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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I heared something tonight that made me chuckle.

This bloke didnt win a prize in the raffle, turned to his friend and said he has no luck in that sort of thing, "if he fell in a bucket of tits, he'd end up comming out sucking his thumb"

What have you heard that made you chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The Italians say:

"He's so unlucky it would rain on his ass, if he was sitting down..."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. "

Like it

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By *hite SnakeMan  over a year ago

leeds

I could'nt win an arse kicking contest against a one legged man.

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By *ornyHorwichCpl aka HHCCouple  over a year ago

horwich

He'd shag the crack of dawn if He could get up early enough !

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

the sights ya see when you haven't got ur gun

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By *ushroom7Man  over a year ago

Bradford

he has all the charisma of a caravan park, out of season.

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By *eakcoupleCouple  over a year ago

peak district

"He thinks his cock's just to stir his tea with!" a drill Sergeant's parade ground insult from years ago - not directed to me than heavens, I knew what mine was for!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

he/she has got a face like a torn clog

he/she has got a face like a slapped arse

he/she is as fow as our back gate

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

i've not stopped all day, i've been running round like a c*nt on castors

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple  over a year ago

Lisburn

Couldn't fight way out of a wet paper bag

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If you fall over dont come running to me.

Take your Nottingham gloves off.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We had a pal who had an unusually large head

My mate used to say 'He's got a head like a fifty bob cabbage'

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By *un_JuiceCouple  over a year ago

Nr Chester

Being a tad forgetful.

"it's a good job my bollocks are in a bag"

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By *yrdwomanWoman  over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"he/she has got a face like a torn clog

he/she has got a face like a slapped arse

he/she is as fow as our back gate "

My ex used to say 'she has a face like a rottweiller sucking a wasp'. Not about me though!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If my aunty was my uncle she'd have bollocks...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

'There's less to him/her than meets the eye'

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By *illbillMan  over a year ago

dublin

it was a mean old rabbit who only ever lived in one hole...

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By *illbillMan  over a year ago

dublin

im so hungry id eat a farmers arse through a bar gate

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By *oodnvampCouple  over a year ago

beverley

These are all hilarious!!! I'm just sat giggling at this thread!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple  over a year ago

hexham


"I heared something tonight that made me chuckle.

This bloke didnt win a prize in the raffle, turned to his friend and said he has no luck in that sort of thing, "if he fell in a bucket of tits, he'd end up comming out sucking his thumb"

What have you heard that made you chuckle"

My gran had hundreds...2 of my favourites were...

She is no better than she should be

Fur coat and no knickers...

both about a certain type of woman.

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By *unwmidscplCouple  over a year ago

birmingham

she/he has a got a nose to pull a ragman up the hill

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"he/she has got a face like a torn clog

he/she has got a face like a slapped arse

he/she is as fow as our back gate

My ex used to say 'she has a face like a rottweiller sucking a wasp'. Not about me though!"

i think the derivative round here is 'she's got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle'

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"she/he has a got a nose to pull a ragman up the hill"

or for someone with a big nose

'got a face you could chop wood with'

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By *oodnvampCouple  over a year ago

beverley

You make your own luck!

And

What goes around comes around!

Guess I believe in karma!

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By *oodnvampCouple  over a year ago

beverley

Oh and for when someones pissed you off...

I hope your next shit's a hedgehog!

Always makes me chuckle that one does!

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