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Stop falling for a fuck buddy
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " Only meet idiots, then you won’t fall for them. This thread has got my name all over it  | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. " My long term partner told me he loved me and nothing changed between us except the sex became more intimate and sensual. | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. My long term partner told me he loved me and nothing changed between us except the sex became more intimate and sensual. " But did you fall in love? | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " I did a few years ago and so did he but we both knew it could never materialise into anything else so it wasn’t really an issue. Actually made it better to be honest. As long as you can handle it it needn’t be a problem. | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. My long term partner told me he loved me and nothing changed between us except the sex became more intimate and sensual. But did you fall in love? " I'm not capable of loving any more. | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " More the point why wouldn't they fall for you!  | |||
"There's nothing that can stop you feeling any emotion. It's part of our human make-up. Surely seeing someone "regularly" will always generate some feelings. Why is that a bad thing after all its what many on here describe as "chemistry". What you decide to do with or about those feelings only you can decide. But I often wonder why so many here claim to be so scared of emotions. It's not like they can be turned on and off like a tap. They exist, part of what makes us complete as a person " Exactly this | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. " I dont understand this. If you feel something for someone why not move the relationship into something more. Why stop it? | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " If you have feelings how can you stop that happening, it's impossible in my opinion | |||
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"Have someone in between meets maybe" Christ another...I cant find one help  having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..  | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. I dont understand this. If you feel something for someone why not move the relationship into something more. Why stop it?" In my situation my FB was married. She had full consent from her husband to see me but we didn’t expect to fall for each other. It was a hard time but it had to end. | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. I dont understand this. If you feel something for someone why not move the relationship into something more. Why stop it? In my situation my FB was married. She had full consent from her husband to see me but we didn’t expect to fall for each other. It was a hard time but it had to end. " | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. "Haha yep. One would be good!! | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. I dont understand this. If you feel something for someone why not move the relationship into something more. Why stop it? In my situation my FB was married. She had full consent from her husband to see me but we didn’t expect to fall for each other. It was a hard time but it had to end. "It requires real discipline and a clear separation. A Fab life and a real life. You can’t afford to relax your focus. | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. "communication is the key | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. communication is the key"Yeah, like don't come back | |||
"There's nothing that can stop you feeling any emotion. It's part of our human make-up. Surely seeing someone "regularly" will always generate some feelings. Why is that a bad thing after all its what many on here describe as "chemistry". What you decide to do with or about those feelings only you can decide. But I often wonder why so many here claim to be so scared of emotions. It's not like they can be turned on and off like a tap. They exist, part of what makes us complete as a person "
Not all swingers are human. | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. "2 isnt many just rotate them | |||
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"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. 2 isnt many just rotate them"What like a spit roast? | |||
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"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. 2 isnt many just rotate them
What like a spit roast? "if thats your thing | |||
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"It's a tough one. Maybe keep talking about other meets etc. Keep reminding yourself your not the only one and he's not the only one. Don't make him your only fuck. " This works, unless it's the other person who has the feels. | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. 2 isnt many just rotate them
What like a spit roast? if thats your thing"I think you know it’s not | |||
"Keep your lives separate. Remember that you're just in a bubble of fun when you're together, and that however enjoyable it is, it's not real. As fuck buddies or friends with benefits you may have the deepest affection for each other, but you don't really know each other completely. It's fantastic because you don't have to face the realities of life together, the tough times and hardships. It's a bubble of pleasure and if you can understand that and maintain some distance it can work beautifully. You leave each other smiling and looking forward to the next time "Spot on. Couldn’t have said it better. | |||
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"There's nothing that can stop you feeling any emotion. It's part of our human make-up. Surely seeing someone "regularly" will always generate some feelings. Why is that a bad thing after all its what many on here describe as "chemistry". What you decide to do with or about those feelings only you can decide. But I often wonder why so many here claim to be so scared of emotions. It's not like they can be turned on and off like a tap. They exist, part of what makes us complete as a person
Not all swingers are human. "Troglagye waves from the man cave | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!! ""You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead". | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead". "Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here  | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here "Have a drink.forget about it | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here "happy thoughts | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way.. 2 isnt many just rotate them
What like a spit roast? if thats your thing
I think you know it’s not "People evolve lol | |||
"There's nothing that can stop you feeling any emotion. It's part of our human make-up. Surely seeing someone "regularly" will always generate some feelings. Why is that a bad thing after all its what many on here describe as "chemistry". What you decide to do with or about those feelings only you can decide. But I often wonder why so many here claim to be so scared of emotions. It's not like they can be turned on and off like a tap. They exist, part of what makes us complete as a person
Not all swingers are human.
Troglagye waves from the man cave "((( ))) | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here
Have a drink.forget about it"Yeah pass me another gin | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here "Im on the turn....hah | |||
"I’ve not had a fWB before but I know how I am and I can get attached easily. I’m married and in an open relationship but I don’t want fall for someone as my fuck buddy and ruin my relationship with my partner x" Imo this is a conversation you should have with your partner. It could be, for example, that he's comfortable with you having a degree of emotional involvement if you give him the power to pull the plug on it if it ever gets to him. Or maybe that he's willing to allow for a time frame within which you fall madly and deeply for your fb and then have to take a break. These approaches are obviously fraught with more danger and cut things closer to the edge. But they maybe something that works for you. Good luck | |||
"I’ve not had a fWB before but I know how I am and I can get attached easily. I’m married and in an open relationship but I don’t want fall for someone as my fuck buddy and ruin my relationship with my partner x" Then don't meet anyone more than twice. You know you get attached easily. Why put your marriage at risk for a fuck? | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here
Im on the turn....hah"Haha! Well there’s the answer for both of us then. Sorted | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here
Have a drink.forget about it
Yeah pass me another gin " a nice big one | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " Tough one...slightly been there...always best to keep the fun just that....fun... especially if you dont want it to become anything else (there are lots of reasons why not)... id say be open and honest from the get go...and communicate if things change... x | |||
"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!!
"You have two hopes, Bob Hope and No Hope, and Bob Hope is dead".
Haha true. Wonder which one of us will find one first. Wtf are we doing here
Have a drink.forget about it
Yeah pass me another gin "Got big bottle here help yourself | |||
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"Also could have a print of wife/hubby on a t-shirt. Kill any passion " Excellent advice | |||
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"Make sure the person you choose is not someone you would want to have a relationship with - too young, too tall, too loud, too boring - something, then you can safely meet them forever! The danger comes if you are too compatible." as in your case? | |||
"Make sure the person you choose is not someone you would want to have a relationship with - too young, too tall, too loud, too boring - something, then you can safely meet them forever! The danger comes if you are too compatible.as in your case?" I've had both kinds yes!!  | |||
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"Have someone in between meets maybe Christ another...I cant find one help having said that I wouldn't be one of many..no way..
Haha yep. One would be good!! "I'm sure you get offers from more than 1 lol , especially with all the new pics | |||
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"I think that is inevitable. If you keep meeting someone that you have a sexual and mental connection with, you'll fall in love with that person. Simply because that person will fill a hole in your life (no pun intended). Safe sex is an oxymoron. There is no such thing as safe sex, because even though sex can sometimes be only physical, if you meet someone that ticks all the boxes (be it sexual or not) and even the one you haven't thought of, you'll develop feelings for that person. " this | |||
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"If I meet someone more than once then it is because I like spending time with them, which means I already have feelings for them. But as has been said above, it’s knowing where the line is. Fab is escapism, it’s sexy adventure with real people but it’s not everyday life. Feelings will develop, and that usually makes the sex better but as long as both people know that it’s not going to become a relationship then I think it’s possible to enjoy it for what it is. " | |||
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"The answer is to psychological pigeon hole them. In other words separate compartments for everything. Let’s face it you only need them for sex. Have psychological pigeon holes for every aspect of life, meet the fwb then afterwards place them in the pigeon hole until you need them next time.....and so on. Simples ! " you only need me for sex, well I never | |||
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"I think that is inevitable. If you keep meeting someone that you have a sexual and mental connection with, you'll fall in love with that person. Simply because that person will fill a hole in your life (no pun intended). " I don't think it's inevitable though, I've had great fb/fwb I've met for years without coming anywhere near falling for them. Chatting about it though I guess the problem is it's unpredictable - you can never be sure who will flip that switch, or guarantee at the outset you won't suddenly find yourself sliding down a slippery slope and getting carried away with it all. | |||
"I think that is inevitable. If you keep meeting someone that you have a sexual and mental connection with, you'll fall in love with that person. Simply because that person will fill a hole in your life (no pun intended). Safe sex is an oxymoron. There is no such thing as safe sex, because even though sex can sometimes be only physical, if you meet someone that ticks all the boxes (be it sexual or not) and even the one you haven't thought of, you'll develop feelings for that person. " I've been seeing someone for sex for 8 and a half years and I have not fallen in love with him. I don't want a relationship with him or to live with him. The sex is all I want from him. | |||
"There's nothing that can stop you feeling any emotion. It's part of our human make-up. Surely seeing someone "regularly" will always generate some feelings. Why is that a bad thing after all its what many on here describe as "chemistry". What you decide to do with or about those feelings only you can decide. But I often wonder why so many here claim to be so scared of emotions. It's not like they can be turned on and off like a tap. They exist, part of what makes us complete as a person " | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. " Why is it a problem? There’s no better feeling than falling in love. Well if it’s both ways of course, there’s no worse feeling being the only one feeling it. | |||
"I’ve not had a fWB before but I know how I am and I can get attached easily. I’m married and in an open relationship but I don’t want fall for someone as my fuck buddy and ruin my relationship with my partner x Then don't meet anyone more than twice. You know you get attached easily. Why put your marriage at risk for a fuck?" Exactly Or only meet in a club? Or put a time limit on meets? Or a time limit between and see others in between? But I agree you need to ask yourself why do you want sex outside your relationship? | |||
"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? I had to stop seeing a regular FB because of this problem. If your seeing someone you like regularly for sex feelings sometimes get involved at some point. All you can do is stop seeing that person as soon as you can feel something else between you. Why is it a problem? There’s no better feeling than falling in love. Well if it’s both ways of course, there’s no worse feeling being the only one feeling it." Agreed. | |||
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"I think that is inevitable. If you keep meeting someone that you have a sexual and mental connection with, you'll fall in love with that person. Simply because that person will fill a hole in your life (no pun intended). Safe sex is an oxymoron. There is no such thing as safe sex, because even though sex can sometimes be only physical, if you meet someone that ticks all the boxes (be it sexual or not) and even the one you haven't thought of, you'll develop feelings for that person. I've been seeing someone for sex for 8 and a half years and I have not fallen in love with him. I don't want a relationship with him or to live with him. The sex is all I want from him." Yes because he may only be good for that in your eyes but if you see him from another angle, it may change everything... | |||
"It's a difficult one and for some people there may be no way to avoid this from happening. If we see someone regularly, it's clearly because they appeal to us in one or more levels. That familiarity often can kindle other feelings that weren't originally intended. Some people are great at compartmentalizing and others aren't. The ones that aren't, I think will be at greater risk of falling for a fb. It obviously becomes complicated if those feelings aren't reciprocated by the other person." | |||
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"Is there a way to stop someone falling for a regular fuck buddy. I don’t have one but would love a regular buddy but always been a bit concerned if I was meeting someone on a regular basis what stops me falling for that person? " If you keep meeting the same person regularly then you are more than likley going to develop feelings. The only way to stop this I guess it so limit repeat meets with people. | |||
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"Thanks for all the replies. I think my problem and I’ve seen previous threads about it is getting too involved with someone as I’m married. Hubby happy for me to have a FWB but I just get attached too easily. " See I find it easy... because I'm married. I'm really not interested in emotional involvement and there's no need to open yourself up to that. It's really easy to keep things on a sex only level if that's what both parties are clear that it is. | |||
"Thanks for all the replies. I think my problem and I’ve seen previous threads about it is getting too involved with someone as I’m married. Hubby happy for me to have a FWB but I just get attached too easily. See I find it easy... because I'm married. I'm really not interested in emotional involvement and there's no need to open yourself up to that. It's really easy to keep things on a sex only level if that's what both parties are clear that it is. " That’s what I’m going to do xx | |||
"Thanks for all the replies. I think my problem and I’ve seen previous threads about it is getting too involved with someone as I’m married. Hubby happy for me to have a FWB but I just get attached too easily. See I find it easy... because I'm married. I'm really not interested in emotional involvement and there's no need to open yourself up to that. It's really easy to keep things on a sex only level if that's what both parties are clear that it is. That’s what I’m going to do xx" Ahh if you can do that | |||
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"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. " Point very well made | |||
"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. " But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. | |||
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"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. " Totally agree | |||
"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. " But what if that behaviour is who they are? If that's their "thing". Making you feel special is part of their style, and they enjoy making you feel that way. They want you to feel good about yourself and confident and believes everyone should feel special. You weren't looking for anything more than a laugh and some mind blowing sex, but you ended up with that and a whole lot more. I agree that if you're in a relationship it's more likely to be easier to not develop feelings as you'll see it for what it is, and not have the volume of contact that you do. So yeah, it is different for singles, as those in relationships have a responsibility to their partner, whereas singles don't and it's much easier to get swept away. | |||
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"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. But what if that behaviour is who they are? If that's their "thing". Making you feel special is part of their style, and they enjoy making you feel that way. They want you to feel good about yourself and confident and believes everyone should feel special. You weren't looking for anything more than a laugh and some mind blowing sex, but you ended up with that and a whole lot more. I agree that if you're in a relationship it's more likely to be easier to not develop feelings as you'll see it for what it is, and not have the volume of contact that you do. So yeah, it is different for singles, as those in relationships have a responsibility to their partner, whereas singles don't and it's much easier to get swept away." Yep I completely get where you're coming from... but if you're single can you not allow yourself to get swept up... take it for what it is? With the knowledge that it's fun while it lasts? Enjoy the moment? Yes there's the potential to get hurt but if you always have in the back of your mind to stay grounded then surely any happiness you get from the experience is worth it? That's how I see it anyway. | |||
"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. But what if that behaviour is who they are? If that's their "thing". Making you feel special is part of their style, and they enjoy making you feel that way. They want you to feel good about yourself and confident and believes everyone should feel special. You weren't looking for anything more than a laugh and some mind blowing sex, but you ended up with that and a whole lot more. I agree that if you're in a relationship it's more likely to be easier to not develop feelings as you'll see it for what it is, and not have the volume of contact that you do. So yeah, it is different for singles, as those in relationships have a responsibility to their partner, whereas singles don't and it's much easier to get swept away. Yep I completely get where you're coming from... but if you're single can you not allow yourself to get swept up... take it for what it is? With the knowledge that it's fun while it lasts? Enjoy the moment? Yes there's the potential to get hurt but if you always have in the back of your mind to stay grounded then surely any happiness you get from the experience is worth it? That's how I see it anyway. " I do agree, to stay grounded though I would need to not see them regularly, for the contact to shift from the amount you expect when you're dating or in a relationship with someone, to maybe once or twice a week, rather than multiple convos daily plus calls. Enjoy it while it lasts, yes. But don't tell people that kind of stuff if you don't mean it. No fuck is worth messing with someones head n heart. | |||
"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. But what if that behaviour is who they are? If that's their "thing". Making you feel special is part of their style, and they enjoy making you feel that way. They want you to feel good about yourself and confident and believes everyone should feel special. You weren't looking for anything more than a laugh and some mind blowing sex, but you ended up with that and a whole lot more. I agree that if you're in a relationship it's more likely to be easier to not develop feelings as you'll see it for what it is, and not have the volume of contact that you do. So yeah, it is different for singles, as those in relationships have a responsibility to their partner, whereas singles don't and it's much easier to get swept away. Yep I completely get where you're coming from... but if you're single can you not allow yourself to get swept up... take it for what it is? With the knowledge that it's fun while it lasts? Enjoy the moment? Yes there's the potential to get hurt but if you always have in the back of your mind to stay grounded then surely any happiness you get from the experience is worth it? That's how I see it anyway. I do agree, to stay grounded though I would need to not see them regularly, for the contact to shift from the amount you expect when you're dating or in a relationship with someone, to maybe once or twice a week, rather than multiple convos daily plus calls. Enjoy it while it lasts, yes. But don't tell people that kind of stuff if you don't mean it. No fuck is worth messing with someones head n heart." Oh no I completely agree... but sadly there are shitbags out there and we ain't gonna change that, so you have to approach with caution to protect yourself. | |||
"When you have someone that makes you feel super special, tells you how wonderful you are and is in almost constant contact, added to that the effort they go to to meet, amazing sex, the fact you can talk about anything and everything, you're connected mentally, you trust this person completely, well, it's hardly fucking surprising really. It shocks me more that people can make you feel special, go to that effort, make you feel wanted, that they wish they were with you, and to a degree loved, and expect it NOT to happen. But that would only happen if you're open to that. If you're not open to any emotional involvement then surely you'd just walk away the minute anyone displays that behaviour? I know I would and have done. In the op case as she's married I'm guessing that's what she would do also? Otherwise it's dangerous ground and people get hurt. It's way different for single people. But what if that behaviour is who they are? If that's their "thing". Making you feel special is part of their style, and they enjoy making you feel that way. They want you to feel good about yourself and confident and believes everyone should feel special. You weren't looking for anything more than a laugh and some mind blowing sex, but you ended up with that and a whole lot more. I agree that if you're in a relationship it's more likely to be easier to not develop feelings as you'll see it for what it is, and not have the volume of contact that you do. So yeah, it is different for singles, as those in relationships have a responsibility to their partner, whereas singles don't and it's much easier to get swept away. Yep I completely get where you're coming from... but if you're single can you not allow yourself to get swept up... take it for what it is? With the knowledge that it's fun while it lasts? Enjoy the moment? Yes there's the potential to get hurt but if you always have in the back of your mind to stay grounded then surely any happiness you get from the experience is worth it? That's how I see it anyway. I do agree, to stay grounded though I would need to not see them regularly, for the contact to shift from the amount you expect when you're dating or in a relationship with someone, to maybe once or twice a week, rather than multiple convos daily plus calls. Enjoy it while it lasts, yes. But don't tell people that kind of stuff if you don't mean it. No fuck is worth messing with someones head n heart. Oh no I completely agree... but sadly there are shitbags out there and we ain't gonna change that, so you have to approach with caution to protect yourself. " Oh I hear ya, you need to make the decision whether to walk away and protect yourself (and possibly never know if you could have been more given time) or whether to stick with it and risk heartbreak if you allow it to break your heart. | |||
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"Do you have to not fall for them? Feelings are normal and there is a whole spectrum of love out there. Why can't you have a degree of feeling/Love for fwb? It is possible to love a friend, then why not a FWB? I don't see why you can't have feelings for someone who is not the one you see your self spending your life with? There are different levels as love. You can have feelings for someone but not want to spend your life together with them. Surely it's just nice to live in the moment and be free to be your self? " Exactly. I don’t get what the big fear is! I suppose it depends what kind of person you are. I can’t do random sex with just anyone and everyone anyway, there’s got to be a bit of something else there for me (that’s probably reduced my messages by half!) but I know that it won’t ever be anything else other than a FWB situation for me. Someone hit the nail on the head with the bubble comment earlier. | |||
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"Do you have to not fall for them? Feelings are normal and there is a whole spectrum of love out there. Why can't you have a degree of feeling/Love for fwb? It is possible to love a friend, then why not a FWB? I don't see why you can't have feelings for someone who is not the one you see your self spending your life with? There are different levels as love. You can have feelings for someone but not want to spend your life together with them. Surely it's just nice to live in the moment and be free to be your self? Exactly. I don’t get what the big fear is! I suppose it depends what kind of person you are. I can’t do random sex with just anyone and everyone anyway, there’s got to be a bit of something else there for me (that’s probably reduced my messages by half!) but I know that it won’t ever be anything else other than a FWB situation for me. Someone hit the nail on the head with the bubble comment earlier. " im the same as i explained yesterday to ya | |||
"Do you have to not fall for them? Feelings are normal and there is a whole spectrum of love out there. Why can't you have a degree of feeling/Love for fwb? It is possible to love a friend, then why not a FWB? I don't see why you can't have feelings for someone who is not the one you see your self spending your life with? There are different levels as love. You can have feelings for someone but not want to spend your life together with them. Surely it's just nice to live in the moment and be free to be your self? Exactly. I don’t get what the big fear is! I suppose it depends what kind of person you are. I can’t do random sex with just anyone and everyone anyway, there’s got to be a bit of something else there for me (that’s probably reduced my messages by half!) but I know that it won’t ever be anything else other than a FWB situation for me. Someone hit the nail on the head with the bubble comment earlier. im the same as i explained yesterday to ya" Yesterday makes my comments look a bit hypocritical haha. I’m over it now though | |||
"Do you have to not fall for them? Feelings are normal and there is a whole spectrum of love out there. Why can't you have a degree of feeling/Love for fwb? It is possible to love a friend, then why not a FWB? I don't see why you can't have feelings for someone who is not the one you see your self spending your life with? There are different levels as love. You can have feelings for someone but not want to spend your life together with them. Surely it's just nice to live in the moment and be free to be your self? Exactly. I don’t get what the big fear is! I suppose it depends what kind of person you are. I can’t do random sex with just anyone and everyone anyway, there’s got to be a bit of something else there for me (that’s probably reduced my messages by half!) but I know that it won’t ever be anything else other than a FWB situation for me. Someone hit the nail on the head with the bubble comment earlier. im the same as i explained yesterday to ya Yesterday makes my comments look a bit hypocritical haha. I’m over it now though " nope | |||
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"My way to stop attatchment is to get a few regular play partners and dont see the same one more then once a week or fortnightly . Through experience this works for me xx" I met a lovely lady recently. Had BF and a few extra friends dotted about. Think there was a slot free
I could have had the choice of being monday or tuesday man.
I declined. Bit too swingery.
We all want to feel a bit special,not partof some entourage. | |||
"My way to stop attatchment is to get a few regular play partners and dont see the same one more then once a week or fortnightly . Through experience this works for me xx I met a lovely lady recently. Had BF and a few extra friends dotted about. Think there was a slot free
I could have had the choice of being monday or tuesday man.
I declined. Bit too swingery.
We all want to feel a bit special,not partof some entourage. "Ahhh you want to feel special in this life ha good luck with that one | |||
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"Looksike the OP found the solution" Give her a few days | |||
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