationship with then I will.
A high proportion of society would call that promiscuous, even if I rarely feel like it.
I wouldn't. I'd call that casual. Promiscuous requires frequency. "
Not necessarily, but regardless, the desire for meaningless sex comes and goes for some, even those who can be truly promiscuous - and particularly goes when they enter a relationship. Some people are just built like that. |
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"A high proportion of society would call that promiscuous, even if I rarely feel like it.
I wouldn't. I'd call that casual. Promiscuous requires frequency. "
What happens if you are temporarily promiscuous then, like I was back in the 80's? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering why people still assume that, people who are promiscuous while single, cannot be faithful in a relationship?! Is this why alot of the guys on here would not have a relationship with a woman off of here?! These things really piss me off. I do have alot of sex, with different guys, while single but have been in 2 long term relationships where I was monogamous and faithful, so to assume I am incapable of being so... Well you know... Are there any assumptions that people make about you that really piss you off?! PS... A swinging couple that are always honest, I consider faithful Well I imagine it's because many here women and men have cheated or are cheating and remember as humans we are all different and require different trust levels
A cheat is not the same though! Known cheaters must expect people to possibly have issues trusting them, surely? Promiscuity is not the same and I don't understand when people think differently. Although I don't really get how people that have been cheated on expect their next bf/gf to do the same... I dunno, maybe I am just weird isn't it a case of once the flags go up the thought process adjusts eg you like sex and with lots of different partners so why would that change if you settled into a relationship
Because you meet someone that makes you only want to have sex with them?!? I met someone I felt that way about after a few months and alot of men on fab, they were just sex... He wasn't.. It doesn't always work that way, but if I didn't feel that way then I would never consider a monogamous relationship with that person. Just because some people are arseholes doesn't mean we all are. "
Well true but don't you ever think to yourself say for example about a person you know but not well, that he's a really nice honest person and then find out he's anything but, it's natural to judge someone by their deed don't you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assumptions cause far too much unnecessary drama!
If you want to know the answer to something just ask, it really is that simple! 
Jo.Xx"
ok does that arse fit on my lap Jo? |
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All people don't assume this, me included. To make judgements and assumptions about your loyalty in a relationship is foolish based on sexual exploits. Surely the true measure is a persons gistory of their conduct within a relationship? I often think there is an element of glass houses with lots of people. They often measure others against a different measure from what they use on them self. People need to grow up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assumptions cause far too much unnecessary drama!
If you want to know the answer to something just ask, it really is that simple!
Jo.Xxok does that arse fit on my lap Jo?"
Ok, answer to that would be No!
Because my bum is too big!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assumptions cause far too much unnecessary drama!
If you want to know the answer to something just ask, it really is that simple!
Jo.Xxok does that arse fit on my lap Jo?
Ok, answer to that would be No!
Because my bum is too big! "
awwww I have a big bum I can not lie but it looks good to my eye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't date anyone off here either. I wouldn't trust them to give up swinging.
The idea of fab is that you wouldn't want them to give up swinging
That's why it's called "fab swingers". "
Where does it say that it's mandatory to date someone off here? I won't. |
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