FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > the attention
the attention
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
No it just gives them lots of choice and many messages to wade through |
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
Yes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
No |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
It can give *some* that view - if they allow themselves to believe it. It can have the same effect on *some* men.
What's wrong with people thinking they can get what they want? If they're a twat about it and a twat to others that's not good. But if it's not harming others and giving them the confidence to go and do stuff and talk to people, I don't see what's wrong with it. |
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
I think some get carried away and have delusions of grandeur. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, because volume doesn't necessarily mean I find what I'm after. And it's pretty clear a lot of those messages come from a completely scattergun approach where the fact I'm female is enough. "
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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago
Chester/Wirral |
"No, but then I don’t get the volume of messages some couples and single ladies get. X "
Sometimes it is just posturing, saying they get loads of messages. When compared to others it isn't loads at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No, but then I don’t get the volume of messages some couples and single ladies get. X Sometimes it is just posturing, saying they get loads of messages. When compared to others it isn't loads at all."
I thinks it's a bit of a myth, this, we get hundreds of messsge a day..unless you are uploading new pics and making yourself super active on here on a daily basis, and even then I can not see it in the hundreds..a lot use it has to why they do not answer messages....we get an average of around 5-10 messages a day.. |
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
OP, its not just females and couples that receive lots of mail,
I am drowning in messages, at least two or three a day...
I struggle to cope with the sheer volume, I get nervous sweats and break out in hives if it reaches five in a day...
I tell you, I don't get time to start feeling deluded while being deluged with messages preluding to bump and grinding...  |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
It can skew the view of some definitely.
I quite regularly punch above my weight and don't deny it, but I don't demand only 'beautiful people' need to message me.
I am one that gets a LOT of messages too, but I host parties in clubs as well so it's to be expected, but rarely whinge regards to it unless I am truly drowning in crap FAF messages which can be aggravating.....  |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
"You should be here to get what you want surely? If you’re not getting what you want you’re settling for less ... but what do I know? 
Do you expect to get it though?"
I expect nothing in life. I hope for the best generally and if it works out that’s great. On here it’s just a bit of a giggle I really don’t take it too seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
Its only ever suggested by attention seekers imo, so in their world I am guessing they have an over inflated ego which leads them to think they can get anything and anyone they want...
For us ordinary folk who recieve perhaps 10-15 messages a day it makes no difference whatsoever |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure the attention makes some people deluded when they first join 
Kid in a sweet shop mentality.
But after a while most realise that getting fifty messages a day from married / attatched men that want to "empty their load " is not flattering  |
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I've seen women say in the forum that their confidence has increased. I've seen women ask (frequently) both directly and indirectly for confidence boosting flattery in the forum and receive it in shedloads. I've seen men ask on behalf of their partner, who is apparently feeling a lack of confidence in her body despite willingly posing for explicit pictures, for confidence boosters and get many positive replies. The same applies to certain couples. Not so much the men when they ask, not sure why .
I think fab gives some an experience that's different to life on the outside. For some this will increase their confidence and for others it will knock it. For most of us it reflects day to day life so confidence levels remain the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
I get hardly any messages, must be doing fab wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It can give *some* that view - if they allow themselves to believe it. It can have the same effect on *some* men.
What's wrong with people thinking they can get what they want? If they're a twat about it and a twat to others that's not good. But if it's not harming others and giving them the confidence to go and do stuff and talk to people, I don't see what's wrong with it."
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
Not in general I think most people are well aware of the imbalance between men and women on here and a good number of men would fuck any wet hole so no reality check needed. |
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"It's often suggested and said ladies and couple's receive lots of messages.
Does receiving this amount of attention) give ladies and couple's a skewed view of reality, a deluded belief that anything they want they can get ?"
No, in fact the exact opposite.
It's pretty obvious the majority havn't even read my profile, and they've sent the exact same message to dozens of other women within a certain radius.
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My confidence has increased. But that's not due to the attention and ridiculous number of messages. It's due to the wonderful people I've met here and working on accepting even my taboo deviant sexual side. If anything the messages just made me feel hounded and worry about some of the people who are apparently out there (in terms of their expectations and ways of talking to random women).
In terms of what I can get, I expect nothing, but I've gone from "I've got no hope" to "nothing ventured, nothing gained". But that's about realising the power dynamic here, which I'm well aware doesn't exist outside this tiny niche. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No because I'm well aware the attention is not solely focused on me. The messages and compliments I receive are likely to also have been given to god knows how many other ladies that day.
I do like the attention I get for my photos, since joining fab I've found I have quite the exhibitionist side to me. But again, I know there are hundreds of others on here with gorgeous photos, it's not a case of being "better" than anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very rarely message anyone me... and especially not some absolute horror chops who reckons she’s Kim Kardashian cos she’s in a couple?!... rather just go on the pull on a Saturday night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think? |
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"Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think? "
Yeah, my main take from Fab is that there are some scary maladjusted people out there who don't know how to talk to people, much less take no for an answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again  "
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though. |
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I think you can tell who is here for an ego boost but the way they post or their profile blurb, personally I recon most ladies look past all the false flattery and praise, there are a few exceptions and if guys want to meet the drama llama’s then go for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even with filters, it gets a bit much after a while. Especially when I’m only on here to find a fwb to give me a lot of attention. Wherever he is, he’s hiding well. |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think?
Yeah, my main take from Fab is that there are some scary maladjusted people out there who don't know how to talk to people, much less take no for an answer. "
I don't knows if I would go as far as maladjusted but would agree some real frustrated hateful people who lash out if things don't go their way. |
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"Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think?
Yeah, my main take from Fab is that there are some scary maladjusted people out there who don't know how to talk to people, much less take no for an answer.
I don't knows if I would go as far as maladjusted but would agree some real frustrated hateful people who lash out if things don't go their way. "
I had a fairly rocky start here, shall we say. Injured myself very badly right after joining. My experience thus take is unusual, but I think those who claimed that I did it on purpose and/or was in hospital to prevent them getting laid, that they'd fuck it better, etc... are either maladjusted or have a sense of humour they might want to contain around strangers. |
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"Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think?
Yeah, my main take from Fab is that there are some scary maladjusted people out there who don't know how to talk to people, much less take no for an answer.
I don't knows if I would go as far as maladjusted but would agree some real frustrated hateful people who lash out if things don't go their way.
I had a fairly rocky start here, shall we say. Injured myself very badly right after joining. My experience thus take is unusual, but I think those who claimed that I did it on purpose and/or was in hospital to prevent them getting laid, that they'd fuck it better, etc... are either maladjusted or have a sense of humour they might want to contain around strangers. "
I think that's a reflection of the internet as a whole. It's possible to say what's really going on in your head out loud (or type it). |
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"Some will be deluded, some will get a confidence lift some will get disheartened and some a reality check but in general there are enough men on here sending abusive messages to women when rejected to give everyone a reality check don't you think?
Yeah, my main take from Fab is that there are some scary maladjusted people out there who don't know how to talk to people, much less take no for an answer.
I don't knows if I would go as far as maladjusted but would agree some real frustrated hateful people who lash out if things don't go their way.
I had a fairly rocky start here, shall we say. Injured myself very badly right after joining. My experience thus take is unusual, but I think those who claimed that I did it on purpose and/or was in hospital to prevent them getting laid, that they'd fuck it better, etc... are either maladjusted or have a sense of humour they might want to contain around strangers.
I think that's a reflection of the internet as a whole. It's possible to say what's really going on in your head out loud (or type it). "
Oh no, I get that too. But I say maladjusted on that basis. It was a bit scary to be honest. (I'm OK now although the injury is long term/ I'm still in rehab, but it has made me much more wary, cynical, and cautious. Not necessarily a bad thing) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ladies and couples that are looking for single males may get loads of messages. The rest of us only have a handful. "
I quite content with a handful.
Although I’m just as happy with two hands full.
Or even more than I can handle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely not. It just makes it harder work sorting through all the rubbish to find the odd few gems on this site.
I've had people say no to me, and that's absolutely fine. I'm certainly not under the impression that I can have anyone. |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though. "
I agree I expect nothing. It's often suggested to guys lower your expectations.
it seems to be advice that isn't given to others it seems to be suggestions about "there's loads of choice " "there's lots of " and from the outside some folk seem to take those suggestion s or because of the volume of messages 'expect' whatever they want will be easily found and easily happen.
Looking for what you seek hoping to find what you seek and if or when you do enjoying that is what fab Is about ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though.
I agree I expect nothing. It's often suggested to guys lower your expectations.
it seems to be advice that isn't given to others it seems to be suggestions about "there's loads of choice " "there's lots of " and from the outside some folk seem to take those suggestion s or because of the volume of messages 'expect' whatever they want will be easily found and easily happen.
Looking for what you seek hoping to find what you seek and if or when you do enjoying that is what fab Is about ..
"
I must say that makes you sound a little bitter! Your "it seems to be advice that isn't given to others" so who are these others as you put it? |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though.
I agree I expect nothing. It's often suggested to guys lower your expectations.
it seems to be advice that isn't given to others it seems to be suggestions about "there's loads of choice " "there's lots of " and from the outside some folk seem to take those suggestion s or because of the volume of messages 'expect' whatever they want will be easily found and easily happen.
Looking for what you seek hoping to find what you seek and if or when you do enjoying that is what fab Is about ..
I must say that makes you sound a little bitter! Your "it seems to be advice that isn't given to others" so who are these others as you put it?"
Nope not bitter. It was a question about expectation.
.my op was about single ladies and couple's I'm happy to include others in the question as well .. although as is often said guys get little attention so my op is unlikely to include them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though.
I agree I expect nothing. It's often suggested to guys lower your expectations.
it seems to be advice that isn't given to others it seems to be suggestions about "there's loads of choice " "there's lots of " and from the outside some folk seem to take those suggestion s or because of the volume of messages 'expect' whatever they want will be easily found and easily happen.
Looking for what you seek hoping to find what you seek and if or when you do enjoying that is what fab Is about ..
I must say that makes you sound a little bitter! Your "it seems to be advice that isn't given to others" so who are these others as you put it?
Nope not bitter. It was a question about expectation.
.my op was about single ladies and couple's I'm happy to include others in the question as well .. although as is often said guys get little attention so my op is unlikely to include them."
So who are the "others" this advice isn't given to then? |
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I think it's true here that women can aim higher than they might do outside Fab, and men may have to consider expanding their search parameters, given the numbers involved. Without my filters on or doing anything special, I'd get way more offers than I could handle, many from those that I'd consider "our of my league". On the other hand, men tend to struggle to be seen.
But I do take each individual on their merits, and am open minded to the extent that I'm comfortable. I've not let this get to my head.
But if we define success as meeting for sex, women can often choose who they like. Men just can't unless they're prepared to wait, sometimes in vain, even if they are a 10 outside Fab. |
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By *good-being-bad OP Man
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Just gets boring and I go back to hiding my profile again
Same here.
Getting a high amount of messages doesn’t mean I “expect” anything on here. Nobody should expect anything. It’s a sense of entitlement.
There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want though.
I agree I expect nothing. It's often suggested to guys lower your expectations.
it seems to be advice that isn't given to others it seems to be suggestions about "there's loads of choice " "there's lots of " and from the outside some folk seem to take those suggestion s or because of the volume of messages 'expect' whatever they want will be easily found and easily happen.
Looking for what you seek hoping to find what you seek and if or when you do enjoying that is what fab Is about ..
I must say that makes you sound a little bitter! Your "it seems to be advice that isn't given to others" so who are these others as you put it?
Nope not bitter. It was a question about expectation.
.my op was about single ladies and couple's I'm happy to include others in the question as well .. although as is often said guys get little attention so my op is unlikely to include them.
So who are the "others" this advice isn't given to then?"
I'm either being a bit thick or you've not read my post (s) others = anyone not mentioned. So when I've said its given to guys but not others that could include anyone else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not read the thread, on a swift lunch break, but I know I wouldn’t necessarily want to change my inbox for theirs!
Whilst it might give some an inflated sense of importance and ego having all those messages also means they’ve got loads and loads of absolute bobbins to wade through too!
I think most are savvy enough to know that for some it’s the pussy they’re after, not the person. So hunting through all of that to find those that really like them for THEM must be a pain in the arse!
My inbox light might not light up very often, but at least I know when it does it’s mainly from people I do want to speak to! |
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"Not read the thread, on a swift lunch break, but I know I wouldn’t necessarily want to change my inbox for theirs!
Whilst it might give some an inflated sense of importance and ego having also those messages it also means they’ve got loads and loads of absolute bobbins to wade through too!
I think most are savvy enough to know that for some it’s the pussy they’re after, not the person. So hunting through all of that to find those that really like them for THEM must be a pain in the arse!
My inbox light might not light up very often, but at least I know when it does it’s mainly from people I do want to speak to! "
Yeah, I turned off messages from single guys and my inbox is so much more pleasant now. Dramatic reduction in volume, and way less abuse. (not all guys, obviously. Just the vast majority of the site is likely to contain the vast majority of the arseholes) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not read the thread, on a swift lunch break, but I know I wouldn’t necessarily want to change my inbox for theirs!
Whilst it might give some an inflated sense of importance and ego having all those messages also means they’ve got loads and loads of absolute bobbins to wade through too!
I think most are savvy enough to know that for some it’s the pussy they’re after, not the person. So hunting through all of that to find those that really like them for THEM must be a pain in the arse!
My inbox light might not light up very often, but at least I know when it does it’s mainly from people I do want to speak to! "
I'm glad I re-checked the thread before I posted. You said it much better than my meandering waffle could have Dan |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I allow messages in my inbox I receive them from all manner of men.
There are some people that think those men are too good for me, or are only messaging me out of ddesperation (and Ive noticed they are those who have a high opinion of themselves).
I know I'm a fat, lazy, middle-aged woman; I'm not delusional.
If a man I consider to be attractive messages me I will meet him, because we both want sex. It's the sex I want, not an ego boost. |
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Some women can get anything they want then they are lucky arent they? you wouldnt want to meet someone who you didnt really want would you. You dont even know the people who send you messages anyway, i have been lucky and met some nice men on here and other sites as well as some not so nice men, thats the way it goes. |
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"It’s not deluded. Us ladies always get what we want  "
Well exactly. Some will get a bit up their own arse for sure, but the ratios on here mean that women CAN pretty much get anything they want in terms of nsa sex, it's just that the majority of us know exactly WHY that is. |
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"I think you can tell who is here for an ego boost but the way they post or their profile blurb, personally I recon most ladies look past all the false flattery and praise, there are a few exceptions and if guys want to meet the drama llama’s then go for it "
Exactly, I sometimes think it is really sad that compliments are totally devalued on the internet, we are all so used to men blowing smoke up our arse and saying anything to get laid that they mean absolutely nothing, you would have to be really needy to feed off them. |
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