FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I need some advice
I need some advice
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make a genuine apology then give the person some space. Don't make excuses for your behaviour, justify yourself or imply that they bear some responsibility."
Agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey all I need some advice I have ruined something that was really good for me and that made me happy how do I make amends because at the moment i'm not able to and it's making me feel miserable "
What have you done x |
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If it's a relationship type thing, give the person some space. Grieve, and work on it yourself. In time, apologise in a way that leaves the door open but places zero obligation on the other party to engage if they don't want to.
It sucks, but it's the high road here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey all I need some advice I have ruined something that was really good for me and that made me happy how do I make amends because at the moment i'm not able to and it's making me feel miserable "
Depends what you did or said to the lady concerned
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?"
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A genuine apology, sooner rather than later. No 'if's or buts', a genuine apology. Great idea from Nicecouple, put it in writing if you feel you cannot speak to them. Keep it simple. I owe you a massive apology and beg your forgiveness, I can't imagine not having you in my life.....and let them respond in their own time. |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x
I said something I shouldn't have"
Say sorry, apologise and mean it.
Accept you were in the wrong.
Give them space to think about it.
And most importantly learn from it, think why you did it, work on that and don't do it again.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Can you not drip feed us and just tell us what happened x
I said something I shouldn't have"
What did you say and who exactly did you say it to x |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space"
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology. |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology."
thats's what i have done |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology."
Definitely.
Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.
If they want to get in touch they know where you are!  |
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"If your going to poo in a friends slipper they should forgive you if you hug there left bum cheek"
Noted for future reference. I've been hugging the right bum cheek. I can't tell you the number of friends I've lost this way... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All you can do is not repeat your mistakes in the future on the past relationship well what is done is done you can rarely put things back to how they were. |
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"All you can do is not repeat your mistakes in the future on the past relationship well what is done is done you can rarely put things back to how they were. "
I know it would never be the way it was I just wish it could go back to being that way I know it sounds a bit naive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.
Definitely.
Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.
If they want to get in touch they know where you are! "
I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.
Words are easy to say actions are harder to do. So rather than just say sorry make sure you show it, it's a woman then send flowers or somethi g she likes. If it's a guy order a pizza to his place and have the pizza place right on the lid of the box... this worked for me once.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.
Definitely.
Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.
If they want to get in touch they know where you are!
I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.
Words are easy to say actions are harder to do. So rather than just say sorry make sure you show it, it's a woman then send flowers or somethi g she likes. If it's a guy order a pizza to his place and have the pizza place right on the lid of the box... this worked for me once.
"
Sorry I should have spell checked that before I posted it. Damn autocorrect! |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space
Leave it then
Friends talk to each other. They might have a period of time when they can't articulate their feelings and don't want to be in contact but eventually they will talk.
Go about your business and leave them alone after you have sent your apology.
Definitely.
Sending multiple unwanted messages which are not being responded to could be construed as harassment, so I definitely wouldn’t send any more until they contact you.
If they want to get in touch they know where you are!
I wouldn't say one apology and leave it, show your apologise in more ways than words.
Words are easy to say actions are harder to do. So rather than just say sorry make sure you show it, it's a woman then send flowers or somethi g she likes. If it's a guy order a pizza to his place and have the pizza place right on the lid of the box... this worked for me once.
"
That’s true. But it sounds like he may have sent several messages already.
We don’t really know enough about the circumstances to offer much more advice. But if you’re messaging someone and they aren’t responding, it’s not a good idea to keep going. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?
If so and the romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated then they’ll back off so as not to encourage you. They may feel uncomfortable being around you now. If you just give them time and say you were caught up in the moment and didn’t want things to be awkward, in time it should sort itself out. |
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"Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?
If so and the romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated then they’ll back off so as not to encourage you. They may feel uncomfortable being around you now. If you just give them time and say you were caught up in the moment and didn’t want things to be awkward, in time it should sort itself out. "
I wondered if it was along those lines. That can be the quickest way to ruin a friendship (so is sleeping with them  ). |
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"Have you told a female friend that you have romantic feelings for them and now it’s messed up your friendship?
If so and the romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated then they’ll back off so as not to encourage you. They may feel uncomfortable being around you now. If you just give them time and say you were caught up in the moment and didn’t want things to be awkward, in time it should sort itself out. "
Nope that’s not what it is |
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"A relationship/friendship ?
it was a friendship
Then do as I suggested, in writing if they won't talk to you.
What else do you think you can do?
I don't know and I have sent them a few messages but I believe i'm getting the silent treatment so i'm giving them space"
Yup. Do that - true friends come round given time. |
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