FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Who takes the Dom role or sub roll.....
Who takes the Dom role or sub roll.....
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"I can imagine you dominating poor shy and retiring Wendy! You cad sir!!!!! "I wish lol xx  | |||
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"I like a man to be a man x " Oh a sub man can be a man believe me lol xx | |||
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"Im very much the submissive in my relationship with my man..hes very dominant so it works well...thats both in AND out of the bedroom "But not when it comes to you buying shoes! | |||
"Im very much the submissive in my relationship with my man..hes very dominant so it works well...thats both in AND out of the bedroom
But not when it comes to you buying shoes! "I actually do as im told now..his way is best..but he buys me shoes so its all good | |||
"I actually do as im told now.." Have a word wi her for me please xx | |||
"I actually do as im told now.. Have a word wi her for me please xx "what word would you like? | |||
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"I actually do as im told now.. Have a word wi her for me please xx what word would you like? "Ha bloody ha xx | |||
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" it's not a role, just a fact of how I am." Your role in life then? xx | |||
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"I can't be sub, but I can't be a total dom either. I don't like being ordered around by anyone, and although I'm a manager I ask people to do things rather than order them to do things. I'm the same in my sex life too "+1 I was trying to think of a way of putting it but you got it spot on. Thanks | |||
" it's not a role, just a fact of how I am. Your role in life then? xx "Nope - in my life I am much more of a chameleon... | |||
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one of kevs jokes is"i thought you were meant to be sub",usually when he wants me to put the bins out or go to the shop
i always reply im not a service sub
sexually i am submissive,and always have been,as someone else said,its just the way i am,however i only submit to one person,it might seem a subtle difference,but it isnt.When i am sucking cock,or enjoying rough sex,being a sex toy,it brings me pleasure because thats the kind of sex i enjoy,when i am with Sir,my pleasure is his pleasure. | |||
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"I like a man to be a man x Oh a sub man can be a man believe me lol xx "I think that's a misconception a lot have that sub men are not manly. All my playmates are alpha males. One runs his own construction company, another is a director in an aviation company and my other half is UK manager for a telecommunications company. All 6ft and over and "manly". For them, relinquishing control to me sexually is a form of stress relief. They are in control in their business lives, they have to make decisions. With me taking the reins works perfectly. | |||
" it's not a role, just a fact of how I am. Your role in life then? xx
Nope - in my life I am much more of a chameleon..."now i am thinking of boy george,which is just wrong | |||
"I like a man to be a man x Oh a sub man can be a man believe me lol xx
I think that's a misconception a lot have that sub men are not manly.
All my playmates are alpha males. One runs his own construction company, another is a director in an aviation company and my other half is UK manager for a telecommunications company.
All 6ft and over and "manly".
For them, relinquishing control to me sexually is a form of stress relief. They are in control in their business lives, they have to make decisions. With me taking the reins works perfectly. "Whilst submitting for me is not stress relief,i do wish we could kill the idea that sub women are doormats, sub men are wimps... i think enough forumites know me to know a doormat is the last thing i am | |||
"Which relationship
one of kevs jokes is"i thought you were meant to be sub",usually when he wants me to put the bins out or go to the shop
i always reply im not a service sub
sexually i am submissive,and always have been,as someone else said,its just the way i am,however i only submit to one person,it might seem a subtle difference,but it isnt.When i am sucking cock,or enjoying rough sex,being a sex toy,it brings me pleasure because thats the kind of sex i enjoy,when i am with Sir,my pleasure is his pleasure."Can I ask something Jem, and this is a genuine question and not meant to offend in any way. You are submissive sexually in general but submit to one person you say. The person you submit to, is that not your husband, and if not, how does you husband feel that you are completely at another mans whim. I know you talk a lot about Sir on the forum and it almost feels at times that he is your main concern and I wonder about the dynamics in relation to your husband and whether he is in fact in a kind of cuckold situation. | |||
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"Which relationship
one of kevs jokes is"i thought you were meant to be sub",usually when he wants me to put the bins out or go to the shop
i always reply im not a service sub
sexually i am submissive,and always have been,as someone else said,its just the way i am,however i only submit to one person,it might seem a subtle difference,but it isnt.When i am sucking cock,or enjoying rough sex,being a sex toy,it brings me pleasure because thats the kind of sex i enjoy,when i am with Sir,my pleasure is his pleasure.
Can I ask something Jem, and this is a genuine question and not meant to offend in any way.
You are submissive sexually in general but submit to one person you say. The person you submit to, is that not your husband, and if not, how does you husband feel that you are completely at another mans whim.
I know you talk a lot about Sir on the forum and it almost feels at times that he is your main concern and I wonder about the dynamics in relation to your husband and whether he is in fact in a kind of cuckold situation. "Not offended at all iconic,because one of the things i like about you is the fact you are genuinely interested in people and what makes them tick
First,you have to be aware kev does not "do" the internet,Sir does,he posts on the forum,this is not to say that i would not be happy with kev reading anything i write, but that in this space my responses are written in a certain context.
Posting that i just had a wonderful shag with my soulmate would be redundant, he wouldnt read it and its not swinging.
i often post about bdsm,cos there are only me cali and sassy about to combat a lot of the misaprhensions,and myths that abound.
How does kev feel about the fact another man has control...ahhh well thats the point at which the lifestyle bdsm folk would pillory me .Why? Because i have a Master who likes and respects kev,whose first rule is nothing should interfere with my family life.
Yes Doms can have limits
When i first looked for a Dom,finding one who understood my family would come first took some time.Finding one bright enough to not only accept that,but prefer it was just the jackpot!
Is kev cuck...no, he is a voyeur,but most importantly he has no possessiveness or need to "own" me.On my blog i refer to him a the resident buddhist,for good reason,he believes we all have our own path to take When Sir visits he sees the smiles ,thats enough for him | |||
"I like a man to be a man x Oh a sub man can be a man believe me lol xx
I think that's a misconception a lot have that sub men are not manly.
All my playmates are alpha males. One runs his own construction company, another is a director in an aviation company and my other half is UK manager for a telecommunications company.
All 6ft and over and "manly".
For them, relinquishing control to me sexually is a form of stress relief. They are in control in their business lives, they have to make decisions. With me taking the reins works perfectly. "Very much depends on what peoples idea of an alpha is though sassy, it differs a lot | |||
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"Thank you Jem, it is very interesting for me and I do enjoy hearing about the dom/sub lifestyle. I am fascinated by it but I know I couldnt be involved. For one thing, whilst Im fairly sexually submissive, I couldnt let myself by submissive entirely to another person. I could not imagine being hurt during sex and enjoying it. I dont equate pain with sex, I equate pain with violence and I am suspicious of men who can inflict pain on women, probably more so than the other way around. But I am the first one to admit my ignorance because I dont understand it. The only experiences I have had within the BDSM world, and these were within a working environment, were negative and criminal, so I struggle to understand a positive _iew of it. I question things only because of my upbringing and experiences and never because I want to deliberately offend. Like I said, I accept I have limited understanding. "Firstly remember for many bdsm does not involve pain,i am a pain slut,i actually orgasm from pain,another reason,i looked after much discussion with kev,for someone outside. He believes hitting a woman is wrong, more than that though i believe asking him to do something that he felt uncomfortable with would be wrong. i love the man he is and do not wish to change him. As for being suspicious of men who can inflict pain,tbh you are right. A large part of the reason i do not hang round on fet sites is because they are full of nutters
i am very lucky, Sir is self aware and analytical,many of us have extreme fantasies or desires,being aware of them,and in control makes us safer. | |||
" it's not a role, just a fact of how I am. Your role in life then? xx
Nope - in my life I am much more of a chameleon...
now i am thinking of boy george,which is just wrong "He was, allegedly, a tidy boxer in his youth. | |||
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"the second response is : mrs bus and my fb were talking about me (yes, they know each other and both are ok with each other - infact they gang up on me when they're together lol) his opinion was that i like my own way too much, that it's very much my way or the highway her retort was 'that's not the case - you have to let him think he's getting his own way' crafty cow "No, a woman | |||
"Awayman I read your first and the above post with interest Regarding your last post let me clarify something This thread was actually started tongue in cheek But I'm actually pleased at the interesting in-depth answers Yes I'm sub now but it wasn't always the case I was a very dominant person both in everyday life and sexually I loved to inflict pain in the bedroom However one night about 5/6 years ago I lost total control with my ex partner and it wasn't pretty (actually it came very close to hospital) From that night forward once I had seen the violence I was capable of inflicting I became completely the opposite With Wendy's help I'm trying to get back to a comfortable and controllable level again but it is difficult for me ( although she is a dominant personality she also likes someone to take control occasionally) However can I stress that although I am submissive it does not mean or ever has meant I'm a push over xx "And the reason why I persist with this forum is because sometimes people make thoughtful, insightful contribs like yours Soapy..... Have I ever lost control? Not in the bedroom, but yes, in the past my anger has got the better of me. A guy stabbed me at work a long time ago and I fear I might have killed him if I hadn't been pulled away - one punch is enough in the wrong circumstances and I'm sure I threw more than one... I'm not very angry these days. Not in that way, anyway. In fact, as is often pointed out by some on here, I'm a bit of a liberal do gooder. Make of that what you will... | |||
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"Awayman I read your first and the above post with interest Regarding your last post let me clarify something This thread was actually started tongue in cheek But I'm actually pleased at the interesting in-depth answers Yes I'm sub now but it wasn't always the case I was a very dominant person both in everyday life and sexually I loved to inflict pain in the bedroom However one night about 5/6 years ago I lost total control with my ex partner and it wasn't pretty (actually it came very close to hospital) From that night forward once I had seen the violence I was capable of inflicting I became completely the opposite With Wendy's help I'm trying to get back to a comfortable and controllable level again but it is difficult for me ( although she is a dominant personality she also likes someone to take control occasionally) However can I stress that although I am submissive it does not mean or ever has meant I'm a push over xx
And the reason why I persist with this forum is because sometimes people make thoughtful, insightful contribs like yours Soapy.....
Have I ever lost control? Not in the bedroom, but yes, in the past my anger has got the better of me. A guy stabbed me at work a long time ago and I fear I might have killed him if I hadn't been pulled away - one punch is enough in the wrong circumstances and I'm sure I threw more than one...
I'm not very angry these days. Not in that way, anyway. In fact, as is often pointed out by some on here, I'm a bit of a liberal do gooder. Make of that what you will...
"Soapy and _wayman... my experience, limited as it is that men(and i can only really write about Dom men) who are willing to accept that their violent urges exist, and can channel them are far safer to be around as a sub. A Dom who is not self aware is the real danger. And a confession,i have talked about trying to Domme,to experience it, my conclusion was that i have still unresolved anger issues that might lead me to make decisions i would regret. We all need to accept who we are,and our motivations. | |||
