FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I love you....
I love you....
Jump to: Newest in thread
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day. "
You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved.
Same to everyone on this thread. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I used to be riddled with self-loathing, to the extent that I couldn't even handle someone else saying something nice to me (I would run away and start bawling my eyes out) let alone dream of saying something nice to myself.
But everyone seems to think I'm amazing except me, so gradually they've worn me down.
I guess I could probably give myself a "Meh, you're alright" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
"Hell no. I’d be too busy laughing at the idea of it. 
Because it's a daft idea ?"
It would feel daft, yes. Standing in front of a mirror and saying anything to myself would make me feel daft though. I know it’s supposed to be good for you, like Gareth Cheeseman ‘ You are the best, you’re the best, you’re number 1, you’re a tiger roaaaaaar’ But I can’t do it with a straight face. It might be the Yorkshire in me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day.
You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved.
Same to everyone on this thread."
But not truly, as I don't love myself?
Sorry, I just hate that saying. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day.
You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved.
Same to everyone on this thread.
But not truly, as I don't love myself?
Sorry, I just hate that saying. "
Yeah, I hate the idea that if you're not OK with who you are then others can't love you. It's an awfully vicious circle, particularly for those who struggle with depression. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I used to be riddled with self-loathing, to the extent that I couldn't even handle someone else saying something nice to me (I would run away and start bawling my eyes out) let alone dream of saying something nice to myself.
But everyone seems to think I'm amazing except me, so gradually they've worn me down.
I guess I could probably give myself a "Meh, you're alright""
Yes you are. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day. "
xxxxxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you."
That's exactly what I was going to say 
And the simplistic English word love has so many meanings
I indeed love myself as I love my mother or my sister
For me to be the best happiest and most functional human I need to love me first that ensures I don't neglect me which in turn means I don't neglect others and can indeed be strong enough to offer support
So yes j'madore xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not?
"
Good question and I'm surprised but yes I could. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day.
You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved.
Same to everyone on this thread.
But not truly, as I don't love myself?
Sorry, I just hate that saying.
Yeah, I hate the idea that if you're not OK with who you are then others can't love you. It's an awfully vicious circle, particularly for those who struggle with depression. "
Exactly. I find it difficult to like myself most of the time but I know I have people who do love me. It's that love that keeps me going half the time.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I used to be riddled with self-loathing, to the extent that I couldn't even handle someone else saying something nice to me (I would run away and start bawling my eyes out) let alone dream of saying something nice to myself.
But everyone seems to think I'm amazing except me, so gradually they've worn me down.
I guess I could probably give myself a "Meh, you're alright"
Yes you are."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I don't ever think I'll love myself, so no one will ever love me?
Today is a bad day.
You deserve to be loved. You are loveable. You are loved.
Same to everyone on this thread.
But not truly, as I don't love myself?
Sorry, I just hate that saying. "
No words, just a hug of support. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
That's exactly what I was going to say
And the simplistic English word love has so many meanings
I indeed love myself as I love my mother or my sister
For me to be the best happiest and most functional human I need to love me first that ensures I don't neglect me which in turn means I don't neglect others and can indeed be strong enough to offer support
So yes j'madore xxx "
Good to hear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul"
Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul
Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more. "
Ah. I just wanna give you a big massive Mac hug  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul
Can I get an Amen up in here 
Amen!"
Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul
Because I actually care about other people. That's how I can love someone else and not myself. Because I don't love myself, I want to love someone else so much more.
Ah. I just wanna give you a big massive Mac hug "
Sorry, its just one of those things that winds me up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No  . Too much I dislike at the moment
Why?"
Just not where I want to be physically and don't like some of the things about myself but I'll get there again one day |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul
Can I get an Amen up in here
Amen!
Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ?"
Sorry I can’t help. I don’t know you and I’m not psychic. Not nice pointing out that you’ve blocked someone btw. Not good for the old ego |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rsSBWoman
over a year ago
toy town |
It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved.
Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"CRINGE
It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it 
Cheese can be good."
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Of course. One of the benefits of being a vain old cow.
If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else? - Tao of RuPaul
Can I get an Amen up in here
Amen!
Were you in the Midlands at anytime , I have no idea why I blocked you ?
Sorry I can’t help. I don’t know you and I’m not psychic. Not nice pointing out that you’ve blocked someone btw. Not good for the old ego "
Aw , I don't block anyone from forum , even brexit voters xxx but I do block profiles within 30 miles of me , if they are not interested ? Thus was curious if your profile had ever said it was within 30 miles
If not I also have no idea why you would be blocked? And I have over 4000 on my block list so can't find you to unblock lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved.
Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me "
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved.
Ok,why do you think that might be?"
Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much.
However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"CRINGE
It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master "
Yes Dame Barbara |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved.
Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first."
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved.
Ok,why do you think that might be?
Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much.
However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films."
You're allowed to cry, at sad films and life in general x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"CRINGE
It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master
Yes Dame Barbara"
I just tried "Hello Darling" and that seemed fine. Does that count? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved.
Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first.
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff. "
You are absolutely right, there's no one right way. You have to find what works for you.
But as someone who walked round with a sack of misery/loathing/guilt on her back for many many years,I do know what that feels like,and it doesn't half feel good if you can put it down and be kind to yourself.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
"Probably not, because I don't open up easily to being loved.
Ok,why do you think that might be?
Think I was brought up not to show emotion too much.
However as I'm getting older I'm getting better (or worse). Now such a softy and blubber at the drop of a hat at sad films.
You're allowed to cry, at sad films and life in general x"
That's a good job as I'm a dab hand at both at the minute |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable."
I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations.
If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship.
It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"CRINGE
It would just feel really cheesy. But I understand that that's a bad approach to the whole thing. So maybe I should try and get over it
Cheese can be good.
Hey! You're talking to the Mills and Boon master
Yes Dame Barbara
I just tried "Hello Darling" and that seemed fine. Does that count? "
For you, that's a win |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable.
I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations.
If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship.
It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building.
"
Agree with this. Like building on a fault line. Always potential for cracking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not?
"
I do it all the time anyway. I’m fucking amazing 
I don’t btw. Just said for comedy effect. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It's so important to love oneself, and I am not talking as in wanking, I mean to tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are worthy of being loved.
Probably a bit too new age for some, but it works for me
It does work. Even if you don't believe it at first.
Unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone. I don't want to get too much into specifics, but this kind of thinking backfired on me for a long time, made the problem worse. I absolutely appreciate that you mean well, but there's no one right way about this stuff.
You are absolutely right, there's no one right way. You have to find what works for you.
But as someone who walked round with a sack of misery/loathing/guilt on her back for many many years,I do know what that feels like,and it doesn't half feel good if you can put it down and be kind to yourself.
"
I know. I've walked a similar path. But the prescription of love, lest you be unlovable, did me harm. I found another way to a similar result. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you.
I disagree - we are at our best when we love the unlovable.
I think my take on this would be...If you were building a house and you wanted it to stay standing you'd need strong foundations.
If you are building a loving, lasting relationship you need strong foundations too. If someone doesn't love themselves it weakens the foundations of that relationship.
It doesn't mean they can't be loved, but it does make it harder to stop those cracks in the foundations affecting the whole building.
"
Sure. But nonetheless some people are healed by the love of another, and thereby learn to love themselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ficouldMan
over a year ago
a quandary, could you change my mind? |
"If you had to look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say "I love you" could you do it convincingly, and if not why not?
You have to love yourself before anyone can truly love you."
Love myself, "no it would seem empty" I'd much rather love another with a hope they might love me back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
