FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What put you off meeting?
What put you off meeting?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found it a bit hard to get the energy and motivation to meet someone new and all I wanted was to meet people I was already familiar with, so I left for a little while. I got my mojo back at the end of the summer and here I am  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What puts me off is the occasional one that can leave you with your ego in your boots ....
Wannabe Don Juan’s who are more like Dave from the local pub  "
yeah i totally get that. which is why i go away, refresh myself and then make a decision about returning or not.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone being particularly cruel and hurtful in something they said to me, killed my confidence.
 Did you get your confidence back?"
Yes hence I'm on here  |
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"I found it a bit hard to get the energy and motivation to meet someone new and all I wanted was to meet people I was already familiar with, so I left for a little while. I got my mojo back at the end of the summer and here I am "
This ^^^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I took almost 2 years off, UNLOSed for most of that time, until this month (previous meet was Dec 2016).
It all got a little overwhelming at the time - too many meets in too short a time and a change in my social behaviour (out all the time) meant it was all becoming too much.
This time around I will meet much less frequently, quality not quantity! |
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"Someone being particularly cruel and hurtful in something they said to me, killed my confidence.
Did you get your confidence back?
Yes hence I'm on here "
I’m glad you did, it makes me sad to think that people can be like that to others x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men with no clue about swinging and assuming that every woman on a site like this is a free prostitute.
This and predatory couples who just want a 3rd wheel. "
Single men do get a bad rep on here, but most of the issues I’ve had every time I’ve been on fab has been with couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My confidence has been knocked a few times so ive left but always seem to come back.....although confidence is and probably always will be on the low side |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Twice I've been going to meet someone but as soon as arrangements were being made the conversation went too sexual and I got put off "
That puts me off too and I won't meet after they start that. I don't do sex chat before I've met them in person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My confidence has been knocked a few times so ive left but always seem to come back.....although confidence is and probably always will be on the low side "
Who knocked your confidence? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting? "
Time wasters, liars/cheaters, being treated disrespectfully. Sometimes it’s just easier to go to a club (though the quality can be iffy) or just fix my mix! |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
This is an odd one, there is a a lot of central/eastern Europeans, in penguin, with towels, mode in clubs.
We love dungeons, we don’t mind people watching, we don’t mind people asking questions.
I don’t like people who have no idea what’s going on attempting to get involved.
The three times this has happened, every time it has been Central European’s.
Different values? Possibly, however the person I’m with is in the protection of my/our values, and the boundaries which are not known to others.
If I’m not holding the space because of others, it puts me off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men with no clue about swinging and assuming that every woman on a site like this is a free prostitute. "
That and the timewasters...
as well as anxiety
and being diagnosed with a chronic illness and trying to get my head around that
also thinking no one would want to meet me ....
i felt so bad about myself i actually left the site... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone I met socially commenting on my dress size, in a cruel way. I burst into tears and left the coffee shop. "
Oh wow. Sorry to hear that. That’s horrible . |
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"Someone I met socially commenting on my dress size, in a cruel way. I burst into tears and left the coffee shop. "
I am without words. I find it hard to believe that someone could be that insensitive and nasty - but there are some knobheads about.
Above all, it's their loss, and definitely not yours. Don't let the arseholes try and destroy you. It's they who have the problem.....NOT YOU. xx |
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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Just now I'm not meeting as my health isn't so great but I have been put off in general just now.
Got fed up with some men thinking as soon as they messaged me it meant I had to jump to attention and met them, when I said I actually had a life and other commitments I was then a time waster and that was followed by "didn't wanna meet a fat bird anyway, I was doing YOU the favour"
Got stood up a few times as well then the ones that put the constant pressure on you. It's a shame as there are some nice people.
Glad of the break just now as it wasn't fun there for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone I met socially commenting on my dress size, in a cruel way. I burst into tears and left the coffee shop. "
that is disgraceful and if i had heard that id of been over there to discuss the matter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a couple of bad meets, then 3 guys I adored left, I was trolled and bullied in The Forums, my pics were stolen and plastered over the net and I put on weight...
= I have little confidence left and my trust has gone, hence 2 sexual meets only this year. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a couple of bad meets, then 3 guys I adored left, I was trolled and bullied in The Forums, my pics were stolen and plastered over the net and I put on weight...
= I have little confidence left and my trust has gone, hence 2 sexual meets only this year. "
tell you what then. i'll be tom cruise (short) and you be nicole kidman (tall).
xx |
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting? "
Usually other commitments. Family, work, study, etc., sometimes I can manage to fit in some fun times with fwb around those commitments and sometimes even he has to take a back seat (thankfully he has the patience to hang in there when I can't give him time).
Other times it's been because I haven't been able to connect with anyone on the level that I need and my libido ends up going into hibernation.
And then there are things like illness, injury, grief, stress, etc., that just don't really play well with sexy times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was jaded. In hindsight very jaded. It's over a decade since I first become involved in the scene. I've been to countless clubs and socials all over the country and while I still enjoyed it it was a bit too all consuming. It was only when I met someone not on the scene that I realised how much I was enjoying not being active on the scene any more. I like the balance I have now, previously I was at swinging or fet events at the expense of other things, now we occasionally go to clubs but almost as a last resort if we are free on a weekend and there's nothing else on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone I met socially commenting on my dress size, in a cruel way. I burst into tears and left the coffee shop. "
Your pics are hot. Hope you can see that too. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just now I'm not meeting as my health isn't so great but I have been put off in general just now.
Got fed up with some men thinking as soon as they messaged me it meant I had to jump to attention and met them, when I said I actually had a life and other commitments I was then a time waster and that was followed by "didn't wanna meet a fat bird anyway, I was doing YOU the favour"
Got stood up a few times as well then the ones that put the constant pressure on you. It's a shame as there are some nice people.
Glad of the break just now as it wasn't fun there for a while."
There are still nice people.
Always remember the insults are because they're so upset that you won't fuck them. Take them as a compliment. If they really didn't want to fuck you they wouldn't have mailed you. x |
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By *eelouWoman
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Just now I'm not meeting as my health isn't so great but I have been put off in general just now.
Got fed up with some men thinking as soon as they messaged me it meant I had to jump to attention and met them, when I said I actually had a life and other commitments I was then a time waster and that was followed by "didn't wanna meet a fat bird anyway, I was doing YOU the favour"
Got stood up a few times as well then the ones that put the constant pressure on you. It's a shame as there are some nice people.
Glad of the break just now as it wasn't fun there for a while.
There are still nice people.
Always remember the insults are because they're so upset that you won't fuck them. Take them as a compliment. If they really didn't want to fuck you they wouldn't have mailed you. x"
Well, when you look at it like that it's not as bad Thanks for that xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting? "
My wife got out of prison.....
She is on parole now , with a 8 o’clock curfew....
Hopefully she will violate her parole and have to finish her prison sentence , so I can go back to meeting people....
Until then I can only meet people before 8 pm... |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting?
My wife got out of prison.....
She is on parole now , with a 8 o’clock curfew....
Hopefully she will violate her parole and have to finish her prison sentence , so I can go back to meeting people....
Until then I can only meet people before 8 pm..."
I've missed you buddy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone I met socially commenting on my dress size, in a cruel way. I burst into tears and left the coffee shop. "
That is absoloutely awful. Some people are such low lifes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just don't feel the need as much any more
The idea is nice, but I honestly can't be arsed with the reality
I do think, as well, I did too much meeting in my 30's & 40's
There's not much that I want to try that I haven't already
Nobody has really brought anything different or new to the table since
I've heard it all before
So, I would say it's a combination of age & experience that's put the brakes on for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My job put me off. I was working with sex offenders and other serious criminals. Made me over think every interaction I had with people, especially men. Was My worth putting myself through it. "
Have you met anyone since? |
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"My job put me off. I was working with sex offenders and other serious criminals. Made me over think every interaction I had with people, especially men. Was My worth putting myself through it.
Have you met anyone since?"
No, but I left that job a couple of months back, so I'm getting there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right now the ever incrementing pile of unread messages here. All the guys on the forum going on about not replying to messages has just make me think if I don't open its not not replying.  "
What’s a man supposed to do. Surly we have to send a message to a women otherwise we might as well cancel our subscription and not bother. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Twice I've been going to meet someone but as soon as arrangements were being made the conversation went too sexual and I got put off
That puts me off too and I won't meet after they start that. I don't do sex chat before I've met them in person. "
It just really surprised me, there was no tone of sexual chat the whole time and I had chatted for over a month. I also let them know that I wasn't the most confident sexually so it took me aback. Twice it's happened so it's put me right off  |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
The amount of people who use a meet as a means to feed their drug habit... The amount of people either on my local updates or having spent hours chatting comes down to the expectation of you procuring drugs for them in order to meet is ridiculous. If anyone needs drugs to have fun it's not going to be fun for me. |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
This place has changed me from an honest, open , confident, with integrity, happy go with the flow type....
To well I cant say...but this place is full on deviantants beyond belief sometimes and that changes us for a long time until we see the light again
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People who take you for a fool. I’m not here to play games. I don’t have much time to ‘play’ and I’m usually very busy.
Sometimes I like to just let my hair down, relax and have some fun but some just like to string me along (and think I don’t realise).
 |
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting? "
String of people that don’t look like their photos or have lied about their ages! Oh and time wasters cancelling at last minute. Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort |
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By *cedGemsWoman
over a year ago
South West Wales ;-) |
"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting?
String of people that don’t look like their photos or have lied about their ages! Oh and time wasters cancelling at last minute. Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort "
Yup, disheartening to say the least |
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From my first time on Fab, my own experiences and expectations.
I lacked confidence and didn't understand the scene.
This time round, I'm not currently meeting due to helping my parents who have health worries. I tend to check in here a couple of times a week but haven't even been compelled to write much in the last fortnight. |
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"Men with no clue about swinging and assuming that every woman on a site like this is a free prostitute. "
I still owe you a packet of KP Dry Roasted Peanuts, but you can possibly let that one slide  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This place has changed me from an honest, open , confident, with integrity, happy go with the flow type....
To well I cant say...but this place is full on deviantants beyond belief sometimes and that changes us for a long time until we see the light again
"
This is very disheartening to read.....
Most people I know become sex addicts after becoming swingers....
Boy how this swinging scene has changed in 10 years... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This place has changed me from an honest, open , confident, with integrity, happy go with the flow type....
To well I cant say...but this place is full on deviantants beyond belief sometimes and that changes us for a long time until we see the light again
"
This place - do you mean the people mailing you?
Hope you get your happy feeling and confidence back. |
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting?
String of people that don’t look like their photos or have lied about their ages! Oh and time wasters cancelling at last minute. Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort
Yup, disheartening to say the least "
Just a bit lol. Still, everyone has their own agendas. Unfortunately it’s not always what they tell you or write on their profiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men with no clue about swinging and assuming that every woman on a site like this is a free prostitute. "
This mainly
Crap sex that I should have been paid for and too many liars!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This place has changed me from an honest, open , confident, with integrity, happy go with the flow type....
To well I cant say...but this place is full on deviantants beyond belief sometimes and that changes us for a long time until we see the light again
This is very disheartening to read.....
Most people I know become sex addicts after becoming swingers....
Boy how this swinging scene has changed in 10 years..."
This place has made me want sex even less. |
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting? "
I have on several occasions for a variety of reasons.
Not being well. This year I've had a serious chest infection & a nasty eye injury.
School holidays are always a tricky time too, although mine are now teenagers & not totaly dependant, I need to be around.
Right now, things are a little crazy, I'm really not looking to meet anyone new.
I'm juggling 4 jobs, colleague just gone on maternity so I've gained an extra 4 shifts a week at one job.
I like to chat to someone, get to know a little about them before I even decide if I want to meet them, and it's always a social first.
I'm not going to waste someone's & my own time trying to do that when I can't give a time frame as to when it might happen.
I used to put "NOT LOOKING TO MEET RIGHT NOW" across the top of my bio, on these occasions, but I stopped as it actually increased the amount of mail I got, almost like some men saw it as a challenge!!
Instead I just hide my profile now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men with no clue about swinging and assuming that every woman on a site like this is a free prostitute. "
Something similar in most men assuming any sissy on here must want fucking
And not feeling safe to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time wasters, apart from the lovely lady in my recent Veri, last 12 meets all cancelled, or just plain disappeared.
I stay on for the Forums,and the slight chance of having a FWB relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This place has changed me from an honest, open , confident, with integrity, happy go with the flow type....
To well I cant say...but this place is full on deviantants beyond belief sometimes and that changes us for a long time until we see the light again
This is very disheartening to read.....
Most people I know become sex addicts after becoming swingers....
Boy how this swinging scene has changed in 10 years...
This place has made me want sex even less. "
Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What puts me off is the occasional one that can leave you with your ego in your boots ....
Wannabe Don Juan’s who are more like Dave from the local pub "
Ouch I am Dave from the local pub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you've ever taken a break from meeting, what was it that put you off meeting?
String of people that don’t look like their photos or have lied about their ages! Oh and time wasters cancelling at last minute. Sometimes it’s just not worth the effort
Yup, disheartening to say the least
Just a bit lol. Still, everyone has their own agendas. Unfortunately it’s not always what they tell you or write on their profiles "
Exactly right !!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes the mojo just dissapears, and I cant identify why?
Maybe it's the whole feeling of message, arrange social, arrange meet,feels more like a business transaction than you might get from spontaneous mutual feelings you experience in other scenarios?
I'll shout it out....it's not normal to want nothing but sex 365 days a year!  sometimes I'd rather go for a walk on the beach or watch a movie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My limp, lifeless cock no springing into action. Either that, or cumming just as I’m entering the vagina and I have to apologise that this has never happened before. But we both know, it happens all the time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Sometimes the mojo just dissapears, and I cant identify why?
Maybe it's the whole feeling of message, arrange social, arrange meet,feels more like a business transaction than you might get from spontaneous mutual feelings you experience in other scenarios?
I'll shout it out....it's not normal to want nothing but sex 365 days a year! sometimes I'd rather go for a walk on the beach or watch a movie."
Ah you made me feel normal. |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"My limp, lifeless cock no springing into action. Either that, or cumming just as I’m entering the vagina and I have to apologise that this has never happened before. But we both know, it happens all the time. "
I heard that rumour |
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A couples deception to get what they want prior to meeting and then messaging you constantly afterwards and make one half of us feel crap.
Couples that constantly change their profile to suit when you know that what they have put is not what they really want! |
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By *ottie 13Woman
over a year ago
Happy go lucky |
The timewasters what's the point in arranging a meet if you have no intention of turning up if you just wanna cam and get wanking material say that don't lie about wanting to meet then either disappear or come up with a shit excuse a wk later |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just became jaded, it was just the same old, same old. Same faces, same forum posts, nothing to excite anymore, so I went unlos.
Rejoined a month ago. Starting to feel jaded again already. Very few people interest me and the forums... too many regurgitated posts that I find boring.
Maybe it's me that's boring! |
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By *ercuryMan
over a year ago
Grantham |
"A couples deception to get what they want prior to meeting and then messaging you constantly afterwards and make one half of us feel crap.
Couples that constantly change their profile to suit when you know that what they have put is not what they really want! "
I've met several couples where it quickly becomes apparent that it's all about "him" and not "her". Even to the extent where you can tell that she's just going along with it to keep him happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I left due to drama on here which massively knocked my confidence..I returned.
But now I'm not sure I should've as my confidence is pretty much zero & the thought of a meet is pretty scary  |
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By *obbo44Man
over a year ago
Swansea |
IHS itchy hoop syndrome
Awful thing and very embarrassing when you have put so much time and effort in getting to know someone spent weeks talking about what you like and what collar you are going to get her , taken time to go to the socials and have chatted to them so that everyone is comfortable so then you are ready to do the deed get down and dirty flick the bean into the stratosphere before having a marathon game of hide the sausage and the day comes she's round at mine clothes are off head is inches away from bean paradise and then it starts a sensation you get like when you brush past stingy nettles a tingly itchy feeling spreading from the centre of the hoop right out and it became too much so I could cope with the IHS so had to have some therapy and time away |
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By *obbo44Man
over a year ago
Swansea |
"[Removed by poster at 01/11/18 08:08:30]
Well hope things are working out pal that sounds shitty"
Thank you mate I'm working.my way through it had to come back it was an itch I needed to scratch |
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"Ill health. Should be back on form by year end...fingers crossed.
Oh dear hope its nothing serious"
I'd be here all day! Trouble is medication I'm taking for one thing is poison and can only be taken for a year. Another medication stabilises one thing but damages another organ etc.
Just waiting for a procedure to treat problem. Have appointment later in the month with the consultant to discuss how it went...but no date for procedure itself! |
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Young family, new job with long hours, very little free time meaning when we get time off it’s rarely together and there’s always something needs doing or catching up on either with the house or the kids. I suppose that’s just life generally, that’s why we get really pissed off with the dreaded time wasters! |
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