FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Not suited for here part 2.
Not suited for here part 2.
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"There are genuinely high quality men on here, I have met several of them, and I think many women would leave if they did not also think that was the case - rare finds though they may be amongst all the randy chancers." My main asset in finding a partner is my personality. Integral parts of that is the fact I'm a singer songwriter, artist, who's well educated and well travelled, with a successful career behind me, having lived in California for 5 years. These things aren't extraneous to me. They're a core part of who I am and who I'm likely to gel with. But if I added such details to my profile most people would roll their eyes and think I was trying to impress or something. Why? Because this site is just about trying to get in women's knickers and that's how most women see the men on here. I rest my case
"And it is really sour grapes to condemn women for being more attracted to men with good masculine physiques, whether they were obtained in the gym or just naturally blessed. Yes, we are spoiled for choice on fab, but that does NOT mean we want nothing deeper, on the contrary, most of us still hope for both." Haha So you're not just superficially looking for a gym bod. You're looking for a gym bod who's a great guy too  I rest my case once again
"And in my case (and many others I suspect) as I told you privately, it primarily takes a certain kind of focus anyway, and to my mind that's what your approach lacked here, you were too scattered." How I am on the forums is very different from how I am in pm. The forums are just a flirt fest. Just because I'm tarting around on here, don't assume I'm not quite focused in my connections with one or two women away from here. I don't think it favours anyone if you chase one woman/man around the forums. I prefer to keep it away from here. In that sense, my "scatter approach" is a deliberate act to disguise who I'm actually flirting with privately on here and who I'm not. I know my views may sound like sour grapes or I'm bitter. I'm honestly not. I'm just disillusioned with Fab. The bubble has burst and I can see exactly what it is and why it doesn't work for me and lots of others. I hold no grudge against the Fab community for "not getting my fair share" or any of that stupidity you see off some people on here. I'm just totally over the format. To me, there's a silver lining to that. If you try something and it doesn't work try again, and maybe again if you're really horny haha But if it still doesn't work the positive thing to do is move on  
I'm only here now for you guys... and to see what happens with the gym guy Apologies if this all sounds a downer. I'll try and keep my remaining posts positive if possible On the plus side... if I end up dating my dream sexy kinky soulful woman I may lure her back for a couples account. Why? Because Fab is an excellent swingers site for couples. So a big thumbs up to all you swinging couples. You're on the right site | |||
"In that case I get to reply to Frisky
There are genuinely high quality men on here, I have met several of them, and I think many women would leave if they did not also think that was the case - rare finds though they may be amongst all the randy chancers.
My main asset in finding a partner is my personality. Integral parts of that is the fact I'm a singer songwriter, artist, who's well educated and well travelled, with a successful career behind me, having lived in California for 5 years. These things aren't extraneous to me. They're a core part of who I am and who I'm likely to gel with. But if I added such details to my profile most people would roll their eyes and think I was trying to impress or something. Why? Because this site is just about trying to get in women's knickers and that's how most women see the men on here. I rest my case
And it is really sour grapes to condemn women for being more attracted to men with good masculine physiques, whether they were obtained in the gym or just naturally blessed. Yes, we are spoiled for choice on fab, but that does NOT mean we want nothing deeper, on the contrary, most of us still hope for both.
Haha So you're not just superficially looking for a gym bod. You're looking for a gym bod who's a great guy too I rest my case once again
And in my case (and many others I suspect) as I told you privately, it primarily takes a certain kind of focus anyway, and to my mind that's what your approach lacked here, you were too scattered.
How I am on the forums is very different from how I am in pm. The forums are just a flirt fest. Just because I'm tarting around on here, don't assume I'm not quite focused in my connections with one or two women away from here. I don't think it favours anyone if you chase one woman/man around the forums. I prefer to keep it away from here. In that sense, my "scatter approach" is a deliberate act to disguise who I'm actually flirting with privately on here and who I'm not.
I know my views may sound like sour grapes or I'm bitter. I'm honestly not. I'm just disillusioned with Fab. The bubble has burst and I can see exactly what it is and why it doesn't work for me and lots of others. I hold no grudge against the Fab community for "not getting my fair share" or any of that stupidity you see off some people on here. I'm just totally over the format. To me, there's a silver lining to that. If you try something and it doesn't work try again, and maybe again if you're really horny haha But if it still doesn't work the positive thing to do is move on
I'm only here now for you guys... and to see what happens with the gym guy Apologies if this all sounds a downer. I'll try and keep my remaining posts positive if possible On the plus side... if I end up dating my dream sexy kinky soulful woman I may lure her back for a couples account. Why? Because Fab is an excellent swingers site for couples. So a big thumbs up to all you swinging couples. You're on the right site "Soulful by name and nature. Keep the chins up | |||
"In that case I get to reply to Frisky
There are genuinely high quality men on here, I have met several of them, and I think many women would leave if they did not also think that was the case - rare finds though they may be amongst all the randy chancers.
My main asset in finding a partner is my personality. Integral parts of that is the fact I'm a singer songwriter, artist, who's well educated and well travelled, with a successful career behind me, having lived in California for 5 years. These things aren't extraneous to me. They're a core part of who I am and who I'm likely to gel with. But if I added such details to my profile most people would roll their eyes and think I was trying to impress or something. Why? Because this site is just about trying to get in women's knickers and that's how most women see the men on here. I rest my case
And it is really sour grapes to condemn women for being more attracted to men with good masculine physiques, whether they were obtained in the gym or just naturally blessed. Yes, we are spoiled for choice on fab, but that does NOT mean we want nothing deeper, on the contrary, most of us still hope for both.
Haha So you're not just superficially looking for a gym bod. You're looking for a gym bod who's a great guy too I rest my case once again
And in my case (and many others I suspect) as I told you privately, it primarily takes a certain kind of focus anyway, and to my mind that's what your approach lacked here, you were too scattered.
How I am on the forums is very different from how I am in pm. The forums are just a flirt fest. Just because I'm tarting around on here, don't assume I'm not quite focused in my connections with one or two women away from here. I don't think it favours anyone if you chase one woman/man around the forums. I prefer to keep it away from here. In that sense, my "scatter approach" is a deliberate act to disguise who I'm actually flirting with privately on here and who I'm not.
I know my views may sound like sour grapes or I'm bitter. I'm honestly not. I'm just disillusioned with Fab. The bubble has burst and I can see exactly what it is and why it doesn't work for me and lots of others. I hold no grudge against the Fab community for "not getting my fair share" or any of that stupidity you see off some people on here. I'm just totally over the format. To me, there's a silver lining to that. If you try something and it doesn't work try again, and maybe again if you're really horny haha But if it still doesn't work the positive thing to do is move on
I'm only here now for you guys... and to see what happens with the gym guy Apologies if this all sounds a downer. I'll try and keep my remaining posts positive if possible On the plus side... if I end up dating my dream sexy kinky soulful woman I may lure her back for a couples account. Why? Because Fab is an excellent swingers site for couples. So a big thumbs up to all you swinging couples. You're on the right site "Don’t be such a quitter!! Ha. I’m just like you and want similar things, I’m a very patient person and some lovely people have come my way. Still ongoing so we shall see. It can happen but it can happen anywhere. I know what I want and I won’t compromise on that here. I’ve said no to many gorgeous guys but we weren’t compatible. | |||
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"Don’t be such a quitter!! Ha. I’m just like you and want similar things, I’m a very patient person and some lovely people have come my way. Still ongoing so we shall see. It can happen but it can happen anywhere. I know what I want and I won’t compromise on that here. " I think this site may work better for women. I'm only commenting on me specifically. As a relatively good looking guy with personality and no desire to fuck around with strangers I'm much better with a format that leads with the face pic, info about my life and dreams, and with no stigma that I'm just looking for a fuck. If I wasn't those things, as a bloke, this format might work better for me. Instead, I'm lost behind several hundred messages from other guys. Why? Because the woman is looking for no questions asked sex (you might think you're not but that's the context of being on here). On dating sites women tend to be looking for relationships. Waft that under the nose of the guys on here and most would run for the hills. Thereby culling the herd quite wonderfully and helping me shine through | |||
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"Don’t be such a quitter!! Ha. I’m just like you and want similar things, I’m a very patient person and some lovely people have come my way. Still ongoing so we shall see. It can happen but it can happen anywhere. I know what I want and I won’t compromise on that here. I think this site may work better for women. I'm only commenting on me specifically. As a relatively good looking guy with personality and no desire to fuck around with strangers I'm much better with a format that leads with the face pic, info about my life and dreams, and with no stigma that I'm just looking for a fuck. If I wasn't those things, as a bloke, this format might work better for me. Instead, I'm lost behind several hundred messages from other guys. Why? Because the woman is looking for no questions asked sex (you might think you're not but that's the context of being on here). On dating sites women tend to be looking for relationships. Waft that under the nose of the guys on here and most would run for the hills. Thereby culling the herd quite wonderfully and helping me shine through "That’s why I tip toe between here and dating sites. Stay for the forums and hide your profile at least. | |||
"Instead, I'm lost behind several hundred messages from other guys. Why?" Because you've not found the "one" you're wanting to find. You're not lost behind several hundred messages, you are incredibly disparaging though. "Because the woman is looking for no questions asked sex (you might think you're not but that's the context of being on here). " We're so lucky you're here to tell us what we are actually looking for. I was so lost and confused trying to work out what I wanted from here. "On dating sites women tend to be looking for relationships. Waft that under the nose of the guys on here and most would run for the hills. Thereby culling the herd quite wonderfully and helping me shine through "So surprisingly you'll do better on a dating site where you're looking for a relationship and everything is actively geared into finding it? Mind fucking blown with that revelation. | |||
" I think this site may work better for women. I'm only commenting on me specifically. As a relatively good looking guy with personality and no desire to fuck around with strangers I'm much better with a format that leads with the face pic, info about my life and dreams, and with no stigma that I'm just looking for a fuck. If I wasn't those things, as a bloke, this format might work better for me. Instead, I'm lost behind several hundred messages from other guys. Why? Because the woman is looking for no questions asked sex (you might think you're not but that's the context of being on here). On dating sites women tend to be looking for relationships. Waft that under the nose of the guys on here and most would run for the hills. Thereby culling the herd quite wonderfully and helping me shine through "So my ‘take aways’ from this is that you’re not looking for NSA casual sex, you’re looking more for a meaningful relationship with someone that ‘gets’ you and your personality. So my question is this : what are you looking for that on what is for all intents and purposes a casual sex site? If the ladies on dating sites fit that criteria better, why expend energy here when you could focus your energies there? Fab works for me, and you’re right, if anyone wafted a relationship under my nose from here I would most definitely head to the hills! If I wanted that I’d be on a dating site. I want NSA but only with people I like and get on with. Hence I’m registered on a site that can hopefully facilitate that. | |||
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"That’s why I tip toe between here and dating sites. Stay for the forums and hide your profile at least. " I think I'm probably best off focusing my efforts. But I *may* do a seeside and report back every now and then about how it's going. Especially if I find love! I'll be on here the next day looking to cheat haha | |||
"So my ‘take aways’ from this is that you’re not looking for NSA casual sex, you’re looking more for a meaningful relationship with someone that ‘gets’ you and your personality. So my question is this : what are you looking for that on what is for all intents and purposes a casual sex site? If the ladies on dating sites fit that criteria better, why expend energy here when you could focus your energies there?" Hi Dan When I came on here I was looking for fun. In the 8 months I've been on here I've had about the same amount of interest as I had in 2 weeks on a dating app that went so mad I had to shut it down. So clearly I'm going to have much more fun on the dating apps. I've just gotta take a deep breath and instead of pushing on women's doors let them push on mine so that I can be more selective. It's totally topsy turvy out there in relationship land.
But also, to a degree, my fun clock has timed out now  Haha not really. But I'm more ready to apply myself to finding my soul mate. So more fun plus seeking soul mate adds up to win win for me | |||
"Instead, I'm lost behind several hundred messages from other guys. Why? Because you've not found the "one" you're wanting to find. You're not lost behind several hundred messages, you are incredibly disparaging though." Some women have hundreds of unread messages. Some don't. Some of my messages lay unread. Some read and deleted. I've probably messaged about 40 people in my 8 months on here and got about 2 replies. That's just a fact. That's not me being disparaging. But it's clearly the wrong way to go about everything for me. I guess that's disparaging. But I can't help but be disparaging about something I no longer believe holds any merit to me. I've been pretty clear that it probably works well for others though. So at least I'm upbeat about that
"Because the woman is looking for no questions asked sex (you might think you're not but that's the context of being on here). We're so lucky you're here to tell us what we are actually looking for. I was so lost and confused trying to work out what I wanted from here." You misunderstood. I wasn't saying that's the real reason you're on here. I was saying that's the context of joining a swinging nsa sex site. So that's what guys will be either assuming or hoping. Hence why so many are on here trying their luck with crude messages. They'd know different if they read women's profiles. But even then it's not always clear... and they don't often read them. That's all I was saying. Sorry if I pissed you off xx | |||
"That’s why I tip toe between here and dating sites. Stay for the forums and hide your profile at least. I think I'm probably best off focusing my efforts. But I *may* do a seeside and report back every now and then about how it's going. Especially if I find love! I'll be on here the next day looking to cheat haha "For the love of god no!  | |||
"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx" If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. | |||
"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. " Interesting what you say, my ex- I met her in the street, she was not in any way into swinging and never ever considered it, but when we chatted about her past partner's it turned out she's had over 200, I've known women on here who have been on here as long as I have and even they've not managed anywhere near that amount. We all have pasts, its sad that some choose to judge so harshly because of them, Double standards or fragile egos maybe? I had always imagined that a guy would give his right arm to have a girlfriend and still stay on here. I guess it must be an insecurity thing, shame really isn't it? | |||
"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. Interesting what you say, my ex- I met her in the street, she was not in any way into swinging and never ever considered it, but when we chatted about her past partner's it turned out she's had over 200, I've known women on here who have been on here as long as I have and even they've not managed anywhere near that amount. We all have pasts, its sad that some choose to judge so harshly because of them, Double standards or fragile egos maybe? I had always imagined that a guy would give his right arm to have a girlfriend and still stay on here. I guess it must be an insecurity thing, shame really isn't it?" That’s always been my argument, like in your situation, a guy could meet a girl at bible class and she could have slept with 300 men, vs me who has slept with less than 20 my whole life. Yet girl in the real world is date worthy and I’m not. | |||
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"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. Interesting what you say, my ex- I met her in the street, she was not in any way into swinging and never ever considered it, but when we chatted about her past partner's it turned out she's had over 200, I've known women on here who have been on here as long as I have and even they've not managed anywhere near that amount. We all have pasts, its sad that some choose to judge so harshly because of them, Double standards or fragile egos maybe? I had always imagined that a guy would give his right arm to have a girlfriend and still stay on here. I guess it must be an insecurity thing, shame really isn't it? That’s always been my argument, like in your situation, a guy could meet a girl at bible class and she could have slept with 300 men, vs me who has slept with less than 20 my whole life. Yet girl in the real world is date worthy and I’m not. " At the risk of sound cheesey, we on here would go as far as to say that maybe it is them who are not worthy of you. | |||
Hugs and kisses. | |||
"Calm down Meli "Not annoyed or particularly irate - the site doesn't really ever rile me so no need to calm down.  You are disparaging when you go on about the quality men/women and how you perceive women to view men and find their time on here (as meat, disposable, only attracted to "gym bods"). For some people the site doesn't work -clearly. I don't think you should allow that to make you come across as bitter (at times!)I'm a firm believer of when something is no longer enjoyable you should find something better suited to you and you are which is great.
I'm sorry it hasn't for you btw.
Also, sorry Op (forgotten your current username!) for tangenting a bit! | |||
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"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something? "She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed! | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed! "Sounds like she is suited for here then. | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed! "It’s nothing to do with attention. I don’t need forum attention. I could open my profile up and allow messages and get attention from thousands, yes thousands of men that want to have sex with me. Attention means fuck all if you’re not getting it from the one person you want it from and that’s the guy in the real world and the reason why I’m hanging on to tell the people who want to know what happens with that. I hate all this attention seeking bullshit claims. | |||
"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. Interesting what you say, my ex- I met her in the street, she was not in any way into swinging and never ever considered it, but when we chatted about her past partner's it turned out she's had over 200, I've known women on here who have been on here as long as I have and even they've not managed anywhere near that amount. We all have pasts, its sad that some choose to judge so harshly because of them, Double standards or fragile egos maybe? I had always imagined that a guy would give his right arm to have a girlfriend and still stay on here. I guess it must be an insecurity thing, shame really isn't it?" I’ve met a couple that would want a relationship with someone off here, there are guys that don’t think with just their penis. | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed!
It’s nothing to do with attention. I don’t need forum attention. I could open my profile up and allow messages and get attention from thousands, yes thousands of men that want to have sex with me.
Attention means fuck all if you’re not getting it from the one person you want it from and that’s the guy in the real world and the reason why I’m hanging on to tell the people who want to know what happens with that.
I hate all this attention seeking bullshit claims. "I don't mean that kind - you like holding court and having a thread about you and having people come and chat about your life and loves. You're allowed that, perfectly healthy people enjoy being in the li_elight sometimes, is not as if you're putting up multiple threads every day like some people need to!! | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed!
It’s nothing to do with attention. I don’t need forum attention. I could open my profile up and allow messages and get attention from thousands, yes thousands of men that want to have sex with me.
Attention means fuck all if you’re not getting it from the one person you want it from and that’s the guy in the real world and the reason why I’m hanging on to tell the people who want to know what happens with that.
I hate all this attention seeking bullshit claims. "You've literally made a thread before called pay attention to me.... | |||
"Oh Annie... you've made me laugh.... please don't leave... I've never seen a I'm leaving thread going into I'm leaving part two xxx If men weren’t so draconian in their views I wouldn’t have to leave. I can accept that a guy has been on here with his dick out and that wouldn’t put me off ever having a relationship with him. But men, or at least every man I’ve ever met or spoken to won’t consider a relationship with a woman that’s been on this site. Like I said, a few of you have given me lots of advice with a real life situation, I’ll stay to let those people know what happens with it in a months time, but then I have to make a serious effort in finding a long term partner and I’m not gonna find him when I’m on here. " I lived for four years very happily with a woman I met from fab...and I would love to live with someone from fab again... good luck with whatever you choose to do Annie XXX olov | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed!
It’s nothing to do with attention. I don’t need forum attention. I could open my profile up and allow messages and get attention from thousands, yes thousands of men that want to have sex with me.
Attention means fuck all if you’re not getting it from the one person you want it from and that’s the guy in the real world and the reason why I’m hanging on to tell the people who want to know what happens with that.
I hate all this attention seeking bullshit claims.
You've literally made a thread before called pay attention to me...."Have I, strange how there are no threads with that title. If I wanted attention I would ask for it, I’m hardly shy or timid. This is one thing I won’t miss, all the negativity and bollocks and sly digs and shit. | |||
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"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something?
She likes talking about it, and she likes the attention. Both are allowed!
It’s nothing to do with attention. I don’t need forum attention. I could open my profile up and allow messages and get attention from thousands, yes thousands of men that want to have sex with me.
Attention means fuck all if you’re not getting it from the one person you want it from and that’s the guy in the real world and the reason why I’m hanging on to tell the people who want to know what happens with that.
I hate all this attention seeking bullshit claims.
You've literally made a thread before called pay attention to me....
Have I, strange how there are no threads with that title. If I wanted attention I would ask for it, I’m hardly shy or timid.
This is one thing I won’t miss, all the negativity and bollocks and sly digs and shit. "Ffs I wasn't making a sly dig I was defending your right to put up a thread to discuss your decision to leave lol! | |||
"What's this thread about again? "It's been hijacked a bit lol!  | |||
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"What's with all these super long replies. Chill out people" To be honest I'm not really enjoying it either. I guess I said some stuff which I think is true and I'm just being grilled on it and now kind of being told I'm a horrible person... or it could be construed that way. I'm just disillusioned with the format. I don't hold any negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. But I do think the ones who aren't should really move on. But now I feel like I'm under attack | |||
"Sorry Annie but I've got to respond to some of Frisky's criticism It's nice to know that you look for some common ground outside sex with guys Frisky. And it's heartening to see you've got some info on your profile about what you're into outside sex too. It's a refreshing change from the usual list of sexual do's and dont's that is all most women's profiles contain. The women around me are just looking for cock in the main. As for the superficiality of people of both genders on Fab. Of course. It's a sex site. I personally don't find the gym bod sexy. So I'm not hankering after it. Outside that I'm actually relatively in shape and slim. So I'm a lot more fortunate than some guys. But let's face it, like one of Annie's threads the other day, even George Clooney or Bill Gates would get brushed off in here if some guy with chiselled pecks and the right dimensioned cock stepped in. Maybe not for you Frisky. But lots of women on here admit to being bewildered by the choice and are easily lured onto the next guy by the most superficial things. Fab is the great leveller. It gives male models equal or perhaps even better billing over millionaires and interesting characters. The women on here think they overcome that through the forums and through messaging. And to some extent that's true. But why do I have to exert twice the effort of some wally with pecks just to try and catch up with him when he's just a wally with pecks. I know the above may sound disdainful so I'll clarify. I'm not suggesting all the other guys on here, nor even the successful ones, are male model wallies with pecks. I'm saying that the format of Fab puts me at a disadvantage to a male model wally with pecks. The format is also a PUA players paradise and (contrary to popular impressions) that's not me. It's a dream to them because it allows 100% insincerity right up to the point of meeting. Real life just isn't that forgiving. I've always said women should meet early to test if a guy is real and check out the chemistry. But most women insist on the flattery of being chased even before the guy has ever met them. That's where the player excels and I can't be arsed. Apparently this works for women though. So go figure. As for your last few comments I appreciate your honesty Frisky. We've chatted privately but I've never pursued you. I'd happily have a brew with you. But that's just me being social and friendly. If we met and I liked you then I'd pursue you. But before then I'd only be pursuing my imagining of you. So no. You don't have insight into how I am when I engage with a woman on Fab. I think I'm going to have to respond to your depiction of me as some kind of awful narcissistic player in another reply. I sympathise that you probably don't think I'm that anymore (at least I'd bloomin well hope not) but you could've made that clearer. " I was just saying that's how you came across at first. I don't know what is the truth of you, we have not talked enough, you are interesting, but you seem deeply conflicted to me at some level. You disparage what I would say is 'getting to know someone a little online' as 'flattery' and 'chasing' and say you can't be arsed, whereas the players can......... and yet they are the superficial ones?? Sorry, I think you've got something twisted and you are still, indeed, wanting women to chase you before you will invest anything in them. And that does still appear a tad narcissistic, sorry. You don't have to put in twice the effort that the 'wallies with pecs' do - the problem, I suggest, is you won't even put in the same amount of effort into one person. If I'm wrong about that then great. | |||
"What's with all these super long replies. Chill out people To be honest I'm not really enjoying it either. I guess I said some stuff which I think is true and I'm just being grilled on it and now kind of being told I'm a horrible person... or it could be construed that way. I'm just disillusioned with the format. I don't hold any negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. But I do think the ones who aren't should really move on. But now I feel like I'm under attack " Well sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, and I am not condemning you, but honey you did indeed express some deeply negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. Lets leave it there or discuss it in private if you want. xx | |||
"What's with all these super long replies. Chill out people To be honest I'm not really enjoying it either. I guess I said some stuff which I think is true and I'm just being grilled on it and now kind of being told I'm a horrible person... or it could be construed that way. I'm just disillusioned with the format. I don't hold any negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. But I do think the ones who aren't should really move on. But now I feel like I'm under attack " I'm sorry if you feel that way. I haven't read much of part 1 or 2 but it's horrible being under attack or thinking you are. It answers my question though so thanks | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! " So are you actually going to leave, or use another profile? | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something? " | |||
"What I don't get is if you feel you're not suited for here just go! Or am I missing something? " | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! So are you actually going to leave, or use another profile?" I’ve never done a leaving thread before, I just disappear and come back 7 days later! If I stay on here I’ll continue being comfy, I’ll be posting on the forums and I won’t be proactive on proper dating sites so I have to go. I’ve got an end date for the guy, if he doesn’t make a move on a social event he never will as soon as I’ve reported that I’ll fuck off for food. | |||
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"For good not for food!" ha xx | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! So are you actually going to leave, or use another profile? I’ve never done a leaving thread before, I just disappear and come back 7 days later! If I stay on here I’ll continue being comfy, I’ll be posting on the forums and I won’t be proactive on proper dating sites so I have to go. I’ve got an end date for the guy, if he doesn’t make a move on a social event he never will as soon as I’ve reported that I’ll fuck off for food. " Christmas dinner? | |||
"For good not for food!" Do what you have to do and have fun x | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! So are you actually going to leave, or use another profile? I’ve never done a leaving thread before, I just disappear and come back 7 days later! If I stay on here I’ll continue being comfy, I’ll be posting on the forums and I won’t be proactive on proper dating sites so I have to go. " Yes, I sometimes wonder if I would put more effort into conversations on dating sites if I was not 'playing' on the forums so much. But they're so BOOORING on the whole! | |||
"I’ve never done a leaving thread before, I just disappear and come back 7 days later! If I stay on here I’ll continue being comfy, I’ll be posting on the forums and I won’t be proactive on proper dating sites so I have to go. " Exactly where I'm at. I could stay. I really do enjoy chatting with you lot. But I need to push myself out. I need to get my balls so full I'm going nuts for a shag and then I finally use that energy to get out | |||
"You disparage what I would say is 'getting to know someone a little online' as 'flattery' and 'chasing' and say you can't be arsed, whereas the players can......... and yet they are the superficial ones?? Sorry, I think you've got something twisted and you are still, indeed, wanting women to chase you before you will invest anything in them. And that does still appear a tad narcissistic, sorry. You don't have to put in twice the effort that the 'wallies with pecs' do - the problem, I suggest, is you won't even put in the same amount of effort into one person. If I'm wrong about that then great." Just a couple of last points because I think I've not quite got across what I was trying to say. Before I've met someone I only have the fantasy of them. I'm willing to put a degree of effort into meeting that person, based on that fantasy. But only if I feel the feeling is reciprocal. The reason is precisely the same as your criticism. I don't have time for narcissists who think I should do all the chasing. Sorry if that comes off as harsh but I spent the last 20 years with a feminist who demanded I treat her equally. So I expect at least a little effort from the woman. I'm not big on pushing on closed doors. But players are. Oh yes. The PUA brigade push on closed doors all the time. That's their home turf. You expect me to get excited by the fantasy of you, never having met you. Like other men, I'm much more attracted to and motivated to get closer to women I've met. But players aren't. They're quite happy to invest energy in opening leads with women they've never met because they love the whole game of it all. None of these points are intended to suggest that all the other guys on here are players or that I look down on other people. It's just simply the game itself which I'm disparaging of. I'd much rather just socialise and meet people and go from there | |||
"What's with all these super long replies. Chill out people To be honest I'm not really enjoying it either. I guess I said some stuff which I think is true and I'm just being grilled on it and now kind of being told I'm a horrible person... or it could be construed that way. I'm just disillusioned with the format. I don't hold any negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. But I do think the ones who aren't should really move on. But now I feel like I'm under attack Well sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, and I am not condemning you, but honey you did indeed express some deeply negative views of the people enjoying themselves on here. " My last point is that I don't look down on others. Some people this site works for. Some who have interests that don't interest me in the slightest. But I'm happy for them that they're having fun
My initial point that perhaps led to this sense that I was looking down on people is that "quality guys don't join Fab". Apologies. I should have made that clear that this isn't my view. Just as Annie thinks guys look down on women who join Fab as not being relationship material, I think many women on Fab look down on the men on here as necessarily being low quality men... the kind they don't mind fucking... but nothing more. These are just our views on what some people of the opposite gender think about us by our being on here. | |||
"For good not for food!" Please do us a Sunday roastie thread before you disappear. | |||
"Sorry Annie but I've got to respond to some of Frisky's criticism It's nice to know that you look for some common ground outside sex with guys Frisky. And it's heartening to see you've got some info on your profile about what you're into outside sex too. It's a refreshing change from the usual list of sexual do's and dont's that is all most women's profiles contain. The women around me are just looking for cock in the main. As for the superficiality of people of both genders on Fab. Of course. It's a sex site. I personally don't find the gym bod sexy. So I'm not hankering after it. Outside that I'm actually relatively in shape and slim. So I'm a lot more fortunate than some guys. But let's face it, like one of Annie's threads the other day, even George Clooney or Bill Gates would get brushed off in here if some guy with chiselled pecks and the right dimensioned cock stepped in. Maybe not for you Frisky. But lots of women on here admit to being bewildered by the choice and are easily lured onto the next guy by the most superficial things. Fab is the great leveller. It gives male models equal or perhaps even better billing over millionaires and interesting characters. The women on here think they overcome that through the forums and through messaging. And to some extent that's true. But why do I have to exert twice the effort of some wally with pecks just to try and catch up with him when he's just a wally with pecks. I know the above may sound disdainful so I'll clarify. I'm not suggesting all the other guys on here, nor even the successful ones, are male model wallies with pecks. I'm saying that the format of Fab puts me at a disadvantage to a male model wally with pecks. The format is also a PUA players paradise and (contrary to popular impressions) that's not me. It's a dream to them because it allows 100% insincerity right up to the point of meeting. Real life just isn't that forgiving. I've always said women should meet early to test if a guy is real and check out the chemistry. But most women insist on the flattery of being chased even before the guy has ever met them. That's where the player excels and I can't be arsed. Apparently this works for women though. So go figure. As for your last few comments I appreciate your honesty Frisky. We've chatted privately but I've never pursued you. I'd happily have a brew with you. But that's just me being social and friendly. If we met and I liked you then I'd pursue you. But before then I'd only be pursuing my imagining of you. So no. You don't have insight into how I am when I engage with a woman on Fab. I think I'm going to have to respond to your depiction of me as some kind of awful narcissistic player in another reply. I sympathise that you probably don't think I'm that anymore (at least I'd bloomin well hope not) but you could've made that clearer. " Funny, innit? I've never been a model wally with a six pack, nor a white knight or sycophant or anything else that you may want to claim puts you at a disdvantage. I've never found it hard to meet people from here. | |||
"Funny, innit? I've never been a model wally with a six pack, nor a white knight or sycophant or anything else that you may want to claim puts you at a disdvantage. I've never found it hard to meet people from here. " I've found it easy too. And I've enjoyed it It's more a criticism of the format. I prefer the dating app/real life format | |||
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"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. " I didn't think you were saying that. After all, I'm here and I'm awesome. Any/all women I've told that I'm on here who I didn't meet on here have been very disparaging though. I don't tell people I meet elsewhere I'm here. | |||
"Just a couple of last points because I think I've not quite got across what I was trying to say. Before I've met someone I only have the fantasy of them. I'm willing to put a degree of effort into meeting that person, based on that fantasy. But only if I feel the feeling is reciprocal." Of course, that's normal, if there is no response you stop immediately. "But players are. Oh yes. The PUA brigade push on closed doors all the time. That's their home turf. " I disagree, only desperate horny men do that. "You expect me to get excited by the fantasy of you, never having met you." Not at all, that's why I never gave you one word of encouragement - and I do not want ANY man to be excited by a fantasy of me, in fact I am repulsed by that. What I said did not relate to me, but only to my observation of your approach. I never wanted your attention hun, as I told you, you're not my 'gym bod' type even though you have some interesting ideas. But even if you were, you are way to scatter-gun as I told you a month or two ago when you asked - I was trying to help you. What I search for is men who are genuinely interested in the real me, even if the level of that interest may vary. "None of these points are intended to suggest that all the other guys on here are players or that I look down on other people. It's just simply the game itself which I'm disparaging of. " Well I am sorry if I misunderstood the sentiment behind this paragraph: " Women just don't expect a genuinely high quality male to stoop as low as to join a site like this. As such, I feel most see the guys on here as meat. There's pretty meat and unpretty meat. I would've considered dating a woman on here but unfortunately the vast majority are too busy looking at the candy wrapping of the gym bods than seeking out anything deeper. " It genuinely appeared to me that you were insulting all the women on the site, and all the physically well-developed men of the type I meet, which is why I reacted quite so strongly. Not everyone who uses a gym is a vacuous moron you know. | |||
"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. " I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here | |||
"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here " I’d have to disagree with you there though. Obviously it’s not something you’d tell someone about who wasn’t on this site, why would anyone even do that. But the women on here don’t think guys on here aren’t worthy of relationships. I really don’t think single women on here see guys as only good enough to fuck. If a woman on here was looking for a relationship I don’t think they’d discount the guy just because he’s on here. | |||
"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here I’d have to disagree with you there though. Obviously it’s not something you’d tell someone about who wasn’t on this site, why would anyone even do that. But the women on here don’t think guys on here aren’t worthy of relationships. I really don’t think single women on here see guys as only good enough to fuck. If a woman on here was looking for a relationship I don’t think they’d discount the guy just because he’s on here. " Possibly, but women who aren't on here definitley would. I think this site allows people to exist in a bubble and not realise how unsavoury non-fabbers think we are. Back when I first started dating, I used to mention here in the interests of honesty. I've been called disgusting to my face more than once. | |||
"I disagree, only desperate horny men do that." Desperately horny men go out and get laid. They don't spend months chasing an online ghost. That's someone who enjoys the game who does that. A guy who's practicing his chat up lines. Or a guy who's married. "I do not want ANY man to be excited by a fantasy of me, in fact I am repulsed by that." Yet you want guys to invest real effort into chasing you *before they've met you*. You do realise that they're necessarily chasing the fantasy of you whilst you've got them jumping through hoops. Age old predatory chasing. That came before online. That was when men met a woman and then chased after her. I'm an arch predator when it comes to that. I'm just done with this silly game of chasing women I've never met. "I never wanted your attention hun, as I told you, you're not my 'gym bod' type even though you have some interesting ideas. But even if you were, you are way to scatter-gun as I told you a month or two ago when you asked - I was trying to help you." You keep on asserting that I have a scatter approach yet I've told you I've never chased you and you've confirmed that you've never given off signs of wanting me to. So, just as I said when you offered me that opinion before, you have no idea how I treat the women I connect with in that way on here. I assure you that my approach is not scattered. I've never blanket messaged people. And I've never carried on flirtatious conversations with more than two women at a time. Usually it's only one because it feels weird otherwise. You're repeatedly making quite a negative claim about me on a public forum and with absolutely no insight to back it up. You're basically accusing me of having a wandering eye. I don't. I stopped browsing women's profiles about 6 months ago. That's how wandering my eye is. Your opinion on this matter is incorrect and uninformed and quite frankly it's just mud slinging now. "Women just don't expect a genuinely high quality male to stoop as low as to join a site like this. As such, I feel most see the guys on here as meat. There's pretty meat and unpretty meat. I would've considered dating a woman on here but unfortunately the vast majority are too busy looking at the candy wrapping of the gym bods than seeking out anything deeper. It genuinely appeared to me that you were insulting all the women on the site, and all the physically well-developed men of the type I meet, which is why I reacted quite so strongly. Not everyone who uses a gym is a vacuous moron you know." What I wrote was caustic and colorful I'll agree. But I stand by it. But I don't stand by your misreading of it. My comments on guys being meat or gym bods has nothing to do with the guys. It was to do with how I think many women on here see the men. So I'm not claiming gym bods are morons. I'm claiming most women on here have a superficial perogative as to who they want to meet. A significant minority don't. And that's some of you lot. But I also don't think it's slanderous to accuse women of coming on here with superficial aims. Heck that's what this site is all about. I think it's totally fine. I would've left months ago if I hadn't been happy with that aspect. If a woman wants a gym bod with a massive cock to fuck her good on her! I wouldn't mind a gorgeous young woman with perfect tits to fuck me. There's nothing wrong or slanderous in acknowledging that this is what most people come on this site to do. But if you're not a gorgeous young woman with perfect tits you know what... You might be just my type of woman. Why? Because I'm looking for a personality first and (within reason) the body second. Even you Frisky admit you're coming at this from the other direction... Good body first then see what personality they've got. Honestly... that approach really works for a woman on here, as it is a body first site. So you're on the right site. But I'm not. I was when I was happily biding time and having fun with you lot. But now I should be trying to meet people in person so I can gauge their personality up front and I'm willing to forgive some physical aspects if they've got a beautiful soul. I'm hoping this last post creates some equilibrium between us Frisky I don't think you're on the wrong site. I don't think you're necessarily going to meet low calibre guys. I don't think your gym bod guys are morons. I do think you're going about things a bit weird expecting guys to jump through hoops before they've even met you. But that's your choice and you say it works for you. So does all that make you feel like you can leave it at that? | |||
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"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here I’d have to disagree with you there though. Obviously it’s not something you’d tell someone about who wasn’t on this site, why would anyone even do that. But the women on here don’t think guys on here aren’t worthy of relationships. I really don’t think single women on here see guys as only good enough to fuck. If a woman on here was looking for a relationship I don’t think they’d discount the guy just because he’s on here. Possibly, but women who aren't on here definitley would. I think this site allows people to exist in a bubble and not realise how unsavoury non-fabbers think we are. Back when I first started dating, I used to mention here in the interests of honesty. I've been called disgusting to my face more than once. " Fab is full of so many varied people. There are singles who hate swingers and vice versa. I don't think anyone can talk singularly about what single women on here think. I'd hazard a guess that lots of single women join here in the hope of finding a guy who's quite sexy and seeing where it leads. But I also think there's quite a significant minority who come on here for a fuck and who would never think of dating one of the dirty perverts on here. Again, I should hasten to add that this negative view would be how they see it, not me. I'm merely suggesting that, just as there are a contingent of singles on here who are antagonistic to swingers, there are probably a contingent of singles on here who are antagonistic to nsa fuckers. They come to fuck but they'd never date someone who also comes to fuck. This is certainly the view of people outside Fab. So it makes sense that some would continue to have it inside, whilst seeking their own bit of fun | |||
"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here I’d have to disagree with you there though. Obviously it’s not something you’d tell someone about who wasn’t on this site, why would anyone even do that. But the women on here don’t think guys on here aren’t worthy of relationships. I really don’t think single women on here see guys as only good enough to fuck. If a woman on here was looking for a relationship I don’t think they’d discount the guy just because he’s on here. Possibly, but women who aren't on here definitley would. I think this site allows people to exist in a bubble and not realise how unsavoury non-fabbers think we are. Back when I first started dating, I used to mention here in the interests of honesty. I've been called disgusting to my face more than once. " I’ve told guys I’ve met elsewhere but I want to meet a sexually adventurous guy so they wouldn’t be shocked if we were compatible. I’m not after a sexually monogamous relationship, just an emotional one. | |||
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"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. " And I would totally agree with you! | |||
"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. And I would totally agree with you! " | |||
It's very difficult not to let disillusionment with the format bleed over into a lack of enthusiasm for the next meet. After receiving so many rubbish mails there must be a part of you that's sceptical even when you get a good one. That's my issue with Fab these days.
Unfortunately, concerning the lack of respect and guys not reading your profile, it's all about the context of how you meet someone. The context here is an nsa swingers sex site. I think meeting at the local sewage works or std clinic might be a slightly worse context. But only just I'd honestly recommend you think about what would be the best context in which to meet a guy and get out there and put yourself in that context. The guy sat next to you at a royal luncheon is unlikely to ask you if you take it up the arse.
Hmm actually scrap that. Those royals are a bunch of kinky fuckers | |||
"Good rant Foxy It's very difficult not to let disillusionment with the format bleed over into a lack of enthusiasm for the next meet. After receiving so many rubbish mails there must be a part of you that's sceptical even when you get a good one. That's my issue with Fab these days.
Unfortunately, concerning the lack of respect and guys not reading your profile, it's all about the context of how you meet someone. The context here is an nsa swingers sex site. I think meeting at the local sewage works or std clinic might be a slightly worse context. But only just I'd honestly recommend you think about what would be the best context in which to meet a guy and get out there and put yourself in that context. The guy sat next to you at a royal luncheon is unlikely to ask you if you take it up the arse.
Hmm actually scrap that. Those royals are a bunch of kinky fuckers "And again, you have chosen to interpret what I have written and spin it to how you want it to be. Were you here 10 years ago? No you weren't so don't try and belittle me about how men's attitudes have changed over the years and not for the better! Or even try and make light of what you are saying by adding a , it doesn't wash here! | |||
"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. " Yup. And the kind of guys I've met often leave to get into monogamous relationships. I'll have to answer the long post after the Informer! | |||
"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. And I would totally agree with you!
"It's a lovely sentiment. And one shared by most of the women on the forum. But utterly unrepresentative of what I see on my local updates page or on lots of women's profiles. Believe it or not there really are a contingent of women on here who are just here for dick 
How many guys who run successful businesses are on here? How many who have their own yacht? How many with substantial savings behind them? How many highly cultured men? How many spiritual guys? How many willing to be deeply loyal and committed to one relationship for the rest of their life?
I'm not saying such high calibre guys aren't on here. I'm just saying that I think lots of women would assume they aren't. Why the heck would you go on to an nsa swingers site seeking a guy who's going to be loyal to you? I understand the polyamorous. But I think they're in the significant minority among women on here | |||
"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. And I would totally agree with you!
It's a lovely sentiment. And one shared by most of the women on the forum. But utterly unrepresentative of what I see on my local updates page or on lots of women's profiles. Believe it or not there really are a contingent of women on here who are just here for dick
How many guys who run successful businesses are on here? How many who have their own yacht? How many with substantial savings behind them? How many highly cultured men? How many spiritual guys? How many willing to be deeply loyal and committed to one relationship for the rest of their life?
I'm not saying such high calibre guys aren't on here. I'm just saying that I think lots of women would assume they aren't. Why the heck would you go on to an nsa swingers site seeking a guy who's going to be loyal to you? I understand the polyamorous. But I think they're in the significant minority among women on here "If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates! | |||
"Good rant Foxy It's very difficult not to let disillusionment with the format bleed over into a lack of enthusiasm for the next meet. After receiving so many rubbish mails there must be a part of you that's sceptical even when you get a good one. That's my issue with Fab these days.
Unfortunately, concerning the lack of respect and guys not reading your profile, it's all about the context of how you meet someone. The context here is an nsa swingers sex site. I think meeting at the local sewage works or std clinic might be a slightly worse context. But only just I'd honestly recommend you think about what would be the best context in which to meet a guy and get out there and put yourself in that context. The guy sat next to you at a royal luncheon is unlikely to ask you if you take it up the arse.
Hmm actually scrap that. Those royals are a bunch of kinky fuckers
And again, you have chosen to interpret what I have written and spin it to how you want it to be.
Were you here 10 years ago? No you weren't so don't try and belittle me about how men's attitudes have changed over the years and not for the better! Or even try and make light of what you are saying by adding a , it doesn't wash here!" Err I think you must've read someone else's post because I didn't spin or belittle anything of yours. I agreed with you on getting deflated with the format. And I suggested some of that is due to the context. I did all that in a light hearted way because I wasn't in any way being critical of you. You sound a bit grumpy. Which is fair enough. But don't take it out on me | |||
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"If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates!" I just checked it to make sure and it's all about cock. Not a single hint of looking for anything more | |||
"If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates! I just checked it to make sure and it's all about cock. Not a single hint of looking for anything more " I read your post about it being full of women looking for solvent men, who had a yacht and all the finer things in life, if that isn't what you meant then where the hell did that all come from?  | |||
"I don’t know why having a yacht is a good thing. Have you seen the waves? Fucking huge!! Up and down and side to side and up and down and side to side and up and down and vomit on the shag pile. " Keeps tipping the champagne into the caviar too | |||
"If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates! I just checked it to make sure and it's all about cock. Not a single hint of looking for anything more " No disrespect , but I have those in my feed two , I block bout 4 to 6 daily , my spidy sense suggests they are most likely not genuine at face value ? Most of the profiles deem genuine are not after one off cock , as the forums reflect , my experience of the genuine ladies is they want a connection , a fb or 2 It does however seem some if not many men are fooled by the sham profiles and wrongly think the real ladies are porn star fuck dolls
This can indeed lead to the situation we now have x | |||
"If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates! I just checked it to make sure and it's all about cock. Not a single hint of looking for anything more I read your post about it being full of women looking for solvent men, who had a yacht and all the finer things in life, if that isn't what you meant then where the hell did that all come from? "Haha you're really muddled here aren't you I was saying the opposite... that most women are on here for cock, not yacht owners | |||
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"If that was what I was looking for, I certainly wouldn't be here! I am sure there are other sites to cater for that, so I am calling BOLLOX on what you have just said about your local updates! I just checked it to make sure and it's all about cock. Not a single hint of looking for anything more I read your post about it being full of women looking for solvent men, who had a yacht and all the finer things in life, if that isn't what you meant then where the hell did that all come from?
Haha you're really muddled here aren't you I was saying the opposite... that most women are on here for cock, not yacht owners "Obviously, just not sure where those references came from as they just don't correlate | |||
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't "I certainly dont look down on guys on here, and are positively looking for the horny pervs , I reckon most woman have to have a bit of a connection with a man even if its only loosely perceived on their part. Woman cheat with their mind, men with their cock and all that.
But saying that, if I was looking for a relationship I may be nervous of how 'faithful' they would be. Assuming I wanted a traditional relationship knowing how easy it is to go about things on here I certainly wouldnt worry about the 'quality' of men. Heck even Ive managed to find one with a boat. I think its sinking but even so. | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't
I certainly dont look down on guys on here, and are positively looking for the horny pervs , I reckon most woman have to have a bit of a connection with a man even if its only loosely perceived on their part. Woman cheat with their mind, men with their cock and all that.
But saying that, if I was looking for a relationship I may be nervous of how 'faithful' they would be. Assuming I wanted a traditional relationship knowing how easy it is to go about things on here I certainly wouldnt worry about the 'quality' of men. Heck even Ive managed to find one with a boat. I think its sinking but even so. "But isn't being faithful the hallmark of quality? If the women on here are doubtful of finding a faithful guy isn't that the same as assuming they won't find a quality guy? | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't
I certainly dont look down on guys on here, and are positively looking for the horny pervs , I reckon most woman have to have a bit of a connection with a man even if its only loosely perceived on their part. Woman cheat with their mind, men with their cock and all that.
But saying that, if I was looking for a relationship I may be nervous of how 'faithful' they would be. Assuming I wanted a traditional relationship knowing how easy it is to go about things on here I certainly wouldnt worry about the 'quality' of men. Heck even Ive managed to find one with a boat. I think its sinking but even so.
But isn't being faithful the hallmark of quality? If the women on here are doubtful of finding a faithful guy isn't that the same as assuming they won't find a quality guy? "I dont know. Everyonè will have their own idea on quality I suppose. | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't "Women don’t look down on the guys here. The cum hungry female profiles you see are either hotwives/couples, fake profiles ie men pretending to be women for wank fodder, orrr women that are fronting, ie trying to look nonchalant and capable of nsa, it’s the women who openly state they want connections or something more from a guy, it’s those women who get it thrown back in their face and can be tricked by guys promising all that with no intention to deliver. Women are biologically programmed differently to men, it takes a hell of a woman to be able to separate sex and emotions, female halves of couples can do it more because they already have their emotional needs met. As for people off fab, they don’t know the site and how it works, people that have never been on here will have a certain perception of things and think it’s worse than it is. | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't
Women don’t look down on the guys here. The cum hungry female profiles you see are either hotwives/couples, fake profiles ie men pretending to be women for wank fodder, orrr women that are fronting, ie trying to look nonchalant and capable of nsa, it’s the women who openly state they want connections or something more from a guy, it’s those women who get it thrown back in their face and can be tricked by guys promising all that with no intention to deliver. Women are biologically programmed differently to men, it takes a hell of a woman to be able to separate sex and emotions, female halves of couples can do it more because they already have their emotional needs met.
As for people off fab, they don’t know the site and how it works, people that have never been on here will have a certain perception of things and think it’s worse than it is.
" | |||
"I’ve never said there aren’t quality guys on here though. I’ve always said that I would have a relationship with a guy from here. My point and my experience is that the single men on here use this place as a stop gap. They will fuck women on here but won’t date them. I’ve never said I don’t think quality guys would use this site. I think the fact I’ve wasted so much time on here hoping that a guy from here would want more proves that point. I'm not accusing you of that Annie. I'm merely expressing the same view as you in reverse. You say that lots of guys on here don't see the women on here as relationship material. I'm suggesting that lots of women on here think the same about the guys on here. And Jimi is right... this is particularly amplified in the women who aren't on here I’d have to disagree with you there though. Obviously it’s not something you’d tell someone about who wasn’t on this site, why would anyone even do that. But the women on here don’t think guys on here aren’t worthy of relationships. I really don’t think single women on here see guys as only good enough to fuck. If a woman on here was looking for a relationship I don’t think they’d discount the guy just because he’s on here. Possibly, but women who aren't on here definitley would. I think this site allows people to exist in a bubble and not realise how unsavoury non-fabbers think we are. Back when I first started dating, I used to mention here in the interests of honesty. I've been called disgusting to my face more than once. " I very much agree about the bubble. | |||
"It's been interesting hearing women's response to my suggestion lots of women on here look down on the guys on here as just horny pervs and not quality guys. I'm willing to entertain the possibility that I'm mistaken on this. But as 100% of women outside of Fab would look down on a guy for being on Fab it's a bit difficult to believe that 100% of the women on Fab don't
I'm sceptical. It makes much more sense that most women on Fab have the same mindset as women off Fab and it's only the more liberated like you lot who don't "I've always said I wouldn't have a relationship with someone off here. But it's not at all due to a 'different quality' of person on here. People have often said they value sex above anything else in a relationship and would end it if the sex dried up. Or they would cheat to get the sex that they can't live without. They want someone that would fuck on tap. They want the perceived 'up for sex all the time' kind of person- that's why they look on here. | |||
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"Op your a 100% right to leave here if i was single there is no way i would be here there are some vile foul mouthed abusive men here and some also think cos your here your sex on tap " Some. That's the same in the real world too | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! So are you actually going to leave, or use another profile?" | |||
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"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. " You're very very wrong, not everyone needs to be in a relationship to feel complete. You're the one that needs something, dont imply everyone does. I personally remain on here whilst single and would NEVER consider dating anything off here!. For the same reason men tell you you're not worthy, I don't find fuck boys worthy of dating. I also don't covet other people's partners as some kind of sycophant would. Maybe take some time out to learn to love and like yourself, it may put your wanting into some perspective. Either way being on a swingers site looking for love can't be the healthy or sane option. It's not always the women that are hard done by, yet that's all a lot tend to do on here, is complain about not being the one....maybe you're just not!. | |||
"Can I ask....if your leaving...why do you change your pic every 5 mins x" ATTENTION...won't fit in picture the box? | |||
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"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! " Good to know | |||
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"Annie has left the building or just blocked me again lol" Still here just hidden | |||
"Bloody thread filled up. Just wanted to address the guy who quoted me as saying “I owe it to some people so I’ll stay a month” I didn’t say that. I said I owe it to some people to let them know what happens with gym guy next month. That is all! " The same gym guy from last year? Or was it the year before | |||
"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. You're very very wrong, not everyone needs to be in a relationship to feel complete. You're the one that needs something, dont imply everyone does. I personally remain on here whilst single and would NEVER consider dating anything off here!. For the same reason men tell you you're not worthy, I don't find fuck boys worthy of dating. I also don't covet other people's partners as some kind of sycophant would. Maybe take some time out to learn to love and like yourself, it may put your wanting into some perspective. Either way being on a swingers site looking for love can't be the healthy or sane option. It's not always the women that are hard done by, yet that's all a lot tend to do on here, is complain about not being the one....maybe you're just not!. "Sorry hard. | |||
"Can I ask....if your leaving...why do you change your pic every 5 mins x" Love how you’re so concerned with everything I do. To answer your question, I changed my picture because I wanted to. Even though my profile is hidden and only the avatar is visible on the forums I didn’t want my face picture on anymore so changed it to another one. Does that satisfy you now you know why I changed my picture. Lap it all up, it’s people like you and the other buzzards that make it easier to leave this place. | |||
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"This departure is like death by a thousand cuts......nearly two complete threads. " That’s without my last hurrah thread when I actually leave, I’m getting my 8 years worth of goodbyes | |||
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"Can I ask....if your leaving...why do you change your pic every 5 mins x Love how you’re so concerned with everything I do. To answer your question, I changed my picture because I wanted to. Even though my profile is hidden and only the avatar is visible on the forums I didn’t want my face picture on anymore so changed it to another one. Does that satisfy you now you know why I changed my picture. Lap it all up, it’s people like you and the other buzzards that make it easier to leave this place. " I'm not concerned. You just annoy me x | |||
"Annie are you okay? Are you okay Annie?" Are those smooth criminals hitting her again? | |||
"Can I ask....if your leaving...why do you change your pic every 5 mins x Love how you’re so concerned with everything I do. To answer your question, I changed my picture because I wanted to. Even though my profile is hidden and only the avatar is visible on the forums I didn’t want my face picture on anymore so changed it to another one. Does that satisfy you now you know why I changed my picture. Lap it all up, it’s people like you and the other buzzards that make it easier to leave this place. I'm not concerned. You just annoy me x" If I was constantly following you around and posting in threads you’d started I’d be sympathetic to your annoyance but you follow me around, you comment in my threads. If I annoy you so much, don’t read my thread. Makes sense really doesn’t it. | |||
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"Can I ask....if your leaving...why do you change your pic every 5 mins x Love how you’re so concerned with everything I do. To answer your question, I changed my picture because I wanted to. Even though my profile is hidden and only the avatar is visible on the forums I didn’t want my face picture on anymore so changed it to another one. Does that satisfy you now you know why I changed my picture. Lap it all up, it’s people like you and the other buzzards that make it easier to leave this place. I'm not concerned. You just annoy me x If I was constantly following you around and posting in threads you’d started I’d be sympathetic to your annoyance but you follow me around, you comment in my threads. If I annoy you so much, don’t read my thread. Makes sense really doesn’t it. " That is a Fair point | |||
"This departure is like death by a thousand cuts......nearly two complete threads. That’s without my last hurrah thread when I actually leave, I’m getting my 8 years worth of goodbyes "So before you finally leave....FAF? | |||
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"This thread isnt what FAB is about..its getting a bit too personal and direct. Think it should be closed now tbh. Live and let live...im a relative newby but even im having my eyes opened. Shame really." This is nothing | |||
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"I really really don’t think women on here see guys as dirty perverts who are only good enough to fuck. Yes there probably are dirty perverts but they wouldn’t even be good enough to fuck. The hot wives and the female halves of couples may possibly see a guy as just a fuck because that’s all they are seeking, their emotional quota is met by their significant other. I’ll go out on a limb here and say the single women on here do not see the guys on here as just a fuck. I’d confidently say all single women would be open to the idea of having a connection with a guy and seeing where it led, IF they were seeking relationships. And I would totally agree with you!
" | |||
"I am similar to you OP (I wanted to post on the other thread but it got too long). I would love to find a bit of romance, someone who I really connect with and is on the same page as me. The problem is I know that in order to do that he must come with baggage and it is so hard to find someone who actually likes me for me and will support me through the shit times as well as the good times. That is why I am on here, because I know I won't find that so I might as well enjoy myself whilst I am single. But sometimes this site gets to me and makes me feel like a toy that men think they can use whenever they like. Good luck on your ventures.. also please update me - who is this gym guy??? " My advice would be to just enjoy the site for what it is and don’t have expectations, I wouldn’t sleep with the same person for too long or you could end up catching unreciprocated feelings. Try and spread your attention around a few guys even though that’s hard to do as one always seems to stand out from the rest. Remember that this site can make guys have certain perceptions of you, I’ve had guys tell me they wished they’d met me in real life and not from here. Oh and gym guy is a colleague I have a crush on! | |||
"I am similar to you OP (I wanted to post on the other thread but it got too long). I would love to find a bit of romance, someone who I really connect with and is on the same page as me. The problem is I know that in order to do that he must come with baggage and it is so hard to find someone who actually likes me for me and will support me through the shit times as well as the good times. That is why I am on here, because I know I won't find that so I might as well enjoy myself whilst I am single. But sometimes this site gets to me and makes me feel like a toy that men think they can use whenever they like. Good luck on your ventures.. also please update me - who is this gym guy??? My advice would be to just enjoy the site for what it is and don’t have expectations, I wouldn’t sleep with the same person for too long or you could end up catching unreciprocated feelings. Try and spread your attention around a few guys even though that’s hard to do as one always seems to stand out from the rest. Remember that this site can make guys have certain perceptions of you, I’ve had guys tell me they wished they’d met me in real life and not from here. Oh and gym guy is a colleague I have a crush on! " Men on here can have what ever perceptions of me they want. They think I am a slut then fair enough, only I know who and what I am and their thoughts wont change that. It's more then men that don't spend time getting to know me before deciding to meet that get on my nerves. Those are the ones I delete. Just ignore everyone above being nasty, do what you need to do; if that means putting up a threat, saying goodbye or just leaving as long as its what is good for you then that is enough. x | |||
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"Can I remind people that if certain other forum users irritate or annoy you then just ignore threads that they start. It is pretty easy to do." I love you all  . Shame it’s not reciprocal | |||
