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No reason to stay....good reason to go? Ladies only.....
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I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....' 
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
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"I tend to keep in touch with those who've put the most effort in to trying to keep the conversation going, I have the most in common with, and the ones who when I see their name in my inbox makes me smile and want to look at the message straight away. " If they drift off I never go after them, but sometimes if it's me that failed to reply for a few days I feel a bit guilty.... Trouble is once they start asking to meet the conversation becomes strained sometimes. | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two "Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....  | |||
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Hope you find a solution! | |||
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"I just chat with the people I like. It’s not really about whether I’m going to meet them or not. " Do people never expect that you will though, by the very fact you are chatting. | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that..... "Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial. | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial. "Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to.  | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial.
Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to. "Anyone asking to meet early on loses my interest. I'm a bit ruthless but it does mean I'm left with those more in tune with my way of doing things. I never compromise. | |||
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"I don't chat to too many at once. Mind you I don't think I could find 20 that would keep me that interested for very long" Well they don't really, that's why I haven't replied to most for days I guess....but how do you get past refusing the 'Let's meet for a coffee, when are you free?' or just let them fall away.... | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial.
Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to.
Anyone asking to meet early on loses my interest. I'm a bit ruthless but it does mean I'm left with those more in tune with my way of doing things. I never compromise. "I was just gonna write this! I can tell pretty early if we will gel or not by the way they approach the chat. | |||
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"I don't chat to too many at once. Mind you I don't think I could find 20 that would keep me that interested for very long Well they don't really, that's why I haven't replied to most for days I guess....but how do you get past refusing the 'Let's meet for a coffee, when are you free?' or just let them fall away...." I just tell them I meet in my own time and if they ask before I'm ready I'll lose interest. They either go with that or bugger off  | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial.
Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to. "Totally agree on this point. I tend to say that though, simply put I’d like to meet with people that can grasp why I would want that and are relaxed enough to have conversation including the how’s and what’s and so ons of how conversations flow. If there’s too many and I happen to be further along in chat to others, I’m somewhat clear about that fact too - not in a “I choose someone else over you” way, but I’m terms of having limited energy (let alone time) and wanting to be fair in terms of giving someone my attention and energy with respect, and would it be okay to perhaps raincheck so I don’t do them or anyone else a disservice. I would be clear I’m not expecting anyone to wait around, but that I would love to have the opportunity to pick up with them and talk when I had more availability and focus to give them so that they and I could see if there’s a spark. Making an agreement that it’s okay to check in (either party) and see when that time might be, with total respect if it wasn’t convenient or if one or other party had changed their mind in the future, kinda thing. | |||
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But I do have to admit that I have quite a few people in the back burner. But even then, I had a precious and extremely rare free (late) evening last night and I ended up bingeing on chocolate brownies and watching Netflix because no one was online/available...
Sometimes I wish I were less fussy... but I just can’t. | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial.
Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to.
Totally agree on this point. I tend to say that though, simply put I’d like to meet with people that can grasp why I would want that and are relaxed enough to have conversation including the how’s and what’s and so ons of how conversations flow. If there’s too many and I happen to be further along in chat to others, I’m somewhat clear about that fact too - not in a “I choose someone else over you” way, but I’m terms of having limited energy (let alone time) and wanting to be fair in terms of giving someone my attention and energy with respect, and would it be okay to perhaps raincheck so I don’t do them or anyone else a disservice. I would be clear I’m not expecting anyone to wait around, but that I would love to have the opportunity to pick up with them and talk when I had more availability and focus to give them so that they and I could see if there’s a spark. Making an agreement that it’s okay to check in (either party) and see when that time might be, with total respect if it wasn’t convenient or if one or other party had changed their mind in the future, kinda thing. "I need you for my PA lol....  | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Ah maybe I'm doing it right. I can't be doing with small talk so I tend to just talk with people where the conversation is more than superficial.
Yeah, but you have to get to that place of 'critical mass' first, I find anyway......I hate small talk too, so I tend to lose interest if that's all that's forthcoming. I think my main problem is most people ask to meet before they've given me any real reason to want to.
Totally agree on this point. I tend to say that though, simply put I’d like to meet with people that can grasp why I would want that and are relaxed enough to have conversation including the how’s and what’s and so ons of how conversations flow. If there’s too many and I happen to be further along in chat to others, I’m somewhat clear about that fact too - not in a “I choose someone else over you” way, but I’m terms of having limited energy (let alone time) and wanting to be fair in terms of giving someone my attention and energy with respect, and would it be okay to perhaps raincheck so I don’t do them or anyone else a disservice. I would be clear I’m not expecting anyone to wait around, but that I would love to have the opportunity to pick up with them and talk when I had more availability and focus to give them so that they and I could see if there’s a spark. Making an agreement that it’s okay to check in (either party) and see when that time might be, with total respect if it wasn’t convenient or if one or other party had changed their mind in the future, kinda thing.
I need you for my PA lol.... " | |||
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"I've got so little time that I say no to all meets, unless one really makes my pulse race. I'll make an exception then, only after an indefinable number of messages have been exchanged that give me confidence that we're going to click. It's nice to be so popular, OP, enjoy the attention -on your terms. " Just realised the one who has been making my pulse race all this week can't accomm - aaargh!!  | |||
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"I've got so little time that I say no to all meets, unless one really makes my pulse race. I'll make an exception then, only after an indefinable number of messages have been exchanged that give me confidence that we're going to click. It's nice to be so popular, OP, enjoy the attention -on your terms. Just realised the one who has been making my pulse race all this week can't accomm - aaargh!! "Oh bu**er. But you recognise the signs that are pointing out the right ones, at least! | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street "Nobody said it wasn’t  | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street "Exactly. I tell them the way I do things. They are then free to continue chatting or piss off. It's their choice. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t "Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms. "It’s up to you if stay on the back burner, not someone else. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Exactly. I tell them the way I do things. They are then free to continue chatting or piss off. It's their choice. " | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms.
It’s up to you if stay on the back burner, not someone else."If other blokes are happy being an option that's their choice. Myself.. like I said its a two way street. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms.
It’s up to you if stay on the back burner, not someone else.
If other blokes are happy being an option that's their choice.
Myself.. like I said its a two way street."Where meeting people for sex aren't we all just options? Unless you're looking for a deeper commitment in which case you wouldn't be compatible with someone looking for options  | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms. "No, there was no value judgement attached to that - it's simply a matter of logistics. We all have choices, but even as a mature woman with her location set to the middle of nowhere and age filters in place I get more approaches than I can deal with, so unless I 'dismiss' people tinder style, then some are going to be left languishing in my inbox when I run out of time and inclination.  | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms.
It’s up to you if stay on the back burner, not someone else."Yup, in both ways - they can wander off or make themselves irresistible and demand my attention lol! | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done." If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done. If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. " I get that. I’m in a village with poor bus service and no car, it’s a PITA. I reckon most men wouldn’t notice the smell if you turned up dressed in those trousers and boots  | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done. If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. I get that. I’m in a village with poor bus service and no car, it’s a PITA. I reckon most men wouldn’t notice the smell if you turned up dressed in those trousers and boots "I've gone to several meets in jods and boots lol! | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done. If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. I get that. I’m in a village with poor bus service and no car, it’s a PITA. I reckon most men wouldn’t notice the smell if you turned up dressed in those trousers and boots
I've gone to several meets in jods and boots lol! "I bet they were drooling  | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done. If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. I get that. I’m in a village with poor bus service and no car, it’s a PITA. I reckon most men wouldn’t notice the smell if you turned up dressed in those trousers and boots
I've gone to several meets in jods and boots lol! "I’m straight but I’d drool too. | |||
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"I don’t fanny about on here with endless chat. If I like the look of them it’s straight to KIK and arrange a coffee ASAP then have a bit of a chat. If the fannying around goes on, I don’t bother. Done. If worked in town in an office that would work better, but I'm out in the sticks smelling of horses most days, so every coffee meet requires a commitment of about 3 hrs by the time i have showered and changed and travelled etc., so I like to know we'll get on. I get that. I’m in a village with poor bus service and no car, it’s a PITA. I reckon most men wouldn’t notice the smell if you turned up dressed in those trousers and boots
I've gone to several meets in jods and boots lol!
I bet they were drooling "Any drooling was probably down to the smell of horse wee | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees "lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley"You always make it so hard to say no... | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no..."You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji) | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no...
You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji) "Lol, oh stop it, I'm sure you do no such thing, you'll have them all sticking pins in my effigy!! | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no...
You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji)
Lol, oh stop it, I'm sure you do no such thing, you'll have them all sticking pins in my effigy!! "sounds like some twisted voodoo gangbang | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no...
You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji)
Lol, oh stop it, I'm sure you do no such thing, you'll have them all sticking pins in my effigy!!
sounds like some twisted voodoo gangbang"Only in your dreams!! | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no...
You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji)
Lol, oh stop it, I'm sure you do no such thing, you'll have them all sticking pins in my effigy!!
sounds like some twisted voodoo gangbang
Only in your dreams!!"quiet witch...! xxx | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two "I don't speak to many in fact, there's one guy (who I've never met) who always chats, and has done since I joined. He's a good un | |||
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"If a man is a ‘maybe’, he’s probably a ‘no’. I narrow down pretty quickly, if I’m unsure that I’m attracted, it’s no. Not verified my meet, likely no, especially if over 4months. Cannot accommodate, also no. Couldn’t sustain that many conversations. " No me neither, and my filters are up too - hence the post! There are very few men over about 48 that I can be sure I 'want' on sight, so I need to get to know them a little and often meet them before I can decide even that much, and I'm looking for fwb not just sex - hence the difficulty compounds. | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
lets just meet...we can shag in the car or in a manky back alley
You always make it so hard to say no...
You know its because I've been after you for years...sometimes I even shag someone else and say "OOoooh..you frisky mare!"...I am always thinking of you (heart emoji)
Lol, oh stop it, I'm sure you do no such thing, you'll have them all sticking pins in my effigy!!
sounds like some twisted voodoo gangbang
Only in your dreams!!
quiet witch...! xxx"Hahaha!  | |||
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"OP - you have great photos! Btw, since you’re looking for a fwb situation, are all 20 single and available? " I believe so yes, and can all accomm I think - except the one I most want to meet lol, I forgot to check!
And thanks! | |||
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"I'm really bad at keeping convos going so most get fed up and drift away anyway lol. Anyone who pushes for a meet too soon loses my interest, if their sense of humour doesn't make my clit twitch I lose interest and if they turn their nose up at tea or coffee I lose interest so there is no chance of me ever having 20 conversations on the go "I'm the same on all those counts lol, I'm gonna double check.... | |||
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"I'm really bad at keeping convos going so most get fed up and drift away anyway lol. Anyone who pushes for a meet too soon loses my interest, if their sense of humour doesn't make my clit twitch I lose interest and if they turn their nose up at tea or coffee I lose interest so there is no chance of me ever having 20 conversations on the go
I'm the same on all those cunts lol, I'm gonna double lick...."oh let me watch n film | |||
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"I'm really bad at keeping convos going so most get fed up and drift away anyway lol. Anyone who pushes for a meet too soon loses my interest, if their sense of humour doesn't make my clit twitch I lose interest and if they turn their nose up at tea or coffee I lose interest so there is no chance of me ever having 20 conversations on the go
I'm the same on all those cunts lol, I'm gonna double lick....
oh let me watch n film"Behave sasanach!!! | |||
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"I'm really bad at keeping convos going so most get fed up and drift away anyway lol. Anyone who pushes for a meet too soon loses my interest, if their sense of humour doesn't make my clit twitch I lose interest and if they turn their nose up at tea or coffee I lose interest so there is no chance of me ever having 20 conversations on the go
I'm the same on all those cunts lol, I'm gonna double lick....
oh let me watch n film
Behave sasanach!!!" | |||
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"It’s very much like spinning plates OP, keep breadcrumbing the ‘maybes’ and string along the ‘definite maybes’, narrow it down to 800, then pluck one at random from a hat. Meet him, ask him to carry out a series of tasks, if he doesn’t complete the tasks in 24 hours, pull the next out of a tombola. Good luck in your search X" But I don't like spinning plates - and I certainly don't string people along, so I mostly say no so as not to waste anyone's time. I wonder what all the ladies who only talk to one or two say to the others? If there's a bunch of people I haven't replied to for days I tend to put a status up apologising, but I don't want to say no on sight to people with whom I could click, if we got chatting. I don't know what to do for the best. | |||
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"i know your posh n rich OP.. why not just employ a butler.. think of it..candlelit massages in the bath, with gentle caresses and kisses to the back of your neck...a nice wine poured, a tea before bed... payment is easy...I like a munch in the morning" Muffin? | |||
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"i know your posh n rich OP.. why not just employ a butler.. think of it..candlelit massages in the bath, with gentle caresses and kisses to the back of your neck...a nice wine poured, a tea before bed... payment is easy...I like a munch in the morning Muffin?" i love staying at the muff inn | |||
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"It’s very much like spinning plates OP, keep breadcrumbing the ‘maybes’ and string along the ‘definite maybes’, narrow it down to 800, then pluck one at random from a hat. Meet him, ask him to carry out a series of tasks, if he doesn’t complete the tasks in 24 hours, pull the next out of a tombola. Good luck in your search X But I don't like spinning plates - and I certainly don't string people along, so I mostly say no so as not to waste anyone's time. I wonder what all the ladies who only talk to one or two say to the others? If there's a bunch of people I haven't replied to for days I tend to put a status up apologising, but I don't want to say no on sight to people with whom I could click, if we got chatting. I don't know what to do for the best. "Surely you have been here long enough to know how to juggle your messages ..its not rocket science..if you can't cope lose a few .. Methinks the lady doth protest too much | |||
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"It’s very much like spinning plates OP, keep breadcrumbing the ‘maybes’ and string along the ‘definite maybes’, narrow it down to 800, then pluck one at random from a hat. Meet him, ask him to carry out a series of tasks, if he doesn’t complete the tasks in 24 hours, pull the next out of a tombola. Good luck in your search X But I don't like spinning plates - and I certainly don't string people along, so I mostly say no so as not to waste anyone's time. I wonder what all the ladies who only talk to one or two say to the others? If there's a bunch of people I haven't replied to for days I tend to put a status up apologising, but I don't want to say no on sight to people with whom I could click, if we got chatting. I don't know what to do for the best.
Surely you have been here long enough to know how to juggle your messages ..its not rocket science..if you can't cope lose a few ..
Methinks the lady doth protest too much "Lol, who pissed on your chips then? | |||
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"I don't chat to too many at once. Mind you I don't think I could find 20 that would keep me that interested for very long Well they don't really, that's why I haven't replied to most for days I guess....but how do you get past refusing the 'Let's meet for a coffee, when are you free?' or just let them fall away...." Let them fall away. Anybody really interested in you will take time getting to know you. Anybody after a quick fuck will fall by the wayside as they will not be prepared to spend a long time getting to know you. Always trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right about somebody stop speaking to them. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. It works well for me. I can't have lots of conversations going at once though." Same here. I spend a long time getting to know somebody before I meet them. | |||
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"I don't know how you can keep up with so many OP I have a max of 8-10 any more than that and its impossible for me. I tend to chat to about half a dozen but many just end up not really getting my attention so after a handful of messages I know if its not going anywhere and say bye bye. " I can't keep up with them - that's what I am saying! I guess because I am after someone who I really connect with socially rather than merely a sexual thing I am wanting to at least chat a little before I decide, if all else appears plausible, I don't expect bolts of lighting before we've even spoken! I'm not trying to have 20 conversations at once, but I have answered nearly all of them indicating I would be open to talk. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. " So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? | |||
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"I've been hidden and contemplating hanging up my swingle boots because I rarely even have one decent conversation on the go. " I can relate to that...actually they are better here than on dating sites, they're enough to make you want to slash your wrists!! | |||
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"I've been hidden and contemplating hanging up my swingle boots because I rarely even have one decent conversation on the go. I can relate to that...actually they are better here than on dating sites, they're enough to make you want to slash your wrists!!" It wouldn't take much for me to reach for the blade. | |||
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"It’s very much like spinning plates OP, keep breadcrumbing the ‘maybes’ and string along the ‘definite maybes’, narrow it down to 800, then pluck one at random from a hat. Meet him, ask him to carry out a series of tasks, if he doesn’t complete the tasks in 24 hours, pull the next out of a tombola. Good luck in your search X But I don't like spinning plates - and I certainly don't string people along, so I mostly say no so as not to waste anyone's time. I wonder what all the ladies who only talk to one or two say to the others? If there's a bunch of people I haven't replied to for days I tend to put a status up apologising, but I don't want to say no on sight to people with whom I could click, if we got chatting. I don't know what to do for the best.
Surely you have been here long enough to know how to juggle your messages ..its not rocket science..if you can't cope lose a few ..
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
Lol, who pissed on your chips then? "Its not about me.. its you thats complaining you can't handle all your messages.. | |||
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"It’s very much like spinning plates OP, keep breadcrumbing the ‘maybes’ and string along the ‘definite maybes’, narrow it down to 800, then pluck one at random from a hat. Meet him, ask him to carry out a series of tasks, if he doesn’t complete the tasks in 24 hours, pull the next out of a tombola. Good luck in your search X But I don't like spinning plates - and I certainly don't string people along, so I mostly say no so as not to waste anyone's time. I wonder what all the ladies who only talk to one or two say to the others? If there's a bunch of people I haven't replied to for days I tend to put a status up apologising, but I don't want to say no on sight to people with whom I could click, if we got chatting. I don't know what to do for the best.
Surely you have been here long enough to know how to juggle your messages ..its not rocket science..if you can't cope lose a few ..
Methinks the lady doth protest too much
Lol, who pissed on your chips then?
Its not about me..
"Oh I understand... | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more?" Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking." I’m the same. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking." Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. " Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol! | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees "At present I have limited time and so restrict conversations to local guys who meet my criteria. | |||
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"Bugger off men, this is for ladies only...... Ladies, how on earth do you decide who to carry on chatting to and who not, and what do you do with the 'maybe's'??? Do you put them off forever or try and keep them on the back burner......?
I've gotten behind on conversations, I've just done some ruthless pruning, and I've still got more than 20 conversations left - most of whom messaged a few times and then said 'Lets meet for a coffee....'
Aaargh, I can't meet everyone, not even for coffee, and yet I cannot sustain 20 conversations, how on earth do you decide?! That inevitably means some perfectly plausible peeps will just fall by the wayside because I never got to know them and can't keep up...
Do you only meet someone who you find really engaging and let the other conversations slide.... or what??
#cantseethewoodforthetrees
At present I have limited time and so restrict conversations to local guys who meet my criteria. "But they all are, at least on paper... | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol! "Mine were both well worth waiting for | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol!
Mine were both well worth waiting for "Mine was from Romford and had been lying through his little pointed teeth lol! I walked out.... | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting." If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol!
Mine were both well worth waiting for
Mine was from Romford and had been lying through his little pointed teeth lol! I walked out.... "Sounds like a Romford boy lol I try to not meet too local and steer clear of Essex boy types. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning." I guess it's usually them who sent the last message....maybe I'm just a bit jaded with the process - can someone please deliver the perfect local fwb to my door please, I have rock cakes? | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol!
Mine were both well worth waiting for
Mine was from Romford and had been lying through his little pointed teeth lol! I walked out....
Sounds like a Romford boy lol I try to not meet too local and steer clear of Essex boy types. "It's a shame in some ways he was very sweet, used to go on long bike rides on Sundays and send me pics of all the wildlife he saw lol! I'm afraid I cannot face queuing to go over that bridge for anyone now, Essex boys get deleted poor darlings!! | |||
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"I tend to keep in touch with those who've put the most effort in to trying to keep the conversation going, I have the most in common with, and the ones who when I see their name in my inbox makes me smile and want to look at the message straight away. If they drift off I never go after them, but sometimes if it's me that failed to reply for a few days I feel a bit guilty.... Trouble is once they start asking to meet the conversation becomes strained sometimes." Well I would lose interest if you didn’t reply for days if that's of any help to your plan and 10 men isn't that a little greedy? Concentrate on one or two that's my advice but of course I'm not a lady | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking." I've been chatting to one lovely man for well over a year now...I wasn't meeting when we started chatting and I'm only now tentatively thinking about meeting again. There are guys willing to wait and if the chat is good between you they seem happy to wait. It's not like they are waiting exclusively for me... but when the time is right it'll happen. | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two "Me too... Forums and chatrooms are where I interact with lots of people... Mail is just for a very few. Even when I was meeting I rarely chatted regularly with more than two. It's quite simple really OP. Pick the ones who's yellow tab makes you smile most without even having read their message... Follow your gut | |||
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"When I was accepting messages and looking to meet I'd always have a pool of 5 or 6 guys that interested me. I'd chat to all of them but 1 would always rise to the top, it usually was the bastard but there would normally only be the 1 that I would look forward to getting messages off and would exchange numbers with. I don't think it's possible to give the same level of interest and attention to multiple people, there'll always be one that stands out. " Definitely this! | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Me too... Forums and chatrooms are where I interact with lots of people... Mail is just for a very few. Even when I was meeting I rarely chatted regularly with more than two.
It's quite simple really OP. Pick the ones who's yellow tab makes you smile most without even having read their message... Follow your gut "So do you say no to the rest or diplomatically tell them that other people have your attention at the moment? | |||
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"I tend to keep in touch with those who've put the most effort in to trying to keep the conversation going, I have the most in common with, and the ones who when I see their name in my inbox makes me smile and want to look at the message straight away. If they drift off I never go after them, but sometimes if it's me that failed to reply for a few days I feel a bit guilty.... Trouble is once they start asking to meet the conversation becomes strained sometimes.Well I would lose interest if you didn’t reply for days if that's of any help to your plan and 10 men isn't that a little greedy?" It's not a question of greed at all, more of not wanting to write everyone off! | |||
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"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome " There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you? | |||
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"I struggle with one... on the verge of happy with none... I have a very low boredom threshold... 20??? I'd need a PA and a therapist... "Exactly! I need Estella as my diplomatic PA and therapy is always welcome lol, tell me about my psyche! | |||
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"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?" that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? | |||
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"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? " You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority. | |||
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"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority." I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on | |||
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"Personally, I don’t like to text much. In my experience, the super long winded messages, and ping pong players aren’t worth the effort. I’m here for serious contenders. I trust my instincts a bit. And..Skip forward to a phone call. You get lots more out of the interaction when you can hear tone of voice. And most importantly, when can he hold a real conversation, where he hasn’t had a chance to mull over the perfect e-mail response. Phone call goes well, arrange a meet at the end for a social." Yeah you may be right there - you're more decisive than me, I hate chatting to strangers on the phone, always have, so I tend to want to wait until it feels like speaking to a friend. But you are right, it would speed up the process. | |||
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"Personally, I don’t like to text much. In my experience, the super long winded messages, and ping pong players aren’t worth the effort. I’m here for serious contenders. I trust my instincts a bit. And..Skip forward to a phone call. You get lots more out of the interaction when you can hear tone of voice. And most importantly, when can he hold a real conversation, where he hasn’t had a chance to mull over the perfect e-mail response. Phone call goes well, arrange a meet at the end for a social. Yeah you may be right there - you're more decisive than me, I hate chatting to strangers on the phone, always have, so I tend to want to wait until it feels like speaking to a friend. But you are right, it would speed up the process. " a phone call after you've chatted for a while is a great way to get personality and find out if you at least have flowing conversation | |||
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"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on " Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. "only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift "Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders..... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
"think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences "Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences
Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! "Well their ya go, win win and adding a sense of fairness to all this and the statement ' he's a player' are not many women here players to? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences
Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! Well their ya go, win win and adding a sense of fairness to all this and the statement ' he's a player' are not many women here players to? "Some will be for sure - I think the numbers ratio on here make it more likely for the men to be the players though, the evil women are more likely to be prima donnas lol!;-) Seriously, all kinds of liaisons work on here, as long as people are honest about what they are getting into and don't try to manipulate people, I have no axe to grind. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"With the op's permission, I shall weigh in as I wanted to say the following... Your scenario of letting one guy in 20 prevail is flawed. What if he's doing the same? Then you select him only to find out you're just one of several he's more interested in. You're equating effort with success when you should be seeking compatibility. Only one way to do that. Chat to fewer guys and give the ones that interest you the chance of a social or phone call. Instead you seem to be trying to keep as much as possible cyber. Garnering lots of male interest, putting them through an effort test (wherein only the players will win), discard the rest, and then hope what you've got left is worth the effort. Sounds wonky to me I hope you get it all untangled soon op "Gonna think about this while I ride my pony and get back to it on my return x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences
Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! Well their ya go, win win and adding a sense of fairness to all this and the statement ' he's a player' are not many women here players to?
Some will be for sure - I think the numbers ratio on here make it more likely for the men to be the players though, the evil women are more likely to be prima donnas lol!;-)
Seriously, all kinds of liaisons work on here, as long as people are honest about what they are getting into and don't try to manipulate people, I have no axe to grind. "' evil women' | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Me too... Forums and chatrooms are where I interact with lots of people... Mail is just for a very few. Even when I was meeting I rarely chatted regularly with more than two.
It's quite simple really OP. Pick the ones who's yellow tab makes you smile most without even having read their message... Follow your gut
So do you say no to the rest or diplomatically tell them that other people have your attention at the moment?"Generally the latter. Some would view that as a challenge... But mostly I would just get a 'lucky guy/guys, thank you for your honesty' response, and then they'd move on. I don't believe in stringing anyone along. Some I keep in touch with but at a much reduced level, they'll just check in every few weeks/months to say hi and ask how things are going. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences
Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! Well their ya go, win win and adding a sense of fairness to all this and the statement ' he's a player' are not many women here players to?
Some will be for sure - I think the numbers ratio on here make it more likely for the men to be the players though, the evil women are more likely to be prima donnas lol!;-)
Seriously, all kinds of liaisons work on here, as long as people are honest about what they are getting into and don't try to manipulate people, I have no axe to grind. ' evil women'"As opposed to the nice ones... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Give one better attention, otherwise it's the kid in s candy shop syndrome There is always one who holds my attention more, that's how I'm wired, but say you fulfilled my criteria and approached me when I'm already chatting - what would you hope I would say to be fair to you?that's my point, say for example I come along but you're already enamored with one maybe two but I dazzle you with my charm and you love my look, then the other guys lose your focus which is really unfair on them, this scenario is the age old problem of sites like this and the age old answer is ' but it's a swingers site' but we are all here for different reasons some physically state on the profile they are up for a relationship, I think you do and I've seen a few forumite profiles saying this some of who meet quite a lot which then makes me think relationship really! We are on a swinging site but many differing requirements from many differing people, some dont meet, some just chat but if you say you want something stay focused, it's not a day out shopping for new shoes and buying everything but is it? You didn't answer my question - what would you like me to say to you Mr hypothetical charming punter, when I am already 'locked on' to someone else? And believe me it's much harder than that to get my focus OFF someone who has engaged me, I am monogamous by nature - the problem is always finding people that can do that in the first place! Someone who engages me will always get priority.I was answering, if you didn’t show some focus on my hypothetical charming engaging example of a man then how would he become focused on you, some guys read profiles and expect attention all of course received in a naturally charming way and if they don't get that then they move on Then I guess the law of the jungle applies...unless I ignore them to start with, people are left hanging and they either wander off forever or come back and try again. Just doesn't seem very civilised or efficient. only a few guys have the ability to stay focused and be charming always it's a gift
Yup, and they always turn out to be players, and so it's back to square one lol! Snakes and ladders.....
think about what a player means it's a charming man yes a man who can engage your attention a man who floats your boat sexually maybe even a flirt but that doesn't maybe want to commit to you , firstly people would say surely thats the point of this place but I would say surely all men of this ilk have the traits mentioned, as we get older do we want to commit naturally to another human in a monogamous relationship, I would but not many would I would say, so perhaps most men could be deemed to be players as you put it, what I would do is stop over thinking it and enjoy the company of the best of the bunch and if it works out it works out, if it doesn't you still have great life experiences
Oh I've been doing that on here for 5 years, don't worry! Well their ya go, win win and adding a sense of fairness to all this and the statement ' he's a player' are not many women here players to?
Some will be for sure - I think the numbers ratio on here make it more likely for the men to be the players though, the evil women are more likely to be prima donnas lol!;-)
Seriously, all kinds of liaisons work on here, as long as people are honest about what they are getting into and don't try to manipulate people, I have no axe to grind. ' evil women'
As opposed to the nice ones... "all women are lovely | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"With the op's permission, I shall weigh in as I wanted to say the following... Your scenario of letting one guy in 20 prevail is flawed. What if he's doing the same? Then you select him only to find out you're just one of several he's more interested in. You're equating effort with success when you should be seeking compatibility. Only one way to do that. Chat to fewer guys and give the ones that interest you the chance of a social or phone call. Instead you seem to be trying to keep as much as possible cyber. Garnering lots of male interest, putting them through an effort test (wherein only the players will win), discard the rest, and then hope what you've got left is worth the effort. )" I think a lot of this rings very true. I am seriously not trying to 'test' anyone, and I am really not into 'interest for interest sake' - guys on the forums will affirm that I say no pretty damn early on if I don't think we are compatible. I don't need my ego stroked, and I can rarely be bothered to do new pics. And yet when the effortless charmer with the hot pics comes along it's easy to lose sight of people that actually may be more compatible, especially if you've only just started talking to them. I'm not expecting to find a relationship here, but I'd like the next best thing, not just some hot sex, so I do seek more compatibility. Hmm, food for thought - there are some very good points on this thread, I am formulating a new strategy on the back of it! Men are like buses on here, it always seems to be too much or not enough lol! | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning." I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it." I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time! | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time!" I get that, but always having to start the conversation makes me think that the lady would rather not hear from me, and I hate being thought of as a pest. Even if it is a totally awesome dayvup here in the Cotswolds today!.... | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time!" you have to show an interest in the guy to another reason why I personally lose interest if the woman doesn't make an effort and especially if she blames it on time constrictions | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time!you have to show an interest in the guy to another reason why I personally lose interest if the woman doesn't make an effort and especially if she blames it on time constrictions" Oh I am very responsive, there is no lack of effort if I am interested.....and if I am not really, well then the falling away is mutual I guess. I simply don't initiate, that's how I am built, but that does not mean lack of interest in my case, my profile does explain a little. You can't have it both ways - we can't 'concentrate on the few' and 'make the same effort' for everyone. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time! I get that, but always having to start the conversation makes me think that the lady would rather not hear from me, and I hate being thought of as a pest. Even if it is a totally awesome dayvup here in the Cotswolds today!.... " It's a totally awesome day on the North Downs too I have to admit, makes the SE nearly bearable.
That's just how I'm wired - I'm primal prey apparently, I respond, I don't initiate. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time!you have to show an interest in the guy to another reason why I personally lose interest if the woman doesn't make an effort and especially if she blames it on time constrictions Oh I am very responsive, there is no lack of effort if I am interested.....and if I am not really, well then the falling away is mutual I guess. I simply don't initiate, that's how I am built, but that does not mean lack of interest in my case, my profile does explain a little. You can't have it both ways - we can't 'concentrate on the few' and 'make the same effort' for everyone." that's what I was saying earlier 10 guys seems a bit much how can you give them your undivided attention, you can't really can you? | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that..... "Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them? | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them? "Cos the right people might not be the most obvious I guess? And because I am open to a relationship, so willing to consider subtler attractions. | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time! I get that, but always having to start the conversation makes me think that the lady would rather not hear from me, and I hate being thought of as a pest. Even if it is a totally awesome dayvup here in the Cotswolds today!....
It's a totally awesome day on the North Downs too I have to admit, makes the SE nearly bearable.
That's just how I'm wired - I'm primal prey apparently, I respond, I don't initiate."Strange, you strike me as the kind of lady who would respond rather well... | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. Haha, good phrase! Do you contact them during that time or leave them to contact you again? I guess I'm torn between not wanting to waste my time or theirs in chatting for ages to no avail, and wanting to wait until I feel that connection before meeting. If I've sent the last message it's up to them to reply. I don't talk to anyone I'm not facially attracted to in the beginning. I wonder about the last message thing. Do you have to alternate? Sometimes a conversation just ends naturally. I usually instigate the next one and wonder if she thinks 'not that twat again' but is too polite not to reply. I would hate to think she doesn't feel able to start a conversation, but it's usually me that does it. I virtually never do - I leave it to the guys, it's another way to slow things down and give me more time! I get that, but always having to start the conversation makes me think that the lady would rather not hear from me, and I hate being thought of as a pest. Even if it is a totally awesome dayvup here in the Cotswolds today!....
It's a totally awesome day on the North Downs too I have to admit, makes the SE nearly bearable.
That's just how I'm wired - I'm primal prey apparently, I respond, I don't initiate.
Strange, you strike me as the kind of lady who would respond rather well... "It has been said...... | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them?
Cos the right people might not be the most obvious I guess? And because I am open to a relationship, so willing to consider subtler attractions."Im surprised if your open to a relationship that you haven't just given up and come to the conclusion most on here (not all) will tell you what you want to hear. I have discovered that someone studied my replies over a long period of time on the forums. So they were aware of my likes and dislikes. I dont know how you can be bothered. But yes you maybe right about missing the right one...good luck lovely | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them?
Cos the right people might not be the most obvious I guess? And because I am open to a relationship, so willing to consider subtler attractions.
Im surprised if your open to a relationship that you haven't just given up and come to the conclusion most on here (not all) will tell you what you want to hear.
I have discovered that someone studied my replies over a long period of time on the forums. So they were aware of my likes and dislikes.
I dont know how you can be bothered.
But yes you maybe right about missing the right one...good luck lovely "Well you too, I am sure you'd clean up on the right dating site!! Sometimes I can't be bothered, but I have been lucky on here, I have always been able to find really good fwb and fb and avoided bedding the con merchants mostly. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them?
Cos the right people might not be the most obvious I guess? And because I am open to a relationship, so willing to consider subtler attractions.
Im surprised if your open to a relationship that you haven't just given up and come to the conclusion most on here (not all) will tell you what you want to hear.
I have discovered that someone studied my replies over a long period of time on the forums. So they were aware of my likes and dislikes.
I dont know how you can be bothered.
But yes you maybe right about missing the right one...good luck lovely
Well you too, I am sure you'd clean up on the right dating site!! Sometimes I can't be bothered, but I have been lucky on here, I have always been able to find really good fwb and fb and avoided bedding the con merchants mostly. "Maybe your way is the right way then.. Maybe I need some Frisky Mare lessons | |||
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"I think I'm doing it wrong. I only speak to one or two
Well if I had one or two who really stood out I would prefer that.....
Just choose two. Why do they need to stand out. And if none of them stand out,why are you talking to them?
Cos the right people might not be the most obvious I guess? And because I am open to a relationship, so willing to consider subtler attractions.
Im surprised if your open to a relationship that you haven't just given up and come to the conclusion most on here (not all) will tell you what you want to hear.
I have discovered that someone studied my replies over a long period of time on the forums. So they were aware of my likes and dislikes.
I dont know how you can be bothered.
But yes you maybe right about missing the right one...good luck lovely
Well you too, I am sure you'd clean up on the right dating site!! Sometimes I can't be bothered, but I have been lucky on here, I have always been able to find really good fwb and fb and avoided bedding the con merchants mostly.
Maybe your way is the right way then..
Maybe I need some Frisky Mare lessons "Haha, Frisky Mare Inc., step this way for your special offer intro course in compromise shaggery.... | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms. "Nah, it's just a turn of phrase really. As in due to circumstances, my availability and theirs something is more likely to happen sooner with some ladies than others. The others I may very well want to meet with, but due to it being "less possible" at the time then they'd "go on the back-burner". Common sense really!
Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with? | |||
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"I chat for a long time. Anyone I really hit it off with and is serious about meeting will stick around. So when they feel they have chatted enough to ask to meet do you just say no I like to chat for weeks more? Yes,I tell them I don't feel any connection yet. If they don't want to wait to see if it happens that's fine. I have had a couple of men I met after a year of talking. I’m the same. Two years was my longest, and it didn't go well after all that lol!
Mine were both well worth waiting for
Mine was from Romford and had been lying through his little pointed teeth lol! I walked out....
Sounds like a Romford boy lol I try to not meet too local and steer clear of Essex boy types.
It's a shame in some ways he was very sweet, used to go on long bike rides on Sundays and send me pics of all the wildlife he saw lol! I'm afraid I cannot face queuing to go over that bridge for anyone now, Essex boys get deleted poor darlings!!"I'm the same with men on your side of the Thames. It's such a mission on the train for me I don't bother. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms.
Nah, it's just a turn of phrase really. As in due to circumstances, my availability and theirs something is more likely to happen sooner with some ladies than others. The others I may very well want to meet with, but due to it being "less possible" at the time then they'd "go on the back-burner". Common sense really!
Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with?"We’ve been on the back burner for years!! You really must pop over for tea and biscuits. | |||
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"oh whoa .. guys may out number ladies that's a fact. Guys have exactly the same choices as well. Chat or not. I consider fab a two way street
Nobody said it wasn’t
Maybe it was the comment of keep them on the backburner that suggested it was all on the ladies terms.
Nah, it's just a turn of phrase really. As in due to circumstances, my availability and theirs something is more likely to happen sooner with some ladies than others. The others I may very well want to meet with, but due to it being "less possible" at the time then they'd "go on the back-burner". Common sense really!
Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with?
We’ve been on the back burner for years!!
You really must pop over for tea and biscuits."Though we have at least met up before ha! One lady I've been chatting to on and off for about 5 years and never met up with? I've never once suggested doing so either, though she has to me plenty as I don't want to make her feel pressured. If it happens then it will at some point, that's the way I look at it. If it doesn't due to circumstance or whatever then I'll have lots of fun with others regardless and I'll have enjoyed chatting to her anyway. I do see the point a previous poster made about it taking up a lot of time having a lot of ongoing conversations with potential meets at once though. Sometimes I have to put the "No more messages from anyone I've not chatted to before" up though, which helps manage things I find. And I like tea. And biccies. And I'm rather enamoured by you...
Yes, I really must. | |||
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" Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with?" Haha, you and I would never meet! | |||
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Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this "Some women do....but I find it really disheartening trying to sift through profiles and find a needle in a haystack, I did that on the first year or two on dating sites and it's gotten WAY old now....but when I did the BDSM test and it came out I was primal prey I thought - 'Duh yeah of course!'. It's just how I'm wired, sorry, I need to be hunted, swept off my feet and pinned to the wall!! | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
Some women do....but I find it really disheartening trying to sift through profiles and find a needle in a haystack, I did that on the first year or two on dating sites and it's gotten WAY old now....but when I did the BDSM test and it came out I was primal prey I thought - 'Duh yeah of course!'. It's just how I'm wired, sorry, I need to be hunted, swept off my feet and pinned to the wall!! "There is no hunting online. Only playing | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this "Whenever a woman has messaged me first, they usually tell you that’s it very rare they do and basically you should be honoured and flattered. Well the fit ones do anyway. | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this "The one I'm meeting now, I messaged first. In fact the last one I was seeing, I messaged first also | |||
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" Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with? Haha, you and I would never meet! "I guess not if I'm also guessing right at you never suggesting meeting or making the first approach either ha? A lot of women don't tbf. However in my opinion they should as then they could actually hunt and decide on the possibly 5-10% of men on site that float their boat rather than just hoping a mail will land from them lol! The men most in demand don't mail much, for the simple reason that they don't really need to? By contrast unlike the advice I'd give ladies I have good reason not to. I know full well that ladies and couples mailboxes are permanently stuffed as they're always down about that fact, so I don't bother at all. Why would I want to add to that chore for them, that's being an inconvenience, which is hardly appealing is it? So I just rely on choosing playmates from replying thoughtfully to, chatting with and eventually choosing from those that contact me which is a much better idea surely?
Works for me anyway! x | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
Some women do....but I find it really disheartening trying to sift through profiles and find a needle in a haystack, I did that on the first year or two on dating sites and it's gotten WAY old now....but when I did the BDSM test and it came out I was primal prey I thought - 'Duh yeah of course!'. It's just how I'm wired, sorry, I need to be hunted, swept off my feet and pinned to the wall!!
There is no hunting online. Only playing "I get hunted. Like Frisky I’m also primal prey and yep, some of the players I miss but mainly, my meets are wonderful, respectful men. | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
Whenever a woman has messaged me first, they usually tell you that’s it very rare they do and basically you should be honoured and flattered. Well the fit ones do anyway. "To be honest it happens so infrequently to me that I am genuinely flattered and honoured when a woman/couple contacts me out of the blue. Sorry if that sounds a bit fawning but it's true | |||
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" Also same as with who makes the initial contact between us (always them) I'd never suggest meeting for anything to them, physical or coffee before they do. I let them do all that and the asking about meeting up as it's often what they're more comfortable with? Haha, you and I would never meet!
I guess not if I'm also guessing right at you never suggesting meeting or making the first approach either ha? A lot of women don't tbf.
However in my opinion they should as then they could actually hunt and decide on the possibly 5-10% of men on site that float their boat rather than just hoping a mail will land from them lol! The men most in demand don't mail much, for the simple reason that they don't really need to?
By contrast unlike the advice I'd give ladies I have good reason not to. I know full well that ladies and couples mailboxes are permanently stuffed as they're always down about that fact, so I don't bother at all. Why would I want to add to that chore for them, that's being an inconvenience, which is hardly appealing is it?
So I just rely on choosing playmates from replying thoughtfully to, chatting with and eventually choosing from those that contact me which is a much better idea surely?
Works for me anyway! x"That’s what i do and what a lot of women do. Don’t see any issue with it to be honest. People will do what they do. | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
Some women do....but I find it really disheartening trying to sift through profiles and find a needle in a haystack, I did that on the first year or two on dating sites and it's gotten WAY old now....but when I did the BDSM test and it came out I was primal prey I thought - 'Duh yeah of course!'. It's just how I'm wired, sorry, I need to be hunted, swept off my feet and pinned to the wall!!
There is no hunting online. Only playing
I get hunted. Like Frisky I’m also primal prey and yep, some of the players I miss but mainly, my meets are wonderful, respectful men."I must admit I seemed to have managed to avoid the 'shag and go' crowd this way, at least the ones I want to see again seem to feel the same. | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this "I have put a lot of thought into just this. And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me! I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me. Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am. | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am. "That's not big headed at all. Its just fact.I'm sure the majority of females on this site, have many willing to meet them too. It's the perks of being a woman on the site | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am.
That's not big headed at all. Its just fact.I'm sure the majority of females on this site, have many willing to meet them too. It's the perks of being a woman on the site "is it a perk or a curse | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am.
That's not big headed at all. Its just fact.I'm sure the majority of females on this site, have many willing to meet them too. It's the perks of being a woman on the site is it a perk or a curse "Given my current filters. It's not either | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am. "Hi Hampshire I'm intrigued  So your assumption is that the crowd of guys talking to you at the mo automatically include quality males? All you need to do is discern which they are?
Cool. I didn't realise quality guys were so common. My sense from the women on here is there's a drought of quality and from the women I meet there's always the remark of how refreshingly different I am. Like they're utterly exasperated by the lack of quality out there. I'm just going on what I've picked up whilst on here. I would've imagined, statistically speaking, it was eminently possible that, of the op's 20 guys, 0 were worth the effort. It would be quite nice to know things weren't quite so dire for you femmes | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am. "Totally agree with this and I’m exactly the same. I’m speaking to quite a few lovely men i would like to meet. I’ve never had a need to search for any and it’s not big headed at all. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t search but I haven’t had to so far x | |||
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"I do find it odd how passive some women are in this whole process. I wonder if it's a biological thing. But there seems to be the impulse to sit back, see which guys apply, then wait for the most desperate or biggest charmer (player) to prevail before accepting his advances as the winner
Is there no drive to want to get actively involved in seeking out a guy who you want to be with rather than passively selecting from who comes to you? Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick but some of the posts on here read a bit like this
I have put a lot of thought into just this.
And what I've come up with is this.... I simply do not have the time to sit and search for guys..... Without meaning to sound big-headed.... I don't need to search as they keep finding me!
I have many guys that I'm chatting to at the moment all of which I would love to meet but sadly there is only one of me.
Again without meaning to sound big-headed I almost have a waiting list for meets.... How do I choose?? It depends on whose free when I am. "It doesn't sound big-headed saying you have a waiting list for meets, so do I and doubtless most of the ones who fully embrace the lifestyle on here too. And you're right about chance and circumstance dictating a lot who you choose to play with at any given time? In regards to your strategy though, I'd say you also don't have a lot of the time to check guys profiles because you'll have to spend a lot of it sifting through say 500 mails a day or whatever, lots of them shit? I've thought about the massive problem single women have on here (and the one that single guys don't have to combat which conversely makes life a breeze for us Fab-wise in my experience), and if I were a single woman on Fab then I'd simply block all single guys right away, then just turn huntress, cherry picking the ones who appealed to me and messaging them? And as I'd messaged first they'd be the only ones to be able to message back? Therefore I'd only spend time chatting to or even checking mails from the chaps that appealed most to me, rather than sifting through piles and piles of utter shite? Sounds logical anyway! | |||
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Thanks you everyone for your contribution - I'm going to implement Estella's diplomatic raincheck, try to take a leaf out of MixChicks book and force myself to have a quick phonecheck sooner, and no doubt next week there'll be a total drought and I'll be stuck for someone to talk to anyway!! | |||
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