FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Mental health

Mental health

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Any advice on how to improve and help mental strength

Since my operation I’ve struggled with loneliness, my worth, having to rely on people, anxiety and depression. Plus my past issue of assault has crept into my head.

Through reading it’s common post operation to have these issues due to recovery time and will improve but ideas how to speed up might help

I already go for walks, exercise, visit family regular and relax on PS4 lol but still struggle

I don’t mean to whine or stuff or be a look at me post just after advice or chat

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Didn't you say you were going to talk to your doc about the op and how down you feel? Tell them about the other stuff too.

Maybe search for organisations that can help with specific issues. I think specific help would be more useful than generic. Hope that makes sense.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Didn't you say you were going to talk to your doc about the op and how down you feel? Tell them about the other stuff too.

Maybe search for organisations that can help with specific issues. I think specific help would be more useful than generic. Hope that makes sense. "

I did they said it’s a natural thing and part of post operation that people get low due to time/setbacks and stuff.

Dr offered me pills but I don’t wana start that same as sleeping tablets not good in long run.

I have reached out to organisations and chatted and few goin send me stuff or reply.

Just know fab a good lot of people with various things that others may have good ideas to try

Ta for the msg an help steel

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Didn't you say you were going to talk to your doc about the op and how down you feel? Tell them about the other stuff too.

Maybe search for organisations that can help with specific issues. I think specific help would be more useful than generic. Hope that makes sense.

I did they said it’s a natural thing and part of post operation that people get low due to time/setbacks and stuff.

Dr offered me pills but I don’t wana start that same as sleeping tablets not good in long run.

I have reached out to organisations and chatted and few goin send me stuff or reply.

Just know fab a good lot of people with various things that others may have good ideas to try

Ta for the msg an help steel"

Did you have your night out with your work mates yet? That would be good to start getting you back into the mood for work.

I think you said it's still a couple of months till you can go back but it will be easier to fit back in if you've seen them in between. Not such a 'long lost stranger' kind of thing.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Didn't you say you were going to talk to your doc about the op and how down you feel? Tell them about the other stuff too.

Maybe search for organisations that can help with specific issues. I think specific help would be more useful than generic. Hope that makes sense.

I did they said it’s a natural thing and part of post operation that people get low due to time/setbacks and stuff.

Dr offered me pills but I don’t wana start that same as sleeping tablets not good in long run.

I have reached out to organisations and chatted and few goin send me stuff or reply.

Just know fab a good lot of people with various things that others may have good ideas to try

Ta for the msg an help steel

Did you have your night out with your work mates yet? That would be good to start getting you back into the mood for work.

I think you said it's still a couple of months till you can go back but it will be easier to fit back in if you've seen them in between. Not such a 'long lost stranger' kind of thing.

Not yet hard cos shifts but know few the girls trying sort out

Yeah will been 7 months since op when go back feel like new person goin back lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey mate you re not moaning you re reaching out and you re doing all you should be doing.. The mind and body do tend to stray if left idle, often to places you d rather not be.. Keep yourself busy, keep socialising etc.. I find off road running is a great way, soft on the body but keeps things squared away, but thats me.. Walks are great.. I am talking from experience and i rarely seek help but get this.. Up until a month ago i was living solitary in my truck, 18months, and one month after things nearly went terminally pear shaped i cut myself off and git stuck into work and lived in a private wood i manage. It was best thing i did, though not suggesting it for anyone else, but what i found was my daily chores, work took up my entire day.. Cooking and laundry over a fire. But first fibd firewood etc, mainrain fire all day.. What i m trying to say was i had so many things to do day to day and these chores did not have remotes or electricity or hot water, my mind had no time to wander.. So keep busy, dont dwell, if you feel yourself dipping stick some music on, loud, sing a long.. You ll get there bud, just hang in and chat to some of us if online... Personally i find gaming numbs the mind

stay cool, stay healthy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ve increased exercises and walks

I try go do shopping even though have panic attack or get anxious cos I don’t wana do that in work will be bad lol

And trying to reconnect with work people

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You re a musician... So play and listen.. I recently watched Clapton interview and he spoke of losing his son.. He said for two months he saw no one, spoke to no one, he just picked up his guitar and played... Why nit pick a sound you ve always wanted to play but never managed and set that as your goal, your focus.. Hammer away at it til you ve got it... Music and dance are my saviours, so long as i ve got them i m good.. Sometimes i jump in truck n drive and pound out the toones... Albert king, stevie ray... Once drove upto scotland and back just for the drive and the sounds

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hey mate you re not moaning you re reaching out and you re doing all you should be doing.. The mind and body do tend to stray if left idle, often to places you d rather not be.. Keep yourself busy, keep socialising etc.. I find off road running is a great way, soft on the body but keeps things squared away, but thats me.. Walks are great.. I am talking from experience and i rarely seek help but get this.. Up until a month ago i was living solitary in my truck, 18months, and one month after things nearly went terminally pear shaped i cut myself off and git stuck into work and lived in a private wood i manage. It was best thing i did, though not suggesting it for anyone else, but what i found was my daily chores, work took up my entire day.. Cooking and laundry over a fire. But first fibd firewood etc, mainrain fire all day.. What i m trying to say was i had so many things to do day to day and these chores did not have remotes or electricity or hot water, my mind had no time to wander.. So keep busy, dont dwell, if you feel yourself dipping stick some music on, loud, sing a long.. You ll get there bud, just hang in and chat to some of us if online... Personally i find gaming numbs the mind

stay cool, stay healthy"

Thanks mate

Haha I wish I could run that’s what lead to my operation screwing my knee up running lol

Glad see you doing good though, keep up the positive changes and don’t be so isolated

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You re a musician... So play and listen.. I recently watched Clapton interview and he spoke of losing his son.. He said for two months he saw no one, spoke to no one, he just picked up his guitar and played... Why nit pick a sound you ve always wanted to play but never managed and set that as your goal, your focus.. Hammer away at it til you ve got it... Music and dance are my saviours, so long as i ve got them i m good.. Sometimes i jump in truck n drive and pound out the toones... Albert king, stevie ray... Once drove upto scotland and back just for the drive and the sounds

I’ve been doing that reconnected to guitars I couldn’t play post operation plus writing more songs again which is good for the soul.

Oh jealous of the drive I can’t drive solo yet but I enjoy when family drive me round an play music

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So cmon.. Whats you re music style? My driving, yeah, works for me, am heading off in two weeks cos a situation i m not happy with has come up.. Sooo stick toones on, turn ignition key and hit tarmac.. Got a feeling orkneys may be destination.. Round trip of 1600 miles plus... Fk it, theres a world out there.. Bring it on

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"So cmon.. Whats you re music style? My driving, yeah, works for me, am heading off in two weeks cos a situation i m not happy with has come up.. Sooo stick toones on, turn ignition key and hit tarmac.. Got a feeling orkneys may be destination.. Round trip of 1600 miles plus... Fk it, theres a world out there.. Bring it on

Am indie rock mostly although do touch county-rock playing lead and rhythm while singing and writing

Yeah I love driving always fun to chill with tunes I’m always listening to music singing or playing music

I even got back into art

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some time by the sea, if getting out into the open air helps you. I find the sound and movement of the waves to be uplifting and calming. Better if I can swim in it, but as it's almost winter, not such a good idea.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Am indie rock mostly although do touch county-rock playing lead and rhythm while singing and writing

Yeah I love driving always fun to chill with tunes I’m always listening to music singing or playing music

I even got back into art

Which kind of art?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is there any music or art clubs you could join round your way x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love the sea, lived by it in my truck for a long time, love it in all its extremes... Art, music.. Mate theres your focus... Currently sat by sea listening to eagles.. Seven bridges

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Am indie rock mostly although do touch county-rock playing lead and rhythm while singing and writing

Yeah I love driving always fun to chill with tunes I’m always listening to music singing or playing music

I even got back into art

Which kind of art?"

Been doing some basic landscaping and have been doing cartoon stuff like Disney

Used do portraits lots but need get back to it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Is there any music or art clubs you could join round your way x"

I don’t know cool idea

I wana start playing gigs again but can’t whike off work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then nows the time.. Break out them brushes or pic n get yourself settled to tge arts... The most beautiful way of portraying, seeing and feeling this great world of ours

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iobhainWoman over a year ago

Éire

Exercising really helps me and I live by the sea. No better feeling down there on a windy day really blows the cobwebs away x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any advice on how to improve and help mental strength

Since my operation I’ve struggled with loneliness, my worth, having to rely on people, anxiety and depression. Plus my past issue of assault has crept into my head.

Through reading it’s common post operation to have these issues due to recovery time and will improve but ideas how to speed up might help

I already go for walks, exercise, visit family regular and relax on PS4 lol but still struggle

I don’t mean to whine or stuff or be a look at me post just after advice or chat"

We all have ups and downs.

If I may suggest you to read some books.

Search Law of attraction. It may not fit everyone but it helped me.

Good luck to you, wish you become happier

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

Lol I started a jigsaw ?? few days ago thought be good as challenge but last night couldn’t find a piece I’ve sorted all pieces into colour and still couldn’t find it I ended up crying in frustration.

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash"

It wasn't one of those baked beans jigsaws was it lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash

It wasn't one of those baked beans jigsaws was it lol x"

Nah I got a Star Wars one from m&s the piece will probably show up but Jesus couldn’t believe I started crying loads

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Any advice on how to improve and help mental strength

Since my operation I’ve struggled with loneliness, my worth, having to rely on people, anxiety and depression. Plus my past issue of assault has crept into my head.

Through reading it’s common post operation to have these issues due to recovery time and will improve but ideas how to speed up might help

I already go for walks, exercise, visit family regular and relax on PS4 lol but still struggle

I don’t mean to whine or stuff or be a look at me post just after advice or chat"

Be sure to get out and meet new people, take up new activities as well as the old ones. You already get exercise but eat healthily and do things to stimulate your mind not your cock. I got over ten years of depression and anxiety doing just this and do not be afraid to get referred to local mental health services, they really help and you can mix with others in the same boat. I enjoyed it so much that I volunteered and counselled for them for five years.

Now I am holding down a full time IT job for 3 years and get out more than ever, I also organise group activities.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash

It wasn't one of those baked beans jigsaws was it lol x

Nah I got a Star Wars one from m&s the piece will probably show up but Jesus couldn’t believe I started crying loads"

I don't know about crying but if I took ages to do a jigsaw and there was one piece missing I'd be raging x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash

It wasn't one of those baked beans jigsaws was it lol x

Nah I got a Star Wars one from m&s the piece will probably show up but Jesus couldn’t believe I started crying loads

I don't know about crying but if I took ages to do a jigsaw and there was one piece missing I'd be raging x"

Haha I haven’t even made that much about a 5th

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for ideas and stuff I will try new stuff as I’m able and old stuff

I know stuff will get better just up days are amazing and down seen happen with a crash

It wasn't one of those baked beans jigsaws was it lol x

Nah I got a Star Wars one from m&s the piece will probably show up but Jesus couldn’t believe I started crying loads

I don't know about crying but if I took ages to do a jigsaw and there was one piece missing I'd be raging x

Haha I haven’t even made that much about a 5th"

It might not be missing then lol

I got my son a gorilla one for his Xmas years ago. He was at it for weeks. It ended up in the bin lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Haha will see just last night I went pop

It’s goin be big when made haha

I always make Lego but thought try jigsaw which my mum laughed and said it’s not as fun as Lego but I was oh I love Lego I’ll enjoy this hahaha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aww no canny go lego. The wean always took the Lego when he went to his grannys lol x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Aww no canny go lego. The wean always took the Lego when he went to his grannys lol x"

Haha there only me so I buy expensive sets haha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Haha will see just last night I went pop

It’s goin be big when made haha

I always make Lego but thought try jigsaw which my mum laughed and said it’s not as fun as Lego but I was oh I love Lego I’ll enjoy this hahaha"

Oh hell yeah Lego is more fun than jigsaws. I'd end up more fed up because I'm crap at jigsaws.

Anyway crying is great at relieving stress. You probably really needed it. It wasn't the missing piece that made you cry, it was the build up of lots of things and just the final straw. See it as a positive.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Haha will see just last night I went pop

It’s goin be big when made haha

I always make Lego but thought try jigsaw which my mum laughed and said it’s not as fun as Lego but I was oh I love Lego I’ll enjoy this hahaha

Oh hell yeah Lego is more fun than jigsaws. I'd end up more fed up because I'm crap at jigsaws.

I always love your outlook

Yeah Lego is amazing just expensive I made Saturn V few weeks ago was amazing now pride an joy in living room hehe but cos 150£

Thought try jigsaw I not done one since I was young omg bad idea making my ocd crazy lol

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

stay cool, stay healthy"

Like a caveman.

That all really makes sense, you've inspired me to get outside. I usually drive for relaxation so a long drive to the sea would probably be a great idea for me. Get the music on.

Screaming like a loon while out in the car is also good for stress relief. You can't really do it at home or the neighbours would worry.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *alcon43Woman over a year ago

Paisley

It’s a difficult time. Especially if the operation was traumatic. I needed an op in January and felt traumatised by the whole thing.

Why don’t you find a class at your local college for your art or music or learn a new skill. They run them part time usually in the evenings. It’ll help you socialise and make new friends.

Volunteer for a local charity. I know you can’t drive but there is still public transport.

Take a trip. Take a train to a new place and explore.

Find a support group or ask at your GP or hospital if there’s some form of buddy or befriending system. Might help you to feel less isolated. Meet someone for a coffee from here.

I know it’s difficult. Medication isn’t the worst thing in the world and may help kick start your recovery mentally.

I’m happy to chat if you want to PM.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It’s a difficult time. Especially if the operation was traumatic. I needed an op in January and felt traumatised by the whole thing.

Why don’t you find a class at your local college for your art or music or learn a new skill. They run them part time usually in the evenings. It’ll help you socialise and make new friends.

Volunteer for a local charity. I know you can’t drive but there is still public transport.

Take a trip. Take a train to a new place and explore.

Find a support group or ask at your GP or hospital if there’s some form of buddy or befriending system. Might help you to feel less isolated. Meet someone for a coffee from here.

I know it’s difficult. Medication isn’t the worst thing in the world and may help kick start your recovery mentally.

I’m happy to chat if you want to PM. "

Thank you I’d enjoy chats also

I have tried so hard get a coffee meet on here but no one ever meets

Guess am having a bad few days tomorrow I have physio so get chat to him an her an also see my dad cos he takes me so that makes me feel good

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks ppl

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah steel heels my life is quite cavemanish but it made me realise that you need nothing in this life more than those you love and respect... I m always singing, well to me its singing and dont forget, singing out loud exercises those facial muscles, makes you feel happy inside and keeps the smile looking young n gorgeous xx

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tears are great and whatever others say its very much a man thing.. One day in truro i heard a piece of guitar music, rodriguez guitar concerto, second movement.. Three notes took me straight back to my child unhappy days, so i stoid and listened and sobbed my heart out.. Messaged a friend, now my girlfriend, and she said cry and if you re embarrased put on your sunglasses.. My message back was.. No, they are my tears, they are my feelings, i own them and no one else has a right to judge me... I went straight in hmv, bought tge piece if music and listened fay after day until my tears became happy tears due to the passion of the music, not the memory... What i m saying is cry, sob those feelings out and sod those that do not understand. I saw the film killing fields three times, and on each occassion this one guy sobbed like you wouldn t believe.. Most just laughed or shook their head but i looked at him, his age was right for the cambodia issue and his tears suggested a personal link... Humankind these days is sooo quick to judge

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic