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Loving more than one person
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just watched an episode of "polyamory, married and dating" and I know it's all pretty Californians and I know it's probably gonna have its ups and downs. But it just looks so lovely. A threesome/foursome of people who are all really in love with each other 
Sign me up  What do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh love love love
I fell in love in 2007 and even though I hated my now ex husband I still loved him
It’s possible as love to each of us means different things and feels different too |
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"Oh love love love
I fell in love in 2007 and even though I hated my now ex husband I still loved him
It’s possible as love to each of us means different things and feels different too "
Yeah, feel you on that. There's a difference between loving someone and being *in* love with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh love love love
I fell in love in 2007 and even though I hated my now ex husband I still loved him
It’s possible as love to each of us means different things and feels different too
Yeah, feel you on that. There's a difference between loving someone and being *in* love with them"
My definition of love is different to someone else’s ... love is subjective |
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"Oh love love love
I fell in love in 2007 and even though I hated my now ex husband I still loved him
It’s possible as love to each of us means different things and feels different too
Yeah, feel you on that. There's a difference between loving someone and being *in* love with them
My definition of love is different to someone else’s ... love is subjective "
So how do you see it?
Is it more of a sliding scale where you can love different people to varying degrees, or is it a binary 'on/off' thing where if you love them then that's maxed out and you can't love them any more, because loving them is already as high as it goes?
I don't think I've articulated what I'm trying to say particularly well, but hopefully it makes sense?
Like if someone were to say "do you love them more than me?" is that even possible, or is love love and therefore cannot be more/less - it's love. It is or isn't? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh love love love
I fell in love in 2007 and even though I hated my now ex husband I still loved him
It’s possible as love to each of us means different things and feels different too
Yeah, feel you on that. There's a difference between loving someone and being *in* love with them
My definition of love is different to someone else’s ... love is subjective
So how do you see it?
Is it more of a sliding scale where you can love different people to varying degrees, or is it a binary 'on/off' thing where if you love them then that's maxed out and you can't love them any more, because loving them is already as high as it goes?
I don't think I've articulated what I'm trying to say particularly well, but hopefully it makes sense?
Like if someone were to say "do you love them more than me?" is that even possible, or is love love and therefore cannot be more/less - it's love. It is or isn't?"
How I feel in love ... will be different to someone else
Love is a fiercely taboo subject in places like this , I can have mind blowing sex and at that moment think ‘ fuck I love him/her’
That’s emotion as it’s so intense - it’s not love ( I want to marry ) it’s love in the moment
Love in the sense of love forever - my feelings will be different to everyone else
We shouldn’t define it .. we should just express it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I guess I just meant this thread in the sense that, for me now, the kinky porn MFF threesome is fun but meaningless in the same way a big action movie is. I don't mean that negatively. I like a bit of popcorn now and then. But watching a man and two women *make love* wow! That's a total game changer. That looks genuinely appealing and deeply rewarding 
I still think I'm quite monogamous, in that I have a longing to invest fully in one woman. But there's definitely a part of me that wouldn't mind investing fully in two women who are also investing fully in each other and me |
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Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs? "
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted.  |
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Here follows some of the reasons we swing .
It’s nsa .
It’s an opportunity to engage in sexually liberated shananagins without being judged .
We don’t have to wine and dine the people we sleep with .
We don’t even need to know them either !
There are probably many more reasons similar to the above .
But above all else , it’s because we love each other and have a bond , a trust , an understanding together that is unbreakable . We just couldn’t swing without it . And in my honest opinion , that thing that we have which is way more than just love , isn’t something that can be divisible by 2 , 3 or any number at all . It’s all or nothing in my mind so I really can’t see how poly relationships work in the same way . |
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs?
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted. "
Seriously, when I add up:
Time spent at work, with my family and going to the gym. There is about half a day a week that could be spent on anything else. I guess some people might settle for that if they also don't mind that I stop going to the dentist, getting hair cuts or driving a car. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs?
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted.
Seriously, when I add up:
Time spent at work, with my family and going to the gym. There is about half a day a week that could be spent on anything else. I guess some people might settle for that if they also don't mind that I stop going to the dentist, getting hair cuts or driving a car. "
The gym. That’s where you’re going wrong. |
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs?
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted.
Seriously, when I add up:
Time spent at work, with my family and going to the gym. There is about half a day a week that could be spent on anything else. I guess some people might settle for that if they also don't mind that I stop going to the dentist, getting hair cuts or driving a car.
The gym. That’s where you’re going wrong. "
So but let's run with that, let's assume I don't go to the gym and my wife allows me to spend my spare time however I like. I'd literally have one day a week to dedicate to another partner. So how on earth are people talking about having 3 or 4 partners? Not to mention they always so communication is key so they must spend all their time talking. |
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We're not even keen on anyone other than the closest of family members staying over night. 
Some people are polygamous and some aren't but like fb and fwb arrangements I think there's always one or more person who's wishing it was an exclusive relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs?
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted.
Seriously, when I add up:
Time spent at work, with my family and going to the gym. There is about half a day a week that could be spent on anything else. I guess some people might settle for that if they also don't mind that I stop going to the dentist, getting hair cuts or driving a car.
The gym. That’s where you’re going wrong.
So but let's run with that, let's assume I don't go to the gym and my wife allows me to spend my spare time however I like. I'd literally have one day a week to dedicate to another partner. So how on earth are people talking about having 3 or 4 partners? Not to mention they always so communication is key so they must spend all their time talking. "
Quantity of time doesn’t necessarily relate to being quality though. Perhaps a weekend a month or other more periodic timings work for people? Perhaps some live alone as preference but then connect with their loved ones in the same way as dating rather than lives day to day arrangements. Perhaps there may not be kids involved. Not everyone does life the same way as you and this not everyone would find it difficult. Perhaps they spend less time youtubing and looking up stats as you do.  |
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"Funnily enough I had to have a chat with someone yesterday who wanted our sexy time relationship to become a love based one. No chance. If nothing else, I don't have time to love women. Jeez, don't these people have jobs?
You know I have a job! And I’m *still* gutted.
Seriously, when I add up:
Time spent at work, with my family and going to the gym. There is about half a day a week that could be spent on anything else. I guess some people might settle for that if they also don't mind that I stop going to the dentist, getting hair cuts or driving a car.
The gym. That’s where you’re going wrong.
So but let's run with that, let's assume I don't go to the gym and my wife allows me to spend my spare time however I like. I'd literally have one day a week to dedicate to another partner. So how on earth are people talking about having 3 or 4 partners? Not to mention they always so communication is key so they must spend all their time talking.
Quantity of time doesn’t necessarily relate to being quality though. Perhaps a weekend a month or other more periodic timings work for people? Perhaps some live alone as preference but then connect with their loved ones in the same way as dating rather than lives day to day arrangements. Perhaps there may not be kids involved. Not everyone does life the same way as you and this not everyone would find it difficult. Perhaps they spend less time youtubing and looking up stats as you do. "
But most people do have a marriage partner, children and work 40+ hours a week. So i think that excludes polyamory ever being a mainstream possibility. I don't have any principled objection to it, I totally believe you can love multiple people. If you have time for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmm not sure I could do that. I would only want to truly be in love with one person. It's one thing having sex and friendship with others, but true love? No, not for me. That I feel is a special bond betweeen 2 people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something |
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something "
I thought of that, but there must be a dating period where you get to know someone before they move in with you. It sounds like a lot of sitting around talking about feelings and not enough willies going into fannies for my liking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something
I thought of that, but there must be a dating period where you get to know someone before they move in with you. It sounds like a lot of sitting around talking about feelings and not enough willies going into fannies for my liking. "
The people on the TV show seem to have pretty high sex drives. I think in the case of the FFM threesome two married but the guy had a long time childhood friend who visited a lot and it turned out his wife and her has bi tendencies. So they ended up being sexual and from there enticed the guy to join. |
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something
I thought of that, but there must be a dating period where you get to know someone before they move in with you. It sounds like a lot of sitting around talking about feelings and not enough willies going into fannies for my liking.
The people on the TV show seem to have pretty high sex drives. I think in the case of the FFM threesome two married but the guy had a long time childhood friend who visited a lot and it turned out his wife and her has bi tendencies. So they ended up being sexual and from there enticed the guy to join. "
So it's based on sex first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there are different levels and dimensions to love and relationships.
I really don't think that you could have deep and meaningful love with more than one other person. You can still love others but not have the same deep connection. You can have sex with anyone. But that's more about lustfulness than love.
So I'd seriously doubt polyamorous are on an equal footing between all parties. I think your idea about sharing an equal, deep and loving relationship with two women is more fantasy than a realistic idea OP! |
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something
I thought of that, but there must be a dating period where you get to know someone before they move in with you. It sounds like a lot of sitting around talking about feelings and not enough willies going into fannies for my liking.
The people on the TV show seem to have pretty high sex drives. I think in the case of the FFM threesome two married but the guy had a long time childhood friend who visited a lot and it turned out his wife and her has bi tendencies. So they ended up being sexual and from there enticed the guy to join. "
The people I've seen on documentaries were... well a lot of soy boys, put it that way. |
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I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it . |
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it ."
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have an open marriage, we have sex with other people, but we love each other.
We have various reasons to have sex with others. We do not fall in love with those people.
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture "
I fully agree that monogamy is a society driven form of conditioning . But having sex with someone is one thing , living with that person is another . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture "
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx |
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
I fully agree that monogamy is a society driven form of conditioning . But having sex with someone is one thing , living with that person is another . "
When talking about what we are "wired towards", that's an indirect reference to reproductive strategies that were successful and left imprints on our genes. There are multiple mating strategies that can be successful at the same time, but like not every football team plays a 4-4-2. Some people are wired for monogamy. Most aren't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx"
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love? "
Would it happen so fast? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love?
Would it happen so fast?"
And then if it turned into love, could you walk away.
So many issues  |
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love?
Would it happen so fast?"
It turned cold, that's where it ends |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love?
Would it happen so fast?
And then if it turned into love, could you walk away.
So many issues "
Personally, I'm a bit sceptical about whether poly love really reaches the depths of mono love. From what I've seen it creates a lovely hippy family vibe that is really rewarding but probably has a shelf life. I may be wrong. But that's how it comes across |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something "
Yes, but that’s a cohabiting arrangement of poly, not all poly is set up like that. So I’m talking about the balancing that would be, as BrokenBrilliance says, incumbent on someone living different structures of poly, not necessarily the set up you saw on the programme. There’s no one way to do poly! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You guys seem to be thinking you divide the time equally. You don't. Instead of coming home to one person you come home to two. You have quality time with two people.
But yeah haha the TV show shows how complex that is But I'd still love to give it a try for a summer or something
Yes, but that’s a cohabiting arrangement of poly, not all poly is set up like that. So I’m talking about the balancing that would be, as BrokenBrilliance says, incumbent on someone living different structures of poly, not necessarily the set up you saw on the programme. There’s no one way to do poly! "
Yeah. The other versions of poly look too much like hard work for me. Like having multiple lives. Argh. I like the idea of a loving triad that cohabit over a summer then maybe return next summer or something until one of them falls in love with someone and it segues into just being friends |
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love?
Would it happen so fast?
And then if it turned into love, could you walk away.
So many issues
Personally, I'm a bit sceptical about whether poly love really reaches the depths of mono love. From what I've seen it creates a lovely hippy family vibe that is really rewarding but probably has a shelf life. I may be wrong. But that's how it comes across "
I don't see why not, under the right circumstances. You never hear parents say that they can't manage to love their children equally. |
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"I doubt it’s as rosy as it’s shown on the tv .
I can imagine all manner of a shitstorm when one woman wants more attention and the guy doesn’t feel like it . Or that he wants something more emotionally , but it simply isn’t there . Let’s face it , it takes a different type of emotion to embrace this scenario . If it was as idyllic as the programme portrays it we would all consider it , but in reality I’m not sure we are wired for it .
I think how we're wired towards monogamy is all conditioning. There are plenty of examples of poly societies. I agree programs like this won't be giving the full picture
To be fair to the program, as I said before it's all pretty Californians so it's utterly unrealistic in that way, but so far it's endless drama and jealousy. So it ain't exactly a pretty scenario. But when they cut to the threesome making out it's just so sweet and tender and loving. It's a completely different ball game from the whole porn thing. It's lovely
The foursome is more like a disaster waiting to happen as it's clear the woman and the other woman's man want to shag their brains out all day and night, whilst her partner and the other woman have more of a "aww you're nice" type of thing going on.
As I said... maybe just for a summer. We rent a log cabin for 3 months and have a little free love commune for a bit then go our own way xxx
If it's just for the summer, can it really be love?
Would it happen so fast?
And then if it turned into love, could you walk away.
So many issues
Personally, I'm a bit sceptical about whether poly love really reaches the depths of mono love. From what I've seen it creates a lovely hippy family vibe that is really rewarding but probably has a shelf life. I may be wrong. But that's how it comes across
I don't see why not, under the right circumstances. You never hear parents say that they can't manage to love their children equally. "
That’s an entirely different kind of love though isn’t it ?
In a poly relationship , any person within that dynamic can simply walk away if they choose to . And they entered into it willingly too .
Children had no choice but to be in the relationship with their parents . And the parents chose to have the children , thereby there’s a responsibility in their part to show equal love if there’s more than one sibling . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So OP, would you be happy for me to be in love with you and my husband? What happens if I spend more time with him? Would you get upset?
I can easily love 2 people at once but emotionally it would seriously fuck me up and the people around me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So OP, would you be happy for me to be in love with you and my husband? What happens if I spend more time with him? Would you get upset?
I can easily love 2 people at once but emotionally it would seriously fuck me up and the people around me. "
0n my side it could work if I was bi. If I was in an FFM I think I could easily separate my male love for each of the women from their sisterly love for each other. In fact I'm quite attracted to sisterly love |
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"So OP, would you be happy for me to be in love with you and my husband? What happens if I spend more time with him? Would you get upset?
I can easily love 2 people at once but emotionally it would seriously fuck me up and the people around me.
0n my side it could work if I was bi. If I was in an FFM I think I could easily separate my male love for each of the women from their sisterly love for each other. In fact I'm quite attracted to sisterly love "
Me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So OP, would you be happy for me to be in love with you and my husband? What happens if I spend more time with him? Would you get upset?
I can easily love 2 people at once but emotionally it would seriously fuck me up and the people around me.
0n my side it could work if I was bi. If I was in an FFM I think I could easily separate my male love for each of the women from their sisterly love for each other. In fact I'm quite attracted to sisterly love "
I can do sisterly love |
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I don't see why not, under the right circumstances. You never hear parents say that they can't manage to love their children equally.
That’s an entirely different kind of love though isn’t it ?
In a poly relationship , any person within that dynamic can simply walk away if they choose to . And they entered into it willingly too .
Children had no choice but to be in the relationship with their parents . And the parents chose to have the children , thereby there’s a responsibility in their part to show equal love if there’s more than one sibling ."
I hate the word 'love' in English. If we spoke in Greek, we would say that eros (passion) gives way to
pragma (longstanding love). As long as you have enough time for bonding experiences, I don't see why you can't have pragma with as many people as you have time for. |
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I'm quite clear in that I'm not looking for love.
However, a poly arrangement would suit me the best. The main idea is that you get all the best bits from a relationship from each person. So it might be that one person is amazing at sex, but not emotionally supportive. The other might be emotionally supportive but not physically available all the time.
The guys I chat with who regularly who mean the world to me all support me in different ways (and I support them in different ways). |
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