FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Cheating people being honest on profiles
Cheating people being honest on profiles
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If people say they're married/ cheating on their profile surely they're just opening themselves to dodgy people using that information against them. Same with people saying they have kids.
Is honesty always a good thing on the internet?!  |
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Certain types of honesty aren't. Don't say you've got young kids, where you work, where you shop, where you live etc and don't give this information about anyone else.
For every 1000 honest people who won't use this information in a bad way there is at least one who will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s all about the right level of openness at the right times, I think.
I can’t believe the amount of personal info people readily give up in public forums, particularly on sites like Facebook moreso than here.
I will give people the relevant info they need to make informed decisions about whether or not to meet me, for example I have always stated in my profile I’m not single.
But I won’t give up all of my private life in public forums for any Tom, Dick or Harry’s consumption, like some do. Their choice, of course, and if they’re happy to do so that’s their prerogative!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to laugh at people who say "He's lying to his wife, what else is he lying about?", when they have heavily filtered photos taken at carefully selected angles.
Lying to yourself is the no better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s all about the right level of openness at the right times, I think.
I can’t believe the amount of personal info people readily give up in public forums, particularly on sites like Facebook moreso than here.
I will give people the relevant info they need to make informed decisions about whether or not to meet me, for example I have always stated in my profile I’m not single.
But I won’t give up all of my private life in public forums for any Tom, Dick or Harry’s consumption, like some do. Their choice, of course, and if they’re happy to do so that’s their prerogative!
"
And you don't have to.
I can understand people becoming annoyed at being misled though, but it's done on here in more ways than one. |
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Have had the conversation about how much we reveal about ourselves on our profiles or on the forums in chatrooms quite a few times recently, after it emerged earlier this year that a particularly insidious predator had used a similar site here in Ireland to find women who had lost friends/family members to suicide. He befriended and met them, and then used their vulnerability and fear of being somehow at fault for someone taking their own life against them, by claiming to be depressed and threatening to self-harm if they didn't do whatever he wanted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t judge people but I want to know so I can make an informed choice as to whether I want to go any further.
On a site like this, where being open is encouraged, I don’t see why people need to lie... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have to laugh at people who say "He's lying to his wife, what else is he lying about?", when they have heavily filtered photos taken at carefully selected angles.
Lying to yourself is the no better."
Fair point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have had the conversation about how much we reveal about ourselves on our profiles or on the forums in chatrooms quite a few times recently, after it emerged earlier this year that a particularly insidious predator had used a similar site here in Ireland to find women who had lost friends/family members to suicide. He befriended and met them, and then used their vulnerability and fear of being somehow at fault for someone taking their own life against them, by claiming to be depressed and threatening to self-harm if they didn't do whatever he wanted."
This is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking of. I'm not surprised that someone's done this. I'm shocked that I'm not surprised though.  Bit shit when this is a reality. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t judge people but I want to know so I can make an informed choice as to whether I want to go any further.
On a site like this, where being open is encouraged, I don’t see why people need to lie..."
For the reasons in PlayD8's post.
Also some people don't care who knows they are swingers. Some do. Some people get sacked when outed. |
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"I don’t judge people but I want to know so I can make an informed choice as to whether I want to go any further.
On a site like this, where being open is encouraged, I don’t see why people need to lie..."
They lie because telling the truth would deny them meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is it that people that are married are cheating on there partners. Fab could be a way of keeping there marriage alive and well. People who have afairs and slope away for holidays etc are the ones to keep clear off. This life style is not tinder. Im sure many will disagree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve put on our profile we are in an open marriage and meet separately, but we also meet as a couple.
If somebody isn’t happy with that then we are not offended, we understand some people find the concept difficult to understand. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is it that people that are married are cheating on there partners. Fab could be a way of keeping there marriage alive and well. People who have afairs and slope away for holidays etc are the ones to keep clear off. This life style is not tinder. Im sure many will disagree."
It's still cheating if the partner hasn't agreed to it.
I agree that 'cheating' can (sometimes) keep marriages from ending in divorce.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think that sort of info doesn't particulary need to be in a profile either, as long as it is offered in messages fairly early on if the intention is to meet. |
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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago
Camberley/Middleton |
"If people say they're married/ cheating on their profile surely they're just opening themselves to dodgy people using that information against them. Same with people saying they have kids.
Is honesty always a good thing on the internet?! "
Probably not though it helps people avoid those who are cheating. As for saying you have kids well it could open up some very unplesent circumstances but then where do people stop I think people should just be cautious and no need put too much personal information on a profile and avoid anything that could Identify you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If people say they're married/ cheating on their profile surely they're just opening themselves to dodgy people using that information against them. Same with people saying they have kids.
Is honesty always a good thing on the internet?!
Probably not though it helps people avoid those who are cheating. As for saying you have kids well it could open up some very unplesent circumstances but then where do people stop I think people should just be cautious and no need put too much personal information on a profile and avoid anything that could Identify you. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly the internet is full of keyboard pyjama warriors 
I think being honest with the people you intend to meet is important.
But what truths do we really know about randoms from the internet?
The "single straight man " you met last weekend might be participating in bareback Bi gangbangs every weekend behind his wife's back.
Who knows? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lying is an art on here so many would get a first class hons in it if it was a Uni Degree I take it all with a pinch of salt. If people do say on their profile its just a good first filter I really don't want to use information in any way why on earth would someone want to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one thing that gets me is people asking to speak to partners pre-meet to confirm consent
I play away, so does my other half
We also play together
I'd be less than impressed if a stranger contacted me to ask if it was OK that my other half played with them
It's bonkers |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly the internet is full of keyboard pyjama warriors
I think being honest with the people you intend to meet is important.
But what truths do we really know about randoms from the internet?
The "single straight man " you met last weekend might be participating in bareback Bi gangbangs every weekend behind his wife's back.
Who knows?"
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"Certain types of honesty aren't. Don't say you've got young kids, where you work, where you shop, where you live etc and don't give this information about anyone else.
For every 1000 honest people who won't use this information in a bad way there is at least one who will."
I shop in Debenhams... there ... I put it out there ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's up to the individual what they display on their public profile that everyone can see.
What they choose to tell people in private message is up to the individual. I am honest with people about certain aspects of my life if I'm intending to meet them, and I expect the same in return.
I would never give information away such as my home address or my place of work until I have met someone a few times and built some trust. |
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By *inchfitMan
over a year ago
Greater Manchester |
I think what people say on the own profile is by the own omission, but they should be aware of the risks associated with disclosing such details. Each to the own I say, but I think some people need to be more honest, when they proclaim to be straight but in fact they are bisexual and/or gay, or trans.. or when they proclaim to have a big one and evidently they don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think some people need to be more honest, when they proclaim to be straight but in fact they are bisexual and/or gay "
He who casts the first stone & all that ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You never know what someone will do on a site like this with any information you give out. You just gotta play it by ear.
Some things you can’t control.
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