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FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Should I settle.

Should I settle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Well the fact that you're asking shows you have doubts in which case you are not ready to settle with her and only you can decide if you ever will be.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only you know whether it’s worth trying to develop things.

Have you talked to her about the sex...maybe she’s feeling the same.

From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound you head is in it.

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"
Settle for More- Megyn Kelly

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"
she's OK looking and boring omg I hope she's not on here and reading this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

So correct

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Never settle

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

How long have you known her? If it's a newish relationship she's holding back a little? Perhaps you should talk to her because it sounds like everything else is good. It's such a shame when guys think with their dicks.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

Don't settle...she deserves someone who thinks better of her

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By *arc1oneMan  over a year ago

oxford

She has to light your fire so to speak

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Only you know the answer.

What you gonna do when your 70 and not having sex? Doesn't matter does it if she floats your boat so to speak.

If you love each other great, I'd settle for that as you only know how good it felt to be loved when you've lost it.

I took someone loving me for granted and now it's gone I still think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Life's too short to settle.

But if you meet someone away from here, that you're considering a relationship with, it's unlikely to develop naturally if you're still here.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Should you settle ?

She’s ok ?

I think that you’ve answered your own question. Poor woman deserves to be with someone who thinks she’s just more than ‘ok’

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Life's too short to settle.

But if you meet someone away from here, that you're considering a relationship with, it's unlikely to develop naturally if you're still here. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

Girls seem to talk about their partners sex life with their girlfriends which is horrible personally. Surely getting honest advice where there is a tonne of anonymity is way better.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Never settle. You do the person you're settling for a huge disservice.

It takes two to make a great sex life and two to make an average one. Allow her the liberty to find the person she can create a great sex life with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Life's too short to settle.

But if you meet someone away from here, that you're considering a relationship with, it's unlikely to develop naturally if you're still here. "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

In my early 20,s I met a girl who had only ever been with one guy, the sex was purely routine with her but she admitted to a lack of experience, over the 18 months we were together she became a different girl, the sex became amazing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not often you see a fella grumble about shit sex going IN to a relationship on here

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

If someone spoke about me in that way I think I'd tell them to fuck right off lol, so my vote is you move on and let the poor girl find a life partner who actually fully apppreciates her for who she is!!

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

Girls seem to talk about their partners sex life with their girlfriends which is horrible personally. Surely getting honest advice where there is a tonne of anonymity is way better."

Tonne being the word. Posting it all over the internet is not cool

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple  over a year ago

Maidstone

I hope she realises what a catch you are!

Lou x

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By *MP3Man  over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

'If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.'

Compromise in your situation will only lead to unhappiness, for you both.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is this real or just made up for a forum post.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do what you wanna do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You say shes not classically beautiful but fuck that. Are you attracted to her? Laughter is a huge thing. Do you see yourself with her?

How long have you been together? You just need to open up to her about the sex thing. If it doesnt work out thats okay.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is this real or just made up for a forum post."

Hmmmm the OP has met 2 couples since early September, fantasy section for this maybe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This post has been an eye opener

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is this real or just made up for a forum post.

Hmmmm the OP has met 2 couples since early September, fantasy section for this maybe "

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By *iss SJWoman  over a year ago

Hull


"This post has been an eye opener "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You say shes not classically beautiful but fuck that. Are you attracted to her? Laughter is a huge thing. Do you see yourself with her?

How long have you been together? You just need to open up to her about the sex thing. If it doesnt work out thats okay. "

Thank you dude. That’s a great help. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help. "

I’ll give you advice ... the girl needs someone who completely gets her , is proud to be with her and doesn’t think she’s just ‘ok’

You know what you’ve got to do - everyone deserves someone who thinks they’re amazing !!! It makes me wonder how many on here just meet because they’re ‘ok’

Do the right thing

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help.

I’ll give you advice ... the girl needs someone who completely gets her , is proud to be with her and doesn’t think she’s just ‘ok’

You know what you’ve got to do - everyone deserves someone who thinks they’re amazing !!! It makes me wonder how many on here just meet because they’re ‘ok’

Do the right thing "

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help.

I’ll give you advice ... the girl needs someone who completely gets her , is proud to be with her and doesn’t think she’s just ‘ok’

You know what you’ve got to do - everyone deserves someone who thinks they’re amazing !!! It makes me wonder how many on here just meet because they’re ‘ok’

Do the right thing "

Your right. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Okay, serious answer from me. Fuck the media driven view of what 'attractive' should be. You know if you find them appealing or not. The real consideration here is that you do not seem to find the sex as attractive. As others have said, talk about it with her. Her response to that will be more of an indicator as to whether or not you would be compatible in the long term.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

Girls seem to talk about their partners sex life with their girlfriends which is horrible personally. Surely getting honest advice where there is a tonne of anonymity is way better.

Tonne being the word. Posting it all over the internet is not cool "

Shes pretty safe with a random 45 year old guy posting here. You can get more honest advice than talking with close friends. He may not have a close social circle to talk about this with. He may also live in a small enough place where anything he does say will spread pretty quick.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help. "

You did not state who you were specifically asking advice from. The forums are open for all to comment on. If you wanted advice from friends then message them direct.

We are being nice. You asked for advice, our advice was given

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t know why this has irked me as much as it has but I was already in a bollocks kind of mood

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don’t know why this has irked me as much as it has but I was already in a bollocks kind of mood

"

I feel the same way

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I don’t know why this has irked me as much as it has but I was already in a bollocks kind of mood

I feel the same way "

It makes me wonder how many people just meet if that person is ‘ok’

God ... bloody people lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I hope she realises what a catch you are!

Lou x "
where's bricate? Out of interest?

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"
Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No! Never settle!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement "

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ...

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet

I was asking some advice from regulars on the forum that I consider friends. Please be nice. No one knows who we are. I was hoping you guys could help.

I’ll give you advice ... the girl needs someone who completely gets her , is proud to be with her and doesn’t think she’s just ‘ok’

You know what you’ve got to do - everyone deserves someone who thinks they’re amazing !!! It makes me wonder how many on here just meet because they’re ‘ok’

Do the right thing "

Yes, this is why people are getting shirty OP, your opening posts suggests that you don't think anywhere near enough of her to consider building a long term relationship on, and you don't appear to realise this. Ladies who are empathetic enough to put themselves in HER shoes are appalled at the thought of someone thinking so little of them. We all need to be loved and appreciated for who we are.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ... "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ... "
Hey love your Halloween pic

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bet you’re glad you asked

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread."

This has nothing to do with bloody morals !!!

It’s common fucking decency

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple  over a year ago

Maidstone


"I hope she realises what a catch you are!

Lou x where's bricate? Out of interest?"

Sorry, I have no idea where it is, what it is or why you’ve asked me.

X

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ... "
Yes hence the line after it. I wouldn't settle but I think people do as loneliness kicks in.

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By *innamon!Woman  over a year ago

no matter

Don’t you have to learn sex together. Maybe she isn’t experienced , if you are perhaps you should teach her and show her new things.

If you can’t be bothered to learn together then go find someone that has had lots of partners and knows what she doing .

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread.

This has nothing to do with bloody morals !!!

It’s common fucking decency

"

Absolutely!!

OP if you wanted advice from your friends you should of messaged them privately!

You need to talk to her as soon as otherwise she'll feel like you've been stringing her along. Be sensitive though ie don't use ok to describe how she looks or tell her you find her boring in the bedroom. Unless you want a black eye

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ... Yes hence the line after it. I wouldn't settle but I think people do as loneliness kicks in."

So you suggest swinging ?

I’ve no words

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I actually thought this post was going to be about PPI when I saw the title.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I hope she realises what a catch you are!

Lou x where's bricate? Out of interest?

Sorry, I have no idea where it is, what it is or why you’ve asked me.

X "
loubricate sorry chapped lips it's on my mind

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Cant believe you have actually posted this!

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle? Could suggest swinging? Ooh controversial statement

Are you fucking kidding ??

She’s not ok to be with properly but alright for swinging

Fucks sake ... Yes hence the line after it. I wouldn't settle but I think people do as loneliness kicks in.

So you suggest swinging ?

I’ve no words "
People do all sorts to spice up their sex life though. I know swinging wouldn't work without a stable relationship though.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"Cant believe you have actually posted this! "

He probably wishes he hasn't!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

So because the OP has been fussy and now feels the pressure to settle down, his prospective partner has to make adjustments to her life and change who she is to please his sexual desires?

I donmt know if I have the words to respond to this!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

If your criteria for a life partner is funny and makes you laugh then you're better off gay. We all know men are funnier than woman, on average.

Are you planning on being a swinger couple or vanilla?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So because the OP has been fussy and now feels the pressure to settle down, his prospective partner has to make adjustments to her life and change who she is to please his sexual desires?

I donmt know if I have the words to respond to this! "

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

OP has hidden his profile, I hope he wasn't getting shitty messages.

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"So because the OP has been fussy and now feels the pressure to settle down, his prospective partner has to make adjustments to her life and change who she is to please his sexual desires?

I donmt know if I have the words to respond to this! "
What about the single women and men on here who are happily married but use this site to get their needs fulfilled?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Don’t you have to learn sex together. Maybe she isn’t experienced , if you are perhaps you should teach her and show her new things.

If you can’t be bothered to learn together then go find someone that has had lots of partners and knows what she doing .

"

Or maybe it's OP that isnt experienced

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread."

The OP could have put a trigger warning at the start

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Cant believe you have actually posted this! "

Really? There have been far worse threads for sure

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7"
lesson ffs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7"

What was the lesson?

I missed it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it"
you snooze you lose

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!"

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread."

It's not about morality, it's about emotional intelligence.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/10/18 11:48:43]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Put your pitchforks away people..

Perhaps the op has learnt a valuable lesson today..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Depends what your looking for. Do you really think you'll find someone who's pretty...funny and kinky. If you do then move on. And do you think the sex is something you can work on. Me personally I would be happy with someone who's funny... That's worth it's weight in gold right there. Couldn't put up with boring tho...in the bedroom yes but not out and about. You just have to think how fussy you actually are. If you sit with her and want to be elsewhere and don't get excited to see her then move on x

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"Put your pitchforks away people..

Perhaps the op has learnt a valuable lesson today.. "

Men shouldn't settle for average looking women just because they are funny?

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By *abs..Woman  over a year ago

..

I’m not sure why anyone would want to settle but it’s not you I’m thinking of in this scenario it’s the lady in question. How awful would it be to find our your bf had ‘settled’ for you and he thought sex was boring? Surely she deserves better than that?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m not sure why anyone would want to settle but it’s not you I’m thinking of in this scenario it’s the lady in question. How awful would it be to find our your bf had ‘settled’ for you and he thought sex was boring? Surely she deserves better than that? "
she does and because you're a woman with great boobs I agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Put your pitchforks away people..

Perhaps the op has learnt a valuable lesson today.. "

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By *abs..Woman  over a year ago

..


"I’m not sure why anyone would want to settle but it’s not you I’m thinking of in this scenario it’s the lady in question. How awful would it be to find our your bf had ‘settled’ for you and he thought sex was boring? Surely she deserves better than that? she does and because you're a woman with great boobs I agree with you "

My boobs thank you

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m not sure why anyone would want to settle but it’s not you I’m thinking of in this scenario it’s the lady in question. How awful would it be to find our your bf had ‘settled’ for you and he thought sex was boring? Surely she deserves better than that? she does and because you're a woman with great boobs I agree with you

My boobs thank you "
Can they thank my ears in person please both at same time

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By *asmeenTV/TS  over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"
Your choice you already know the answer but goodluck x

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By *uciyassMan  over a year ago

sheffield

The only thing that should settle is a good whiskey for about 17 years min. Anything else requires a minimum of 1, hour depending on weight and conditions

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it"

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies."

That’s so true

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

See if you can liven her up a bit.

If she doesn't budge leave her to some grey cardi wearing Malcolm and go find yourself someone compatible.

People on here will say sex isn't everything (ironic I know), but I think it's very important for intimacy and becoming close to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

Introduce some toys or outfits in the bedroom Maybe? Lexi

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies."
yes this and I'm not agreeing with you because you're a woman

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By *r.BlondeMan  over a year ago

Chester/Wirral


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies."
Where's the equality?

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies."

Sorry, any woman posting the same question would get the same response from me and many others - every man deserves to be loved and appreciated for exactly who he is too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

Are you good friends? Do you have common goals? Do you feel able to rely on her no matter what, and she you? Do you look forward to seeing her, however long it was since you last saw her? If you can emphatically answer yes to all those questions, you may have a relationship you can build on which will get stronger. Sex isn't important initially, stuff can be "learned" on both sides. Friendship, comfort and security in the relationship are the most important things IMO.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

Introduce some toys or outfits in the bedroom Maybe? Lexi"
yes like buckaroo or twister

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies.yes this and I'm not agreeing with you because you're a woman "

Suck up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies.

Sorry, any woman posting the same question would get the same response from me and many others - every man deserves to be loved and appreciated for exactly who he is too."

I've heard people say that a lot too, but they only turn up on threads to give negative replies, take the piss or pour scorn on the poster; and it's rarely a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies.yes this and I'm not agreeing with you because you're a woman

Suck up "
Ha hey and a sexy woman at that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would say she should move on and find someone who values everything about her and wouldn’t post about her sex life to strangers on the internet "

Absolutely!!!!

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By *tarbeckCouple  over a year ago

york


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies."

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"And as the lord sayeth here endeth the first less luke 9 paragraph 7

What was the lesson?

I missed it

If you're a man don't talk about partners or ask for relationship advice on these forums.

Go ahead if you're a woman, you'll be inundated with well thought out, meaningful replies.

Sorry, any woman posting the same question would get the same response from me and many others - every man deserves to be loved and appreciated for exactly who he is too.

I've heard people say that a lot too, but they only turn up on threads to give negative replies, take the piss or pour scorn on the poster; and it's rarely a woman.

"

There are people who scorn everyone it's true, but to my mind it is more about the content than a higher degree of man-hating going on, I see more misogyny than misandry expressed on here, so there will be more reaction against that.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman  over a year ago

evesham


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

Release her to find someone who appreciates her much more than you do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

Release her to find someone who appreciates her much more than you do."

Thanks for your input.....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread.

It's not about morality, it's about emotional intelligence."

Sorry

I see the force of the emotional intelligence fab police is strong on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I find this to be a symptom of online dating.....

You meet people you get along with but it’s hard to fall in love with them....

I would say keep her in the friend zone, continue dating/swinging until you find a perfect match....

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango."

Vanilla doesn't mean shit shag btw - it's a question of compatibility, I consider myself very vanilla and I've had some fabulous 'vanilla' lovers.

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman  over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

Dont settle as it will only lead to resentment further down the line.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I see the force of the moral fab police is strong on this thread.

It's not about morality, it's about emotional intelligence.

Sorry

I see the force of the emotional intelligence fab police is strong on this thread."

Which is just as it should be, it's easy to lose touch with humanity when nsa sex is the norm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango."

Thanks dude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?"

Not long, five dates over about a month or so.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango.

Vanilla doesn't mean shit shag btw - it's a question of compatibility, I consider myself very vanilla and I've had some fabulous 'vanilla' lovers. "

I didn’t say it did flower, he did by saying the sex was boring as she was vanilla.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?

Not long, five dates over about a month or so. "

Sexual compatibility is very important, if you are bored already I would not give it much hope of success in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?

Not long, five dates over about a month or so. "

Well that’s no time at all, she probably doesn’t feel comfortable enough to go mad in the bedroom and let herself go, she could just be a little bit shy. Take the lead and introduce slightly more adventurous stuff each time, talk to her about it, you’ll probably find she’ll love the excitement.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?

Not long, five dates over about a month or so.

Sexual compatibility is very important, if you are bored already I would not give it much hope of success in the long run."

That's not long in the grand scheme of things, as I said earlier if everything else is good you should work at it for a bit. It's not like you're in your 20's

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango.

Vanilla doesn't mean shit shag btw - it's a question of compatibility, I consider myself very vanilla and I've had some fabulous 'vanilla' lovers.

I didn’t say it did flower, he did by saying the sex was boring as she was vanilla. "

I’m not saying she is boring in bed. As a couple there’s just no excitement there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So......how long have you been together, meeting up...whatever you call it these days?

Not long, five dates over about a month or so.

Sexual compatibility is very important, if you are bored already I would not give it much hope of success in the long run.

That's not long in the grand scheme of things, as I said earlier if everything else is good you should work at it for a bit. It's not like you're in your 20's "

Thank you for the positive comments guys. I appreciate it. X

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By *eliciousladyWoman  over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot."

Maybe since the previous girls, your sense of humour has matured/changed and if you had met this ‘boring girl’ 5 years ago it would have been very different.

I feel that she should be asking herself if she should settle for a person like you..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It seems you have three choices.

You can decide that you’re not compatible and part as friends.

You can settle for it how it is which will ultimately end in tears.

You can do something to create more excitement, introduce whatever it is you thing you’re missing. You might awaken her inner dirt bag and never look back. Or she might run a mile and think you’re a weirdo.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome."

I can honestly say this is the worst piece of advice. If my boyfriend sat me down and started rhyming off all those things and gave me ultimatums I'd feel like shit. I'd also be off. Have a chat about things you want to try in the bedroom fair enough but big long discussion about the whole relationship just because she's not a stunner. No way x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot.

Maybe since the previous girls, your sense of humour has matured/changed and if you had met this ‘boring girl’ 5 years ago it would have been very different.

I feel that she should be asking herself if she should settle for a person like you.."

Boring girl?!? I suggest you read my post properly before you comment. Tell me where I mentioned a “boring girl” ?

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By *ighorn2006Man  over a year ago

Ceredigion / N France

Wow ! This thread provoked slot of interest and opinion.

Seriously ... life is full of compromises but,

I'm 56 and still not happily settled because the grass always looked greener and I've never met that special woman who was the complete package.

Sex is a very important part of the relationship, it is the bond. I can get friends, mates, those with other common interests down the pub, at work or at a enthusiasts / hobby club.

It's early days for you the OP and sex gets better as a relationship grows, push her boundaries, see what desires hide beneath, if it's not there, then don't waste your life flogging a dead horse, life's to short.

At the end of the day you'll seek enjoyment elsewhere and the relationship will end in a bad way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Wow ! This thread provoked slot of interest and opinion.

Seriously ... life is full of compromises but,

I'm 56 and still not happily settled because the grass always looked greener and I've never met that special woman who was the complete package.

Sex is a very important part of the relationship, it is the bond. I can get friends, mates, those with other common interests down the pub, at work or at a enthusiasts / hobby club.

It's early days for you the OP and sex gets better as a relationship grows, push her boundaries, see what desires hide beneath, if it's not there, then don't waste your life flogging a dead horse, life's to short.

At the end of the day you'll seek enjoyment elsewhere and the relationship will end in a bad way. "

Thanks for the advice dude.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds like you won't be fully satisfied in that relationship and stray so just wind it down and walk away and find someone you find more exciting as that sounds as though its what you need.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?

How about you introduce a bit of kink into your sex life, why is it up to her to spice things up. Start of slow, tie her hands together, blindfold her, ask her what she likes etc. She’s probably telling her mates what a shit shag you are at this very minute. It takes two to tango.

Vanilla doesn't mean shit shag btw - it's a question of compatibility, I consider myself very vanilla and I've had some fabulous 'vanilla' lovers.

I didn’t say it did flower, he did by saying the sex was boring as she was vanilla. "

I was more reacting to your comment that she was telling her mates he was a shit shag because the sex was vanilla! I luuuurve the vanilla sex I get!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London

My take is that if you're in the early stages of a relationship and have a profile on here and not either deleted the profile or told the other person about it, then the relationship isn't going anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My take is that if you're in the early stages of a relationship and have a profile on here and not either deleted the profile or told the other person about it, then the relationship isn't going anywhere. "

We’ve dated a few times that’s all. We haven’t been married for twenty years and I’m a love rat. It seems that’s the way it’s been taken.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

You said she's OK looking and sex with her is boring !

What responses did you expect ?

I hope she has read this and drops you, she can do so much better .

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London


"My take is that if you're in the early stages of a relationship and have a profile on here and not either deleted the profile or told the other person about it, then the relationship isn't going anywhere.

We’ve dated a few times that’s all. We haven’t been married for twenty years and I’m a love rat. It seems that’s the way it’s been taken. "

If you've dated a few times and are thinking of turning it into a proper relationship, you have three choices re swinging.

1. Tell her you swing and invite her to join you.

2. Decide to be monogamous and delete your profile.

3. Keep your profile a secret.

I wouldn't recommend. 3.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You said she's OK looking and sex with her is boring !

What responses did you expect ?

I hope she has read this and drops you, she can do so much better ."

WRONG!!!!!!!!!

Read the post properly before you jump with your nasty vulgar reply.

“Sex between US is a bit boring” Meaning we’re not on the same wavelength sexually.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

OMG are you for real! !!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!"
me yes cmon check my pics on brasseye

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!me yes cmon check my pics on brasseye "

I meant the OP. ... lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!me yes cmon check my pics on brasseye

I meant the OP. ... lol"
omg wrong end of the branch again

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!me yes cmon check my pics on brasseye

I meant the OP. ... lolomg wrong end of the branch again "

He said my opinion was vulgar!

Like i care what he thinks !

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!"

Yes.

I never said “sex with her is boring” as you spectacularly got wrong.

I said “ sex between us is a bit boring” meaning we’re not on the same wavelength. Try to read posts and understand them before you jump in in future.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"OMG are you for real! !!!

Yes.

I never said “sex with her is boring” as you spectacularly got wrong.

I said “ sex between us is a bit boring” meaning we’re not on the same wavelength. Try to read posts and understand them before you jump in in future. "

Oh i totally understood your post OP.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet. "

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X"

ah don't worry about it. some people read text in different wants but I know what you meant.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet. "

Plasters don't fix broken legs

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman  over a year ago

your imagination

I think it's commendable that you're actually questioning it OP, and not just blindly 'pushing in time' with someone who you may ultimately end up hurting further down the line.

The fact that you ARE questioning it is probably answer enough.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Plasters don't fix broken legs"

I think you will find it actually does which is why the cast is made out of plaster.

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By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X"

But please bear in mind that she might not actually be 'in a shell' at all - she may just be someone who would find HER total sexual fulfillment in a way that does not involve anything from Ann Summers, indeed, who might find the virtually the whole contents of that place totally tacky and be really turned off by the fact that you want something more kinky than she naturally is. I did the BDSM quiz and came out strongly primal/vanilla/submissive - that IS indeed what I am, and with another who feels the same the sex is anything but boring for years on end I assure you!

Just be aware stealth 'spicing up' tactics may backfire _ I would prefer someone talked openly to me to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X

But please bear in mind that she might not actually be 'in a shell' at all - she may just be someone who would find HER total sexual fulfillment in a way that does not involve anything from Ann Summers, indeed, who might find the virtually the whole contents of that place totally tacky and be really turned off by the fact that you want something more kinky than she naturally is. I did the BDSM quiz and came out strongly primal/vanilla/submissive - that IS indeed what I am, and with another who feels the same the sex is anything but boring for years on end I assure you!

Just be aware stealth 'spicing up' tactics may backfire _ I would prefer someone talked openly to me to be honest."

Brilliant. I love your comments. Your a very intelligent lady. I wished I could have asked your advice privately. Thank you very much. X

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X"

I said the same thing ages

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS  over a year ago

west here ford shire

Relationships are not just about sex!

My wife’s a bit vanilla but she’s my best friend and I’d never be without her

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X

I said the same thing ages"

....ago?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Really good advice. This is what I was hoping to get back from my very badly worded post. Thank you. X

I said the same thing ages

....ago? "

Yeah that’s the one

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome.

I can honestly say this is the worst piece of advice. If my boyfriend sat me down and started rhyming off all those things and gave me ultimatums I'd feel like shit. I'd also be off. Have a chat about things you want to try in the bedroom fair enough but big long discussion about the whole relationship just because she's not a stunner. No way x"

I've not mentioned ultimatums or having the discussion because she's not a stunner and when I say "encourage her to do the same" I mean talk in the same way. I think anybody who's thinking of entering a relationship they want to last more than a couple of months should be talking like this, why rely on what ifs and maybes. If he and his ladyfriend have a full and frank discussion they both know where they stand, as it is he's in a quandary and asking people who haven't heard her side of things how to proceed in one of the most intimate areas of his life. I truly struggle to comprehend how that's a better option.

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By *eliciousladyWoman  over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"You said she's OK looking and sex with her is boring !

What responses did you expect ?

I hope she has read this and drops you, she can do so much better .

WRONG!!!!!!!!!

Read the post properly before you jump with your nasty vulgar reply.

“Sex between US is a bit boring” Meaning we’re not on the same wavelength sexually. "

As a female myself, being told by a regular date that sex with me was boring, I would assume that means I am also boring..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome.

I can honestly say this is the worst piece of advice. If my boyfriend sat me down and started rhyming off all those things and gave me ultimatums I'd feel like shit. I'd also be off. Have a chat about things you want to try in the bedroom fair enough but big long discussion about the whole relationship just because she's not a stunner. No way x

I've not mentioned ultimatums or having the discussion because she's not a stunner and when I say "encourage her to do the same" I mean talk in the same way. I think anybody who's thinking of entering a relationship they want to last more than a couple of months should be talking like this, why rely on what ifs and maybes. If he and his ladyfriend have a full and frank discussion they both know where they stand, as it is he's in a quandary and asking people who haven't heard her side of things how to proceed in one of the most intimate areas of his life. I truly struggle to comprehend how that's a better option."

I know what your saying. I just think the whole sitting down and talking about what you want long term with someone he's only known a few weeks. If it was me I'd be what the fuck is happening. It should be fun and no drama and it should come naturally. Hopefully it will for you OP x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You said she's OK looking and sex with her is boring !

What responses did you expect ?

I hope she has read this and drops you, she can do so much better .

WRONG!!!!!!!!!

Read the post properly before you jump with your nasty vulgar reply.

“Sex between US is a bit boring” Meaning we’re not on the same wavelength sexually.

As a female myself, being told by a regular date that sex with me was boring, I would assume that means I am also boring.."

She’s not a regular date...where did I say that?

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By *eliciousladyWoman  over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

By asking if you should settle or move on does imply she’s a regular date (at least it does to me)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"By asking if you should settle or move on does imply she’s a regular date (at least it does to me)

"

No she’s not a regular date. We’ve been out a handful of times. As with anyone who’s been on a handful of dates I’m trying to decide if there’s a future for us.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome.

I can honestly say this is the worst piece of advice. If my boyfriend sat me down and started rhyming off all those things and gave me ultimatums I'd feel like shit. I'd also be off. Have a chat about things you want to try in the bedroom fair enough but big long discussion about the whole relationship just because she's not a stunner. No way x

I've not mentioned ultimatums or having the discussion because she's not a stunner and when I say "encourage her to do the same" I mean talk in the same way. I think anybody who's thinking of entering a relationship they want to last more than a couple of months should be talking like this, why rely on what ifs and maybes. If he and his ladyfriend have a full and frank discussion they both know where they stand, as it is he's in a quandary and asking people who haven't heard her side of things how to proceed in one of the most intimate areas of his life. I truly struggle to comprehend how that's a better option.

I know what your saying. I just think the whole sitting down and talking about what you want long term with someone he's only known a few weeks. If it was me I'd be what the fuck is happening. It should be fun and no drama and it should come naturally. Hopefully it will for you OP x"

To be honest if he's not thinking of long term I don't know what the issue is. He could just settle for the time being, plenty do. The trouble is the time being has a habit of becoming long term and because he's settled it will become more difficult to express what he really wanted out of a relationship. I hope it works out for the op too.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"By asking if you should settle or move on does imply she’s a regular date (at least it does to me)

No she’s not a regular date. We’ve been out a handful of times. As with anyone who’s been on a handful of dates I’m trying to decide if there’s a future for us. "

Can you see yourself with this woman if nothing changes?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Try talking to her OP. Maybe she feels the same?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"By asking if you should settle or move on does imply she’s a regular date (at least it does to me)

No she’s not a regular date. We’ve been out a handful of times. As with anyone who’s been on a handful of dates I’m trying to decide if there’s a future for us. "

How many times have you fucked? Women are usually more careful about 'admitting' they like sex because many men will call them slags for it. She might be feisty once she trusts you.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Try talking to her OP. Maybe she feels the same? "

It seems that talking to a partner is one of the least favoured options. I don't know any other way of finding out the state of a relationship but people are very reluctant to do it.

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By *prilprincessTV/TS  over a year ago

Swindon

Move

Unless you're comfortable with spending rest of your life here?

You're here because you're after different sex than vanilla, it wont go away

And, putting it bluntly, you will hurt her more if you stay with her

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By *prilprincessTV/TS  over a year ago

Swindon

Because it never works

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thank you ladies. I feel a bit kicked and battered after this thread. I think I need a lay down.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Jesus! Give the guy a break. I’ve seen worse threads!

Ok.

Op.

You already express dissatisfaction with this relationship. My suggestion is that you sit down with this woman who makes you laugh (a huge plus) and have an in depth discussion about what you *both* really want long-term.

If sex is really important to you, tell her and tell her what type of sex you like and get dissatisfied if you don't get. Encourage her to do the same.

Talk about the things that are non negotiable to you both and the points where compromise would be possible.

If at the end of this discussion both of you feel its possible to move forward together, great!

Asking a bunch of strangers if a relationship is right for you will not give you a useful answer.

Good luck to both of you whatever the outcome.

I can honestly say this is the worst piece of advice. If my boyfriend sat me down and started rhyming off all those things and gave me ultimatums I'd feel like shit. I'd also be off. Have a chat about things you want to try in the bedroom fair enough but big long discussion about the whole relationship just because she's not a stunner. No way x

I've not mentioned ultimatums or having the discussion because she's not a stunner and when I say "encourage her to do the same" I mean talk in the same way. I think anybody who's thinking of entering a relationship they want to last more than a couple of months should be talking like this, why rely on what ifs and maybes. If he and his ladyfriend have a full and frank discussion they both know where they stand, as it is he's in a quandary and asking people who haven't heard her side of things how to proceed in one of the most intimate areas of his life. I truly struggle to comprehend how that's a better option.

I know what your saying. I just think the whole sitting down and talking about what you want long term with someone he's only known a few weeks. If it was me I'd be what the fuck is happening. It should be fun and no drama and it should come naturally. Hopefully it will for you OP x

To be honest if he's not thinking of long term I don't know what the issue is. He could just settle for the time being, plenty do. The trouble is the time being has a habit of becoming long term and because he's settled it will become more difficult to express what he really wanted out of a relationship. I hope it works out for the op too."

Yeah if he's not getting the buzz in the beginning it's not very likely he will months down the line and it'll be ten times harder to have that chat then. Not many times I change my opinion but I see it from a totally different view now x

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"Thank you ladies. I feel a bit kicked and battered after this thread. I think I need a lay down."

Put a cold compress on your forehead and come back to fight another day.

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By *imiUKMan  over a year ago

Hereford

There's a lot of people who live in glass houses throwing bricks around here.

Of the women on here, how many of you have discussed your sex life with your friends (friends who presumably also know your partner), because that is far worse.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"There's a lot of people who live in glass houses throwing bricks around here.

Of the women on here, how many of you have discussed your sex life with your friends (friends who presumably also know your partner), because that is far worse."

I can honestly say I have never discussed my sex life with my friends. They'd be horrified or jealous.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"rather than keeping it a bit boring, why don't you try and kink it up a bit. take her to Ann Summer's and see what her reaction is like. tell her what you would like her to wear. Take the lead on it a bit more and you may get her out of her sexual shell.

don't forget if you haven't been together very long than it may take her a while to feel completely comfortable to do it all yet.

Plasters don't fix broken legs

I think you will find it actually does which is why the cast is made out of plaster. "

All the women I had good chemistry with, the chemistry was there on day 1. No amount of talking about your feelings is going to make the sex anything other than average at best.

The wise man builds his house upon the rock. Not the sand just to show off some feat of engineering.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thank you mate. Good answer.

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By *ady LickWoman  over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"There's a lot of people who live in glass houses throwing bricks around here.

Of the women on here, how many of you have discussed your sex life with your friends (friends who presumably also know your partner), because that is far worse."

Yes, I have, not in massive detail but my best friends are worth their weight in gold and I trust them 100% Why wouldn't you confide in close friends?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I haven't read the whole thread.

I haven't settled either OP.

The older I get the more at peace I am with being single.

It is lonely sometimes but I am not the type of person that needs to have people around all the time.

I've never found my "soul mate "

Some people don't- they're content with settling.

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By *ngelina4uWoman  over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton


"I’m 45 and far too fussy for my own good which is why I’ve been single for the last five years. I’ve met a girl who likes me a lot. She’s funny and makes me laugh like no other girl I’ve met. She’s not classically beautiful but ok looking. The problem is the sex between us is not great, in fact it’s a bit boring. She’s very vanilla in that way. Do I move on or settle?"

Go for it.

Pipe

Slippers

Log fire

Labrador

Coco

Wifey cooking the roast.

Its a compelling list.

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