FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ladies... Have you ever...?
Ladies... Have you ever...?
Jump to: Newest in thread
  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men 
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!"This is exactly the type of thing my friend and I were discussing. She was regretting opportunities she'd missed in her Fab days because she felt she didn't measure up (despite being one of the most seductively curvy and beautiful women I've ever met). You've mentioned that they're not your usual 'type'... So why can't you accept that if you still want to meet them, they are just as likely to go against type and meet you? Ps.. I think you're bloody gorgeous, bright, witty and big-hearted, and any man would be nuts if they didn't want to meet you!  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what." Jolly well said x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!
This is exactly the type of thing my friend and I were discussing. She was regretting opportunities she'd missed in her Fab days because she felt she didn't measure up (despite being one of the most seductively curvy and beautiful women I've ever met).
You've mentioned that they're not your usual 'type'... So why can't you accept that if you still want to meet them, they are just as likely to go against type and meet you?
Ps.. I think you're bloody gorgeous, bright, witty and big-hearted, and any man would be nuts if they didn't want to meet you! "Aha oh you’ve made me smile!  thank you 
And I do try and remind myself that - my hubby tells me too, but I just can’t get it out of my head! xx | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I am not a lady (just in case my hairy torso made you think otherwise), but I experience this feeling all the time. " Men are prepared to put themselves out there a little bit more though in general, don't you think? When you say all the time... Does this mean you don't mail or approach anyone at all? Ps.... You've some nice pics and from what I've seen of you around the forum you seem like a decent guy, don't underestimate yourself | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting "Yep. There’s 2 on here. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
Yep. There’s 2 on here. "On the forums I mean not this thread. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes I do this. I know its stupid, if they want to meet me who am I to say I'm not hot enough for them, but I can't help it! " So you hit self-destruct on the conversation out of self-preservation? Think we've all been there
Ps... You've some stunning photographs and your profile is very well written. The Jeffery Dean Morgan (yes... I agree... He's a hottie!!) reference might have the same enthusiasm-dampening effect on some men though perhaps? You seem like a fun person around the forums | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep. I realise though that my wit and blow job skills are what draws them to me rather than my looks or sexual prowess. " We attended the same school me thinks x (I so love your posts btw) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes totally.. very happily 'quirky' but know I won't be a lot of guys cup of tea x " Do you use your quirkiness as a wall do you think? Ps... I see a lady who has some fabulous photos and a very well thought out profile. I don't really know you from around the forums, but I can't see any reason why any man would not feel incredibly lucky to meet you! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There was one guy who I thought was joking that he wanted to meet me as I’m the total opposite to the women he’s seen previously, a real hottie but in the end thought sod it im going to meet him so glad I did! " That's what fab's about in my opinion, getting the opportunity to experience things you wouldn't usually be able to with people who wouldn't necessarily be your "type" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"All u ladies need to have more confidence in yourself also u say your not his usual type but do u ladies only ever go for the one type I doubt it sure sometimes they might say no but u gotta think what if and if u fancy him why not ask if he says no then nothing changes if they say yes then well the night gets good " You're right and people are always telling men to do that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes totally.. very happily 'quirky' but know I won't be a lot of guys cup of tea x Do you use your quirkiness as a wall do you think? Ps... I see a lady who has some fabulous photos and a very well thought out profile. I don't really know you from around the forums, but I can't see any reason why any man would not feel incredibly lucky to meet you! "Ah bless you that's very kind Partly I think.. I'm really comfortable in my own skin but where men are concerned I'm hopeless! I think I'm just aware that a tattooed, pierced, smoking non drinker isn't everyone's idea of fun just as lots of the males profiles aren't mine x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Same vein, but I do it with trans veries... I do it and suss out the competition from peoples Veries.... and think ...meh... forget it.. they are younger and much more lush than me ... so I know where you're coming from OP x" Body-type and age seem to be common factors in this. But if we all think the same way... That person you fancy will only ever get replies from people of that age group, body type or hair colour... and so the trend is perpetuated. Ps... Love your photos and the fact that you welcome people into your home for social dinners... That's a wonderful idea! You seem like a really lovely person | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!"You like them and they want to meet you, ffs meet them!  | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep all the time "Do you close yourself off to everyone? Do you feel better or worse on some days than others? Are you more open to conversation on some days because you feel you might handle any hint of rejection better? Ps... Fabulous photos and your profile is very confident. You seem to know exactly what you want. I'd imagine men contacting you find that very attractive, particularly if they're submissive. You're worrying unnecessarily | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"?" Haha in a nutshell | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
 | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"All the time "Is this an insecurity you both share? Do you find that you put up walls just as much to protect your partner as yourself? Ps... You've lovely photos, the ones of you together are particularly attractive as they show how loving you are as a couple. Your profile clearly identifies as BBW and you know what you want. If a man contacts you... He's interested!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
  ) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"?" No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" Ps... Love your photos and the fact that you welcome people into your home for social dinners... That's a wonderful idea! You seem like a really lovely person "Thank you that's a kind thing to say,, x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"?" good point! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"So many times! xx" Do you think this has in any way inspired you in exploring your dominant side? Do you think being in the driver's seat will improve your self-confidence? Ps... You look fabulous and fun. Your profile is very clear and you seem to have a giggle with the forums. As I said last night, enjoy exploring your dominant side... Being a Switch is so much fun! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No! The last person i met had verifications from short blonde ladies.. I see it as a challenge "I love your style lady!! Has that always been your attitude or do you think time and experience has given you more confidence? My friend only gave the site 12 months before quitting, her self-confidence was pretty much shattered when she left. She's doing much better now, but I think if she'd stayed a little longer she would have come through her funk anyway.
Ps... You already know I think you're a lovely lady in lots of ways. I admire your character | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what." Sometimes thinking you're not good enough is a good thing. Its what pushes us to improve ourselves in mind, body and spirit. A little bit of self-doubt can be beneficial in order for us to strive to develop and evolve as human beings. It's also good to know you're not alone in these doubts and that you may be surprised by who shares them with you Again, I'll ask if you always felt this way or if you ever harboured any insecurities in the past?
Ps... Your profile and comment comes across as very confident and I would imagine that many find that attractive | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep. I realise though that my wit and blow job skills are what draws them to me rather than my looks or sexual prowess. " Are they not equally part of the fun little package that makes up Princess Peach though? Ps... Shurrup!! I've met you and you're bloody amazing. You're the pocket goddess of mirth and mayhem. I can't speak for your sexual prowess but you look lush | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what. Jolly well said x "I sense Pooch nodding too! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That problem also of thinking he wont give me a glance also applies for guys so many very atractive women are gagging for cock and men for pussy think its about time as your nearly there by being on this site go for what you are gagging to have you will be surprised how fantastic it really is to enjoy once you have had your first you deff want more " Guys are more vocal on this issue though. There are far more threads started by guys asking for advice, wondering why they don't get replies, and yes... even the negative ones ranting about women's sense of self-entitlement. Is it not refreshing to know that everyone has the same insecurities? I wonder how many mind-blowing Fab meets have never happened because both parties felt 'unworthy' of each other? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting "Yip I definitely have | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"All u ladies need to have more confidence in yourself also u say your not his usual type but do u ladies only ever go for the one type I doubt it sure sometimes they might say no but u gotta think what if and if u fancy him why not ask if he says no then nothing changes if they say yes then well the night gets good " What he said don't be fooled by the lack of punctuation... The man speaks sense | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That problem also of thinking he wont give me a glance also applies for guys so many very atractive women are gagging for cock and men for pussy think its about time as your nearly there by being on this site go for what you are gagging to have you will be surprised how fantastic it really is to enjoy once you have had your first you deff want more Guys are more vocal on this issue though. There are far more threads started by guys asking for advice, wondering why they don't get replies, and yes... even the negative ones ranting about women's sense of self-entitlement. Is it not refreshing to know that everyone has the same insecurities? I wonder how many mind-blowing Fab meets have never happened because both parties felt 'unworthy' of each other? " I understand what you mean but after a while rejection becomes disheartening which becomes why bother! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
Yep. There’s 2 on here.
On the forums I mean not this thread. "I don't think 2 is an inordinately high number in any circumstance. Maybe you're one of their 2!! Ps... You know I think you're lovely. A warm, friendly lady with fabulous pins and a kind word for everyone. If they want to meet you, they've awesome taste | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes "I'm guessing by your profile text that you're a returning member on a new profile rather than being completely new to the site? The tone of your profile text is very confident for a newbie, while your comment and choice of emoji are somewhat contradictory. Has your confidence fluctuated since joining/re-joining? Do certain things improve your confidence? Ps... Nice pics, great bum and love the quirky socks! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Nope. I go for men whom I know are way more attractive than me(one of reasons I'm on here as it adds to the thrill) In real life I know none of them would give me a second glance but it never makes me feel not worthy. Its even on my profile that I will only meet very beautiful men. I can pull average, lard arses in the pub so why would I settle for that on here? The most attractive thing I think a person can be is confident. " That's wonderful that you've grabbed those opportunities! But how does that leave confident, average, lard arses?? Have you always felt this way or has your time and experiences here changed your attitudes?
Ps... I can't comment on your profile as its hidden and don't really know you from the forums, but you seem to know what you want! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much." Loads of guys are looking for a quick fuck, are you saying they deliberately target women who are less good looking or older than their normal type? I think most of us women are aware of that. What this thread is about if I understand correctly, is women choosing not to contact or reply to men because they feel they aren't as good as the women they've met previously or because they think the men are too good looking for them. Sticking to a perceived league won't prevent that. I think that certain men can spot low self esteem and will use false flattery to get a quick shag though. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting "This goes both ways. I’ve read some women’s veris and thought....oh I’ll save us all some time and not bother. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
This goes both ways. I’ve read some women’s veris and thought....oh I’ll save us all some time and not bother. "Dont need to get as far as the veris at times | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No I don't. I do sometimes notice that previous meets have been a lot younger than me and if he's contacted us or responded positively to our message I feel quite flattered. I honestly don't have enough energy to spare in comparing myself unfavourably to other people it just drags a person down." Do you think your attitude has changed over the years? Have you always felt this way, or do you think maturity has improved your confidence? Ps... Your photos are fabulous and your profile text shows that you have very clear preferences. I doubt there are many who won't find that attractive | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Nope. I go for men whom I know are way more attractive than me(one of reasons I'm on here as it adds to the thrill) In real life I know none of them would give me a second glance but it never makes me feel not worthy. Its even on my profile that I will only meet very beautiful men. I can pull average, lard arses in the pub so why would I settle for that on here? The most attractive thing I think a person can be is confident. That's wonderful that you've grabbed those opportunities! But how does that leave confident, average, lard arses?? Have you always felt this way or has your time and experiences here changed your attitudes?
Ps... I can't comment on your profile as its hidden and don't really know you from the forums, but you seem to know what you want! "Nope. My confidence has definitely grown with age. I have nothing against average looking guys. I just don't wish to meet them. My preference is for very beautiful,gym fit black men and I have been lucky enough to meet a few lovely ones on here | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I tend to stick with messaging women I would be attracted to in day to day life who are off a comparable attractiveness as myself...don't get me wrong there are some stunning ladies that I have on my holist that I would love to meet but I know I wouldn't have a chance so I don't bother messaging them" This is how I approach looking for single men. It’s worked well for me and keeps the occasional insecurity gremlins at bay. X | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I was married for 17yrs and for the most was told i was lucky he " took me on" so its always in my head am not good enough and probably why i have stayed single since i left him 11yrs ago i still dont feel good enough for anyone and why i find sites like this where i can meet men and they dont need to feel obligated to seeing me more than once "I'm really sorry to read that you've had this experience, and as I read your profile text before your comment, it explains a lot. But if you're looking for 1 regular partner, are you not setting yourself up to fail when you say men shouldn't feel obligated to meet you more than once? Ps... You've lovely photos, great curves and seem to be a really nice person.. Give yourself a break | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No I don't. I do sometimes notice that previous meets have been a lot younger than me and if he's contacted us or responded positively to our message I feel quite flattered. I honestly don't have enough energy to spare in comparing myself unfavourably to other people it just drags a person down. Do you think your attitude has changed over the years? Have you always felt this way, or do you think maturity has improved your confidence? Ps... Your photos are fabulous and your profile text shows that you have very clear preferences. I doubt there are many who won't find that attractive "My confidence has increased with age but I've never compared myself unfavourably with other people. It isn't confidence or arrogance I just don't. It might come from being the only girl in a family of four or a general acceptance that I'm me and can't be anyone else. It also helps that Mr N tells me I'm gorgeous on a regular basis. I'm realistic about myself and my abilities though. I'd never go on Question Time for instance because I don't know enough about politics or current affairs and would just look silly. I also know that 20 year old man isn't going to be genuinely interested in me as a person on fab
Thank you for your comments on our pictures and profile. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes I think that all of the time!" Has it gotten worse or better over time? Do you find Clubs easier because the 'what you see is what you get' factor dispels any doubts that might arise from just checking profiles? Ps.. Your profile is great by the way! I envy your lingerie collection | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"There was one guy who I thought was joking that he wanted to meet me as I’m the total opposite to the women he’s seen previously, a real hottie but in the end thought sod it im going to meet him so glad I did! " Well done on overcoming that doubt, and I'm delighted that it went to well! You may be an inspiration to some other ladies | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes I do very much so, there’s two men who I’ve admired for a while but looking at their recent veris I’m not in with a chance. X " Again I'm going to say 2 isn't an inordinately high number in the scheme of things. To say nobody and honestly believe it (which I don't think anyone really does) would be very narcissistic, regardless of gender. Even those few who have said no on this thread have quantified their response in some way. Ps... I've met you lots and know you to be a funny, bright, warm-hearted, lovely lady | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes, not even down to the veris I've looked at some hotties and thought no I don't stand a chance. One surprised me recently when he met me at a group social and I was a bit like what your interested in me? And now I'm looking forward to a meet up with him in a couple of weeks time. "Fantastic! Was it your first social outing? Would you recommend socials as a good way of meeting people who may potentially become playmates while skipping the awkward mail bit? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'll meet you all with no exception. Except you #youknowwhoyouare "Oh stop denying it... you know you'd meet me anyway.. Just for the hell of it! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"?" I don't think that's it really... Some may just need to be coaxed a little more than others. Attraction is attraction. You won't meet someone you don't really fancy, and if someone shows genuine interest and maintains regular contact, any doubts may be cast aside. Nobody settles | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Its not just women who do this, men are guilty of it too. I used to do it and then shy away from messaging someone if I liked them and thought they were 'too' hot. Then I took a chance one day and got lucky. As a result, I just think 'fuck it, in for a penny...' and all that- whats the worst that could happen, they say no or delete my message... and when that happens, I now think "they missed out" "Ladies... Listen to this man! Actually... Men listen too!
What he says applies to everyone | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good
enough!"Not all us guys go for the model type women some of us see more in a girl like her pretty eyes sweet smile and personality.. yes personality!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes I do this. I know its stupid, if they want to meet me who am I to say I'm not hot enough for them, but I can't help it! " Well from where I'm sitting looking at your pics you look lovely!! The shape women should be!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It’s really not a competition! When we’re with you, we’re with YOU! We’re not thinking of that lass we met last month or doing comparisons etc. Honestly. (We leave all that to you, to do about us! )"This one speaks true too.. When he's not talking absolute bobbins and insisting that lunch is dinner and dinner is tea, and such like! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep all the time "Noooo waaaY girl your HOT.. any guy should be lucky!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much." I wouldn't see it this way, but others might disagree with me. Thoughts anyone? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No, but I did once back off a younger man who'd met nothing but fit thirty-somethings, it's nice to know you are truly someone's type. "But what if he only met fit thirty somethings because everyone not in that category felt that way too and nobody else gave him a chance? Do we sometimes force a type on someone unintentionally? Ps... You're a rock of common sense wrapped in a very pretty package.. That one might be feeling pretty sad right now | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? I don't think that's it really... Some may just need to be coaxed a little more than others. Attraction is attraction. You won't meet someone you don't really fancy, and if someone shows genuine interest and maintains regular contact, any doubts may be cast aside. Nobody settles "May be but I think it's useful for people who endure self doubt, low self esteem or however we term it, to realise how it might make others feel. If I saw that someone on this thread had met a person that we had verified they would be saying by default that they applied the same low opinion to me that they do to themselves. I say this in the interests of discussion, nobody on here has met anyone we have I don't think | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think it's only natural to make comparisons, or take on an "out of my league" mindset, but ultimately if someone shows and interest, or you like them enough to have an interest in them, why shouldn't it work - a lot of the time it comes down to (false) perception anyway one that exists in only one place, your own head. Most of my interaction around the site tends to evolve from the forums, where I've got to know people a little and see how they interact generally, so the "out of my league" thing doesn't tend to enter my head. That said and to take it from another angle, I'm also aware of my own limitations and it's probably that, as much as people someone has met, that would hold me back." See... I can always rely on you to talk sense! But I disagree with the limitations bit. Being held back by someone's expressed preferences yes (that's just being respectful), but 'perceived' preferences shouldn't limit anyone. If someone hasn't said no, the possibility of yes always remains. The question just hasn't been asked. Damn!! I sounded deep there for a minute!
Ps... You're one of the loveliest people I've had the pleasure to meet and a great friend. Loves ya to bits G-man! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I didn't message people who I think are too hot for me then I wouldn't message anyone. If I get a reply then the vast majority my initial feeling is confirmed. Doesn't stop me from trying though. So ladies, I would say carpe diem. You are all gorgeous and special. Don't let anyone tell you or make you feel differently." Do you always assume 'not hot enough' if someone doesn't reply? What if they felt not hot enough for you!?! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes, I do look at verifications to see who a guy I fancy has met. And I used to think I would have no chance with them. But, actually, I have pretty much had sex with most of my "wish list". I need to get that confidence back and cross off a few more guys I desire "Yes you do!!
Do you think is the confidence/mojo thing cyclical? Do we all have periods of self doubt, whether they be brief moments or months long? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. I wouldn't see it this way, but others might disagree with me. Thoughts anyone? " There are a couple of very pretty girls on the forums who meet guys that I think are way below them in terms of attractiveness. But if that's what they prefer then good luck to them. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Nope. I go for men whom I know are way more attractive than me(one of reasons I'm on here as it adds to the thrill) In real life I know none of them would give me a second glance but it never makes me feel not worthy. Its even on my profile that I will only meet very beautiful men. I can pull average, lard arses in the pub so why would I settle for that on here? The most attractive thing I think a person can be is confident. " I like you | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I tend to stick with messaging women I would be attracted to in day to day life who are off a comparable attractiveness as myself...don't get me wrong there are some stunning ladies that I have on my holist that I would love to meet but I know I wouldn't have a chance so I don't bother messaging them" How does one define comparable attractiveness across the sexes? This is something I never understood. I can say 'this dress does not go with those shoes', but dresses and shoes are inanimate objects (however pretty), they don't have personality, charm, wit, intelligence, charisma, empathy... Souls. I think you're letting yourself down thinking that way | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what." With this , we all have moments of self doubt and maybe it is because I get the great opportunity of seeing you all in naughty pics - but to be quite honest I see all very sexy and head turning women who have a great confidence on here . I say be you always and don’t let that self doubt stop you , go for what you want and enjoy yourselves and bless those poor souls with your beauty . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No. I think most men who put up pics of them with women like to show off their best goods, but that doesn't mean they don't like something from the bargain basket either." Ouch!!! I know this was said in jest there's no bargain basket... 2 for 1 is a threesome not a clearout | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
Yip I definitely have "Do you think your ill-health may be affecting your mojo and confidence though (I've no idea what your illness is, but most of them make you feel pretty shitty)? Ps... That's a really lovely face pic | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I did before in all honesty because I thought there was no chance they would be interested - especially if all the veris were from beautiful, slender sorts and I was feeling particularly hippoish. Or the beautifully made up and presented. But now? I still second guess myself sometimes but fuck it, I'm bloody attractive in my own way and attractive men seem to like me and want to fuck me. So I'm happy with that. "I've noticed in general that those who have been on the site a bit longer seem to have come around to this way of thinking (myself included). Time and experience challenges attitudes and breaks down barriers. Being open to possibility brings its own happiness | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"That problem also of thinking he wont give me a glance also applies for guys so many very atractive women are gagging for cock and men for pussy think its about time as your nearly there by being on this site go for what you are gagging to have you will be surprised how fantastic it really is to enjoy once you have had your first you deff want more Guys are more vocal on this issue though. There are far more threads started by guys asking for advice, wondering why they don't get replies, and yes... even the negative ones ranting about women's sense of self-entitlement. Is it not refreshing to know that everyone has the same insecurities? I wonder how many mind-blowing Fab meets have never happened because both parties felt 'unworthy' of each other? I understand what you mean but after a while rejection becomes disheartening which becomes why bother!" We ALL have those moments... Days... Weeks... Months. Rejection, fear of it, and perceived reasons for it are things we are all guilty of at some point. Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith... Sometimes you may be someone else's leap of faith. Just don't be afraid to jump | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"My type is a connection...that connection might be looks, personality or just they’ve got me excited with their pics/chat. So what I find attractive will probably be different with each person I meet. " I think a lot of us can identify with that | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!"you look very attractive don't be silly get in there | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"No, never" Even as a younger woman or when you were starting out on the site? Have your own preferences changed? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I do this all the time. I am not a size 6, 8 or even a 10 and when I see these hot guys with supermodel looking women I wouldn't even want him to see me naked! " So it's almost like another filter? Ps... You've some fabulous photos and seem quite bubbly and chatty on the forums... I don't see why anyone wouldn't want to meet you | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes all the time. If i see stunning young thin women i wouldnt waste my time being rejected x" What if the guy is looking at you the same way? Think of the missed opportunity!! Ps... I've said it before. You've great pics and taste in lingerie. Your profile gives a clear sense of what you want. If someone expresses an interest, I'd think they were serious | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!"And if you ever want to meet a tall, skinny, older, blond... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
This goes both ways. I’ve read some women’s veris and thought....oh I’ll save us all some time and not bother. "You wouldn't be the first man to mention this. It's not uncommon to hear from men, but do you not find it interesting that so many women look at things this way too? Think of all the opportunities you may have missed! Ps... I've told you before, your pics are fabulous, and you're also really lovely to chat to. Give yourself a break | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. Loads of guys are looking for a quick fuck, are you saying they deliberately target women who are less good looking or older than their normal type? I think most of us women are aware of that. What this thread is about if I understand correctly, is women choosing not to contact or reply to men because they feel they aren't as good as the women they've met previously or because they think the men are too good looking for them. Sticking to a perceived league won't prevent that. I think that certain men can spot low self esteem and will use false flattery to get a quick shag though." Yeah when they can't get their preferred meet. I have been lucky to meet quite a few single women an this was the impression I got. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Looked at someone you fancy's veris, noticed they were all from absolutely drop dead gorgeous women, and thought 'ffs... Well he's never going to give me a second glance...', and let an opportunity pass you by? Inspired in part by another thread, in part by past experience, and also in part by conversations with a lovely female friend (a former member). It's Friday.. So let's keep it light, but interesting
This goes both ways. I’ve read some women’s veris and thought....oh I’ll save us all some time and not bother.
Dont need to get as far as the veris at times "What if a woman you had ruled out for these reasons was looking at your profile and thinking the same? If nobody makes the first move, the opportunity is lost! Ps... Told you when you were here before... Great pics and we had some really lovely and interesting chats, and you've a very quick wit on the forums. Take a chance and mail someone you'd ruled out | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I tend to stick with messaging women I would be attracted to in day to day life who are off a comparable attractiveness as myself...don't get me wrong there are some stunning ladies that I have on my holist that I would love to meet but I know I wouldn't have a chance so I don't bother messaging them This is how I approach looking for single men. It’s worked well for me and keeps the occasional insecurity gremlins at bay. X" Same reply to you... Maybe I need someone to give me the theorem that explains comparable attractiveness! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"This is one of the most upbeat posts and replies I've seen in a while. It seems like many of us reading this are hung up on our looks and confidence whether man or woman. But some good feedback by many. Being beautiful in your own way, and not knowing your worth and forgetting that confidence and quirkiness is sexy in its own way and remembering even hotties of both sexes see us differently than we see ourselves, so maybe we shouldn't pre-empt how they will view us. I feel maybe a few of us are missing out on some great meets, and ladies from what I see on your profiles if anyone does turn you down it's their loss, not yours. Op yours comments are kind and funny, love it "Thanks for your feedback does that mean that you shared this kind of outlook, and has reading the comments changed things for you? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I'd still go for it. Life is to short " Bravo lady! Fortune favours the brave. Have you been pleasantly surprised at times??
Ps... I don't mean that as in you should have any doubts. You shouldn't. Just interested to know if going for it anyway has worked out | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Oh and ps op you're not so bad yourself. This is a nice thread with interesting views" Thank you! As I mentioned in my OP, it was inspired by a combination of things, so I can't really take any credit, and it's the views of everyone who has participated that has kept it interesting.. Yours included! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Fascinating thread. I fall outside many lovely lady's age range, and have a face well suited to radio. But I have met a number of people who have been great fun and great company. The biggest sex organ is the brain. Excite that, and looks are less important. As in the song, 'High hopes, he's got high hopes...' "Oh no... I've that stuck in my head now!! Glad that you're enjoying your Fab journey | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
Thanks OP x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Definitely my own worst enemy for blocking meeting. I find it hard to believe most guys aren't from the 'any holes a goal' school of thought and if I don't feel they really fancy me I can't let go and enjoy things " Self cock-blocking! You heard it here first folks!
What would it take for someone to convince you?? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
" All the time even put bit in profile" Does this ever change? Do you find you go through cycles of feeling the 'meh', and then feel more self-assured at other times? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Well it has to be said no I'm no oil painting but this doesnt stop me seeing beauty and looking through some of you gorgeous girl who have posted in here OMG ladies you could have who you want.. if not their loss!!" Have you been surprised by the comments? Do you wonder if someone ever overlooked you for any of the reasons women have mentioned? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of you ladies are really unnecessarily down on yourselves. Plonkers...." Ah... but look at all the positive comments they get in return. Now who's the plonkers? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? I don't think that's it really... Some may just need to be coaxed a little more than others. Attraction is attraction. You won't meet someone you don't really fancy, and if someone shows genuine interest and maintains regular contact, any doubts may be cast aside. Nobody settles
May be but I think it's useful for people who endure self doubt, low self esteem or however we term it, to realise how it might make others feel.
If I saw that someone on this thread had met a person that we had verified they would be saying by default that they applied the same low opinion to me that they do to themselves.
I say this in the interests of discussion, nobody on here has met anyone we have I don't think "Would you not also consider the possibility that perhaps they are delighted that someone who met you also met them? It works both ways. As I said. Attraction is attraction. Would you meet someone you weren't attracted to? Ergo, if you've met someone, you found them attractive! Everyone has their own subtle and unique blend of qualities that makes them attractive to someone else. No 2 people are exactly the same. I'm hoping everyone will take something positive away from this thread | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I don't really pay much attention to veris. I figure if someone is talking to me then they like me. Maybe it's different if you're doing the approaching though? I guess if he's met girls that are more in your face sexy I might think I'd be too tame for him. " I really only used veris as an example to highlight perceptions. And yes, I'd say doing the approaching could be quite nerve-wracking as most women haven't tried it. Ps... I can't imagine anyone thinking you're tame | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. I wouldn't see it this way, but others might disagree with me. Thoughts anyone? There are a couple of very pretty girls on the forums who meet guys that I think are way below them in terms of attractiveness. But if that's what they prefer then good luck to them. " That's because you're looking at people with your ideals of attraction and not theirs. I don't think anyone is universally attractive. Even threads about film stars on here can't agree on who is hot or not | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Good god ladies....... Can we stop beating ourselves up... We are all good enough, we are all beautiful in our own way, we all have a fire that burns within. If we think we're not ok, you're giving license for someone else to think you're not good enough. Trust we, we are all good enough!... No matter what. With this , we all have moments of self doubt and maybe it is because I get the great opportunity of seeing you all in naughty pics - but to be quite honest I see all very sexy and head turning women who have a great confidence on here . I say be you always and don’t let that self doubt stop you , go for what you want and enjoy yourselves and bless those poor souls with your beauty . " Thanks for the feedback! Have you been surprised by what you've read here? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Never had that thought. Yes there are loads more attractive, younger, fitter whatever... but that doesn't make me any less attractive. I actually am put off if they've met a lot of what I regard as less attractive women. " As I said to a previous poster, you can't apply your ideals of attraction to someone else, as we all have different things that make someone attractive to us. Your own attraction to someone is the one that counts. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"jeeezzzzzz you lot "Are you OK Pat? Is this all getting to be a bit much for you? what's your take on it? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep!
In particular there’s two hot as fuck men...not my ‘usual’ type but beautiful men
Who both usually meet tall, skinny older blondes.
And I’m the opposite.
They still insist they wanna meet. But I feel like I’m not good enough!
And if you ever want to meet a tall, skinny, older, blond... "
Actually that's given me an idea... If anyone has spotted someone on this thread that they've been too shy to contact, give them a nudge!
Obviously respect stated preferences, but if your initial reticence was as a result of misguided perceptions, you might be pleasantly surprised! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"It's not even veris from other women, if I have an inkling that they want anything more than boring vanilla sex then I wonder how I could even begin to satisfy them!" Well as I mentioned to someone else, I used veris as an example really. I can see where you're coming from and this is often how people end up with profile text of biblical proportions
When someone has a particular kink or fetish. Don't assume they want to explore that with everyone they meet, unless their profile specifically says it. I had to re-hash my profile so many times to get this across as so many people assumed that all I was interested in was bondage (or, because of lack of understanding of the difference, into S&M). Its just another way that we self cock-block because of perceptions. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I didn't message people who I think are too hot for me then I wouldn't message anyone. If I get a reply then the vast majority my initial feeling is confirmed. Doesn't stop me from trying though. So ladies, I would say carpe diem. You are all gorgeous and special. Don't let anyone tell you or make you feel differently. Do you always assume 'not hot enough' if someone doesn't reply? What if they felt not hot enough for you!?! "I tried to pm. This as I didn't want it to seem like a cry for sympathy or whatever. Anyway. It's not an assumption. They tell me in the message they send. Not always in those words and some more politely than others. Maybe it's insecurity, maybe it's an unhealthy dose of realism but I haven't come across anyone who would say I am too hot for them. I am what I am. Like me or loath me. I am. Comfortable with all of it. Xxx great thread BTW. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yeap and also been put off by seeing certain people's veris " Because you feel less attractive or something else? Ps... No idea why you would think you're less attractive than anyone else... You're a bright, bubbly, lady as far as I can tell, with some fabulous pics | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Nope "Ever??? Never had the teeniest moment?? Are you proactive in contacting men you find attractive for example or will you wait and hope he contacts you? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. Loads of guys are looking for a quick fuck, are you saying they deliberately target women who are less good looking or older than their normal type? I think most of us women are aware of that. What this thread is about if I understand correctly, is women choosing not to contact or reply to men because they feel they aren't as good as the women they've met previously or because they think the men are too good looking for them. Sticking to a perceived league won't prevent that. I think that certain men can spot low self esteem and will use false flattery to get a quick shag though. Yeah when they can't get their preferred meet. I have been lucky to meet quite a few single women an this was the impression I got." To clarify. Do you mean that you felt you were their second choice or do you mean anecdotally? Ps... I don't by any means mean to imply that you would be anyone's second choice... Just wondered if you felt you were | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I've definitely felt this (still do, to be honest) but have been chuffed to bits when hot men reassure me that they do find me sexy and do want to meet. When that happens, I feel like a princess and an imposter simultaneously. " So you do give them the opportunity to overcome the barriers you've put around yourself? Well done lady! That's a really good step in the right direction
Ps... You're not an impostor | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? No they want to stay in their own league so they aren't used and abused like stepping stones. Some guys are just looking for a quick fuck a lot of single women want more than that. For couples it wouldn't matter as much. Loads of guys are looking for a quick fuck, are you saying they deliberately target women who are less good looking or older than their normal type? I think most of us women are aware of that. What this thread is about if I understand correctly, is women choosing not to contact or reply to men because they feel they aren't as good as the women they've met previously or because they think the men are too good looking for them. Sticking to a perceived league won't prevent that. I think that certain men can spot low self esteem and will use false flattery to get a quick shag though. Yeah when they can't get their preferred meet. I have been lucky to meet quite a few single women an this was the impression I got. To clarify. Do you mean that you felt you were their second choice or do you mean anecdotally? Ps... I don't by any means mean to imply that you would be anyone's second choice... Just wondered if you felt you were "Anecdotally, well I hope so haha. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yes I have then messaged anyway and I have learned to stop doubting myself "Bravo lady!! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"If I understand this correctly a lot of women will only meet men who they feel aren't as attractive as some others. That must make their previous meets feel a bit insulted. Aren't they saying "I don't feel good enough for the really good-looking men so you'll do"? I don't think that's it really... Some may just need to be coaxed a little more than others. Attraction is attraction. You won't meet someone you don't really fancy, and if someone shows genuine interest and maintains regular contact, any doubts may be cast aside. Nobody settles
May be but I think it's useful for people who endure self doubt, low self esteem or however we term it, to realise how it might make others feel.
If I saw that someone on this thread had met a person that we had verified they would be saying by default that they applied the same low opinion to me that they do to themselves.
I say this in the interests of discussion, nobody on here has met anyone we have I don't think
Would you not also consider the possibility that perhaps they are delighted that someone who met you also met them? It works both ways.
As I said. Attraction is attraction. Would you meet someone you weren't attracted to? Ergo, if you've met someone, you found them attractive! Everyone has their own subtle and unique blend of qualities that makes them attractive to someone else. No 2 people are exactly the same.
I'm hoping everyone will take something positive away from this thread "no I wouldn't consider that because what I take from this thread is that some people feel they're at a certain level and wont meet unless they feel all previous meets were at that level.. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Loved this thread.. really enlightening! Think I'm going to give myself a talking to
Thanks OP x"Glad you've enjoyed it. So have I. Its been really enlightening in so many ways thanks to you and everyone else who commented | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of you ladies are really unnecessarily down on yourselves. Plonkers.... Ah... but look at all the positive comments they get in return. Now who's the plonkers? "I see the pattern though... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Never had that thought. Yes there are loads more attractive, younger, fitter whatever... but that doesn't make me any less attractive. I actually am put off if they've met a lot of what I regard as less attractive women. As I said to a previous poster, you can't apply your ideals of attraction to someone else, as we all have different things that make someone attractive to us. Your own attraction to someone is the one that counts. "Who says I can't? If I feel that someone will meet just anyone and that puts me off, why can't I apply my own standards? Yes it's my attraction to someone that counts, but if I get an inkling that they are just settling then I'm perfectly within my rights to be put off. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Yep" Has anything mentioned by other posters resonated in particular? Has anything anyone said made you reconsider your views? Ps.. You've lovely pics and a very witty profile. I hope you haven't let some great opportunities pass you by | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I am not a lady (just in case my hairy torso made you think otherwise), but I experience this feeling all the time. " totally with you on this one | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
It could say, attracted to J3nny, yes you idiot! And I still wouldn't think it was me. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of you ladies are really unnecessarily down on yourselves. Plonkers...." Are you surprised by what you've read? Did any of it resonate with you personally? Why plonkers? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
| |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of you ladies are really unnecessarily down on yourselves. Plonkers.... Ah... but look at all the positive comments they get in return. Now who's the plonkers?
I see the pattern though..."Ah shite would I have got some nice profile comments if I'd been hard on myself? Messed that one up. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I've definitely felt this (still do, to be honest) but have been chuffed to bits when hot men reassure me that they do find me sexy and do want to meet. When that happens, I feel like a princess and an imposter simultaneously. So you do give them the opportunity to overcome the barriers you've put around yourself? Well done lady! That's a really good step in the right direction
Ps... You're not an impostor "And each one of them has showered me with compliments and made me feel wonderful. If only that feeling lasted longer than the meet.... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of you ladies are really unnecessarily down on yourselves. Plonkers.... Ah... but look at all the positive comments they get in return. Now who's the plonkers? "Does it bother you that people have said nice or positive things? Do you not, yourself, enjoy positivity or seek it as a desirable quality in others? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
