FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why stay in a sexless marriage?
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"TLTR......but Marriage is not all about sex, there's loads of other things to consider." | |||
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"Gave up reading this but what I eat is this. When you first meet someone you dress nicely, you make an effort, you say and do nice stuff. Over time you end up in track suits or fluffy pyjamas and grunt at each other. Life gets in the way. You need to make an effort, date nights, woo each other, cuddle up. Sex is an intimate act and needs for both parties to feel they want to engage in it, it starts within foreplay and that's not all sexual. If sex is so important and the other person doesn't feel the same then I, personally, would leave as life's short and affairs always end up hurting someone " My husband and I did that exactly. Being best buddies wasn’t enough in the end. | |||
"Gave up reading this but what I see is this. When you first meet someone you dress nicely, you make an effort, you say and do nice stuff. Over time you end up in track suits or fluffy pyjamas and grunt at each other. Life gets in the way. You need to make an effort, date nights, woo each other, cuddle up. Sex is an intimate act and needs for both parties to feel they want to engage in it, it starts within foreplay and that's not all sexual. If sex is so important and the other person doesn't feel the same then I, personally, would leave as life's short and affairs always end up hurting someone " Where did the eat at the start come from!! | |||
"Gave up reading this but what I eat is this. When you first meet someone you dress nicely, you make an effort, you say and do nice stuff. Over time you end up in track suits or fluffy pyjamas and grunt at each other. Life gets in the way. You need to make an effort, date nights, woo each other, cuddle up. Sex is an intimate act and needs for both parties to feel they want to engage in it, it starts within foreplay and that's not all sexual. If sex is so important and the other person doesn't feel the same then I, personally, would leave as life's short and affairs always end up hurting someone " | |||
"Gave up reading this but what I eat is this. When you first meet someone you dress nicely, you make an effort, you say and do nice stuff. Over time you end up in track suits or fluffy pyjamas and grunt at each other. Life gets in the way. You need to make an effort, date nights, woo each other, cuddle up. Sex is an intimate act and needs for both parties to feel they want to engage in it, it starts within foreplay and that's not all sexual. ... " | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. " I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. " And? | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. " 77 people isn’t a lot at all. | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. 77 people isn’t a lot at all. " Very true, it’s not a final and conclusive argument, just an opener that’s slightly better researched than “she’s getting it from somewhere else, mate” | |||
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"So people take time out of their day to message a stranger privately and berate you for being married ? It's a strange old world " they do it publicly in forums to, marriage and staying together is a complex subject, many stay together for their children and the financial ties and also because they actually like/love the person they married and I would say that if you could seperate the act of sex from emotion then playing away is fine if you can't that's another story. For me sex is an emotion it embodies a closeness to a human being a woman you not only fancy but like as a person, so I had to leave my sexless marriage but not because of sex in isolation, a lot of people here have ended up here because a partner cheated but we are all different and react differently, for me if a person an adult wants to play away then that is their decision and not for me to judge them or anyone else, they can make an informed decision not to meet you but only if you admit to it. However nobody has a right to be personally abusive if you don't like it stay away, obviously in the forum you can discuss and give argument but still avoiding personal attacks everyone has a right to do what they think is right for them. | |||
"Sorry lost the will to live trying to read this" Maybe he should have done a thought-provoking kiss, fuck, avoid thread, eh? Good work OP. | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. 77 people isn’t a lot at all. Very true, it’s not a final and conclusive argument, just an opener that’s slightly better researched than “she’s getting it from somewhere else, mate”" Haha, that comment. Well yes, I agree. Although nobody knows anyone’s circumstances and the way I see it is, if one half of the partnership can cheat and hide it from their other well, then the other half can do it effectively too. Might not be the case, but it might be! I don’t condone cheating or meet married men knowingly, but I don’t understand the need for people to send abusive message to others for their choices. It’s madness. | |||
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"I read it all OP. It's interesting. I read it all too. It is the opinions of 77 people who filled out an online survey 10 years ago. 77 people isn’t a lot at all. Very true, it’s not a final and conclusive argument, just an opener that’s slightly better researched than “she’s getting it from somewhere else, mate”" That's how I read it. As different opinions/ reasons. % stats mean nothing. | |||
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" I'm not sure if you're posting to debate or justify to yourself? Ultimately you have 24 verifications. Has that improved your marriage now that your sex life is active? " | |||
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" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! " My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. | |||
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"That's why I'll probably never get married, it's like having a load of furniture blocking a fire door..." If my kids were in a fire then I'd rather die with them than be the lone survivor. The use your own anology. | |||
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"That's why I'll probably never get married, it's like having a load of furniture blocking a fire door... If my kids were in a fire then I'd rather die with them than be the lone survivor. The use your own anology. " I don't have those either | |||
"That's why I'll probably never get married, it's like having a load of furniture blocking a fire door... If my kids were in a fire then I'd rather die with them than be the lone survivor. The use your own anology. I don't have those either " Then I wouldn't bother getting married if you don't want them. Kids are the only serious case I can make for why you'd want to get married in the first place, as a man. | |||
"That's why I'll probably never get married, it's like having a load of furniture blocking a fire door... If my kids were in a fire then I'd rather die with them than be the lone survivor. The use your own anology. I don't have those either Then I wouldn't bother getting married if you don't want them. Kids are the only serious case I can make for why you'd want to get married in the first place, as a man. " Yeah, out of all the friends I had growing up, my parents were the only ones still together when I got into my teens, and at least two thirds of my friends who got married in their 20's are already divorced, it doesn't make it something I want to do. | |||
"Eh? 80% had no children but 47% stayed for the children??? " Was it 47% of The remaining 20%? So less than 10%? | |||
"Eh? 80% had no children but 47% stayed for the children??? Was it 47% of The remaining 20%? So less than 10%? " I don't think so, I thought it might have been a typo from the OP ? | |||
"This was really interesting. I think that one partner unilaterally ending the sex lives of both can have a devestating effect. Reasons are many and complex but the sense of loss is immense. Adam - I’m shocked you get abusive messages. That’s awful. " I am not.. some peoples minds are infinitely narrow and seem to take pleasure in giving out abuse... Maybe that is the reason for them being single in the first place, they may say personal choice, well personal choice is why some decide to stay in a sexless relationship. Every individual circumstance is personal to those involved with many factors complicating the situation. Nothing in life is a black and white as we would like to think and this is just another shade of the greys (or whatever colour you prefer from the dulux colour chart) that makes up our personal lives. | |||
"This was really interesting. I think that one partner unilaterally ending the sex lives of both can have a devestating effect. Reasons are many and complex but the sense of loss is immense. Adam - I’m shocked you get abusive messages. That’s awful. I am not.. some peoples minds are infinitely narrow and seem to take pleasure in giving out abuse... Maybe that is the reason for them being single in the first place, they may say personal choice, well personal choice is why some decide to stay in a sexless relationship. Every individual circumstance is personal to those involved with many factors complicating the situation. Nothing in life is a black and white as we would like to think and this is just another shade of the greys (or whatever colour you prefer from the dulux colour chart) that makes up our personal lives." | |||
"Eh? 80% had no children but 47% stayed for the children??? " maybe highlighting the inconsistencies of statistics | |||
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" I'm not sure if you're posting to debate or justify to yourself? Ultimately you have 24 verifications. Has that improved your marriage now that your sex life is active? Every case is individual with no one solution I guess." I posted it as a debate and to emphasise your last point - there’s no one solution. Being on here has had some effect on my marriage because it’s had a positive effect on how I can see myself. After a dozen or more years of being shown that I wasn’t sexually attractive I believed it myself. Now I know that’s not true. | |||
" I'm not sure if you're posting to debate or justify to yourself? Ultimately you have 24 verifications. Has that improved your marriage now that your sex life is active? Every case is individual with no one solution I guess. I posted it as a debate and to emphasise your last point - there’s no one solution. Being on here has had some effect on my marriage because it’s had a positive effect on how I can see myself. After a dozen or more years of being shown that I wasn’t sexually attractive I believed it myself. Now I know that’s not true." Dude that 80% / 47% is driving me nuts, please clarify | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. " Saying people are stupid probably turns more off to your point than anything, which is a shame because what you say needs further exploration. More understanding of expectations would go a long way, I agree. However could you really be held to something you said 10+ years ago? I might have said I’d always have a smile on my face when I was 25 but after a few years of sleepless nights with children, problems with parents and a job that grinds the life out of you, your outlook might change. I think I would look a bit childish waving a bit of paper around that says “twice a week and that’s that” | |||
" Dude that 80% / 47% is driving me nuts, please clarify " I’m not sure I can check that without the source material, but as so many were aged 35-44 I think 80% having children is a bit low? | |||
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"But what about the married women on here I will bet my last pound that they don’t get abuse about being married.... " I have! And I’m here with full consent and encouragement from my husband | |||
"But what about the married women on here I will bet my last pound that they don’t get abuse about being married.... " Everyone gets abuse here, it's fairly dished out | |||
"But what about the married women on here I will bet my last pound that they don’t get abuse about being married.... I have! And I’m here with full consent and encouragement from my husband " Let’s see if he replies. This trend of “What about the other gender” is getting old now. Anyone who feels the need to send abuse to someone else for their choices needs their head checking, several times. | |||
" Dude that 80% / 47% is driving me nuts, please clarify I’m not sure I can check that without the source material, but as so many were aged 35-44 I think 80% having children is a bit low?" How are 36 (47%) staying in an involuntary sexless marriage when only 15 of the 77 (20%) have kids? | |||
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" Dude that 80% / 47% is driving me nuts, please clarify I’m not sure I can check that without the source material, but as so many were aged 35-44 I think 80% having children is a bit low? How are 36 (47%) staying in an involuntary sexless marriage when only 15 of the 77 (20%) have kids? " How are 36 (47%) staying in an involuntary sexless marriage for the kids when only 15 of the 77 (20%) have kids? | |||
"It’s just an observation honestly it’s the first time I’ve heard a woman gets abuse for being married " Seriously? | |||
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" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. " This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. | |||
"I read it all OP. It's interesting. " Likewise. Interesting to see some science on here. | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. " In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. | |||
" In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. " The 1950s phoned, they’d like their family values back | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. " You wouldn't enjoy that. Surely you'd want a woman to ride you like mad. Tease you after a hard day at work with stockings and a bj. 5 minutes fucking a sack of potatoes isn't fun. So my ex said. | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. You wouldn't enjoy that. Surely you'd want a woman to ride you like mad. Tease you after a hard day at work with stockings and a bj. 5 minutes fucking a sack of potatoes isn't fun. So my ex said. " I'd rather she did all that with another guy while I recorded it | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. You wouldn't enjoy that. Surely you'd want a woman to ride you like mad. Tease you after a hard day at work with stockings and a bj. 5 minutes fucking a sack of potatoes isn't fun. So my ex said. I'd rather she did all that with another guy while I recorded it " Yeah I want a wife like that too. | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. You wouldn't enjoy that. Surely you'd want a woman to ride you like mad. Tease you after a hard day at work with stockings and a bj. 5 minutes fucking a sack of potatoes isn't fun. So my ex said. I'd rather she did all that with another guy while I recorded it Yeah I want a wife like that too. " Only peasants have sex with their own wife once an heir is produced | |||
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"After yet another bout of abuse from people on private messages concerning me being married yet on here, I thought this research might be interesting to read. There are plenty of people who see this situation as black or white: you’re happy so you stay together. You’re unhappy so just leave. Whilst this is sometimes well meant it’s often used as a way of putting someone down - the married person must be so muddled that he can’t even see this simple answer. Here's some actual research on why sexual people stay in relationships when there's no sex - it's a published, peer reviewed survey of 77 long term cohabiting male-female relationships. They used social exchange theory (basically people weighing up pros and cons) but they're emphatically not saying this is the only way to look at it, and encourage other research. They focus on sex, but acknowledge other factors can be involved. It's only available on academic research libraries, so this is a summary. (If you do have access to academic research, the paper's The Decision to Remain in an Involuntarily Celibate Relationship, Denise A. Donnelly and Elisabeth O. Burgess, Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol 70, No 2 (May 2008), pp 519-535) Previous surveys showed around 16% of long term couples had 'little to no' sexual activity When relations (in general) are unequal, individuals can become distressed and attempt to limit costs, increase rewards, or find alternatives As a general trend, sex declines over time in relationships This can be caused by 'stressors' such as late-term pregnancy and post-natal period, time demands like work, children, ageing parents, illness (physical or mental), religious/moral guilt Lower levels of sexual activity are correlated with unhappiness, though less so as couples age, and it's hard to unpick cause and effect Lack of sexual satisfaction can cause a drop in or end to sexual activity So can affairs - though again it's hard to unpick cause and and effect Lack of sex correlates with the mental health issues for the partner who wants sex, including low self esteem and self worth, feelings of rejection and depression, and sexual and emotional frustration. The costs are high and make alternatives seem more appealing. Again, it's a correlation not a simple causation. Romanticism, bonding, fondness, lower negativity about the relationship, and 'greater perceptions of "we-ness"' make couples feel the relationship is fair - ie neither side is contributing or taking much more than the other. This study looked at: rewards and costs - what are the pleasures and pains alternatives - what else is available fairness - is one side contributing more than the other investments - how much time and effort has already been put in prescriptions - ie societal expectations They were researching four issues: how do relationships become involuntarily celibate? what are the consequences for the involuntarily celibate partner? why do they stay? what coping strategies do they use? They defined 'involuntary celibacy' as having no 'pleasurable interpersonal physical interaction of a sexual or erotic nature' their partner for six months, despite wanting it, in relationships of at least a year The participants were 18 to over 65, but mostly 35-44, college education, professional and white. 95% were straight (the others bisexual) 80% had no children. They're not claiming a random, generalisable results because the sample was selected online. It's about interpreting the survey results to get insights for further research. The results, in summary (Respondents could choose multiple options, so the percentages don't necessarily add up to 100%) For most couples, sex slowed down rather than stopped abruptly due to partner's lack of interest, relationship problems, changed physical appearance, addictions, illness, or affairs 94% of the partners not having sex said they strongly wanted a sexual relationship For the partner wanting sex, it resulted in frustration (80%), depression (34%), rejection (23%), difficulty concentrating (26%) and low self esteem (35%) This was particularly so when the involuntarily celibate partner perceived that other people in similar situations were in a more equitable partnership Some stopped attempting to initiate entirely over multiple rejections 47% said their ideal relationship would be with their partner if they could improve the sexual component. They talked about friendship, shared history, despite the years of frustration. Men were more likely to stay because of their 'investment' to date. 12% said they stayed because of lack of alternatives, including feeling 'maybe this is as good as it gets'. 74% stayed because of love 47% stayed because of children 39% because of a shared finances 54% stayed because of the commitment to marriage 17% stayed for religious reasons Coping strategies invest energy elsewhere - 51% spent more time with other people, hobbies, or spent more time at work find alternative sexual outlets - 79% masturbated more (16% using porn, 26% increasing fantasisies); 14% cybersex, 13% phone sex, 26% physical affairs compartmentalise their lives - ie not thinking about it - 13% therapy - 33% although they said it didn't help (though if it had, they wouldn't be sexless so they wouldn't have been asked). give up - 35%. They saw the situation as permanent and irreversible. The researchers concluded that most participants felt or acted as if their investments outweighed the expenses of leaving. Social context was important for women in particular. Some celibates (the researchers' term, let's not debate definitions here...) stayed because of companionship, love and friendship, even though they'd like regular sex. ---- In many ways, it's slowly and painfully working out the bleedin' obvious, but it's good to have some actual data, rather than everybody's personal impressions." Learnt a bit here... Ty for taking the time out to do this. | |||
" I firmly believe that if people had more candid conversations about sex, sex drive, opinions on monogamy etc before committing to a serious relationship- there’d be a lot less affairs and heartbreak! My goodness this. Every other week a single guy starts a thread about this subject. Every time I ask "So what expectations were set and agreed about sex before the marriage?" Then there's no reply or they don't seem to understand the concept. Never has anyone replied "Well we agreed it would always happen at least twice a week but she suddenly changed her mind one summers day". I get that not everyone is going to write a full blown marriage agreement, though it's a great idea, but most don't even discuss it. I feel sorry for people who get in this situation, but i think they are largely stupid for falling into the trap. No offence to anyone. This is exactly why I'll never have a relationship with someone off this site. They are likely to be highly sexed and expect the same. If my sex drive decreases I'll get cheated on or dumped. I'd rather stay single. Also they're better off finding someone else more compatible - not me. In a marriage, you bring the sex and i bring the money. I have to get off my backside and go make that money which takes anything from 50-70 hours a week. You just need to lie down on your back for two sessions each lasting approximately five minutes, then think of England. There are few trades in life where you can exchange 10 minutes of your Labour, maybe less if you tickle my balls, for 60 hours of mine. You wouldn't enjoy that. Surely you'd want a woman to ride you like mad. Tease you after a hard day at work with stockings and a bj. 5 minutes fucking a sack of potatoes isn't fun. So my ex said. I'd rather she did all that with another guy while I recorded it Yeah I want a wife like that too. Only peasants have sex with their own wife once an heir is produced " | |||