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giving birth
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wish i could have delivered naturally, feel cheated by having to end up with a c-section.
Are more women choosing to have elected cesareans because they don't want to push? Frankly i don't see any benefits from having one unless baby or mothers health requires intervention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my thoughts exactly i had both by emergency c section. then 10yrs after my daughter was born i had to have emergency bowel op. the scar tissue from the c section had caused a blockage.
c seaction is def not the easy option at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wish i could have delivered naturally, feel cheated by having to end up with a c-section.
Are more women choosing to have elected cesareans because they don't want to push? Frankly i don't see any benefits from having one unless baby or mothers health requires intervention."
i just popped my babies out in a few hours so did my mum ....i thought my daughter would be the same and was all prepared to be her birthing partner ....but she had a plancental abruption both she and the baby nearly died (in fact i watched both their monitors flat line .......) but miraculously they both survived... so there is a place for caesareans the recovery is tough tho and my daughter had to have 2 more babies by c section .. i have no idea why anyone would "elect" to have a caesarian ??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i just popped my babies out in a few hours so did my mum ....i thought my daughter would be the same and was all prepared to be her birthing partner ....but she had a plancental abruption both she and the baby nearly died (in fact i watched both their monitors flat line .......) but miraculously they both survived... so there is a place for caesareans the recovery is tough tho and my daughter had to have 2 more babies by c section .. i have no idea why anyone would "elect" to have a caesarian ??? "
So glad that story had a happy ending x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well i would of had a c-section if i could have done, it would have been easier and less painful. having the stiches put in was as painful as giving birth as well.  |
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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago
from a town near you |
my first was c section he got stuck in the birth canal wouldnt go up wouldnt go down lol
but my next two were natural,
know what you mean about feeling cheated though i did too,
but at least we had our babies and a happy ending
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first was an emergency c section as she was complete breech and 12 hours of labour didn't budge the little madam but my second was a vaginal delivery. I had to be under consultant care for the birth but that's no bad thing is it? I'd choose natural birth over an assisted delivery every time... Although my baby days are well and truly over. |
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By *essesCouple
over a year ago
nottingham |
I felt cheated too. I had to have an emergency section after 20 hours of labour and due to the scar tissue had to have one, second time around. I would of loved the full experience but in the end am just happy they were both born safe and well.
Lisa |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my son was 37hrs labour before c section. my daughter only 15hrs different hospitals. i wouldnt change it though as i had to healthy babies years ago it could of been a differnt story. |
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what difference does the way you gave birth make? as long as you have a healthy happy baby at the end of it?
if you feel cheated by haing to have a c section, just think how those who pushed and strained only to have no baby to take home at the end of it must feel
just be grateful for what you have got, nothing you can do about not doing it naturally. you might not have got what you have now if they ad carried on down the natural route |
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Both of my labours where long, and had to have forceps with both of them, by that stage after 16 hrs i didnt care, I had to have internal and external stitches with both. My youngest was born not breathing and it was the scariest 5 minutes i've ever lived through(seemed a hell of alot longer). So to me as long as the baby is born healthy and living, I wouldn't care how the birth happened.
My heart goes out to the ones that are not as fortunate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wish i could have delivered naturally, feel cheated by having to end up with a c-section.
Are more women choosing to have elected cesareans because they don't want to push? Frankly i don't see any benefits from having one unless baby or mothers health requires intervention."
i never realised it was a choice
Ive had natural birth and a section, i didnt get the choice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well i would of had a c-section if i could have done, it would have been easier and less painful. having the stiches put in was as painful as giving birth as well. "
believe me as someone whos had both a section is not the easy option, id take the natura birth any day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I gave birth twice naturally but unfortunately the first time left my child severely disabled due to an error by a doctor, as others have said it does not matter which way so long as the child is healthy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first birth was natural, didn't feel a thing. They had to wake me to push.
My life is never easy and I knew it was a fluke...I was right. The second was breach and the xray showed I had a very narrow pelvis so a caesarian was booked. Never felt pain like it. 
When I had my son I had pre-eclampsia so had an emergency caesarian. My body had bloated so much and I was in a coma for four days. The wound broke down when my body returned to normal. It was packed with two sterile sanitary towels. My husband had to change and clean the wound, drying it with a hairdryer...he was amazing.
As I'd had two caesarians, the third was automatic. I had three caesarians in four years...decided to be sterilised at the same time.
Do I feel cheated? No, not at all. I found it hard to bond with my youngest because I thought she was going to die like her brother.
They said my son died of cot death, but when I went to have my daughter they said "this baby might have the same heart defect that killed your son, so there will be a specialist team on hand". No one had told us. Nine hours before birth was not the time to drop that bomb shell.
My daughter had a hole in her heart which caused me to further be detached from her. My husband was more positive, absolutely adored her. Her name means father's joy...very apt. Even today, 20 years on you seldom see one without the other! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what difference does the way you gave birth make? as long as you have a healthy happy baby at the end of it?
if you feel cheated by haing to have a c section, just think how those who pushed and strained only to have no baby to take home at the end of it must feel
just be grateful for what you have got, nothing you can do about not doing it naturally. you might not have got what you have now if they ad carried on down the natural route"
Good post...couldn't agree more!  |
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be grateful you have a healthy child. anyone who has lost a baby certainly wouldnt have cared how they had given birth as long as it had been healthy. my waters went at 29weeks and i was given the may not survive chat they kept me going until 33 weeks then induced me. 21 years later i still count my blessings every day |
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"i am totally grateful that i have a wonderful child, was just saying that it would have been nice to experience a natural birth, its a life process."
its not, its a dying process if your body cant handle it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i am totally grateful that i have a wonderful child, was just saying that it would have been nice to experience a natural birth, its a life process.
its not, its a dying process if your body cant handle it.
"
yup i can understand that too. |
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49 years ago at the age of 17 my mum gave birth to a little boy who died a couple of weeks later who would probably survived had he been born today. i feel cheated that i never got to meet my older brother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i am totally grateful that i have a wonderful child, was just saying that it would have been nice to experience a natural birth, its a life process.
its not, its a dying process if your body cant handle it.
"
Very true, I nearly died I could feel my body giving up and my only thought was my child, wish in the case of my first born they would have done a C-Section things might have turned out different but at least we are all still together |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ladies i'm really sorry to hear of all the losses of life and genuinely wish that things could have turned out differently and everyone had the happy outcome
was mearly asking why would women elect to have a cesarean given the choice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Siren was placenta previa with out first child and this one is breach. She is having a c-sec on Thursday as it has been explained to us that because the baby is breach they could try and turn her (we declined that option immediately), and that she couldn't try for a breach vaginal birth because of the problems with our first pregnancy (her existing scar could rupture).
A C-sec is the only viable option for us but it is still classed as an elective casaerian.
Ultimately, it's down to the mother-to-be to determine for herself how she feels it would be best for her and her baby and it is nobody else's business how she chooses to deliver her baby into the world.
And it's got bugger all to do with this 'rights of passage, I delivered naturally' nonsense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think that it shouldnt be something people can choose to do.. and I am sure under my local hospital you cant pick to have a c section just because..
I had all of mine naturally... labours ranged from 6 hours to 35mins..
I nearly lost my last little girl though.... and would never feel cheated..
GOne are the days where if your first as a c section you have to have the subsequent children that way.. I know a few women that had to have c sections to save mother and babies life... that then went on to have normal deliveries.
I thought the to posh to push bit was long gone.. 
Cali x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had no choice two c sections my body does not go into labour two children both induced waters break put on a drip. In the end my youngest was delivered emergency as she was distressed. One thing they go on about a birth plan but when it comes to it all those plans go out the window. |
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By *acciWoman
over a year ago
leeds |
I had all 3 of mine by natural birth and im truly bleesed my children are now adutls n my boys are healthy. My daughter how ever has brittle bones so when her son was breach she had to have a C-section n yes she said she felt cheated,I guess we all have different feelings which is good makes us all indivuals. She has just had her 2nd child 3wks ago (little girl) and was told a C-section was adviced,she had a great midwife who let her have a natural birth n thankfully no bones were broken. And now not only does she have a healthy 8yrs old son but a beautiful healthy baby girl,and i have my 13th grandchild x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my eldest child weight in at 12 pounds 5 once let me tell you now im bloody glad i didnt have to push her out lol"
my brother was 12lb 2 and my mum had to have him at home.. and he was breach.. now he is my oldest brother.. I am shocked my Mum EVER had more kids.. lol
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my eldest child weight in at 12 pounds 5 once let me tell you now im bloody glad i didnt have to push her out lol
my brother was 12lb 2 and my mum had to have him at home.. and he was breach.. now he is my oldest brother.. I am shocked my Mum EVER had more kids.. lol
Cali "
all my babies have been big besides the one i lost, i had twins with my second pregnacy my daughter was another 12 pounder my son was 1 pound 2 once, he never really recovered and i lost him at 20 months, my youngest was 8 week premature and still weighted 8pound 10 so had i gone full tearm she'd had probably been just as big 
theres no wonder my belly looks like a deflated balloon lol |
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"my eldest child weight in at 12 pounds 5 once let me tell you now im bloody glad i didnt have to push her out lol"
That wasnt a baby that was an elephant. Callum only weighed 8lb 2oz when he was six months old and 15lb 5oz on his first birthday lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"my eldest child weight in at 12 pounds 5 once let me tell you now im bloody glad i didnt have to push her out lol
That wasnt a baby that was an elephant. Callum only weighed 8lb 2oz when he was six months old and 15lb 5oz on his first birthday lol"
she was huge, i had to go out and buy all new clothes for her as all the new born stuff was to small, her first baby grows was 3 to 6 months, when they did the heel test at 10 days they weighted her and she was a ounce off 15 pound lol |
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"my eldest child weight in at 12 pounds 5 once let me tell you now im bloody glad i didnt have to push her out lol
That wasnt a baby that was an elephant. Callum only weighed 8lb 2oz when he was six months old and 15lb 5oz on his first birthday lol
she was huge, i had to go out and buy all new clothes for her as all the new born stuff was to small, her first baby grows was 3 to 6 months, when they did the heel test at 10 days they weighted her and she was a ounce off 15 pound lol "
See i was completely the other way round, although callum weighed 4lb he didnt grow(well he did but very slowly) he was always height weight proportant. But in those days you couldnt buy premature clothes it was a nightmare, and when i fitted into new born baby stuff he looked stupid cause he was a year old. I remember buying him a thermal hat the only premature thing i could find and it cost over £10 in those days that was a lot of money. I had to get all my nappies from the hospital cause they didnt sell them in shops. Things have changed so much nowadays |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i had 2 c sections with babies no1 & 3 as they were both breech but thankfully no2 managed to get himself the right way up and i delivered him myself, i choose my 1st section, put my foot down to have a trial of labour with no2 but was told i had no choice over my 2nd section, i was really dissapointed but understood the reason for it |
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"what difference does the way you gave birth make? as long as you have a healthy happy baby at the end of it?
if you feel cheated by haing to have a c section, just think how those who pushed and strained only to have no baby to take home at the end of it must feel
just be grateful for what you have got, nothing you can do about not doing it naturally. you might not have got what you have now if they ad carried on down the natural route"
I agree 100%. I wish I could have felt 'cheated' back in 1986 when I decided to have a natural birth in a small delivery unit. There were unforeseen complications and I was rushed by ambulance to the big maternity hospital in the next town for an emergency C section but didn't make it in time - the result was that my beautiful son died with the cord wrapped firmly around his throat twice. Don't feel cheated - feel happy you had a baby to hold at the end of it all.
You get pregnant to have a baby - not a birthing experience xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first was just shy of 9lbs And was born at 36 weeks... He too had to have 3-6 months clothes because he was so long... Only two of my girls were small enough for new born lol
I actually went into labour after a scan where they predicted he would be about 12lb... Lol
Cali x |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
As long as mother and baby are both well that's all that matters. Traumatic births can be difficult to get over though regarless of delivery.
Enjoy them while they are babies, they grow up so fast!
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"Rosie was 9lb 2 at birth. Now she is 13 5ft 7 size 8 to 9 shoes and stunning"
oh after the bone scan callum had at 3 they told me id be lucky if he reached 5ft. Hes around 5ft 7 slim build but not thin and has always been really fit and healthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you can choose to have a caesarean section if there are no suspected complications, unless you go private. The cost of the operation, theatre, staff etc, is too expensive for a woman to be able to choose cos she can be arsed to push.
Some women who are suspected to have complications ie, breech births, are offered a trial of labour first with theatre on standby.
Both my boys were delivered by caesarean section because my pelvis is too small to deliver naturally. I do not feel cheated out of a natural delivery as I was able to stay awake, watch the operation through the theatre lights and had baby given to me as soon as they could after vital checks. |
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I had a really bad labour, noone told me that with induced labour you got contractions constantly(well i did) but when it came to the pushing, he was out in three pushes, he fell out the peodatrician had just turned round to put her gloves on and out he popped |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest with you its something ive never really thought about, having had both births i prefered natural as the recover time is much quicker and the pain of pushing is nowhere near as bad as the pain of recovering from a section, so far ar as feeling cheated by the type of birth i had is something that has never crossed my mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had my first son breach normally 2nd son popped out no pain killers and in just under an hr so when I fell pregnant with my 3rd I said from finding out at 5 weeks pregnant would be a c section. At 37 weeks was told she had stopped growing and was also breach and because she was so small giving birth naturally could have killed her and seeing as how I had already lost her twin a c section came as welcome relief as all we wanted was a healthy baby . Do I feel cheated , no way I am so grateful that she is alive and healthy. I was lucky tho my recovery time was very short and most of it pain free . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going back to Sassy's original question
" Are more women choosing to have elected cesareans because they don't want to push? Frankly i don't see any benefits from having one unless baby or mothers health requires intervention."
There are 2 main reasons that women elect to have c sections, so I am told by my mid wife friend, The first is that they can choose the exact date the baby will be born (within a few days of the due date) and the second is over the misconception that their pussies will be stretched and will not be tight anymore |
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There is a campaign to make it a right for women to be able to elect to have a c-section on NHS - I believe that even the nct are backing it, for some strange reason.
My first was a c-section. 5 days late and an undiagnosed breech until I was 5cm - I laboured fully but had no pushing sensation, so after trying to push (and not understanding what I was meant to be doing) for more than 2 hours I had a c-section. She was a frank breech (feet to ears) so wasn't really going to come out bum first anyway - like a stoppered bottle. Did I feel cheated at having my gorgeous healthy 7lb 2oz daughter by c-s? Hell, yes! I felt I'd failed as a mum before I'd even started - I was fed the dream of water births on entonox with lovely soft music, not a theatre with gowns after an all night labour. I have to say, though, that my recovery was fab - I was up and walking about (VERY slowly!) that evening on the ward and had no issues at any point and only paracetamol for pain relief after less than a week.
Baby 2 was 8 days late, a 'normal' delivery (I wasn't allowed to choose a c-s in any way!) and I had bad tears internal and external and the stitching up afterwards left me with problems which weren't resolved until I had baby number 3 (7lb 10oz and late) almost 6 years later - who also tore me, but the consultant had arranged that any stitching was to be done by a doctor, rather than a midwife, to try and correct the previous issues (which weren't from scar tissue but from the way I'd been stitched) - cue one not very happy on call doc at something like 4am! I had enquired about a c-s at that point, because of my tears/ scars/ problems.
Baby 4 was late and labour was 2.5hours long. All 5lb 13 of him shot out with 2 pushes with the midwife trying desperately to hold him in with one hand whilst she prepared the delivery trolley with the other  I still needed one stitch, ven though he was a tiny thing
I have 4 healthy babies and am thankful for that. That still didn't stop me AT THE TIME from feeling like a failure at having to have a c-section with our eldest. A definite contributor to my resulting PND.
I don't believe in elective c-sections (I don't count Siren's as elective - it's advisory), esp on our already overstretched and under resourced NHS. I find the idea that their is a campaign for such a choice to be slightly ridiculous - never mind human rights and the right to choose. C-sections have their place and many of us would not be here or have our children without them - but they should not become a choice like a water birth!
*steps off soapbox* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the post Pink.. i knew there was a campaign for women to be given the choice of elective c sections as it was on tv but i can't for the life of me find a story on the BBC website. Least i know i wasn't going mad lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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good point also about post natal depression.. i think looking back i suffered with it too. Could have been various factors contributing but i think the C section would have been one. |
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