FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Just seen my best mates wife on here
Just seen my best mates wife on here
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
I would not intrude. Did she posted her face pictures? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right. Definitely not your business "
Oh your best friend?? Oh I’m not sure then. I’m on the fence with this one. If it was my best friends husband I think I’d speak to him. Only if it was her though, anyone else I’d stay out of their business. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I haven't spoken to her, in fact I blocked her as soon as I saw her face pic, as heaven forbid she contacted me! Lol...I'm getting the gist I'm morally in the right not saying anything lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right. Definitely not your business
Oh your best friend?? Oh I’m not sure then. I’m on the fence with this one. If it was my best friends husband I think I’d speak to him. Only if it was her though, anyone else I’d stay out of their business. "
 |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
What does her profile say? He might know already.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I haven't spoken to her, in fact I blocked her as soon as I saw her face pic, as heaven forbid she contacted me! Lol...I'm getting the gist I'm morally in the right not saying anything lol"
If your friend found out and she said that you knew then you could lose a friendship. Good for blocking but it it was my best friends husband then not sure I could not get involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your fucked whatever you do. Tell him she's on her and as so many of said it wasn't your business. Don;t tell him? Well if he finds out she's on here and that you knew and didn't tell him he's unlikely to value your discrtetion and be pissed you never told him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So assuming this is legit, then I’m guessing she’s not being discreet about her identify if you’ve been able to identify her so easily.
So either she wants to be recognised or is playing with permission.
But to answer the question I guess it would depend on how close a friend he is. A real lifelong bestie I’d tell immediately (bro’s before hoe’s after all  ) but anyone else I’d have a good perve of her pics first (come on, who wouldn’t!?) before blocking and leaving her personal business to her. |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
How do you know he's oblivious, how do you know it's not someone else using her images?
Not you circus, not your monkeys. You're not morally right or wrong you have no idea what goes on in their relationship. |
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I actually would have messaged them and say hi I'm here and I see you're here, what's the story?
This leaves them with the option to tell you they are there with permission or they either block you or delete profile, If they do either of the last 2 then if it's your best friend and they already know you're on here then grab a drink with them and say ..."hey, small world... But!!"
But only if the very best of friends, otherwise it's not your business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people feel the need to interfere in other's lives? Leave them be. You don't ever know what really goes on in someone else's relationship. It's their issue/ non issue. You have no idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to interfere in other's lives? Leave them be. You don't ever know what really goes on in someone else's relationship. It's their issue/ non issue. You have no idea. "
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x"
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in? |
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"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on. "
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. "
If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
Right
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"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile."
How is that incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?"
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x"
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything? |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile.
How is that incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating?"
If she is on here without his consent I would say that is pretty good evidence. Especially if she is verified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?"
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
I'd tell my friend and the reason why is simple if that was my husband fucking around then I would hope my friend would tell me.
You know so you can't now unknow it!
So when your friend finds out and talks to you about it. You will have to lie or tell him that you were aware.
If that was your wife would you what your friend to tell you?
Not a nice situation to be in to be honest.
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
Tell him immediately. No brainer.
Imagine how he’d feel if he found out you’d known but hadn’t revealed it to him?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x"
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good? |
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"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile.
How is that incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating? If she is on here without his consent I would say that is pretty good evidence. Especially if she is verified."
But that isn't what the op said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
Tell him immediately. No brainer.
Imagine how he’d feel if he found out you’d known but hadn’t revealed it to him?! "
This. If they found out any way you've to sit and be shocked like you don't know. Not a chance in hell that's happening x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?"
No I would feel sick. And it does benefit her. She would know the truth and then she can make her own mind up what she wants to do. I know this....my pal would thank me for telling her and so would I if the roles were reversed x |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile.
How is that incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating? If she is on here without his consent I would say that is pretty good evidence. Especially if she is verified.
But that isn't what the op said. "
Yeah he hasn't been that clear, we don't know the full circumstances. But a screenshot of a verified profile with face pics would definitely be incontrovertible!. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
How do you know he doesn't know |
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"Bros before hoes. I'd say tell your mate. But quietly.
On one hand maybe his missus is really cheating on him, and you e been a good friend by not just playing dumb and ignorant whilst you know your friend's wife is cheating on him with incontrovertible evidence. On the other hand if she's playing with his permission, then you risk nothing by clearing the air with your mate and making sure it's really alright with him, after which whether you choose to play with his wife or keep a wide berth is still open to you.
Speaking from personal experience I'd be angrier at a friend hiding my partner's cheating than coming up to tell me about seeing her on the same swinging site he plays on.
He doesn't have incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating. If she has face pics he could easily screenshot the profile.
How is that incontrovertible evidence that she's cheating? If she is on here without his consent I would say that is pretty good evidence. Especially if she is verified.
But that isn't what the op said. Yeah he hasn't been that clear, we don't know the full circumstances. But a screenshot of a verified profile with face pics would definitely be incontrovertible!."
Exactly, we don't know the full circumstances. |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?"
You seriously mean to say if you discovered the partner of a friend of yours was playing away behind their back you wouldn’t tell your friend they were being betrayed??
Some friend you are.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?
No I would feel sick. And it does benefit her. She would know the truth and then she can make her own mind up what she wants to do. I know this....my pal would thank me for telling her and so would I if the roles were reversed x"
How do you know she doesn't already know? They've come to an agreement. She doesn't want to talk about it? You never truly know people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about he approaches her and gives her a chance to fill him in. If she is cheating then he can give her a chance to own up herself or he will tell his friend. If she isnt cheating and her husband (your friend) is aware of her shenanigans ( ) then he should have given you the heads up knowing that you are on here so you weren't in this predicament. There you go. You're welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?
You seriously mean to say if you discovered the partner of a friend of yours was playing away behind their back you wouldn’t tell your friend they were being betrayed??
Some friend you are. "
Not my business. Especially without any facts. I'm basing my answers on the op scenario. Thanks for your judgement. |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?
No I would feel sick. And it does benefit her. She would know the truth and then she can make her own mind up what she wants to do. I know this....my pal would thank me for telling her and so would I if the roles were reversed x
How do you know she doesn't already know? They've come to an agreement. She doesn't want to talk about it? You never truly know people. "
Try and get him joined up too.. he may as well have some of the cake also  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd tell my friend and the reason why is simple if that was my husband fucking around then I would hope my friend would tell me.
You know so you can't now unknow it!
So when your friend finds out and talks to you about it. You will have to lie or tell him that you were aware.
If that was your wife would you what your friend to tell you?
Not a nice situation to be in to be honest.
"
I personally think he should stay out of it nothing good comes from being a clipe as they say in Scotland, if wife and hubby make it up mate becomes ex mate |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"Actually thinking about it if it was me and someone told me I'd be thrilled and be thinking about all the fun we could have together. High fives all round."
You could change your name to Lucky Lick |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?
You seriously mean to say if you discovered the partner of a friend of yours was playing away behind their back you wouldn’t tell your friend they were being betrayed??
Some friend you are.
Not my business. Especially without any facts. I'm basing my answers on the op scenario. Thanks for your judgement. "
Sorry but that doesn’t sit well with me, and yes I will judge.
If I had an inkling that a mate’s other half was doing the dirty I’d tell my friend about my suspiscions. I wouldn’t even hesitate!
If those suspiscions proved unfounded then all well and good, but they’d still thank me for looking out for their best interests. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?
Me cos she'll kick my arse if I didn't tell her x
As I thought. It doesn't benefit her. And how will she possibly find out you know anything? It's extremely unlikely. Does it make you feel good?
No I would feel sick. And it does benefit her. She would know the truth and then she can make her own mind up what she wants to do. I know this....my pal would thank me for telling her and so would I if the roles were reversed x
How do you know she doesn't already know? They've come to an agreement. She doesn't want to talk about it? You never truly know people. "
I know my best mate. I see it. I tell her. The details are irrelevant x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How did you come across her? (pun not intended). If you’ve got in touch with her and she knows it’s you then if you don’t tell your friend she can say to your friend, well he knew about it and tried to approach me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I would speak to her.
And if I was her I'd block him/ Ignore him/ tell him to mind his own business. He knows nothing. "
Then I'd be talking to my friend if he really was his best mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?"
He is, he gets to make a decision on continuing or not his relationship and not wasting more time with a cheat if he doesn't.
And that is assuming real best friends, mine has no secrets from me and vice Versa so if her boyfriend was on fabs with her knowledge I would know too. |
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"Personally I would speak to her.
And if I was her I'd block him/ Ignore him/ tell him to mind his own business. He knows nothing.
Then I'd be talking to my friend if he really was his best mate. "
Yep. This thread has about as much credibility as the “wanking in the woods” thread.
I’ve wasted my time replying to both.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dose she know ur on here because your pall dose as you said ....
Drop it to him ......
Subtle tho ....
Say there a few married women on here, what/how would you feel if it was your miss
Might be waiting for you to fire a few messages at her .......
Easier way for ur pall an his miss telling u they a 3 some, probably been hinting for years ?
Ahahahahah
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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago
'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks |
"Dose she know ur on here because your pall dose as you said ....
Drop it to him ......
Subtle tho ....
Say there a few married women on here, what/how would you feel if it was your miss
Might be waiting for you to fire a few messages at her .......
Easier way for ur pall an his miss telling u they a 3 some, probably been hinting for years ?
Ahahahahah
"
...or it could be his mate testing the boundaries of their friendship to see if he would tell or not... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a woman say nothing because it's ok and really hot for women to cheat. 
If it's a man tell everyone you know because men that cheat are evil evil evil.  |
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"Why do people feel the need to interfere in other's lives? Leave them be. You don't ever know what really goes on in someone else's relationship. It's their issue/ non issue. You have no idea. "
While he’s not part of their relationship, he’s very much part of their lives. Or of his best friend’s at least.
Very tricky moral conundrum and what to do would depend on the nature of the friends’ relationship.
Anonymously sending him a link to her profile wouldn’t work if he knows you’re on here. Too obvious. |
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"Right. Definitely not your business
Oh your best friend?? Oh I’m not sure then. I’m on the fence with this one. If it was my best friends husband I think I’d speak to him. Only if it was her though, anyone else I’d stay out of their business. "
No one knows what goes on behind closed doors so I'd mind my own business. |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
How do you know he's oblivious, how do you know it's not someone else using her images?
Not you circus, not your monkeys. You're not morally right or wrong you have no idea what goes on in their relationship."
This always for me! |
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"I actually would have messaged them and say hi I'm here and I see you're here, what's the story?
This leaves them with the option to tell you they are there with permission or they either block you or delete profile, If they do either of the last 2 then if it's your best friend and they already know you're on here then grab a drink with them and say ..."hey, small world... But!!"
But only if the very best of friends, otherwise it's not your business"
...and who made you boss?!! I'd be fucking furious if someone asked me to justify my actions. |
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"Why do people feel the need to interfere in other's lives? Leave them be. You don't ever know what really goes on in someone else's relationship. It's their issue/ non issue. You have no idea. "
I was beginning to think I was alone in my thoughts. |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x"
Think you'll find even if you told her you'd lose the friendship. Couples generally close ranks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow, after reading all the posts, and what seems a split in concensus I would alienate half of the membership whichever decision I take. Therefore I must thank you all for your comments and feedback. As her profile is unverified I will at this stage not progress things further as there could be so many scenarios being played out so she is blocked and forgotten about, I will have a separate mates convo on what's happening in his relationship like we sometimes do and see if he's still happy, and to those who have asked if i now fantasise about her? Omg in any other circumstance I would but I can't look at her like that, she's my mates wife, and a friend,...that has absolute disaster written all over it.
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
. Sorry mate you are in a no win situation.There is a saying If in doubt stay out.
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"Wow, after reading all the posts, and what seems a split in concensus I would alienate half of the membership whichever decision I take. Therefore I must thank you all for your comments and feedback. As her profile is unverified I will at this stage not progress things further as there could be so many scenarios being played out so she is blocked and forgotten about, I will have a separate mates convo on what's happening in his relationship like we sometimes do and see if he's still happy, and to those who have asked if i now fantasise about her? Omg in any other circumstance I would but I can't look at her like that, she's my mates wife, and a friend,...that has absolute disaster written all over it.
"
You wouldn't alienate anyone if you kept your personal life personal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So your mates wife is cheating on him and everyone is saying don’t tell him.
Some mate you are if you don’t tell him. If it was a female situation they wouldn’t hesitate we all know that’s true. |
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"Wow, after reading all the posts, and what seems a split in concensus I would alienate half of the membership whichever decision I take. Therefore I must thank you all for your comments and feedback. As her profile is unverified I will at this stage not progress things further as there could be so many scenarios being played out so she is blocked and forgotten about, I will have a separate mates convo on what's happening in his relationship like we sometimes do and see if he's still happy, and to those who have asked if i now fantasise about her? Omg in any other circumstance I would but I can't look at her like that, she's my mates wife, and a friend,...that has absolute disaster written all over it.
"
But why is the state of THEIR relationship your business?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So your mates wife is cheating on him and everyone is saying don’t tell him.
Some mate you are if you don’t tell him. If it was a female situation they wouldn’t hesitate we all know that’s true. "
Because fab is not to be confused with real life
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
Think you'll find even if you told her you'd lose the friendship. Couples generally close ranks."
Thankfully I know that would never happen x |
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"So your mates wife is cheating on him and everyone is saying don’t tell him.
Some mate you are if you don’t tell him. If it was a female situation they wouldn’t hesitate we all know that’s true. "
We DON'T know the circumstances of their relationship. As she has face pics up I daresay she has nothing to hide. I'm not married, retired, met my other half here and neither of us would have face pics up!
We also have no way of knowing what their relationship is. |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???"
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you? |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you?"
You don’t get it, he’s in an imposdible situation, this is his best friend, sorry but I stand by what I said, confront her |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
Think you'll find even if you told her you'd lose the friendship. Couples generally close ranks.
Thankfully I know that would never happen x"
Actually, you have no way of knowing that.
You're not keeping them warm at night. Some people will overlook their other halfs indiscretion so as not to upset the status quo and drop the friend.
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Maybe he checked the site out when you mentioned it to him,told his Mrs you were on here,they both checked it out together and set her up a profile in the hope you would see it which you have.
Maybe it's their way of saying they want a threesome. What did her profile say?
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you?
You don’t get it, he’s in an imposdible situation, this is his best friend, sorry but I stand by what I said, confront her"
I do get it. I just don't see why I'd expect anyone to justify their actions to me. |
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"The other consideration was its someone using her images as there are face pics!"
This happens and has happened to me before! But the answer here is simple. You've already said your friend knows you use this site, so you're not too worried yourself about friends knowing you're on here.... Next time you see his wife, just quietly tell her you've seen her face pic on here. Don't elaborate or assume. Just tell her you've seen it, and let her decide what to do after that.
If it's not her, she can ask for your help in getting the pics removed.. If it is her, she might just feign ignorance and then delete her account later, or she might come clean and admit its her and tell you if it's with or without permission. At least then you can make an informed decision  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
Think you'll find even if you told her you'd lose the friendship. Couples generally close ranks.
Thankfully I know that would never happen x
Actually, you have no way of knowing that.
You're not keeping them warm at night. Some people will overlook their other halfs indiscretion so as not to upset the status quo and drop the friend.
"
I've been best mates with her since I was 12. I'm not going anywhere x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you?
You don’t get it, he’s in an imposdible situation, this is his best friend, sorry but I stand by what I said, confront her
I do get it. I just don't see why I'd expect anyone to justify their actions to me. "
I guess you don't have a best friend. My best friend is like my sister, and there is zero doubt she would expect me to help out in her relationship and any other aspect of her life, as she would in mine. Otherwise I'm just an acquaintance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How loyal and close is your friendship? What would be right or wrong? You’re caught between a rock and a very hard place Op and you have our sympathy’s. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to interfere in other's lives? Leave them be. You don't ever know what really goes on in someone else's relationship. It's their issue/ non issue. You have no idea. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The other consideration was its someone using her images as there are face pics!"
For a best friend, I would use this opening to tell her in front of him
For an acquaintance I would block and ignore. |
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you?
You don’t get it, he’s in an imposdible situation, this is his best friend, sorry but I stand by what I said, confront her
I do get it. I just don't see why I'd expect anyone to justify their actions to me. "
So, if you discover you’re best friend is being cheated on, you’re not going to pass that knowledge on to them?
Your view of friendship is very different to mine.
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong??
I have read all the responses,
1) he knows you’re on here
2) she has a face pic on here
So the issue here is if he doesn’t know then finds out, he’s going to say something to you, purely based on the facts above, he’s going to suspect you’re involved somehow. May even suspect you’ve been fucking her...
If you tell him, he may already know. If he doesn’t it will devistate him and their marriage, but it still the moral thing to do.
But.....
I would confront her about it, tell her you know and what the fucks going on???
Again...What gives you the right to ask another adult to justify their actions to you?
You don’t get it, he’s in an imposdible situation, this is his best friend, sorry but I stand by what I said, confront her
I do get it. I just don't see why I'd expect anyone to justify their actions to me.
I guess you don't have a best friend. My best friend is like my sister, and there is zero doubt she would expect me to help out in her relationship and any other aspect of her life, as she would in mine. Otherwise I'm just an acquaintance. "
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Is being pious really worth the fallout? Do they have children and an otherwise happy family life? Is he the perfect partner to her?
A former friend of mine years beat the shit out of his girlfriend and threw her down stairs after someone told him about an indiscretion she'd had, is your friend the type to react like that?
Sometimes it's better to say nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She put her face pic on here for all to see....how do you not know her hubby is not fine with this scenario.....ask him..if not then he needs to know if he is your best mate..but of course that depends on if this story is true and not just a look at me forum post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would a married female without her partners knowledge put face pics on her profile ?
She would have to be extremely naive or just plain reckless to do so.
If her partner is aware do you think he would allow her face to be shown on here ?
This just doesn't ring true to me but nothing surprises me much these days. |
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From the forum rules:
Dirty laundry
The forums aren't for airing your dirty laundry in public. If you've got a problem with another site user, please block them and/or report to admin via the report link on their profile.
Surely this entire thread is about another site user, therefore "dirty laundry"? Whether named or not? |
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I find it quite interesting that we have threads almost daily complaining about fake profiles i.e. profiles set up by men pretending to be women or people using other people's photos but a lot of people are happy to assume that this woman is actually the one behind this profile. Furthermore they would be superior to me morally because in the name of friendship, they're prepared without actual concrete evidence, to tell someone's partner that their wife is cheating on them. On the face of what little evidence we have this is the ops best friends wife but we all know "the internet" is all smoke and mirrors and what we see on profiles is very often not what is really happening.
I'd say the same if this was someone who had seen their friends husband however two people have mentioned that awful phrase "bros before hoes" so I guess not everyone feels that way.
There's more than one way to be a good friend, sometimes its necessary to stand back and consider what's the best course of action for your friends well being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it quite interesting that we have threads almost daily complaining about fake profiles i.e. profiles set up by men pretending to be women or people using other people's photos but a lot of people are happy to assume that this woman is actually the one behind this profile. Furthermore they would be superior to me morally because in the name of friendship, they're prepared without actual concrete evidence, to tell someone's partner that their wife is cheating on them. On the face of what little evidence we have this is the ops best friends wife but we all know "the internet" is all smoke and mirrors and what we see on profiles is very often not what is really happening.
I'd say the same if this was someone who had seen their friends husband however two people have mentioned that awful phrase "bros before hoes" so I guess not everyone feels that way.
There's more than one way to be a good friend, sometimes its necessary to stand back and consider what's the best course of action for your friends well being."
Very good point |
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
Think you'll find even if you told her you'd lose the friendship. Couples generally close ranks.
Thankfully I know that would never happen x
Actually, you have no way of knowing that.
You're not keeping them warm at night. Some people will overlook their other halfs indiscretion so as not to upset the status quo and drop the friend.
I've been best mates with her since I was 12. I'm not going anywhere x"
No...but she might. |
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"I find it quite interesting that we have threads almost daily complaining about fake profiles i.e. profiles set up by men pretending to be women or people using other people's photos but a lot of people are happy to assume that this woman is actually the one behind this profile. Furthermore they would be superior to me morally because in the name of friendship, they're prepared without actual concrete evidence, to tell someone's partner that their wife is cheating on them. On the face of what little evidence we have this is the ops best friends wife but we all know "the internet" is all smoke and mirrors and what we see on profiles is very often not what is really happening.
I'd say the same if this was someone who had seen their friends husband however two people have mentioned that awful phrase "bros before hoes" so I guess not everyone feels that way.
There's more than one way to be a good friend, sometimes its necessary to stand back and consider what's the best course of action for your friends well being."
My point exactly!
It amazes me these so called friends, without any corroborating conclusive evidence are prepared to throw a potential grenade into their friends lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I saw my best mates husband on here I would have messaged her with 5 seconds. I would expect the same. Some people have a weird idea of what a best mate is x
Who benefits from you sticking your beak in?
If my pal found out I knew and didn't tell her she would hit the roof. We tell each other everything. I thought that what best mates do x
That doesn't answer my question. Who is better off if you say anything?"
Who is better off not saying anything? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well personally my best friend is closer than any of my family so I'd be telling if I saw her fella on here
Literally any other person in the world I'd keep out of it but not her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t imagine a lady putting her face picture on her profile and not wanting to be found out. Either her husband knows about this or this is just a made up scenario. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
He might be really upset that you've found out his wife has to come on here to fulfil her sexual needs because he can't.
So many scenarios. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. It really is none of your business. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my friend knows I'm on this site but he is oblivious to the fact that his wife is! I would never tell because it's not my business to intrude...right or wrong?? "
Hit her............................. with the best chat up line you got! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck her. 
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(How many spotted the double meaning of that?)
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 "
What ever meaning, his head jumps to first he should do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If this isn’t jackanory....why the hell are they together if they are sneaking around? Well she couldn’t care much to be discreet if you recognised her. |
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