FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ghosting..

Ghosting..

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean.

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

Not been coming on the forums until very recently, but this is a subject I see come up all the time. It's diabolical that some men lack the courage of their convictions.

Just think of how worse you would feel if you found out he had such little character after you did meet and perhaps liked more. Lucky escape for you hun. Hold your head high and ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes it’s happened to me, actually met the person for a social, was making plans for the follow up meet. Lots of sexy talk and pics shared on Kik and suddenly he’s not been on here or Kik. Feels very weird and not nice x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, intense conversations that just end with no explanation. It was a little confusing at first, though I know can appear to go quiet for no reason, so figure either someone is going to open up about is happening or disappear completely.

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though! "
Sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though! "

I don't get why guys do this

I just hope it comes back to haunt them

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By *iSTARessWoman over a year ago

London

Yep. Hard to not take it personally when everything is going well and then nothing.

Was stood up myself on Saturday by someone verified, seemed lovely but obviously got a better offer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I first joined I got chatting to a girl I thought was perfect for me...we chatted for weeks and weeks. The day before we were due to meet she said she was ill so could we rearrange. No problem. Then her messages started getting fewer and then she deleted her kik account and left FAB.

I wasted 2 months on that person and I still don’t know what happened. She had about 5 verifications too so wasn’t some guy pretending.

So now I make sure I speak to a few people so if one goes I’m not left with nothing.

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

It goes both ways, women do it to guys all the time too, usually means someone they see as better has caught their eye. It would be nice to be told rather than blanked but people are cowards. It's not just a fab thing, people do it all the time in the real world too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yep. Hard to not take it personally when everything is going well and then nothing.

Was stood up myself on Saturday by someone verified, seemed lovely but obviously got a better offer

Standing people up is the worse, I get people can get nervous or have second thoughts but we are all grown ups here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When I first joined I got chatting to a girl I thought was perfect for me...we chatted for weeks and weeks. The day before we were due to meet she said she was ill so could we rearrange. No problem. Then her messages started getting fewer and then she deleted her kik account and left FAB.

I wasted 2 months on that person and I still don’t know what happened. She had about 5 verifications too so wasn’t some guy pretending.

So now I make sure I speak to a few people so if one goes I’m not left with nothing. "

Ha this made me laugh. Do you tell the next one down that they were second choice though!?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I wasted 2 months on that person and I still don’t know what happened. She had about 5 verifications too so wasn’t some guy pretending.

So now I make sure I speak to a few people so if one goes I’m not left with nothing. "

Sadly even verifications aren't always a cast iron guarantee, as they can actually be quite easily faked once you have one - not saying that was the case here, and appreciate the frustration after that amount of time has been spent messaging.

Sadly Fab throws these mysteries our way at times and you just have to shrug your shoulders and move on, otherwise it'll drive you nuts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honestly this happens when a fuck buddy or friend with benefits starts getting feelings.....

It’s a polite way of saying..... I enjoy having sex with you but I need space.....

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

See where some get their name from!

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though! "

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

I don't get why guys do this

I just hope it comes back to haunt them

I believe for some they simply like the thrill of it & thinking about what *could* happen, then they bottle it last minute.

I’ve had it happen before, and guys have come back days later to apologise and blame “nerves” and ask for a second chance. If someone’s nervous it’s best to tell the other person rather make them waste time or money.

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By *agneto.Man over a year ago

Bham

"It goes both ways, women do it to guys all the time too, usually means someone they see as better has caught their eye. It would be nice to be told rather than blanked but people are cowards. It's not just a fab thing, people do it all the time in the real world too

Yeah especially internet dating sites too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness. "

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

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By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Their loss!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning"

Ah, thank you!

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

Ah, thank you!

Agreed... wow lady... nothing to fret over.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens a lot, not just on dating sites. Both men and women do it. Its cruel and spineless imo

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By *pider-WomanWoman over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Be careful of the person who sees the whole process as " investing time".

He will go to any lengths for an outcome for that time (whatever it takes).

Sometimes we see the true person before and the ghosting its a lucky escape its better than being put in a position you maybe don't feel comfortable but carry on because you feel guilty or that you should.

I'm sorry OP for your experiance but onwards and upwards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

Ah, thank you!

Agreed... wow lady... nothing to fret over."

Thank you!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

Ah, thank you!

Agreed... wow lady... nothing to fret over.

Thank you!

You’re beautiful lady. Love the new pics. I wanna go on holiday

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By *arkme4lifeWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

Ghosting is cowardly and disrespectful. And happens everywhere.

Worse when you consider them a friend

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By *orny IrishMan over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

This sucks and is not very nice but there seems to be a few abiyt doing it.

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By *parksAbiWoman over a year ago

Anywhere I like

"Ghosting is cowardly and disrespectful. And happens everywhere.

Worse when you consider them a friend"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

Ah, thank you!

Agreed... wow lady... nothing to fret over.

Thank you!

You’re beautiful lady. Love the new pics. I wanna go on holiday

Thank you very much! I’m feeling the love haha!

The holiday was amazing, was absolute hell coming back to the cold though! Only downside to a autumn/winter holiday!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s happened to me twice.

All great right up until I get to the place we are supposed to meet then nothing.

I see it as I’ve dodged a bullet, can be annoying though!

Wow, you've been physically stood up twice?! Madness.

I have!

This is why I’m very wary & very picky with who I speak to on here now, and haven’t met anyone yet.

Wow,your new pics are stunning

Ah, thank you!

Agreed... wow lady... nothing to fret over.

Thank you!

You’re beautiful lady. Love the new pics. I wanna go on holiday

Thank you very much! I’m feeling the love haha!

The holiday was amazing, was absolute hell coming back to the cold though! Only downside to a autumn/winter holiday!

Oh god I bet it was! Temperature has really dipped now too

. I want my flip flops back!

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By *osmocoupleMan over a year ago

East Sussex

We've been stood up loads of times...One guy rang and chatted with me (C) every day for about a fortnight. ..then just never turned up at the meet.

Even had one guy message. .just leaving, see you in an hour. Then never turned up at the hotel and disappeared on here and WhatsApp.

It's difficult not to take it personally.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To me, ghosting is when you've already met up a few times then never hear from them again, rather than someone just stopping chatting on here. It's shit when it happens, especially when emotions have been invested

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

"We've been stood up loads of times...One guy rang and chatted with me (C) every day for about a fortnight. ..then just never turned up at the meet.

Even had one guy message. .just leaving, see you in an hour. Then never turned up at the hotel and disappeared on here and WhatsApp.

It's difficult not to take it personally.

Xx"

There are truely some idiotic people on here!

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By *osmocoupleMan over a year ago

East Sussex

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean. "

I had a 'friend' like that who didn't actually disappear but he avoided me and wouldn't talk to me for months. He made me feel worthless.

I eventually told him exactly how he made me feel and he finally agreed to meet and talk. He apologised for treating me so badly and he's talking normally to me again, which I find really weird. It makes me feel crap.

Don't feel bad OP, they are not worth feeling crap about. Real friends care about you and wouldn't disappear.

The other possibility is that they developed feelings for you and so had to make a clean break. X

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

You'll probably find they'll get back in touch in about 6 months time like nothing has happened. You can then tell them to f*ck off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

I can see that is very natural - conversation has got to a point where the only thing left to do is meet. Some people are not as brave in reality as they are typing over the internet. I think they then get embarrassed, or scared and leave.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not been coming on the forums until very recently, but this is a subject I see come up all the time. It's diabolical that some men lack the courage of their convictions.

Just think of how worse you would feel if you found out he had such little character after you did meet and perhaps liked more. Lucky escape for you hun. Hold your head high and ignore them. "

It is not only men who do that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation)."

I thought ghosting is when you've actually met the person.

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

"How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean.

I had a 'friend' like that who didn't actually disappear but he avoided me and wouldn't talk to me for months. He made me feel worthless.

Don't feel bad OP, they are not worth feeling crap about. Real friends care about you and wouldn't disappear.

The other possibility is that they developed feelings for you and so had to make a clean break. X"

Why would you agree to meet him? He wasn't worth the effort. All I can think is that he got under your skin.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation).

I thought ghosting is when you've actually met the person."

People don’t seem to grasp this point......

Ghosting is only done after meeting someone....

Zombing is only done after meeting someone also.....

If you have never met a person and only chatted online.... this is not ghosting....

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

"Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation).

I thought ghosting is when you've actually met the person.

People don’t seem to grasp this point......

Ghosting is only done after meeting someone....

Zombing is only done after meeting someone also.....

If you have never met a person and only chatted online.... this is not ghosting...."

Is that breadcrumbing?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation).

I thought ghosting is when you've actually met the person.

People don’t seem to grasp this point......

Ghosting is only done after meeting someone....

Zombing is only done after meeting someone also.....

If you have never met a person and only chatted online.... this is not ghosting...."

There are quite a few meanings online actually...

This is one;

“Ghosting is an online term that can have at least two meanings

First:

Ghosting can mean the viewing of a stream/streamer for the purpose of gaining information that could be used to gain an advantage against them (no matter if they're a team or an individual)

Second:

Ghosting can mean the shutdown/ceasing of communication with someone without notice. This can include but doesn't always require the closing or shutting down of social media accounts or ports of contact such as email addresses or phone numbers.”

So some will have a different view of ghosting to others. Either way, ceasing contact with people you’ve been speaking to without explanation or warning is a shit thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean.

I had a 'friend' like that who didn't actually disappear but he avoided me and wouldn't talk to me for months. He made me feel worthless.

Don't feel bad OP, they are not worth feeling crap about. Real friends care about you and wouldn't disappear.

The other possibility is that they developed feelings for you and so had to make a clean break. X

Why would you agree to meet him? He wasn't worth the effort. All I can think is that he got under your skin. "

Good question. Because I'm an idiot. He even said himself that he was surprised I was still speaking to him after how he'd treated me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happens all the time - a lot of people seem to enjoy the attention, titillation and flattery and then seem to get cold feet regarding meeting, stop responding to messages, then disappear.

For other ghosts, maybe their circumstances simply change and they move on (without the courtesy of an explanation).

I thought ghosting is when you've actually met the person.

People don’t seem to grasp this point......

Ghosting is only done after meeting someone....

Zombing is only done after meeting someone also.....

If you have never met a person and only chatted online.... this is not ghosting....

Is that breadcrumbing? "

Yes ..... breadcrumbing can be zombing....

It’s basically responding to text infrequently....

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By *orksRockerMan over a year ago

Bradford

"How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean.

I had a 'friend' like that who didn't actually disappear but he avoided me and wouldn't talk to me for months. He made me feel worthless.

Don't feel bad OP, they are not worth feeling crap about. Real friends care about you and wouldn't disappear.

The other possibility is that they developed feelings for you and so had to make a clean break. X

Why would you agree to meet him? He wasn't worth the effort. All I can think is that he got under your skin.

Good question. Because I'm an idiot. He even said himself that he was surprised I was still speaking to him after how he'd treated me.

He must look like George Clooney or you did fall for him a little.. Or you are just a nice lady.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How many of you have come across it?

Can it happen when you aren't dating the person but you talk to them loads and are engaged in sexual activity and making plans?

I feel like I’ve been ghosted recently and it’s felt gutless and mean.

I had a 'friend' like that who didn't actually disappear but he avoided me and wouldn't talk to me for months. He made me feel worthless.

Don't feel bad OP, they are not worth feeling crap about. Real friends care about you and wouldn't disappear.

The other possibility is that they developed feelings for you and so had to make a clean break. X

Why would you agree to meet him? He wasn't worth the effort. All I can think is that he got under your skin.

Good question. Because I'm an idiot. He even said himself that he was surprised I was still speaking to him after how he'd treated me.

He must look like George Clooney or you did fall for him a little.. Or you are just a nice lady. "

None of the above. He made me feel crap but I wouldn't let him get away with treating me like that. He apologised so now we're speaking again because it's better that way for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've currently got this going on with someone I've met a few times...it's a bit of a headfuck