I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.
I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.
Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.
I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’
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"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..
I need cheering big time!!"
Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.
My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help? |
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"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you think santa
Will let me cum all over you
Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. "
It puts me on his naughty list?????? |
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"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..
I need cheering big time!!
Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.
My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?"
Thank you kindly...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you think santa
Will let me cum all over you
Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. "
id love a gadget show haul..i might even share it with you if you ask nicely |
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"Roses are red
Violets are blue
Do you think santa
Will let me cum all over you
Is that really the question you’d ask Santa? I’d ask him for this weeks Gadget Show haul to be honest. id love a gadget show haul..i might even share it with you if you ask nicely"
It was my idea. I should cocoa you’d share it! |
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"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..
I need cheering big time!!
Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.
My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?
Thank you kindly... "
Fabber can be exceedingly kind. Don’t be afraid to vent into the forums x |
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"My best friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened he was chuffed to bits.
(I got lost trying to find the door)"
An odd way to choo-se to go. Hope the end was rail-y fast. |
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One day, a little boy and a little girl are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better.
After much arguing to and fro, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have.”
The little girl is annoyed and upset by this, as what the boy says is obviously true. So she runs home to her Mom, crying.
A short time later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She goes to the boy, drops her pants and says, “My Mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!” |
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"My best friend always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened he was chuffed to bits.
(I got lost trying to find the door)
An odd way to choo-se to go. Hope the end was rail-y fast. "
Ok, I had a proper good belly laugh at that.
That response was far superior to the joke |
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"Ice had a bereavement yesterday.. clicking in Fab to escape..
I need cheering big time!!
Oh lovely. Life is a big massive wanker sometimes.
My condolences. Will a massive hug with a cuddly lady in a Bambi onesie help?
Thank you kindly...
Fabber can be exceedingly kind. Don’t be afraid to vent into the forums x"
I did wonder if I ought too or not...
but I'm using this a tool to distract today...not much unlike yourself..
funny stuff keep it coming |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.
I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.
Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.
I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’
"
Book marking this ... This week is gonna be pure shite for me 
So if I can smile at what folk leave you it won't be all bad |
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"I know - you’d need a JCB to do that.
I’ve had a really flipping weird week and need a pep up to get me through the next one.
Please regale me with funny anecdotes, those sarky inspirational quotes or pass on a little kindness to others on the thread.
I’ll start with errr... ‘An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough’
"
Lol that made me laugh! I’ll carry an apple with me think week
Hope you have a better week ahead MrsMac |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx |
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"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx"
Well... the onesie is correct but the Sailor didn’t play. I had a kitchen disco whilst I cleaned. Was very miffed that when I went to catch up with CC funk n soul that CC wasn’t there so I put on some punk and put my head in the oven. It’s all sparkly clean and the fumes made me feel like I was at a space party  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx
Well... the onesie is correct but the Sailor didn’t play. I had a kitchen disco whilst I cleaned. Was very miffed that when I went to catch up with CC funk n soul that CC wasn’t there so I put on some punk and put my head in the oven. It’s all sparkly clean and the fumes made me feel like I was at a space party "
Haha xx |
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"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx
I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well."
Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx
I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well."
Yep sparkly ones xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx
Hahaha love it. "
I did too xx |
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"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx
I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well.
Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather. "
No fluffy slippers, what kind of Blackpool landlady are you!! |
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"i was in a bar in manchester a while ago sitting on a bar stool ...this guy comes over to me ...says ladies dont sit with there legs open....i replyed...i aint no lady.."
I bet his face was a picture |
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"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx"
Hahahahahahaha love that one!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A man and a woman were watching tv the husband kept changing the channel
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
for fuck sake leave it on the porn you already know how to play golf xx
Hahahahahahaha love that one! "
|
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A vampire walks into a bar, 'pint of blood landlord' he says. The barman gives him his order.
A second vampire walks into the bar, 'pint of your finest blood please' he says. Again, the barman pours his order.
A third vampire walks into the bar and says 'a mug of hot water please barman'. The barman looks puzzled at the vampire, and asks- 'why the fuck do you want hot water for?' The vampire answered- 'i found a used tampon and i'm making tea'. |
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Q: Who is the most popular man in a nudist colony?
A: The guy who can carry two pitchers of beer and a foot of onion rings!
Q: Who is the most popular girl in a nudist colony?
A: The girl who can eat the last onion ring
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can think of two words that will put a smile on your face....
KITCHEN DISCO
I can just see her doing this in her onesie with a sailor Jerry xx
I bet she's got fluffy slippers as well.
Sadly not. That’s what you can buy me for xmas. My Birkenstocks aren’t really up to the cold Blackpool weather.
No fluffy slippers, what kind of Blackpool landlady are you!!"
No woman is a real woman until she rocks the fluffy slippers. |
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"Whats the Difference between a Woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Nothing.
When your finished with the leg and the breast, you still have a greasy box to stick your bone into.
"
And they are both finger licking good |
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