FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What worries you most about a meet ?
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"Unmet expectations/disappointment (about a range of things), I guess. It’s just a fear factor that builds preemptively, but isn’t really rooted from anything tangible or rational. " | |||
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"Is that your worry OP? " Yes, that and whether my wig will blow off. | |||
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"Whether or not they’ll show given recent experiences " This for me too x | |||
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"Whether or not they’ll show given recent experiences This for me too x" I definitely know how to pick them | |||
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"Is that your worry OP? Yes, that and whether my wig will blow off. " Hilarious, made me laugh, thanks x Estella sums it up for me too ‘Unmet expectations/disappointment (about a range of things), I guess. It’s just a fear factor that builds preemptively, but isn’t really rooted from anything tangible or rational.’ | |||
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"If my arms are tyred" What have I told you about fucking about in scrap yards | |||
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"Whether or not they’ll show given recent experiences This for me too x I definitely know how to pick them" Hey, my Ford Focus doesn’t like leaving Devon she gets home sick. I did warn you. | |||
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"Whether or not they’ll show given recent experiences This for me too x I definitely know how to pick them Hey, my Ford Focus doesn’t like leaving Devon she gets home sick. I did warn you. " Excuses excuses | |||
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"If my arms are tyred What have I told you about fucking about in scrap yards" yes yes yes i see it | |||
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"If my arms are tyred What have I told you about fucking about in scrap yardsyes yes yes i see it " | |||
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"Will I fancy them, pictures can be deceiving. " That’s certainly true! | |||
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"Their scent. I can find someone attractive in conversation and appearance, but if their scent doesn't click with me then I won't be interested." I’ve not consciously thought about that before, but you’re absolutely right how important scent attraction is! | |||
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"Their scent. I can find someone attractive in conversation and appearance, but if their scent doesn't click with me then I won't be interested. I’ve not consciously thought about that before, but you’re absolutely right how important scent attraction is! " Would also agree with this. Nothing worse than a bad scent. Can be as simple as I don't like his aftershave | |||
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"Their scent. I can find someone attractive in conversation and appearance, but if their scent doesn't click with me then I won't be interested. I’ve not consciously thought about that before, but you’re absolutely right how important scent attraction is! Would also agree with this. Nothing worse than a bad scent. Can be as simple as I don't like his aftershave " I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life | |||
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" I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life " Nothing wrong with garlic. | |||
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"Is she an axe murderer?" i had that worry a couple weeks back she wasnt tho | |||
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" I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life Nothing wrong with garlic. " yes there is | |||
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"That they look as good as their pics and the witty banter shared via messages is the same face to face " Agree on both points | |||
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" I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life Nothing wrong with garlic. " Bring a nan bread | |||
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"Unmet expectations/disappointment (about a range of things), I guess. It’s just a fear factor that builds preemptively, but isn’t really rooted from anything tangible or rational. " This for me too, I was trying to explain this the other day but couldn't quite get the right words. | |||
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"Their scent. I can find someone attractive in conversation and appearance, but if their scent doesn't click with me then I won't be interested. I’ve not consciously thought about that before, but you’re absolutely right how important scent attraction is! Would also agree with this. Nothing worse than a bad scent. Can be as simple as I don't like his aftershave I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life " Oh can you just imagine. Garlic is such a strong smell as well. Does it actually work for a cold? | |||
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"I dont really get worried as such. But I do sort of set myself up for disappointment as Ive found few men can actually deliver what their imagination thinks they can. That's one reason why I prefer to steer way from sextexting etc. I also have found that the guys that have all the talk are normally the biggest disappointments. Even though guys may look like there picture's when you see the whole package together that wow factor just isn't there...that can be disappointing its something you just can't put your finger on is missing. Height..hmmmm that's another one..." I never understood men who big thereselves up, that can only go one way, plus you’re putting yourself under pressure. Agree with the sexting, I think that’s fine after you’ve already met once and you’re talking about what you’re going to do next time. | |||
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"I dont really get worried as such. But I do sort of set myself up for disappointment as Ive found few men can actually deliver what their imagination thinks they can. That's one reason why I prefer to steer way from sextexting etc. I also have found that the guys that have all the talk are normally the biggest disappointments. Even though guys may look like there picture's when you see the whole package together that wow factor just isn't there...that can be disappointing its something you just can't put your finger on is missing. Height..hmmmm that's another one..." Yes!! Agree with all of those! | |||
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"I dont really get worried as such. But I do sort of set myself up for disappointment as Ive found few men can actually deliver what their imagination thinks they can. That's one reason why I prefer to steer way from sextexting etc. I also have found that the guys that have all the talk are normally the biggest disappointments. Even though guys may look like there picture's when you see the whole package together that wow factor just isn't there...that can be disappointing its something you just can't put your finger on is missing. Height..hmmmm that's another one... I never understood men who big thereselves up, that can only go one way, plus you’re putting yourself under pressure. Agree with the sexting, I think that’s fine after you’ve already met once and you’re talking about what you’re going to do next time. " Absolutely. | |||
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"Getting out of it alive!! Seriously. I'm paranoid about my safety atm, so much it's putting me off meeting new people. " I have something to tell you | |||
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"Getting out of it alive!! Seriously. I'm paranoid about my safety atm, so much it's putting me off meeting new people. " . Hope you’re okay xx | |||
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"Getting out of it alive!! Seriously. I'm paranoid about my safety atm, so much it's putting me off meeting new people. " Yep I had a bad social recently. Half the reason I left last week. | |||
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"I don't worry." That’s cause its easier for beautiful women. | |||
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"I don't worry." This, I will have met them socially so know I fancy them, I've met a fair bit so I suppose I'm used to it. I still get butterflies with meeting a new person though. | |||
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"I always hope that "meet day" lines up with "shower day". Oh please god! Let her choose the 15th! " This is also my payday, so we’re all good | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be " Couldn't agree with you more | |||
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"I don't worry. That’s cause its easier for beautiful women. " I only hope I will have a laugh and make a possible friend. Anything else is a bonus. Always meet socially first and don't expect anything. So I don't get disappointed. | |||
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"I always hope that "meet day" lines up with "shower day". Oh please god! Let her choose the 15th! This is also my payday, so we’re all good " Some good news at last! | |||
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"I always hope that "meet day" lines up with "shower day". Oh please god! Let her choose the 15th! " Could you possibly make it the 23rd as it’s my birthday, that once a year routine soon rolls round | |||
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"I don't worry. That’s cause its easier for beautiful women. I only hope I will have a laugh and make a possible friend. Anything else is a bonus. Always meet socially first and don't expect anything. So I don't get disappointed." If my propeller cap and airhorn routine don’t get her laughing, I start panicking. | |||
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"Farting " Holding it in, then your eyes start watering and she thinking this guy is a bit over emotional, I was only talking about my Nectar card points. | |||
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"Farting Holding it in, then your eyes start watering and she thinking this guy is a bit over emotional, I was only talking about my Nectar card points." Pelvic floor workout... | |||
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"I always hope that "meet day" lines up with "shower day". Oh please god! Let her choose the 15th! Could you possibly make it the 23rd as it’s my birthday, that once a year routine soon rolls round " The 23rd, or as i like to call it "2 more sleeps until i wipe arse my again day". Sounds good to me! *edit | |||
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"Their scent. I can find someone attractive in conversation and appearance, but if their scent doesn't click with me then I won't be interested. I’ve not consciously thought about that before, but you’re absolutely right how important scent attraction is! Would also agree with this. Nothing worse than a bad scent. Can be as simple as I don't like his aftershave I think Im 99% garlic at the moment keeping a cold at bay. Must remember not to meet anyone and put them off me for life Oh can you just imagine. Garlic is such a strong smell as well. Does it actually work for a cold?" It doesnt seem to have done yet but I live in hope | |||
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"I don't worry. That’s cause its easier for beautiful women. I only hope I will have a laugh and make a possible friend. Anything else is a bonus. Always meet socially first and don't expect anything. So I don't get disappointed. If my propeller cap and airhorn routine don’t get her laughing, I start panicking. " If a guy isn't funny or doesn't get my banter, jokes or sarcasm, then I just finish my cider and he goes home alone. Simple as that. No matter how handsome or fit he is. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. " Same as me there OP But... I'm not shy at all so i still would lol. If it happens it happens... Were only human | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. " Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted." Holy shit is it really that bad for you? Lol | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted." I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior. | |||
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"I can’t say I worry about getting a shaft and cock in my mouth " Who says I want to put it there | |||
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"I can’t say I worry about getting a shaft and cock in my mouth Who says I want to put it there " Where else would you put it ? | |||
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"Will I fancy them, pictures can be deceiving. That’s certainly true!" And pictures don’t show you if they’ve got a sparkle in their eye. Is there a little naughtiness bursting to get out? Can there be “flanter” as well as the initial lustful feelings cos that’s the start of repeat meets thatbget better with familiarity. And if the chemistry isn’t stunning, should I just walk or give it a chance - because I hate to be just plain rude! | |||
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"Coming on the day of the meet " I second this, its always worrying especially as I dont have a set date when ok im due anymore. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. Holy shit is it really that bad for you? Lol " It's always a risk meeting random men off a swingers site. I'd like to point out nothing has ever happened to me, but it's always there in the background. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted." Perhaps you should ask for a reference!! I’d be happy to ask one of my “friends” to do that. I’m sure other fellas would do that too! | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior." Some take this for granted. I've actually seen the female halves of couples gang up on a single female in a chatroom and say she was overreacting for admitting to having a safety-buddy. As couples who only meet as couples, they were simply oblivious to some of the perils a lone woman may encounter. Back when I was meeting new people, even just for coffee, I'd always tell a trusted friend where I was going, the username of who I was meeting, what time we were meeting at, and agree a time at which I would check back in to say I was OK. I've had several female friends who also use me as their safety-buddy. We never discuss details of meets afterwards, just let each other know everything went well and to call off the search party | |||
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"Will I fancy them, pictures can be deceiving. That’s certainly true! And pictures don’t show you if they’ve got a sparkle in their eye. Is there a little naughtiness bursting to get out? Can there be “flanter” as well as the initial lustful feelings cos that’s the start of repeat meets thatbget better with familiarity. And if the chemistry isn’t stunning, should I just walk or give it a chance - because I hate to be just plain rude!" This is why I’d never meet anyone without a social meet first | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior. Some take this for granted. I've actually seen the female halves of couples gang up on a single female in a chatroom and say she was overreacting for admitting to having a safety-buddy. As couples who only meet as couples, they were simply oblivious to some of the perils a lone woman may encounter. Back when I was meeting new people, even just for coffee, I'd always tell a trusted friend where I was going, the username of who I was meeting, what time we were meeting at, and agree a time at which I would check back in to say I was OK. I've had several female friends who also use me as their safety-buddy. We never discuss details of meets afterwards, just let each other know everything went well and to call off the search party " Yes, I do this too. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior. Some take this for granted. I've actually seen the female halves of couples gang up on a single female in a chatroom and say she was overreacting for admitting to having a safety-buddy. As couples who only meet as couples, they were simply oblivious to some of the perils a lone woman may encounter. Back when I was meeting new people, even just for coffee, I'd always tell a trusted friend where I was going, the username of who I was meeting, what time we were meeting at, and agree a time at which I would check back in to say I was OK. I've had several female friends who also use me as their safety-buddy. We never discuss details of meets afterwards, just let each other know everything went well and to call off the search party Yes, I do this too." Me too. And we have each other on find a friend. Pin points your exact location. If you have your phone obviously | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. " They turn out to be a couple of pitbull terriers chewing a wasp! | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs!" Victim blaming at its finest | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest" Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety? | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest" Not at all, just an awareness that there are many predatory people out there, and some simple personal rules can go a long way to keeping you safe. | |||
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"Mine is taking too long to cum. Always get stressed that I'm lasting too long" Sting is that you ? | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety?" Don’t meet complete strangers is what I say unless in a public place. | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest" Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety? Don’t meet complete strangers is what I say unless in a public place. " Everyone is a stranger until you've met them. | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety? Don’t meet complete strangers is what I say unless in a public place. Everyone is a stranger until you've met them. " I mean don’t meet alone at your place or theirs etc. | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat " Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. | |||
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"Mine is taking too long to cum. Always get stressed that I'm lasting too long Sting is that you ?" The wrestler | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety? Don’t meet complete strangers is what I say unless in a public place. Everyone is a stranger until you've met them. I mean don’t meet alone at your place or theirs etc." Yep. | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. " Not saying she shouldn’t do it but she shouldn’t have to do it. Kinda phrased badly by me I guess but it’s sad that women (and men too really) have to take these steps to protect themselves from freaks. The vast majority are good people | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. Not saying she shouldn’t do it but she shouldn’t have to do it. Kinda phrased badly by me I guess but it’s sad that women (and men too really) have to take these steps to protect themselves from freaks. The vast majority are good people " I mean that the emphasis shouldn’t be on the victim to do more but on the perpetrator to not do it in the first place. I know it will never happen but that’s the works we live in I guess | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. Not saying she shouldn’t do it but she shouldn’t have to do it. Kinda phrased badly by me I guess but it’s sad that women (and men too really) have to take these steps to protect themselves from freaks. The vast majority are good people I mean that the emphasis shouldn’t be on the victim to do more but on the perpetrator to not do it in the first place. I know it will never happen but that’s the works we live in I guess" world not works | |||
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"Mine is taking too long to cum. Always get stressed that I'm lasting too long Sting is that you ? The wrestler " No, the other more famous one. | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be " That is why I spend a long time getting to know somebody before meeting them. You can out the creeps, weirdos, fantasists, timewasters, etc. | |||
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"I wonder how much exaggeration and testosterone is going on in this thread? Okay, so I've only had three meets, so little experience, but none of them had any sexual expectations involved for anybody concerned, maybe I'm missing something? " No, I think you’re probably doing it right. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior." When using a hotel always get the guy to pay for the room. Even when going halves on the cost. Hotels nowadays make you pay with a debit or credit card. They don't accept cash. That obviously means the hotel has the guys details. The guy would be stupid to do anything against your wishes. | |||
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"I wonder how much exaggeration and testosterone is going on in this thread? Okay, so I've only had three meets, so little experience, but none of them had any sexual expectations involved for anybody concerned, maybe I'm missing something? No, I think you’re probably doing it right." I genuinely believe so, certainly takes away most of the above anxieties I think! | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. " Seems to me like they already *are* doing a fair bit to try and make it as safe as possible. Short of carrying mace or not meeting at all, what is it you suggest they are neglecting to do? | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. Holy shit is it really that bad for you? Lol It's always a risk meeting random men off a swingers site. I'd like to point out nothing has ever happened to me, but it's always there in the background." It's a risk for men meeting women. I know somebody who met a woman who was cheating. He didn't know she was cheating until her husband came home early from work due to being ill. He was lucky the guy never got violent and just told him to leave. | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be That is why I spend a long time getting to know somebody before meeting them. You can out the creeps, weirdos, fantasists, timewasters, etc. " Not always. People can easily make out they are genuinely nice people then change when you meet in person. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior. Some take this for granted. I've actually seen the female halves of couples gang up on a single female in a chatroom and say she was overreacting for admitting to having a safety-buddy. As couples who only meet as couples, they were simply oblivious to some of the perils a lone woman may encounter. Back when I was meeting new people, even just for coffee, I'd always tell a trusted friend where I was going, the username of who I was meeting, what time we were meeting at, and agree a time at which I would check back in to say I was OK. I've had several female friends who also use me as their safety-buddy. We never discuss details of meets afterwards, just let each other know everything went well and to call off the search party " Men, women and couples should have a safety buddy. We should always tell somebody where we are going and when we are expected back home. If you go to a strangers house take a photo outside and send it to your safety buddy. That photo will contain something called EXIF data. EXIF data will tell the police or anybody who wants to read the EXIF data exactly where the photo was taken and the date and time it was taken. | |||
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"Getting physically hurt , its happened and now Im very nervous attending meets in their own homes . I actually feel safer in hotels now x" If I was a single female it would take a lot of meets with somebody before I went to their home. Hotel meets are much safer. | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be That is why I spend a long time getting to know somebody before meeting them. You can out the creeps, weirdos, fantasists, timewasters, etc. Not always. People can easily make out they are genuinely nice people then change when you meet in person. " Of course they can but if you spend a few weeks or even months getting to know somebody before meeting you get rid of the disrespctful guys, the guys who are not prepared to spend time getting to know you who are looking for a quick one off fuck, the guys looking for another notch on the bedpost, etc. | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. Seems to me like they already *are* doing a fair bit to try and make it as safe as possible. Short of carrying mace or not meeting at all, what is it you suggest they are neglecting to do?" Nothing. Just that we all are responsible for our own safety. The guy I was quoting said it wasn't down to the woman to be more careful. I completely disagree with that. | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be That is why I spend a long time getting to know somebody before meeting them. You can out the creeps, weirdos, fantasists, timewasters, etc. Not always. People can easily make out they are genuinely nice people then change when you meet in person. Of course they can but if you spend a few weeks or even months getting to know somebody before meeting you get rid of the disrespctful guys, the guys who are not prepared to spend time getting to know you who are looking for a quick one off fuck, the guys looking for another notch on the bedpost, etc. " I agree and what I do. | |||
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"Surely there nust be some nice people on here to meet? I'm nice. Not murdery at all." Yep. I've never been scared of anyone I've met in 6 years. | |||
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"Surely there nust be some nice people on here to meet? I'm nice. Not murdery at all. Yep. I've never been scared of anyone I've met in 6 years. " To be fair, in comparison to Clem... | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. Seems to me like they already *are* doing a fair bit to try and make it as safe as possible. Short of carrying mace or not meeting at all, what is it you suggest they are neglecting to do? Nothing. Just that we all are responsible for our own safety. The guy I was quoting said it wasn't down to the woman to be more careful. I completely disagree with that. " Okay, but earlier on you'd also said: "Hardly. But meeting strangers is dangerous. Why wouldn't you do all you can to ensure your own safety?" In response to the victim blaming comment, which was in response to "Be more careful ffs!" Seems like you're also agreeing with the guy that the onus is on the woman to be more careful, even though there were already several at that point who'd described in detail the lengths they were going to. You disagree that this is victim blaming? Really | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. Holy shit is it really that bad for you? Lol It's always a risk meeting random men off a swingers site. I'd like to point out nothing has ever happened to me, but it's always there in the background. It's a risk for men meeting women. I know somebody who met a woman who was cheating. He didn't know she was cheating until her husband came home early from work due to being ill. He was lucky the guy never got violent and just told him to leave. " I never suggested it was just one way! The original post asked what we were worried about on a meet and I answered. | |||
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"My anxiety about meeting has got out of control so stopped meeting for now." That's a shame. | |||
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"Unmet expectations/disappointment (about a range of things), I guess. It’s just a fear factor that builds preemptively, but isn’t really rooted from anything tangible or rational. " | |||
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"I agree! So many creeps out there this place isn’t what it used to be That is why I spend a long time getting to know somebody before meeting them. You can out the creeps, weirdos, fantasists, timewasters, etc. Not always. People can easily make out they are genuinely nice people then change when you meet in person. Of course they can but if you spend a few weeks or even months getting to know somebody before meeting you get rid of the disrespctful guys, the guys who are not prepared to spend time getting to know you who are looking for a quick one off fuck, the guys looking for another notch on the bedpost, etc. " Sorry but you're wrong, and I'm talking from personal experience in the swinging scene of over 5.5 years. How many abusive men have you actually met? | |||
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"My anxiety about meeting has got out of control so stopped meeting for now." Me too. I am so down on stuff, I can't bear the thought of being seen naked. So I just go without. | |||
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"My anxiety about meeting has got out of control so stopped meeting for now. Me too. I am so down on stuff, I can't bear the thought of being seen naked. So I just go without. " From what I've seen of you ladies, you are both incredibly lovely people, on both the inside and outside. I hope you both find some confidence and start meeting again. | |||
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"My anxiety about meeting has got out of control so stopped meeting for now. Me too. I am so down on stuff, I can't bear the thought of being seen naked. So I just go without. From what I've seen of you ladies, you are both incredibly lovely people, on both the inside and outside. I hope you both find some confidence and start meeting again." Agreed | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. Honestly? I'm more concerned that he isn't going to do certain things that are so bad the words are blocked. A successful meet is one where I'm alive and not assaulted. I'm so, so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Its a massive risk meeting someone you don't know for sex be it at theirs, in a hotel, wherever! And, yes, I always have a social prior. When using a hotel always get the guy to pay for the room. Even when going halves on the cost. Hotels nowadays make you pay with a debit or credit card. They don't accept cash. That obviously means the hotel has the guys details. The guy would be stupid to do anything against your wishes. " Good plan. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. " I get disgusted with myself sometimes, am really quite nervous too | |||
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"Very sad and disturbing, the number of women on here who have had not just bad but genuinely frightening experiences. Be more careful ffs! Victim blaming at its finest Exactly what I was going to say. It shouldn’t be down to the woman to be more careful but to the man to not be a total twat Bollocks! Why shouldn't a woman take care of her own safety? Ridiculous thing to say. Seems to me like they already *are* doing a fair bit to try and make it as safe as possible. Short of carrying mace or not meeting at all, what is it you suggest they are neglecting to do? Nothing. Just that we all are responsible for our own safety. The guy I was quoting said it wasn't down to the woman to be more careful. I completely disagree with that. " I didn’t say it WASN’T down to the woman, I said it SHOULDN’T be down to the woman - meaning it’s disgusting that there are bad people out there and we all have to worry about things like this. I actually went on to explain in that in another post which you seem to have chosen to ignore. | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!!" What saying things like ‘You at the back, in the blue shirt, with the t trousers. No, not you, the gentlemen next to you, yes you !’ | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!!" Cant agree more | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!! What saying things like ‘You at the back, in the blue shirt, with the t trousers. No, not you, the gentlemen next to you, yes you !’" That made me laugh. | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!! What saying things like ‘You at the back, in the blue shirt, with the t trousers. No, not you, the gentlemen next to you, yes you !’" Haha - pretty much! | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!!" Had this once. It was such hard work. I never shut up anyway and even I struggled! | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!! Had this once. It was such hard work. I never shut up anyway and even I struggled! " I’m also pretty shit at not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings so would end up suffering until the bitter end rather than making an excuse to leave early | |||
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"Whether conversation will be flat and I’ll have to do my David Dimbleby impression and keep asking questions without any reciprocation. Nothing worse than meeting someone with fuck all to say!! What saying things like ‘You at the back, in the blue shirt, with the t trousers. No, not you, the gentlemen next to you, yes you !’" | |||
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"Is she an axe murderer?i had that worry a couple weeks back she wasnt tho" That was good. What did she think of your chopper? | |||
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"Unmet expectations/disappointment (about a range of things), I guess. It’s just a fear factor that builds preemptively, but isn’t really rooted from anything tangible or rational. " This. Always this. And not just about meets but anything out of the ordinary routine... anxiety kills me. | |||
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"For men I’m guessing it’s the pressure of not getting it up and blowing your beans early doors. For women it’s probably whether you can fit his shaft and balls in your mouth. " Whether it will be worth not fucking my fwb that day... Hence why I rarely bother with anyone else these days | |||
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