Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. "
Sounds to me that she was trying to say goodbye,and allowing you to be intimate with her was one for the road.I don't know all you have gone through,but you are making strides sharing your issues.Just don't get knocked down by any cruel comments.Good luck you are a valued person.
|
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. Sounds to me that she was trying to say goodbye,and allowing you to be intimate with her was one for the road.I don't know all you have gone through,but you are making strides sharing your issues.Just don't get knocked down by any cruel comments.Good luck you are a valued person."
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You got this babe! It sounds like you have been through much worse than this. I can relate to how you are feeling. I have let a man I really cared about back in and regretted it and learned the hard way after months of feeling like shit and letting myself get used. You are worth more than to be picked up and put down xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP. |
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"You got this babe! It sounds like you have been through much worse than this. I can relate to how you are feeling. I have let a man I really cared about back in and regretted it and learned the hard way after months of feeling like shit and letting myself get used. You are worth more than to be picked up and put down xxx"
I'm trying to keep it together I knew this was going to happen when I let her in last week it's what she does. I just wanted her to be honest with me and move on if she wants to but won't give me a yes or no answer. I'm sorry your going through the same also it's not nice as you know babe. Xxx |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
HelpOK I say your very brave so your very strong and if you need any advice or a chat email me your filters are on I can't email you xxx"
Thankyou I will xxx |
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"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP. "
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great advice here,which your meant to hear at this time.Meditate on the good wishes that have been sent you and give your mind a rest from your troubles  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Remember this saying when she wants to get back together again.....
Going back to a ex is like taking a shower and then putting back on the same dirty underwear.... |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000 
Bloody hell I am lucky"
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house... |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house..."
Did you get it back ? |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house..."
what happened? |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?"
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP.
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down "
I can understand that it would feel like an even bigger betrayal in that regard. The fact that she behaved like that, is why I believe she still has a care for you. But you have to put yourself first. This confusion is going to eat you up. It's not about her making a decision about what she wants. You are a valued human being and need to meet someone who won't bring you confusion and possible heartache. You have to be the one to make a decision. Nobody else should have that power to decide what your next step is. |
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. "
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP.
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down
I can understand that it would feel like an even bigger betrayal in that regard. The fact that she behaved like that, is why I believe she still has a care for you. But you have to put yourself first. This confusion is going to eat you up. It's not about her making a decision about what she wants. You are a valued human being and need to meet someone who won't bring you confusion and possible heartache. You have to be the one to make a decision. Nobody else should have that power to decide what your next step is."
 |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
"
you never do sugar coat it  |
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. "
She is the last thing you need mate just another demon |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...what happened?"
We took out a loan for £30.000, to pay off a few bills, then she buggered off with someone else a month or so later. |
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"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP.
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down
I can understand that it would feel like an even bigger betrayal in that regard. The fact that she behaved like that, is why I believe she still has a care for you. But you have to put yourself first. This confusion is going to eat you up. It's not about her making a decision about what she wants. You are a valued human being and need to meet someone who won't bring you confusion and possible heartache. You have to be the one to make a decision. Nobody else should have that power to decide what your next step is."
She told me today she loves me etc but how can that be if she can't be honest at what I'm asking her to tell me. I know I need to just let her go on my terms but it's hard. |
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
"
I think this is what the real truth is with her. |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually. "
What a bitch |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...what happened?
We took out a loan for £30.000, to pay off a few bills, then she buggered off with someone else a month or so later. "
aawww harsh x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP.
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down
I can understand that it would feel like an even bigger betrayal in that regard. The fact that she behaved like that, is why I believe she still has a care for you. But you have to put yourself first. This confusion is going to eat you up. It's not about her making a decision about what she wants. You are a valued human being and need to meet someone who won't bring you confusion and possible heartache. You have to be the one to make a decision. Nobody else should have that power to decide what your next step is.
She told me today she loves me etc but how can that be if she can't be honest at what I'm asking her to tell me. I know I need to just let her go on my terms but it's hard. "
I'll be going to bed soon, but if you need to chat, my inbox is open lovely |
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"I clearly dont know exactly what has transpired between the both of you, but It sounds like she still has a care for you, but you need to remember why you broke up in the first place. If she is giving you mixed signals, it's better to try and move on from that. You are not a dick. Merely someone who still has feelings for his ex. I wish you all the best moving forward OP.
Thank you. I've never told anyone what I told her today and she held me as I let it out. Then hours later just kicked back down
I can understand that it would feel like an even bigger betrayal in that regard. The fact that she behaved like that, is why I believe she still has a care for you. But you have to put yourself first. This confusion is going to eat you up. It's not about her making a decision about what she wants. You are a valued human being and need to meet someone who won't bring you confusion and possible heartache. You have to be the one to make a decision. Nobody else should have that power to decide what your next step is.
She told me today she loves me etc but how can that be if she can't be honest at what I'm asking her to tell me. I know I need to just let her go on my terms but it's hard.
I'll be going to bed soon, but if you need to chat, my inbox is open lovely "
Thank you. Xx |
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
I think this is what the real truth is with her. "
Crocodile tears at the drop of a hat and all the “I love yous“ under the sun mean sweet fuck all. She’ll be saying the same to him and crying with him when it suits her.
You don’t need that shit in your life - your OP strikes a chord with me. I’ve had it myself as I’ve said - a mate of mine served in Iraq and Afghanistan... has unresolved issues... and I’ve seen him go through similar with his ex, on top of that, and how it affected him.
Dash her out of your life, focus on your own well being and mental health. |
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or View forums list | |
"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch "
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left. |
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
I think this is what the real truth is with her.
Crocodile tears at the drop of a hat and all the “I love yous“ under the sun mean sweet fuck all. She’ll be saying the same to him and crying with him when it suits her.
You don’t need that shit in your life - your OP strikes a chord with me. I’ve had it myself as I’ve said - a mate of mine served in Iraq and Afghanistan... has unresolved issues... and I’ve seen him go through similar with his ex, on top of that, and how it affected him.
Dash her out of your life, focus on your own well being and mental health. "
Thanks mate your advice knocks it on the head |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left. "
I hope you have moved on from that now. |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left.
I hope you have moved on from that now. "
It still grates on my mind  |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left.
I hope you have moved on from that now.
It still grates on my mind "
I bet it does, how long ago was it |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left.
I hope you have moved on from that now.
It still grates on my mind
I bet it does, how long ago was it "
2005, and I now live in a SAHA flat. |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...
Did you get it back ?
No, the best part is that was the only inheritance that I had, she still had her parents and grandparents alive so was due some money off them eventually.
What a bitch
Exactly, I was going to buy a house at auction and do it up, but I couldn't afford to do it with the amount of money that I had left.
I hope you have moved on from that now.
It still grates on my mind
I bet it does, how long ago was it
2005, and I now live in a SAHA flat."
What's a SAHA flat bud |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...what happened?
We took out a loan for £30.000, to pay off a few bills, then she buggered off with someone else a month or so later. "
Did you take out the loan jointly?
If so you could pursue her for her share in the county court (depending on how long ago it was). You’ll have to pay solicitors fees and expenses (not that much).
Even if she doesn’t have the money to pay, if you get a CCJ against her it’ll banjax her credit rating, she’ll be living hand to mouth and shopping at brighthouse for the next 6 years.
Worth considering! |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...what happened?
We took out a loan for £30.000, to pay off a few bills, then she buggered off with someone else a month or so later.
Did you take out the loan jointly?
If so you could pursue her for her share in the county court (depending on how long ago it was). You’ll have to pay solicitors fees and expenses (not that much).
Even if she doesn’t have the money to pay, if you get a CCJ against her it’ll banjax her credit rating and she’ll be living hand to mouth with no credit and shopping at brighthouse for the next 6 years.
Worth considering! "
Yes, we took out the loan jointly cos the bungalow was built by my Dad and in my name, she was working and had a far more disposable income at the time, hence why we got the loan. |
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"So you asking for help or just telling us?
Help
You're lucky, one of my ex's took me for £80,000
Bloody hell I am lucky
Yeah, I didn't see that one coming. We had been together for about 9 years and like a fool I let her put her name on the deeds to my house...what happened?
We took out a loan for £30.000, to pay off a few bills, then she buggered off with someone else a month or so later.
Did you take out the loan jointly?
If so you could pursue her for her share in the county court (depending on how long ago it was). You’ll have to pay solicitors fees and expenses (not that much).
Even if she doesn’t have the money to pay, if you get a CCJ against her it’ll banjax her credit rating and she’ll be living hand to mouth with no credit and shopping at brighthouse for the next 6 years.
Worth considering!
Yes, we took out the loan jointly cos the bungalow was built by my Dad and in my name, she was working and had a far more disposable income at the time, hence why we got the loan. "
How long ago? Within the last 6 years?
Does she have the money to pay? If so you could pursue her for her share of the debt, interest etc.
Even if she doesn’t have the cash, see my advice above.
Speak to a solicitor or maybe citizens advice for an initial view on the merits of the case... |
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"What's a SAHA flat bud
Salvation Army Housing Association "
It was only supposed to be a temporary move, but I have been here for over 5 years now and met more ladies than I have ever done at any other address  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
"
Totally agree. I’ve done that with ex’s. Taken them back or met up and they just want to use you for sex. Knowing that they just want to see if they still can get what they want. Heartless people generally are like that. Block her and forget her. You will be a lot happier when you get over her. Look after yourself. Gem |
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Yeah, its very typical of girls.
As soon as they have a new man, other options they pop back up to let you know they have them.
I doubt she intended for you to open up about past, you can't blame her for that. But for sure she was just letting you know she moved on and hoping you hadnt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am reading this slightly different. To what I can see is she met up with you as friends. You don't mention sex you mention chit chat? She says she loves you but love comes in different forms. She didn't hide the fact she was dating. I can't see what she's done wrong? I'm friends with most of my exes so maybe that's the difference. It sounds like she wanted to be a friend and support you but that you wanted more from it or am I reading this completely wrong, should I be hunting her with a pitch fork like all the others?
Maybe lean on her friendship if it helped talking about your demons? I also suggest that it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it too. |
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"I am reading this slightly different. To what I can see is she met up with you as friends. You don't mention sex you mention chit chat? She says she loves you but love comes in different forms. She didn't hide the fact she was dating. I can't see what she's done wrong? I'm friends with most of my exes so maybe that's the difference. It sounds like she wanted to be a friend and support you but that you wanted more from it or am I reading this completely wrong, should I be hunting her with a pitch fork like all the others?
Maybe lean on her friendship if it helped talking about your demons? I also suggest that it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it too. "
I read it the same as well but see also a level of bitterness and the bitch title dosn't help. You either want a friend or not but you have to accept she is moving on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She told me today she loves me etc but how can that be if she can't be honest at what I'm asking her to tell me. I know I need to just let her go on my terms but it's hard. "
You are asking her to tell you if it is over or not. You need to let that idea go. She is not going to tell you. She wants to leave that door open just in case it is convenient to have you back in her life at some point in future. Move on, she has. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe ask for some professional help rather than folk on a sex site?
If your still trying to over come demons
Leave it to folk that know what they are doing?
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
I think this is what the real truth is with her.
Crocodile tears at the drop of a hat and all the “I love yous“ under the sun mean sweet fuck all. She’ll be saying the same to him and crying with him when it suits her.
You don’t need that shit in your life - your OP strikes a chord with me. I’ve had it myself as I’ve said - a mate of mine served in Iraq and Afghanistan... has unresolved issues... and I’ve seen him go through similar with his ex, on top of that, and how it affected him.
Dash her out of your life, focus on your own well being and mental health. "
Not often I agree with you but however harsh it sounds you’re probably right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well. "
Time heals everything matey. I never thought I’d ever come to terms with my marriage ending, I didn’t want to come to terms with it and I felt guilty when I finally did. It’s easier if you don’t see them or communicate with them. My ex wife used me as a crutch every time she finished with another guy and it got my hopes up every time but then she’s start seeing another guy and I’d get dropped like a hot brick again. You will feel better, the first couple of months are the hardest but get those out of the way and each day will get better. Chin up fella. Think of it like this, there are 3.5 billion women in the world, don’t get hung up on just one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am reading this slightly different. To what I can see is she met up with you as friends. You don't mention sex you mention chit chat? She says she loves you but love comes in different forms. She didn't hide the fact she was dating. I can't see what she's done wrong? I'm friends with most of my exes so maybe that's the difference. It sounds like she wanted to be a friend and support you but that you wanted more from it or am I reading this completely wrong, should I be hunting her with a pitch fork like all the others?
Maybe lean on her friendship if it helped talking about your demons? I also suggest that it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it too. "
I read it the same also. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
"
Sorry but I disagree with this totally. Just because of your past experience, it doesn’t mean it’s the same thing happening here. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
Its early days still then if you only broke up at the beginning of October. It sounds like it was you that went to her the first time, be strong ~ don't do it again.
Turn to your family or friends or even helpline etc if you need to talk.
Sounds like she's finding it easier to move on than you are. Good luck to you OP |
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"I am reading this slightly different. To what I can see is she met up with you as friends. You don't mention sex you mention chit chat? She says she loves you but love comes in different forms. She didn't hide the fact she was dating. I can't see what she's done wrong? I'm friends with most of my exes so maybe that's the difference. It sounds like she wanted to be a friend and support you but that you wanted more from it or am I reading this completely wrong, should I be hunting her with a pitch fork like all the others?
Maybe lean on her friendship if it helped talking about your demons? I also suggest that it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it too.
I read it the same also."
If a bloke came on here and said he’d broken up with his ex (who he knew was mentally fragile due to trauma issues), met someone new, then went back to the ex, slept with them, told them he still loved them then dumped them for the new relationship anyway, you’d be saying he was an emotionally abusive cunt-flap.
And you’d be right. |
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"She told me today she loves me etc but how can that be if she can't be honest at what I'm asking her to tell me. I know I need to just let her go on my terms but it's hard.
You are asking her to tell you if it is over or not. You need to let that idea go. She is not going to tell you. She wants to leave that door open just in case it is convenient to have you back in her life at some point in future. Move on, she has."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am I the only one that sees this different ? They split up in October and she rings out of the blue to basically say she’s got a new bloke ?
I may be reading this wrong, but it seems she’s rubbing his nose in it |
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"I am reading this slightly different. To what I can see is she met up with you as friends. You don't mention sex you mention chit chat? She says she loves you but love comes in different forms. She didn't hide the fact she was dating. I can't see what she's done wrong? I'm friends with most of my exes so maybe that's the difference. It sounds like she wanted to be a friend and support you but that you wanted more from it or am I reading this completely wrong, should I be hunting her with a pitch fork like all the others?
Maybe lean on her friendship if it helped talking about your demons? I also suggest that it would be helpful to talk to a professional about it too.
I read it the same also."
I also read it this way, and that perhaps she does actually respect him enough that she wanted him to hear about her dating from her own mouth rather than rumour.
You can love someone, but not be in love with them. |
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Just to clarify a few things from your replies which are great and really appreciate.
We split and cut contact which I stuck to hard as it was. I was getting through it and doing well then bang out the blue msg.
There was general chit chat and I asked what you want from me and she said nothing.
I asked what been up to etc and told me had a date planned the Monday coming and could I come see her that morning before to chat which I did. It ended in sex which she initiated not me.
She went on the date then I met her again Wednesday just to chat nout happened and I told her a few things from Iraq that she knew a little about but I went into depth as was feeling at ease with her.
I sobbed in her arms and said she was meeting this guy for coffee in the morning but wasn't like us just wanted a Bit of normality and I got that.
I left went to work we was texting and she went quite for 2 hours and was on the phone with him. I said to her about it being a relationship starting to form and just said it's early days who knows I like his company etc.
Earlier that day I said I would walk to let her be happy again with the new guy but said no it's not like that basically but it must be to spend 2 hours chatting on the phone.
I've spoke since with her and still won't say to me a yes or no to stay just keeps skirting the question. |
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"Oh sorry forgot she said when I said about spending 2 hours on the phone her reply was all relationships start like that in the beginning. "
Sounds to me like she's just getting to know someone. She hasn't lied to you. Maybe she wants to be in your life but it sounds like you're pressuring her.
She could be playing a game, but to me the fact she's seen you breaking tells me she wants to be there as a support for you, but probably nothing more. |
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"Just to clarify a few things from your replies which are great and really appreciate.
We split and cut contact which I stuck to hard as it was. I was getting through it and doing well then bang out the blue msg.
There was general chit chat and I asked what you want from me and she said nothing.
I asked what been up to etc and told me had a date planned the Monday coming and could I come see her that morning before to chat which I did. It ended in sex which she initiated not me.
She went on the date then I met her again Wednesday just to chat nout happened and I told her a few things from Iraq that she knew a little about but I went into depth as was feeling at ease with her.
I sobbed in her arms and said she was meeting this guy for coffee in the morning but wasn't like us just wanted a Bit of normality and I got that.
I left went to work we was texting and she went quite for 2 hours and was on the phone with him. I said to her about it being a relationship starting to form and just said it's early days who knows I like his company etc.
Earlier that day I said I would walk to let her be happy again with the new guy but said no it's not like that basically but it must be to spend 2 hours chatting on the phone.
I've spoke since with her and still won't say to me a yes or no to stay just keeps skirting the question. "
For your own sake cut contact. If she contacts you again respond once explaining that you're unable to be friends with her at the moment then block all her numbers. I know she's initiating contact but you don't have to respond.
I have no idea what her motives are but I could put forward two possibilities. The first is that she's afraid for you and is keeping in touch to help you. The second is that she's manipulative and keeping you on a string. Either way its not doing you any favours staying in touch with her and you need to walk away. |
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A third possibility is that given the title of your thread and the way you seem to be questioning her is that she's concerned about your attitude towards her and is hoping to keep you sweet.
For both your sakes walk away. |
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"Just to clarify a few things from your replies which are great and really appreciate.
We split and cut contact which I stuck to hard as it was. I was getting through it and doing well then bang out the blue msg.
There was general chit chat and I asked what you want from me and she said nothing.
I asked what been up to etc and told me had a date planned the Monday coming and could I come see her that morning before to chat which I did. It ended in sex which she initiated not me.
She went on the date then I met her again Wednesday just to chat nout happened and I told her a few things from Iraq that she knew a little about but I went into depth as was feeling at ease with her.
I sobbed in her arms and said she was meeting this guy for coffee in the morning but wasn't like us just wanted a Bit of normality and I got that.
I left went to work we was texting and she went quite for 2 hours and was on the phone with him. I said to her about it being a relationship starting to form and just said it's early days who knows I like his company etc.
Earlier that day I said I would walk to let her be happy again with the new guy but said no it's not like that basically but it must be to spend 2 hours chatting on the phone.
I've spoke since with her and still won't say to me a yes or no to stay just keeps skirting the question. "
She’s stringing you both along, trying to have her cake and eat it, and keeping you at arm’s length incase it goes tits up with the new guy. Standard behaviour for an insecure individual who probably can’t bear the thought of being alone...
I wonder if she’s told him about you!!!
Best thing you can do is take the power back, cut off all contact with her and move on mate, she will bleed you dry otherwise.
Be prepared for her to get back in contact in a few weeks/months - stay strong and ignore her when she does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't know why I let her my ex back in last week. We parted start of October said I would not contact her or see her again and she said fine. Then Wednesday she texts me out the blue new number. General chit chat for few days I go see her Monday there 1 thing lead to another. Then she tells me going on a date that night etc nothing in it just wants some sort of normality etc. Today we see each other I opened my heart to her about demons from Iraq I have we cry etc. Then I find out she is starting a relationship with this guy after I asked her that I would walk away and let her be happy but told me no it's not like that. Feel such a Dick I was doing so well.
I won’t sugar coat it.
She sounds like a proper cunt. Disregard all the “she’s trying to say goodbye” bullshit you’ll read on here.
Typical manipulative/narcissistic behaviour. Contacting you, pulling your chain to boost her own ego and then dropping you when it suits her. I’ve been through that washing machine myself, trust me I know.
Delete, block and move on.
She’ll get hers...
"
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"Thanks guys
So how do you see your way forward?"
I know I have to cut her off and go let her make it with this new guy for my own sake etc.
I used to be really strong I was a Special Forces Soldier at one point in my career I have to fall back on that ethos and dig deep and keep moving forward no matter the odds against you. |
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"Thanks guys
So how do you see your way forward?
I know I have to cut her off and go let her make it with this new guy for my own sake etc.
I used to be really strong I was a Special Forces Soldier at one point in my career I have to fall back on that ethos and dig deep and keep moving forward no matter the odds against you. "
Its not a case of letting her make it with the new guy, that's going to happen or not rgardless of what you do. I know that sounds harsh but giving you false hope isn't helpful. |
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"Yes true she said was early days with him didn't know what was going to happen. which is why I asked her if wanted me to step away. But won't answer me on that. "
What you do next is not her decision to make. That is entirely down to you. How you move forward is in your hands. |
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"Yes true she said was early days with him didn't know what was going to happen. which is why I asked her if wanted me to step away. But won't answer me on that. "
You need to stop asking her mate - not up to her and it’s only giving her the power.
If she really cared for you she would have stepped away long ago for your sake and wouldn’t be putting you through this.
It sounds like you know what to need to do. |
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